Rachel Zane
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Quotes for
Rachel Zane (Character)
from "Suits" (2011)

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"Suits: Yesterday's Gone (#3.12)" (2014)
Rachel Zane: What are you so happy about?
Mike Ross: I made bubble-wrap slippers this morning while you were in the shower.
Rachel Zane: I specifically told you the bubble wrap is for the dishes.
Mike Ross: I also made a hat.
Rachel Zane: Okay, I'm moving in with a 10-year-old.

Mike Ross: We're moving in together. I think it's time we stopped keeping it a secret.
Rachel Zane: But keeping it a secret is sort of fun.
Mike Ross: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Zane: And sexy.
Mike Ross: And I am pro sexy; I mean, I did make those bubble-wrap slippers and hat after all, which is funny, 'cause That's not sexy, it's just fun.
Rachel Zane: It's something.
Mike Ross: Something.
Rachel Zane: Something.
Mike Ross: I made you some too.

Rachel Zane: Mike, you can't just wait for the ax to fall.
Mike Ross: I didn't just wait. I armed myself. I learned everything there is to know about Gerard and his class. Harvey is right. This guy is a prick. He makes everybody read his books and then doesn't even test them on it.

Rachel Zane: I am trying so hard to be brave. But what if Louis ends up finding out everything about Mike? What if he ends up exposing him and he actually gets arrested? What if he actually - God.
Donna Paulsen: Rach, Mike found out that one of our partners ordered multiple murders. Harvey said he'd fix it. Two days later, that partner was in prison.
Rachel Zane: Stephen was a criminal. This is an academic. He hasn't done anything wrong.
Donna Paulsen: Well, what makes Harvey great at his job is he knows that everybody has done something wrong.
Rachel Zane: Even the most esteemed ethics professor in the country?
Donna Paulsen: The cleaner they look, the more dirt they've swept under the rug.

"Suits: Shadow of a Doubt (#3.5)" (2013)
Rachel Zane: [about Donna and Stephen] So are you two going to keep...
Donna Paulsen: Yes, it is some of the best damn...
[Someone walks by]
Donna Paulsen: *Yoga* I've had in a long time.
Rachel Zane: Well, sooner or later, Harvey's gonna find out, because it is all over your face.
Donna Paulsen: Oh, please, you're a woman. Men are oblivious.
Louis Litt: [Walking by] There's something different about you. What is it?
Rachel Zane: Yes, please tell the man what it is.
Donna Paulsen: Nothing, Louis. I'm just - been doing some yoga.
Louis Litt: No, that's not it. You're practically glowing. Tell me your secret.
Donna Paulsen: I don't think that it's your cup of tea.
Louis Litt: For that glow, I'd tea.

Rachel Zane: You want me to be the Mike to your Harvey.
Mike Ross: I do want you to be the Mike to my Harvey.
Rachel Zane: Yeah, well it's not really a thing.
Mike Ross: It can be!
Mike Ross, Rachel Zane: Huh.
Rachel Zane: I get to ask half the questions.
Mike Ross: Harvey doesn't let Mike ask half the questions.
Rachel Zane: Fine. One-third.
Mike Ross: Harvey doesn't negotiate with Mike.
Rachel Zane: Mike doesn't have sex with Harvey.
Mike Ross: One-third of the questions seems reasonable to me.

Mike Ross: I see where she gets it from.
Rachel Zane, Laura Zane: Gets what?
Robert Zane: You better shut up and eat your potatoes.

Mike Ross: Our discussion gave me an idea.
Rachel Zane: Our discussion?
Mike Ross: Can we please not fight about what to call our fight?

"Suits: Conflict of Interest (#3.4)" (2013)
Rachel Zane: Oh, that man is trouble.
Donna Paulsen: It's okay. I can handle it.
Rachel Zane: Oh, no, it's okay. I don't need you to.
Donna Paulsen: Wait. What are we talking about?
Rachel Zane: The fact that he's into me.
Donna Paulsen: Were you here? He's into me.
Rachel Zane: Then why was I the one getting all the stares?
Donna Paulsen: Haven't you ever heard, "go after the second prettiest to get the prettiest's attention"?
Rachel Zane: Well, it's a thing.
Donna Paulsen: Oh. Are you saying I'm the second prettiest?

