Kelly Bailey
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Quotes for
Kelly Bailey (Character)
from "Misfits" (2009)

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"Misfits: Episode #1.1" (2009)
Kelly Bailey: What if there's loads of people like us all over town?
Nathan Young: No, that kind of thing only happens in America. This will fade away. I'm telling you, by this time next week, it'll be back to the same old boring shit.

Nathan Young: I mean, I was there, right? I should have one of these bullshit powers.
Kelly Bailey: You can have mine. Wanna hear what people are thinking about you?
Nathan Young: Not so much, no. I want something good, you know, something from the A-list.

Kelly Bailey: [in thick East Midlands accent] Ehm, wot makes ya thin' that yer better than ozz?
Nathan Young: What is *that* accent?
Curtis Donovan: Is that for real?
Kelly Bailey: Wot, you tryin' to say soomfin 'ou' it, then, yah?
Nathan Young: It's a - are you - that's just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?

Kelly Bailey: What did you do?
Nathan Young: Me? I was done for eating some pick n' mix.

Kelly Bailey: You know after the storm, did any of you lot feel like dead weird?
Nathan Young: Yeah. I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.

"Misfits: Episode #1.6" (2009)
Nathan: [Discussing a plan for dealing with the Virtue group] Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon: Who's Barry?
Nathan: You are.
Kelly: His name is Simon.
Nathan: Is it? I thought it was Barry.

Nathan Young: Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon Bellamy: Who's Barry?
Nathan Young: You are.
Kelly Bailey: His name is Simon.
Nathan Young: I thought it was Barry. Sorry, man.

Nathan Young: Come on, Barry. You're good at this stuff. Think of something.
Simon Bellamy: Who's Barry?
Nathan Young: You are.
Kelly Bailey: His name is Simon.
Nathan Young: Is it? I thought it was Barry.

Kelly: Is that a sock? Ugh its crusty!
Nathan: Ahh don't put it on my pizza!
Kelly: Why are you sleeping with a crusty sock in ya bed?
Nathan: Alright, yes. It's my wank sock.
Kelly: Oh no. Use some tissue!
Nathan: Ah that requires planning man, who's that organised?
Kelly: Oh don't use a sock.
Nathan: Look, you've just knocked one out right? Poom-byo! You're lying there, you're feeling cheap and deflated, theres a pool of rapidly cooling spunk on your stomach. You're looking for something to mop up with. Oh hello, whats this? It's a sock. Job done, thank you.
Kelly: Maybe thats your power!
Nathan: I am very good at it?

Kelly: What about your friends?
Nathan: I believe thats generally referred to as a pedophile ring
Simon: I'm not a pedophile
Nathan: Oh yeah? You'd screw your own sister for a slice of cheese
Simon: I dont even like cheese
Nathan: That makes it even worse you sick bastard

"Misfits: Episode #2.1" (2010)
Kelly: So if you're not dead, how come you smell so bad?
Nathan: I appear to have shat myself.

Nathan: I'm no good at this serious girl stuff, feelings and shit. I fancy you!
Kelly: Fanks

Nathan: Yeah so my mum opens the door and she's like 'Ahhhhh' & I'm like 'I'm Immortal!' & then fanted, face plants on the radiator. There's blood and teeth everywhere.
Kelly: Is she alright?
Nathan: Yeah, she's fine. Apart from the whole... face.

Simon Bellamy: We should set up a password, then we can say it to each other so we know it's us.
Nathan: Monkeyslut!
Alisha: We're not having Monkeyslut as a password.
Nathan: What are the chances of that being used in a normal conversation? Kinda low, no?
Kelly: Awww, just go with it... Monkeyslut!
Nathan: [pumps fist] Yeeeaahhhh!

"Misfits: Christmas Special (#2.7)" (2010)
Kelly Bailey: It's not Jesus, it's some dickhead with a few superpowers.

[to Simon]
Nathan Young: How did it all go right for you, huh? You ended up with a cool flat, beautiful girlfriend.
Kelly Bailey: I think it's dead romantic, I do.
[Simon smiles]
Nathan Young: I think I liked it better when you suffered from a crippling shyness.

Curtis Donovan: One of your followers killed my girlfriend.
Simon Bellamy: You're exploiting the fulnerable.
Kelly Bailey: You taking money of people,
Alisha Bailey: Sexually assaulting Girls
Elliot: Hey, that's the catholic church for you.
Curtis Donovan: Hey, he's got a point. When I was growing up in Ireland, if the priests weren't fiddling with you, you were one of the ugly kids.

"Misfits: Episode #2.4" (2010)
Tim: Is it true?
Simon Bellamy: Is what true?
Tim: You know what I'm talking about.
[Curtis and Nathan exchange puzzled glances]
Tim: Don't play games with me, Conti.
Kelly Bailey: [angrily] Awww, he talks this bollocks all the time!
Tim: Fat Tony says you got an undercover cop in your organization.
Nathan Young: See, that's why I don't play computer games, cause they never bloody end!

Kelly Bailey: That's what happens when blokes spend all their time playing computer games, and wanking over porn on the internet!

"Misfits: Episode #1.5" (2009)
Kelly Bailey: They graffiti, and we clean it up. They graffiti, and we clean it up. They graffiti, and we clean it up. What is that about?

Kelly Bailey: Do I look like I'm some kind of fookin' knob? Do I?

"Misfits: Episode #3.1" (2011)
Rudy Wade: What are you doing?
Kelly Bailey: Design a new propulsion system.
Rudy Wade: Why?
Kelly Bailey: Because I'm a fucking rocket scientist!

Alisha Daniels: Why do we always have to get involved? Can't we just do normal stuff that normal people do, like... go for brunch?
Kelly Bailey: What the fuck is brunch?

"Misfits: Episode #2.5" (2010)
Nathan Young: See it must be physically impossible. Cause if men could suck themselves off, then the female of the species would be surplus to requirements.
Kelly Bailey: This is why people kill you.

"Misfits: Episode #1.3" (2009)
Nathan Young: You alright?
Kelly Bailey: What?
Nathan Young: You're usually a whole lot gobbier than this.
Kelly Bailey: No, I'm not.
Nathan Young: Come on, you haven't punched me in a few hours. I'm worried about you.