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Quotes for
Dan (Character)
from "Dan Vs." (2011)

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"Dan Vs.: Dan Vs. The Family Camping Trip (#1.19)" (2011)
Dan: Your probably wondering why I'm wearing face paint and attacking you with a plastic toy hatchet?
Chris: Oh, is it "Put on Face Paint and Attack Your Best Friend with a Hatchet Day" already?
Dan: That's not till January.

Elise: Okay, let's go. Dan, you are not invited on this camping trip, don't follow.
Dan: Your not the boss of me, lady. I go where I plea- Hey! Is that my car battery? I'LL PUT YOU ON THE LIST! I'LL PUT ALL OF YOU ON THE LIST!

Dan: I don't recognize that guy with, Chris.
Mr. Mumbles: Meow.
Dan: Heh, your right about that, Mr. Mumbles. Whoever he is he sure is dreamy.

Dan: He's not just dreamy, he's got the strength of ten men. And was it just me or were his eyes even more captivating close up? I think he won the fight because I got lost in them.

Dan: No chainsaw? Why doesn't anything ever go right for me?
Mr. Mumbles: Meeeowww.
Dan: Was that sarcasm, Mr. Mumbles?

Dan: Stupid Spider-man.

Cop: Every man I got is up in the tree with a sniper rifle itching to shoot a hole in the first hockey mask they see.
Dan: Heh, maybe not the best time to be dressed as the maniac.

Dan: Well, that was completely unpleasant.

Chris: Dan! Run!
Dan: Oh, thanks! Hadn't thought of that!


"Dan Vs.: Dan Vs. Technology (#1.13)" (2011)
Dan: Rainbows are nature's rainbows.

Clerk: Do you blog?
Dan: Do I what?


"Dan Vs.: Dan Vs. George Washington (#1.12)" (2011)
Dan: Tell me a story.
Elise: There was once a little prince who was so very angry...
Dan: Is his name Dan?


"Dan Vs.: Dan Vs. The Wolf-Man (#1.2)" (2011)
Dan: What took you so long?
Chris: Nice to see you too!
Dan: Stupid Wolf-Man, I'll get you!
Chris: There's no such thing as a Wolf-Man, Dan.
Dan: How could you be so naive? Look at the fur, look at the paw prints!
Chris: There's an animal shelter right there.
Dan: Look!
Chris: Those are sneaker prints.
Dan: Exactly!
Chris: Exactly what?
Dan: What wears shoes but also has paws? The Wolf-Man!
Chris: So you're saying that the Wolf-Man's a jogger.
Dan: He's an evil beast with an unsavory bloodlust! Of course he jogs!
Chris: If he's wearing shoes, what's with the paw prints?
Dan: Obviously, he runs like this!
Chris: He doesn't run like that in the movies.
Dan: This isn't the movies - THIS IS REAL LIFE! STOP LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD - THE WOLF-MAN SCRATCHED MY CAR, AND HE MUST PAY! NEXT MONTH!
Chris: Why next month?
Dan: Next full moon. Don't you watch movies?
Chris: So what are we doing today?
Dan: Nothing! Go home!