Donna Paulsen: Why should I go out with him? Just because he's charming and hot?
Rachel Zane: And witty and British.
Donna Paulsen: And has a title.
Rachel Zane: He does?
Donna Paulsen: No. But even if he did, that wouldn't be a reason.

Rachel Zane: You trying to score some extra edamame from the delivery guy?
Donna Paulsen: Please, Yuki always brings me extra edamame.

"Suits: One-Two-Three Go... (#4.1)" (2014)
Jessica Pearson: You are not my hair-gelled partner in crime.
Rachel Zane: I haven't used hair gel since ninth grade.
[Jessica gives her a look]
Rachel Zane: I was trying to avoid the frizzy look.

Donna Paulsen: I used mousse in high school. It was the '90s.
Rachel Zane: Was it?
Donna Paulsen: I heard that.

Jessica Pearson: Where is he?
Rachel Zane: Donna said that he had a morning meeting outside of the office.
Rachel Zane: And where is Donna?
Donna Paulsen: Right here. I prefer to appear at the exact moment I'm needed.
Jessica Pearson: I wish I could say the same for Harvey.

"Suits: Break Point (#2.5)" (2012)
Rachel Zane: Here's your goddamn birthday card. I don't appreciate you coming into my office saying that no one at the firm has what they're supposed to have, and I don't know what crawled up your ass today, but I take care of my business.
Donna Paulsen: I'm sorry, Rache. You're right. This isn't about you, this is about me.

Rachel Zane: You know, Louis, if you treated people a tenth as nicely as you treat your cat, they might not feel about you the way they do.

Rachel Zane: You said he was going to fix it.
Mike Ross: I thought he would.

"Suits: She's Mine (#3.7)" (2013)
Louis Litt: Rachel, Louis. Code Red. Did anybody see you leave my office?
Rachel Zane: Norma gave me a look.
Louis Litt: She's on our side.
Rachel Zane: I don't even know if *I'm* on your side.

Mike Ross: Rachel, I'm sorry, but I can't talk right now. I'm typing up Cameron's files from memory.
Rachel Zane: Mike, I am going to lose my first case...
Mike Ross: Uh-huh.
Rachel Zane: A mock case...
Mike Ross: Okay.
Rachel Zane: About a cat.
Mike Ross: Okay, that, I have a couple minutes for.

"Suits: Unfinished Business (#3.3)" (2013)
Louis Litt: Bran bars are forbidden to first years.
Mike Ross: Since when?
Louis Litt: Since two seconds ago. Order of the quartermaster, who is no longer speaking with you. Rachel. Can you please instruct the associate to your right to pass the nondairy creamer?
Mike Ross: Louis, as I have been trying to tell you in person, and in the note I left, and in your voice mail, I'm sorry.
Louis Litt: [Ignores him] Do you know what nondairy creamer is, Rachel?
Rachel Zane: Uh...
Louis Litt: It's a metaphor. The first sip, you think it's real, you know? After all, it wants you to believe that it's genuine and it's good, and it's gonna deliver on its promise. But then with time, you realize that it's just a concoction of chemicals that's designed to disguise the truth that it's actually full of shit.
Rachel Zane: Then why are you drinking it?
Louis Litt: ...I'm lactose intolerant.

Rachel Zane: I just never thought I'd see the great Harriet Specter making her own copies.
Donna Paulsen: Is that what this thing does?
Rachel Zane: You've never made a copy in your life before, have you?
Donna Paulsen: Of course not, I'm too busy being a badass and worrying about my hair.

"Suits: Fork in the Road (#4.13)" (2015)
Donna Paulsen: Okay, so why are we really here? I mean, you didn't just bring me out to talk about Khaleesi.
Rachel Zane: I did. Paul Porter says I look like her translator.
Donna Paulsen: He's a Throner?
Rachel Zane: Though he says I'm a less-attractive version of her translator.

