Tina Belcher
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Tina Belcher (Character)
from "Bob's Burgers" (2011)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Bob's Burgers: Full Bars (#3.2)" (2012)
Tina: Last year I was a mummy. This year I'm a mommy mummy. I'm raising a child and going to a four-year college, all on my own.

Louise: Full bars? Full bars! FULL BARS? She just gave us Full-Sized Chocolate Bars! Does she know? Oh my god! Was it an accident?
Gene: I hope this doesn't put a strain on our economy.
Tina: Everything I know to be true just went out the window.

Louise: Must be a golf country club.
Tina: Looks like a miniature golf course.
Gene: The windmill must be enormous!

Louise: [about a girl's cell phone] This thing is like a remote control for teenage boys.
Gene: Make them touch butts!
Tina: Give them ridiculous French accents.

Tina: [watching boys go skinny-dipping] There's a lot of carrots in that stew.

"Bob's Burgers: Bad Tina (#2.8)" (2012)
Gene: [about Tina's erotic friends fiction] You should do one with the janitor and the principal. Their babies would be beautiful.
Tina: I did, and they're not.

Tina: Detention is no big deal, Mom. Don't have a crap attack.
[Dramatic music]
Linda: What did you just say?
Tina: A crap attack? Don't have one?
[Dramatic music]
Linda: Don't tell me not to have a crap attack! I'll have a crap attack anytime I want, now go to your room!
Tina: This is such a snoregasm.

Tammy: [about Tina's toy horse] I used to have one of these. I cut off its mane.
Tina: That sounds cool. I'll do that too.
[Whispers to horse]
Tina: No, I won't.

Tina: Please don't tell mom and dad.
Louise: Oh, we won't. But it'll cost ya.
Gene: Ten thousand dollars!
Louise: Or, you do all our chores for a month.
Gene: Ooh, even better!

Linda: We need to go over some ground rules for tonight Miss Mouthy: no boys, no partying, no summoning spirits or switching bodies, and no filling the house with soap bubbles. You hear me, Tina?
Tina: Yes, I wear glasses, not hearing aids, Mom.
Louise: Ho!
Linda: Well, I don't wear a hearing aid either, so I didn't hear that.
Louise: Haw!

"Bob's Burgers: Sacred Couch (#6.9)" (2016)
Louise Belcher: It smells like all the food we ate waged a war against all our butts.
Tina Belcher: [sniffs] I'm getting mostly dad.

Tina Belcher: I want something with adult content, but I'll settle for mature situations.

Tina Belcher: High chairs. That's the life.
Gene Belcher: Why would anyone want to sit in a low chair? Every chair should have safety restraints and bears on them.

Tina Belcher: Why'd you do it, Louise?
Gene Belcher: You played God, and our couch wasn't even religious.

Teddy: Good news! Someone took the couch!
Bob Belcher, Tina Belcher, Gene Belcher, Linda Belcher, Louise Belcher: Noo!
Teddy: You guys react weird to good news.
Gene Belcher: Yeees!

"Bob's Burgers: The Deepening (#3.6)" (2012)
Teddy: Look, there's me again! In the red and blue shorts.
[everyone stares at Teddy]
Teddy: What's everyone staring at?
Gene Belcher: Nothing.
Louise Belcher: Nothing.
Tina Belcher: Your body.

Tina Belcher: I know how the shark thinks. It's confused. It doesn't know why we want to kill it. It just wants to go home.
Bob Belcher: Tina, it's a mechanical shark. It's dumber than our toaster.
Tina Belcher: Our toaster is also confused. It doesn't know where bagels go.

Bob Belcher: It's eating its way into our basement!
Tina Belcher: Can we keep it?

Mr. Fischoeder: How about the Scare-rousel? A carrousel in which you ride real horse corpses.
Tina Belcher: You had me at horses, but then you lost me at corpses.

