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Quotes for
Slap Maxwell (Character)
from "The Slap Maxwell Story" (1987)

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"The Slap Maxwell Story: Episode #1.22" (1988)
Judy Ralston: Hi, Slap.
Slap Maxwell: Judy. I thought you left town.
Judy Ralston: You almost got run over.
Slap Maxwell: You didn't leave town!
Judy Ralston: I did. I flew to Chicago. Then I flew to New York, then to Los Angeles, then back here.
Slap Maxwell: Beefing up those frequent flyer miules, is that it?
Judy Ralston: I saw Alien 3 times. It reminded me of you.
Slap Maxwell: So why did you come back?
Judy Ralston: Well, I did a lot of thinking, and I realized what we have is pretty good. You see, most relationships are destroyed by hopes that can never be fulfilled. But with you, there's no reason to hope. So I can never be disappointed. Plus, my Dad will probably kill you eventually. Or, you'll die or natural causes. Either way, I'll still be relatively young. And I've got frequent flying. I can get out of town anytime I want to.
Slap Maxwell: Tell me. Are you wearing-anything at all-under that raincoat?
Judy Ralston: No. That's what I couldn't understand.
Slap Maxwell: What's that?
Judy Ralston: All those airport alarms kept going off. What do you suppose that means?
Slap Maxwell: Let me tell you.