Rachel Zane: I do remember you being the person who told me not to force things that weren't meant to be.
Donna Paulsen: Rachel, just because a person gives advice doesn't mean that they have to follow that same advice. That's one of the core principles outlined in "The Book of Donna".

"Suits: Sucker Punch (#2.7)" (2012)
Rachel Zane: Do you think that it's at all possible that he actually did it?
Mike Ross: No. I don't.
Rachel Zane: How do you know?
Mike Ross: Because I know Harvey. How could you think he could do it?
Rachel Zane: Because I don't know Harvey. All I know is that he thinks he's above the rules and he will do whatever it takes to win.
Mike Ross: Yeah, but that doesn't mean-
[realizes something]
Mike Ross: . You don't think he has integrity.

Rachel Zane: What happens to you if Harvey loses?
Mike Ross: I don't know.

"Suits: Derailed (#4.14)" (2015)
Louis Litt: Do you know the receptionist at the front desk?
Rachel Zane: Yes, her name is Elise.
Louis Litt: Good, you can use her name when you fire her.
Rachel Zane: I don't have the authority to fire people, but I did just talk to her.
Louis Litt: You did?
Rachel Zane: Mm-hmm.
Louis Litt: To set her straight. That's good.
Rachel Zane: No, not good. She came to see me. She said that you've been harassing her.
Louis Litt: What happened?
Rachel Zane: She said that you called and hung up on her over 50 times.
Louis Litt: What? How did she even know it was me?
Rachel Zane: Because you called from your office.

Rachel Zane: Louis, is this really the kind of name partner you want to be?
Louis Litt: No, I want to be the kind of name partner that has his name said on the goddamn phone.
Rachel Zane: Okay, well, in order to fire her without getting sued for harassment, you'd have to fire the entire support staff, and you and I both know that that's never going to happen.
[Louis has a look]
Jessica Pearson: We are not firing all of our support staff.
Louis Litt: Well, it's easy for you to say, being that your name is first.
Jessica Pearson: What are you talking...
Louis Litt: Jessica, I am talking about respect. R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me.

"Suits: Heartburn (#3.14)" (2014)
Mike Ross: Can you pass the sugar?
Rachel Zane: [Not paying attention] Yeah, of course.
Mike Ross: Okay, how 'bout that milk?
Rachel Zane: Sounds great.
Mike Ross: How would you feel about me dating other women now that we're living together and all?
Rachel Zane: Pizza's perfect.

"Suits: Pilot (#1.1)" (2011)
Rachel Zane: This is gonna take a while. We're gonna need dinner.
Mike Ross: Chinese.
Rachel Zane: No. I can afford Chinese on my own. This is on the firm. I want sushi.

"Suits: Zane vs. Zane (#2.13)" (2013)
Rachel Zane: The new opposing counsel is my dad.
Mike Ross: Your dad is Robert Zane?
Rachel Zane: Is it so hard to believe that my father's black?
Mike Ross: Robert Zane is black?
Rachel Zane: You think this is a year round tan?

"Suits: Moot Point (#3.13)" (2014)
Rachel Zane: So are you gonna get something for Harvey?
Mike Ross: I want to, but what do you get the man who has everything?
Rachel Zane: The same thing you got me.
Mike Ross: A picture of him dressed as a mouse?

"Suits: Asterisk (#2.9)" (2012)
Mike Ross: Oh, I may be a little boy, but I'm not a stupid little boy.
Rachel Zane: You're a sneaky little boy.