Tina Belcher: I'm torn. Dad raised me, but the shark gets me.
Louise Belcher: If the shark eats dad, does that make it our new boss?
Gene Belcher: Shark boss! Ungh-ungh-ungh-ungh!

"Bob's Burgers: It Snakes a Village (#3.18)" (2013)
Tina: How do you know a python ate it? Did it leave a note?

Louise: Gene, stop it. You're spooking Tina.
Tina: I'm not spooked. What's the next thing after spooked? I'm that.

Tina: Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life.
Gene: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not impressed.

Tina: [after Helen's dog Mitzi runs away again] I guess she doesn't like wearing clothes.
Gene: With that body, I wouldn't either.

Gene: I've never peed in an olympic-sized swimming pool. I'm not sure I can go for the gold.
Tina: Don't worry. With all your practicing, you'll be all right.

"Bob's Burgers: Lobsterfest (#1.12)" (2011)
Linda: You kids stay down in the basement.
Tina: I already designated a corner for our bathroom. Right there, where I went.
Gene: And I designated that corner there. We have two bathrooms.

Tina: I don't know. Eating lobster? It goes against everything we were taught to believe.
Louise: It's not against everything, but it's start.

Tina: I think he's having an allergic reaction. We should do something.
Louise: Let's sit on him and see if he pops.

Tina: I'm compiling a list of people I can mate with to repopulate the Earth.
Gene: Here, let me see that. Gay, gay, mythical creature, gay mythical creature, in your dreams...

"Bob's Burgers: Two for Tina (#3.17)" (2013)
Linda: Get all those things out of your head.
Tina: Okay.
Louise: [whispers] Leather belts.
Gene: [whispers] Sausage.
Louise: [whispers] Sausage leather belts.
Gene: [whispers] That's a great idea.

Louise: Tina, Jimmy Jr. just hired us to trick you into going to the dance with him.
Tina: He did? That's the sleaziest, sneakiest, most romantic thing anyone's ever done to me.
Louise: That's great. Can we use it for our website?
Gene: And can you make us a website?

Tina: Jimmy Jr. had a chance to ride the Tina truck, but now it's headed straight for Joshville. Toot-toot.

Tina: We can make this work. We can work out a dating wheel, just like a chore wheel. Let's put the try in triangle.

"Bob's Burgers: Turkey in a Can (#4.5)" (2013)
Tina Belcher: Mum, I need your opinion on something
Linda Belcher: Oooh I love it, Brave Heart meets Coco Chanel
Tina Belcher: I need to decide which colour I'm wearing when I sit at the adults table on Thursday

Tina Belcher: There's something in the toilet and I sat on it and it was cold and now I don't know if I will ever be able to go to the bathroom again!

Tina Belcher: A turkey in every toilet, only in America, huh guys?

Tina Belcher: Why does Dad think I'm a turkey?
Gene Belcher: Your cocky strut!

"Bob's Burgers: Dr. Yap (#2.6)" (2012)
Tina: Dr. Yap is dreamy. When he's looking at my molars, it's like he's looking into my soul.

Dr. Yap: Welcome to the Yap Trap.
Tina: You caught me.

Tina: Dr. Yap, once I was into you, but after seeing you torture my father, I think we should just be friends with dental benefits.

Tina: I'm giving Dr. Yap a subscription to Highlights. He really loves that magazine.
Gene: I'm gonna give him some laughing gas from my private tank.
Louise: I'm gonna give him my business from all this jawbreaking.

"Bob's Burgers: The Belchies (#2.1)" (2012)
Tina: Dear Diary: Tonight I'm sneaking off to the abandoned taffy factory to look for treasure. Also, if boys had uteruses, they'd be called duderuses.

Tina: Brr, it sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket, or his pants.
[Gene throws his pants on Tina's head]
Tina: Ow.
Gene: Wash 'em before you return 'em.

Bob: I don't hear Louise! Where's Louise?
Gene: She ditched us, and then she ditched us some more!
Tina: The second time hurt the most.

