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Lauren Burkiss (Character)
from "Parks and Recreation" (2009)
Lauren Burkiss: Well my report is due tomorrow.
Ron Swanson: What's it on?
Lauren Burkiss: Why government matters.
Ron Swanson: Really?
Ron Swanson: [to camera] It's never too early to learn the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples... I'm going to need a different metaphor to give this 9 year old.
Ron Swanson: What's you name, ma'am?
Lauren Burkiss: Lauren Burkiss.
Ron Swanson: Lauren. My name is Ron Swanson, and I'm going to tell you everything you need to know about the miserable, screwed up world of local government.
Lauren Burkiss: You have mustard in your mustache.
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me, Burkiss. Let's get started. Life, liberty, and property. That's John Locke. This is your lunch.
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