Kev Ball
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Quotes for
Kev Ball (Character)
from "Shameless" (2011)

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"Shameless: Episode #2.0" (2004)
Carl: [Carl is drunk and staggering around the kitchen having a go at everyone] Same goes for you.
Veronica: Me!
Carl: Yeah, you!
Veronica: Oh yeah.
Carl: I don't like your bathroom!
Veronica: [Veronica grabs carl by the chin] well stay out of it then smelly arse!
Kev: Aw, leave him alone he's tanked.
Ian: Who let him get like that?
Lip: [points to Veronica] She did.
Veronica: We're just celebrating the fact that you're not dead Ian!
[he had a bad case of food poisoning]
Lip: [hands a glass of milk to Carl] Come on Carl, drink this.
Carl: [to Kash] And you, you robbing bastard!
Ian: Carl, cut it out.
Carl: How much are your Twix meant to be?
Kash: 49p
Carl: So, how much are a quarter of midgie demmers meant to be?
Kash: 28p.
Carl: Yeah, so how much is it meant to come to then, you robbing bastard!
Ian: Carl, I'm warning you.
Kash: 77p!
Carl: No, it's not, it's 77!
Kash: Yeah! I said 77p!
Carl: Did ya, OK, sorry, sorry, Kash, I love your shop and your daughter is a stunner.
[Kash has a vision of Carl marrying his daughter and gets a look of horror on his face]

"Shameless: Episode #1.3" (2004)
Kev: [after a girl says she wants a a different guy for each letter of the alphabet] Zack, I think you're in here mate.

"Shameless: Casey Casden (#1.4)" (2011)
Fiona Gallagher: You know, for a guy who just got engaged, you don't seem very happy to be getting married.
Kev: It's 'cause I'm already married.

"Shameless: Episode #1.1" (2004)
Kev: [it's the early hours of the morning and Frank has turned the radio up full blast] Do you know what time it is?
Steve: Yeah, sorry Kev - it's Frank.
Kev: [Kev barges in] What have I told you?
Steve: Oi! Oi!
Frank Gallagher: Oh, here we go - neighbours of Satan.
Kev: The day you pay rent like some of us, Frank, you can play whatever shit you want, but until then if you're pumping it this time of night you play stuff that we like.

"Shameless: Episode #2.4" (2005)
Kev: [talking about places Steve and Fiona could go for their Honeymoon] I recommend Barbados.
Fiona Gallagher: Barbados! Where did you stay?
Kev: No, I've never been, I just recommend Barbados.
Veronica: In that case I recommend Palestine
[Kev and Fiona look at her confused]
Veronica: I don't mean Palestine do I? Where did Beverly go?
Fiona Gallagher: Dubai.
Veronica: Dubai!