"Bob's Burgers: Sheesh! Cab, Bob? (#1.6)" (2011)
Tina: You won't regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it'll be like we're all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball.
Gene: I go first!
Louise: Really?
Gene: If I have to kiss him, I don't want to go after you guys.
Linda: I can go last. I don't mind.
Bob: We are not kissing Jimmy Jr!
Gene: [slams fists on table] Yes, we are!

Tina: Dad, you're the best pimp a girl could ever have.
Bob: Oh, Tina. I've been waiting all my life to hear those words.

Tina: I just kissed my first boy.
Mort: Me too.
Marbles: Oh, boo-hoo.

"Bob's Burgers: Beefsquatch (#2.9)" (2012)
Louise: [as Gene pees on the kitchen sink] Ugh, Gene! That's my spot!
Gene: That's funny, it smells like my spot.
Gene: Asparagus.
Tina: I've been using the toilet like an idiot.

Tina: What happened to your mask?
Louise: Did you throw it in a volcano?
Gene: Nah, I gave it back to Peter Pescadero. I promised I'd pop-and-lock him into a better life, and I didn't deliver.
Louise: Another child left behind.

Louise: Last one is is Tina!
[She and Gene jump into the pool]
Tina: Hey!... Oh.

"Bob's Burgers: Synchronized Swimming (#2.3)" (2012)
Louise: We're out of PE for the rest of the year, my friend.
Gene: Yeah! Who needs it?
[Gene tries to opens the door but can't]
Tina: Here, let me try.
[Tina opens the door easily]
Gene: Huh. I should exercise.

Louise: Now we'll have to take summer school.
Bob: Summer school?
Louise: Yeah. What's next? Summer church? Summer dentist?
Gene: Summer visit to grandma?
Tina: Summer camp? Wait, I'd go there.

Tina: Marco!
Gene: Wahlberg!

"Bob's Burgers: The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene (#3.8)" (2012)
Gene: Remember that fart I took last night?
Louise: You'll have to be more specific.
Gene: Perhaps this will refresh your memory.
[Plays fart sound on keyboard]
Tina: Oh, yeah.
Gene: [Plays Yankee Doodle on keyboard] I taught my fart to be patriotic. It's Stinky Doodle Dandy!

Tina: I wonder who Gene's crush is?
Louise: Oh, puberty, puberty, puberty! That's all I hear from you two!
Tina: But we're his sisters. What if we disapprove of her?
Louise: Oh, judging people. Well, when you put it that way...

Louise: Take a chill pill, Courtney.
[other girls gasp]
Courtney: It's okay. I will take a chill pill, but it's because I have a congenital heart condition.
Tina: I had shingles.
Louise: I have a thing on my leg.
Courtney: Those aren't congenital.
[Bell rings]
Gene: Class started. Let's get our congenitals to class.

"Bob's Burgers: Art Crawl (#1.8)" (2011)
Louise: So you want to be real artists. It's okay. I can sell that angle. But you two have to go all the way. One of you has to lose an ear!
Tina: I need both ears to hold up my glasses.
Louise: What about you? What's your excuse?
Gene: Don't have one. Have at it!

Gene: Is dad going to jail?
Tina: I'll wave at you every day.
Louise: Word of advice: don't tell them what you're in for.
Gene: I hope our new dad is blond.

Louise: I've been honest with these two ever since Gene got too fat.
Gene: I remember the ice-cream sandwich that did it too. I regret nothing!
Louise: And Tina, you have bad breath.
Tina: Not if you're a fish.

"Bob's Burgers: Food Truckin' (#2.5)" (2012)
Louise: I see a sandwich truck.
Gene: Where?
Louise: At four o'clock.
Gene: Four o'clock? I'm hungry now!
Tina: Are they regular or ice-cream?
Louise: Both.
Gene, Tina: Whoa!
Louise: All right, keep it in your pants.

