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: This is the moment where you leave him and come with me. Jordana Bevan
: Is it? Oliver Tate
: Yeah, are you coming? Jordana Bevan
: My mum gave a handjob to a mystic.
: To us and a wonderful evening of love making.
: My mother is worried I have mental problems. I found a book about teenage paranoid delusions during a routine search of my parents' bedroom.
: Jordana and I enjoyed an atavistic, glorious fortnight of lovemakin'; humiliatin' teachers and bullying the weak. I have already turned these moments into the Super-8 footage of memory.
] We sat down to have what might have been Jordana's mother's last Christmas dinner, which i hope it wasn't because the turkey was a bit dry and the sprouts were soggy and out of focus.
: He wasn't even considered hard until the Watkin twins famously stabbed him in the back with compasses. He said nothing; showed no discomfort as his shirt blossomed with blood poppies. His stoicism reminded me of the brave men who died in the First World War.
: My Dear Americans, The film you are about to see is a biopic of my life. The events take place, not so long ago, in a proud land called Wales. Wales is next to England, a country you pretend to treat as an equal. My homeland has produced Catherine Zeta-Jones, Tom Jones and some other people. You have not yet invaded my country and for this I thank you. Submarine is an important film. Watch it with respect. Fond regards from your protagonist, Oliver Tate.
: Well, you know, I thought it would be nice to get some mutual interests... now that we've had sex... other than spitting and setting things on fire.
: Ask me how deep the ocean is. Jordana Bevan
: Shut up. Oliver Tate
: Come on, just ask me. Jordana Bevan
: Why? Oliver Tate
: 'Cause I know the answer. Jordana Bevan
: Oh! Do you? Oliver Tate
: Yes, I do. Jordana Bevan
: How deep is the ocean? Oliver Tate
: I'm not gonna say. Jordana Bevan
: I'm brokenhearted. Oliver Tate
: The ocean is six miles deep. Jordana Bevan
: So. How are things with Jordana? Oliver Tate
: Fine. Jill Tate
: You ever going to let us meet her? Oliver Tate
: I don't think so. Maybe if you get a terminal illness.
: Her new boyfriend has an incredibly long neck. Just thinking about giraffes makes me angry.
: Jordana hates any place that could be termed romantic. With this in mind, I took her to one of my favourite industrial estates, for some quality one-on-one time.