Doc Bergman
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Quotes for
Doc Bergman (Character)
from "Hawaii Five-O" (1968)

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"Hawaii Five-0: Ike Maka (#2.9)" (2011)
Dr. Max Bergman: No wallet was found on the victim though. So I am attempting to -
[Notices Steve and Danny]
Dr. Max Bergman: How nice of you to arrive.
Steve McGarrett: Max, you - you okay? Something wrong?
Dr. Max Bergman: As I was saying, I'm attempting to get his fingerprints. But it seems all of his fingerprints have been sanded off. So we will have to find another way to identify him.

Dr. Max Bergman: Yes. I was able to recover a 9mm bullet from our victim's thorasic cavity, and send it over to ballistics.
Steve McGarrett: Okay, were they able to find a match?
Officer Lori Weston: ...Did they uh find a match, Max?
Dr. Max Bergman: Unfortuneately, the search for a match proved unsuccessful.

Officer Lori Weston: Great. Thanks, Max.
Steve McGarrett: Thanks Max.
Dr. Max Bergman: You're welcome, Agent Weston. Anything to help a friend.

Steve McGarrett: Max, I'm sorry we didn't respond to your invitation.
Dr. Max Bergman: [Offerins his arm to Lori] Lori.
Officer Lori Weston: [Lori laughs and takes Max's arm] Tell me about it, stud.

"Hawaii Five-0: Mea Makamae (#2.4)" (2011)
Danny 'Dan-o' Williams: Max, you need a hand?
Dr. Max Bergman: Thank you. But it is against protocol for anyone but the ME to handle the remains.
Danny 'Dan-o' Williams: NO, I don't want to help. There's actually a hand - right there
[Danny points to a hand to the side]
Danny 'Dan-o' Williams: If you want to - need a hand?
Dr. Max Bergman: Very humorous.

Joe White: You need a paperbag or something?
Dr. Max Bergman: Oh. I'm sorry. It's just - this place is like my Graceland.
Joe White: Okay. But no souveinirs.

"Hawaii Five-0: Ka Iwi Kapu (#2.7)" (2011)
Dr. Max Bergman: Well, I have some good news and... weird news. Take a look at this. See the marks under her right eye - fingerprint bruising.
Steve McGarrett: Okay, he grabbed her face.
Dr. Max Bergman: Exactly, and when he did he very kindly left a print.
[Max holds up a pair of glasses]
Dr. Max Bergman: A nice one on the right lens. I ran it through the system, and found a match. Man by the name of Greg Straithan.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Nice work, Max. I'm impressed.
Dr. Max Bergman: Now the weird news: our suspect, Greg Straithan... is dead.

"Hawaii Five-0: Ha'i'ole (#2.1)" (2011)
Chin Ho Kelly: Okay I'm driving.
Dr. Max Bergman: Actually I'm enjoying myself. Besides if I don't drive I get car sick.
Chin Ho Kelly: [Hangs his head] Fine, just don't get pulled over!

"Hawaii Five-0: Ne Me'e Laua Na Paio (#1.19)" (2011)
Steve McGarrett: [At the scene of the victim dressed up as a super hero] Alright, let me guess. This guy thought he could fly.
Dr. Max Bergman: Ah. A common misconception. Although Captain Fallout dons a cape, he is not capable of actual flight. Merely super human leaping abilities.
Steve McGarrett: Max. Who's Captain Fallout?
Dr. Max Bergman: The fearless leader of the Wonder Seven.
[At Steve and Danny's blank looks, he explains]
Dr. Max Bergman: He acquired his powers when he was attacked by one of Hitler's radioactive German shepherds during the Battle of the Bulge.
[Steve and Danny still show no recognition]
Dr. Max Bergman: Huh? Wow. You guys need to brush up on your classics.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: No, no, no. We don't need to brush up on anything. You need to bring us all back to reality, here on Earth, and answer the obvious question of why this took a dive wearing tights.

"Hawaii Five-0: Lekio (#2.18)" (2012)
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Okay. First of all, please slow down.
[Steve is driving Danny's car at speed with Max in the back seat]
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Okay? We don't even know which way they went.
Steve McGarrett: This road is the only way out of the marina.
[He swerves in and out of traffic]
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Easy. Please. Easy, Speed Racer, huh?
Dr. Max Bergman: Actually, this vehicle was engineered to be driven in this manner.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Could you stop, Max? You're not helping!

"Hawaii Five-0: Kanalua (#3.2)" (2012)
Dr. Max Bergman: Gentlemen.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Peg Leg.
Dr. Max Bergman: A peg leg is a prosthesis often made of wood and portrayed in pirate movies. A cane, such as the one I'm using is a mobility aid. And ballistic trauma is not something to be making fun of, Detective Williams.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: I knew I should have just said hello.

"Hawaii Five-0: Lapa'au (#2.8)" (2011)
Dr. Max Bergman: I would like a shrimp-flavored tofu special, please.
Kamekona: Only thing special about that order, no one but *you* orders it.

"Hawaii Five-0: Kame'e (#2.3)" (2011)
Dr. Max Bergman: Do you have any extenuating evidence that might suggest that this might not be a suicide?
Steve McGarrett: No.
Dr. Max Bergman: Okay, well, then I'm going to need a little bit more than that in order to reopen the case. Considering that my *boss*, the Senior Medical Examiner was the one who performed the autopsy. There is an unwritten rule that you don't mess with the boss's toe tags.

"Hawaii Five-0: Wahine'inoloa (#3.8)" (2012)
Kono Kalakaua: So he was shot, burned and hit by a car. This guy's having a great day.
Maui PD Lieutenant Kala: We got metal detectors out in the field and picked up a 9 mm shell casing.
Dr. Max Bergman: But that's not all.
Kono Kalakaua: Please don't tell me he was poisoned or stabbed.

"Hawaii Five-0: Nalowale (#1.5)" (2010)
Steve McGarrett: You could have told this on the phone.
M.E. Max Bergman: I don't trust phones.

"Hawaii Five-0: Ka Hakaka Maika'i (#2.6)" (2011)
Dr. Max Bergman: So his opponent, it says in his statistics here that he's 21-8 with 13 TKOs. What's a TKO?
Chin Ho: It means that 13 of his opponents were unable to continue fighting him.
Dr. Max Bergman: So that's a good thing then.
Kamekona: Not for McGarrett.