Tina: I don't want to die a virgin?
Randy: Me neither!
Tina: Hey, that gives me an idea.
Bob: No! No!

Gene: It's that documentarian who hates dad and puts wigs on cows.
Tina: Werner Herzog?

"Bob's Burgers: Lindapendent Woman (#3.14)" (2013)
Tina Belcher: There's someone behind the milk. Maybe it's the dairy fairy.
Louise Belcher: Or maybe it's a stalker following our every move with his dead eyes.
Tina Belcher: Hi.

Tina Belcher: I need to find a boy with a turtle bite on his finger.
Gene Belcher: Doesn't every woman?

"Bob's Burgers: Ambergris (#4.18)" (2014)
Tina Belcher: Remember that weird lump we found at the beach?
Gene Belcher: My name's Gene!
Tina Belcher: No, I mean the one that smelled funny.
Louise Belcher: His name is Gene!

Tina Belcher: Did you sleep at all last night, Louise?
Louise Belcher: Sleep? Soon I'll have people to do my sleeping for me!

"Bob's Burgers: Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks (#3.7)" (2012)
Tina: This is all wrong, I'm going to jail! Or hell! Or hell-jail!
[Fantasy sequence: Tina is in hell-jail waiting in line at the cafeteria]
Tina: What's for lunch today?
Jail-Hell Lunch Lady: Your lies!
Tina: NOOOOOO! That's what we had yesterday!

Tina: You're right. I'm a firestarter and a jinx. I'm going to destroy this whole family.
Gene: You're the reason I'm fat!

"Bob's Burgers: Adventures in Chinchilla-sitting (#5.15)" (2015)
Linda Belcher: Tina, you'll be babysitting tonight, right?
Tina Belcher: Yeah, about that. I have been talking to some girls at school, and they tell me that you can get paid to babysit.
Bob Belcher: Oh, boy, she's onto us. Alright, let the negotiations begin. How much?
Tina Belcher: One thousand dollars plus parking.
Bob Belcher: How about three dollars an hour?
Tina Belcher: Okay, deal.
Gene Belcher: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Three dollars every hour?
Louise Belcher: We get a cut of that, right?
Tina Belcher: Sure.
Bob Belcher: Fine, but be in bed at ten or no one gets a dime.
Tina Belcher: Of course. We can go to bed in our sleep.

Tina Belcher: Hey, there's Jonas. Hi, Jonas.
Jonas: Hey, there... you.
Tina Belcher: Oh, good. I thought you wouldn't remember me.

"Bob's Burgers: Torpedo (#1.13)" (2011)
Tina: I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball.
Louise: That's how they communicate, Tina. It's like Braille, but with butts.
Gene: Read my butt!

Tina: Mr. Fischoeder owns the team?
Bob: And the park and all of Wonder Wharf.
Louise: I'm gonna marry that man.
Bob: No, you're not.
Louise: I wanna be rich!

"Bob's Burgers: Christmas in the Car (#4.8)" (2013)
Bob Belcher: Lin, you want to drive an hour away and get another tree? What about our Christmas Eve Dinner? I have a ham in the oven
Tina Belcher: You have to fart?
Bob Belcher: No Tina, a real ham is currently in our oven

Louise Belcher: Step on it Dad, we have a date with a fat old man
Tina Belcher: We are chubby chasers
Bob Belcher: Tina, thats, don't say that, it's not nice to say

"Bob's Burgers: Sexy Dance Fighting (#1.4)" (2011)
Gene: They're bringing back the tambourine.
Tina: It's a pandero. It's a Brazilian instrument.
Gene: That's a tambourine. I'm getting mine. These guys don't know how to shake it.

Bob: I can't go because I have to take care of the restaurant. You don't abandon the restaurant for some fancy dancing
Tina: If I were a hamburger you'd come and watch!
Linda: See what you've done, Bob? Come on, kids. Let's go to Tina's karate concert.