"Suits: Denial (#5.1)" (2015)
Mike Ross: What about the bubble? There's no Donna in the bubble.
Rachel Zane: Come on, there's room for Donna in the bubble
Mike Ross: You realize I get to sleep with whoever's in the bubble, right?
Rachel Zane: So long as you realize that my dad's in the bubble
Mike Ross: Donna it is

"Suits: All In (#2.6)" (2012)
Louis Litt: I need a list of everything that's wrong with the rehearsal space. For example, the creaky floorboards, they're affecting certain dancers' attitudes.
Harold Gunderson: Oh, they shouldn't let that get them down.
Rachel Zane: "Attitude" is a pose.
Harold Gunderson: Oh, yeah, like striking an attitude. Whatever, I do that all the time.
Louis Litt: Okay. I also need a list of the ballet company principals.
Harold Gunderson: Okay, um, integrity, fidelity, patriotism...
Rachel Zane: Not that kind of principle.
Louis Litt: [to Harold] Okay, we're done.
Harold Gunderson: How am I supposed to know?
Louis Litt: Rachel, you've just been drafted.
Harold Gunderson: Oh, but she's not even a...
Louis Litt: Not what? She's not what, Harold? Ms. Zane not only knows more about ballet than you do, she also knows more about law.

"Suits: Enough Is Enough (#4.11)" (2015)
Rachel Zane: The day after what happened in here happened, I shut you out. But then, a week later, you came to my door, and you said you weren't gonna let me go without a fight.
Mike Ross: That is not the same. I wanted you to fall in love with me.
Rachel Zane: I was already in love with you, and you knew it.
Mike Ross: Yeah, well, Louis is a lot of things, but he's not in love with me.
Rachel Zane: He used to be. You just have to make him remember that.

"Suits: Buried Secrets (#3.11)" (2014)
Mike Ross: Panda, right here. That's my favorite piece of art.
Rachel Zane: That is not art.
Mike Ross: Grammy gave that to me.
Rachel Zane: Oh, I love it. Panda can come.
Mike Ross: And the chair.
Rachel Zane: Oh.
Mike Ross: That was Grammy's favorite chair.
Rachel Zane: I don't- I don't...
Mike Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I'm telling you, Rachel, she used to sit in that chair every Sunday and drink her hot cup of Hershey's cocoa and tell me all about growing up on the mean streets of Philadelphia.
Rachel Zane: When you lie, try less details.
Mike Ross: Got it.

"Suits: Exposure (#4.8)" (2014)
Donna Paulsen: Rachel, if you try to pull him towards you right now, all you're gonna do is push him away. Trust me. Let things be. They'll turn out the way they're supposed to.
Donna Paulsen: You don't know that.
Donna Paulsen: I do know that. Okay. Rachel, I'm gonna tell you something I've never told you... I slept with Harvey.
Rachel Zane: Oh, my God! But you told me that...
Donna Paulsen: I know what I told you. It was once, and I never would have done it if we were still working together. But then, he left the D. A. 's office, andit happened. And then, the next time I saw him, he wanted me to come with him to the firm, and I did, and that was that.
Rachel Zane: Would you have wanted a relationship with him?
Donna Paulsen: I would have wanted to try, but he wasn't ready. And if I had pushed him to be ready, I would be sitting here talking to somebody else about somebody I used to work with a long time ago.
Rachel Zane: What are you saying?
Donna Paulsen: I'm saying everything turned out the way it was supposed to.
Rachel Zane: But you said the reason that you two never - is because you can never go back.
Donna Paulsen: I lied.

"Suits: No Way Out (#3.16)" (2014)
Rachel Zane: I just wish there was something we could do.
Jessica Pearson: Rachel, if this thing moves forward to trial, I will do everything in my power to win. But there's two minutes left in the game, and our star players are on the field. So right now, we just have to have faith.
Rachel Zane: We?
Jessica Pearson: We. You're going to work here. We're going to be family. And the way to get to know your family is by being with them when their loved ones are in trouble.

"Suits: Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (#4.2)" (2014)
Rachel Zane: Saw you scheduled a meeting with Mike. I assume that means you're going to offer him a deal.
Harvey Specter: It could mean I'm going to offer him a trip to Disneyland.
Rachel Zane: But it doesn't.
Harvey Specter: Of course not, he'd probably want to wear mouse ears, and then nobody wins. You're welcome.