"Bob's Burgers: Weekend at Mort's (#1.11)" (2011)
Louise: [Holding a spoon full of mold] Gene, if you eat this, I'll give you...
[Gene eats it]
Tina: Whoa!
Gene: Mmmm. Gorgonzola.

Louise: Babysitting doesn't come from here.
[Points at Tina's head]
Louise: It comes from here.
[Points at Tina's heart]
Tina: My boob?
Louise: [sigh] Yes, your boob. What is your boob telling you?
Tina: I don't know.
Louise: [Throws voice] Explore the morgue.
Tina: Explore the morgue?
Louise: Yes!

"Bob's Burgers: The Kids Run the Restaurant (#3.20)" (2013)
Louise: The kids are running the restaurant, and this time it's personal!
Gene: I'm gonna personally run it into the ground!
Tina: Wait, why is it personal?
Louise: Shut it!

Tina: I think gambling is illegal.
Louise: Not if no one sees you doing it.
Tina: No, I think it's still illegal.
Louise: Not if no one finds out.
Tina: No, it's still...
Louise: We're doing it!

"Bob's Burgers: Bob Fires the Kids (#3.3)" (2012)
Bob: Kids, your mother and I have an important announcement.
[Linda vocalizes fanfare]
Gene: You're having another baby?
Louise: At your age? Sick!
Tina: I thought I saw a baby bump.
Linda: What? No, I was just retaining gas.

Mr. Fischoeder: Hello, there, Belcher child. Does your father know you're doing this?
Tina: No. He thinks we're out having summertime fun.
Mr. Fischoeder: Good. Good.
Mr. Fischoeder, Tina: Let's keep it that way.

"Bob's Burgers: Bob Day Afternoon (#2.2)" (2012)
Sergeant Bosco: Yeah, I'm sorry about the pizzas. What d'you want instead? Chinese?
Bob: Burgers?
Sergeant Bosco: Mexican?
Bob: This is a burger place.
Louise: What about hot pockets?
Bob: Burgers are right here.
Tina: Or low fat frozen yogurt.
Bob: We're in a restaurant, my restaurant.
Gene: Ooh, how about some sort of Malaysian cuisine?
Bob: Burgers.
Sergeant Bosco: How about, uh... burgers.

"Bob's Burgers: Mazel-Tina (#4.13)" (2014)
Tina Belcher: I need fresh faces, and fresh butts.

"Bob's Burgers: The Land Ship (#6.2)" (2015)
Tina Belcher: Wait, I got it, I can paint over it! I just need a bunch of white paint... now... in the middle of the night... when paint stores aren't usually open...
[trails off]
Gene Belcher: Wait a minute! You say paint: I say 'taint... no problem with that because I know there's some in the basement!
Gene Belcher: TA-DAA! Paint... and Spackle!
[yanks up a tarp]
Tina Belcher: [Gasps] How did you know about this Gene?
Gene Belcher: Let's just say I thought this tarp was a tent and I thought that spackle was marshmallow fluff; and I was right... in a way...

"Bob's Burgers: The Equestranauts (#4.17)" (2014)
Tina Belcher: [Realizes she gave Bob some of her fan fiction by mistake] Oh no! What is this doing here? It's noncanonical!
Louise Belcher: What?
Gene Belcher: I think she's trying to say nautical.
Tina Belcher: Noncanonical! Noncanonical!
Louise Belcher: She's going crazy.
Gene Belcher: We have to put her down!

"Bob's Burgers: My Big Fat Greek Bob (#4.4)" (2013)
Gene Belcher: They can live with US!
Tina Belcher: Dibs on Turd!

"Bob's Burgers: O.T.: The Outside Toilet (#3.15)" (2013)
Gene Belcher: A coffee shop! They might have outlets in there!
Tina Belcher: And people writing screenplays.

"Bob's Burgers: Spaghetti Western and Meatballs (#1.9)" (2011)
Bob: Mr. Frond. He's a tall glass of... annoying.
Tina: Well, you're gonna have to drink that glass, mister.

"Bob's Burgers: Bed & Breakfast (#1.7)" (2011)
Tina: Do horses get songs stuck in their heads?

"Bob's Burgers: Slumber Party (#4.9)" (2014)
Tina Belcher: Gene, is this your first time as a human shield?
Gene Belcher: Yeah
Tina Belcher: It's my third time. You're doing great.

"Bob's Burgers: The Kids Rob a Train (#4.15)" (2014)
Tina Belcher: You chose chocolate. It's what bandana would have wanted.

"Bob's Burgers: Bob and Deliver (#4.7)" (2013)
Tina Belcher: How am I doing on dish washing Mr Belcher?
Bob Belcher: Good Tina, of course kids are licking the plates clean so it's kinda easy right?
Tina Belcher: No

"Bob's Burgers: The Runway Club (#5.16)" (2015)
Tammy: Hey, Tina. How about a little side bet? Winner gets to wear their sparkle jelly bracelet, loser has to throw theirs in the trash.
Tina Belcher: You have a deal.
Tammy: We have a deal like Ally McBeal.
Tina Belcher: We have a deal like Steven Spiel... berg.

"Bob's Burgers: Boyz 4 Now (#3.21)" (2013)
Tina: I'm no hero. I just put my bra on one boob at a time.

"Bob's Burgers: Mutiny on the Windbreaker (#3.4)" (2012)
Tina Belcher: How was the puppet show.
Gene Belcher: It was good. I felt like I needed to pee the whole time. But I didn't.

"Bob's Burgers: Hawk & Chick (#5.20)" (2015)
Tina Belcher: We gotta make this samaright.

"Bob's Burgers: Topsy (#3.16)" (2013)
Louise: Now I have to look up stuff in the library, like I didn't want to! Argh!
Gene: Yeah, argh!
Tina: Argh!... Wait, I like the library.

"Bob's Burgers: Mother Daughter Laser Razor (#3.10)" (2013)
Tina Belcher: Dad, I need you to drop everything and shave my legs.
Gene Belcher: I'll get started on the first part.
[Drops the dishes he was carrying]
Bob Belcher: Gene!
Gene Belcher: I'm only trying to help!

"Bob's Burgers: Burgerboss (#2.4)" (2012)
Mother: Um, how do you know Kevin?
Louise Belcher: Church.
Tina Belcher: Soccer.
Gene Belcher: Desert Storm.

"Bob's Burgers: Dawn of the Peck (#5.4)" (2014)
Tina Belcher: The Final Peckoning!

"Bob's Burgers: Crawl Space (#1.2)" (2011)
Mr. Frond: Three siblings in detention in two days. Is something happening at home?
Tina: Dad is stuck inside the wall.
Mr. Frond: Is that how he died?
Tina: Dad isn't dead.
Louise: Thanks a lot, Mr. Frond. We were keeping it a secret from her. We were going to tell her on Father's Day. Now we have nothing to do for Father's Day!

"Bob's Burgers: Human Flesh (#1.1)" (2011)
Bob Belcher: Tina you're on the grill.
Tina Belcher: My crotch is itchy.
[Gene and Louise groan in disgust]
Bob Belcher: Okay, are you telling me as my daughter, or as my grill cook?
Tina Belcher: Um, as...
Bob Belcher: Because my grill cook would never tell me that.
Tina Belcher: Oh.
Bob Belcher: Also, my daughter should probably not say anything like that to me. Tell her, tell your mom.

"Bob's Burgers: The Quirkducers (#7.6)" (2016)
Louise Belcher: How you doing girl?
Tina Belcher: Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea.

"Bob's Burgers: Moody Foodie (#2.7)" (2012)
Mr. Fischoeder: Bob won't go out of business because of a bad review. You're like a tumor with long teeth and hair.
Bob: I'm a tumor with teeth?
Tina: Sounds cute.