Teddy Duncan
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Quotes for
Teddy Duncan (Character)
from "Good Luck Charlie" (2010)

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"Good Luck Charlie: Kit and Kaboodle (#1.12)" (2010)
Teddy Duncan: Hey Charlie, check this out. Here's something nobody has ever seen before. Gabe is brushing his hair.
Gabe Duncan: Do you have to videotape everything we do? This isn't a reality show!
Teddy Duncan: Oh, I know it's not reality because he took a shower without being asked!

Teddy Duncan: You know what I think? I think you like someone.
Gabe Duncan: So what if I do? It's no big deal.
Teddy Duncan: What, are you kidding? Your first crush is a huge deal.
Gabe Duncan: Look, she's a girl, I'm a guy. These things happen every day.
Teddy Duncan: Not to you.
Gabe Duncan: [Giddy] I know! Can you believe it?

Mrs. Estelle Dabney: I'm going out of town for a couple of days and I was wondering if you'd be kind enough to look after my cat, Kaboodle.
Teddy Duncan: Oh... I don't know. I'm awfully busy.
Mrs. Estelle Dabney: I'll pay you $20 a day.
Teddy Duncan: Oh, my schedule just opened up.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney: I can trust you, right?
Teddy Duncan: Of course.
Mrs. Estelle Dabney: You do seem to be the least disturbed of all the Duncan kids.
Teddy Duncan: What an almost sweet thing to say.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney: You need to know that Kaboodle is the most important thing in the world to me.
Teddy Duncan: How's Mr Dabney doing?
Mrs. Estelle Dabney: Like I said, love that Kaboodle.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney: Virginia brings her cat Stanley over. What a ridiculous name for a cat.
Teddy Duncan: Kaboodle!
Mrs. Estelle Dabney: Stanley!

Mrs. Estelle Dabney: But so my little Kaboodie won't make a scene, you need to distract him.
Teddy Duncan: [In baby voice to Kaboodle] Should I pretend to be a mouse?
Mrs. Estelle Dabney: Yes.
Teddy Duncan: I was joking.
Mrs. Estelle Dabney: I wasn't.

Amy Duncan: [Sees Teddy imitating a mouse to Kaboodle] Teddy, honey, did you lose something?
Teddy Duncan: Only my dignity.

Teddy Duncan: Mrs. Dabney, why are you back here?
Virginia Dabney: Oh, I'm not Estelle. I'm her sister, Virginia.
Teddy Duncan: Wow! You really look like Mrs. Dabney.
Virginia Dabney: Except for my laugh lines. Estelle doesn't have any of those!

Virginia Dabney: Oh, you look like a nice little boy. Would you like some candy?
Gabe Duncan: Only if you eat one first.
Virginia Dabney: You're as cute as the dickies!
Teddy Duncan: OK, this is dang freaky!

Teddy Duncan: [about Kaboodle] Do you think he's sick?
Virginia Dabney: You'd better hope not. I'd hate to be in your shoes if something happened to my sister's baby.
Teddy Duncan: What, y... it's not my fault. She'd understand that, right?
Virginia Dabney: [Sarcastically] Oh, yeah. She's very understanding.

Teddy Duncan: Come on, Kaboodle. Perk up.
Virginia Dabney: This does not look good.
Teddy Duncan: Oh, I know what'll cheer you up! Mr. Mouse, right?
[Imitates mouse]
Virginia Dabney: This does not look good either.

Teddy Duncan: You know, I didn't know veterinarians made house calls.
Dr. Tish Tushy: Oh, they don't. I'm a therapist.
Teddy Duncan: Uh, a therapist for cats?
Dr. Tish Tushy: And birds. But never at the same time. You only make that mistake once.

Teddy Duncan: So... w-what's wrong with Kaboodle?
Dr. Tish Tushy: Well, his aura is off, his chakras are out of line... how's his poop?
Teddy Duncan: Fine. How's... yours?
Dr. Tish Tushy: Well, that's a little personal! But since you asked, super good and getting better!

Teddy Duncan: Maybe we should get back to the cat, Dr. Tushy.
Dr. Tish Tushy: It's Tuh-shy.
Teddy Duncan: Tushy.
Dr. Tish Tushy: Uh-uh. Tuh-shy.
Teddy Duncan: Tushy?
Dr. Tish Tushy: Tuh-shy. Tuh-shy. Tuh-shy.
Teddy Duncan: Do you have a first name?
Dr. Tish Tushy: Tish.

Dr. Tish Tushy: [Dr. Tushy tells Teddy to heal Kaboodle by touching him and sending him loving thoughts] Do you have a thought?
Teddy Duncan: Ooh, I'm having a few of them!

Gabe Duncan: I have a probl... what are you doing?
Teddy Duncan: [Carrying Kaboodle on a harness] Readjusting Kaboodle's aura. Duh!

Teddy Duncan: What's wrong?
Gabe Duncan: The girl I like is here with her mom.
Teddy Duncan: What's wrong with that?
Gabe Duncan: Well, I told her mom and dad were divorced and that I'm an only child. What am I gonna do?
Teddy Duncan: OK, the first thing you're gonna do is calm down. Your negative energy is upsetting the cat.

Teddy Duncan: Hi, I'm Teddy the housekeeper, see?
Dana: Hi, I'm Dana. This is Kit.
Kit: Why are you wearing a cat?
Teddy Duncan: Er... because in my country, we have a saying: "The house looks its best when a cat's... on your chest".
Dana: W-what country is that?
Teddy Duncan: Canada.

Teddy Duncan: Well, Charlie, the good news is Kaboodle's fine. Turns out all he needed was a trip to the litterbox. But, erm... the bad news is Gabe's romance with Kit is over.
Gabe Duncan: Well, the good news is I don't have to shower any more.


"Good Luck Charlie: Driving Mrs. Dabney (#1.26)" (2011)
Teddy Duncan: Dad, you promised you'd take me driving today.
Bob Duncan: To be fair, I promise a lot of things I don't deliver on.

Teddy Duncan: Mom, dad says I can't get my license.
Amy Duncan: What? Why not?
Bob Duncan: Because she's not ready.
Teddy Duncan: Well, my driving instructor thinks I am. He says I'm doing great.
Bob Duncan: The man works for the public schools! He's got nothing to live for!

Teddy Duncan: Mom, can you say something?
Amy Duncan: Teddy, honey, I'm sorry, but your father has a very small area of authority... and unfortunately for you, teaching you kids to drive is part of it.
Bob Duncan: So what else is in that area?
Amy Duncan: Barbecuing. That's it.

PJ Duncan: I have a friend who's turning 16 and I have to buy her a birthday present.
Teddy Duncan: Mmm... well, I know your friend wouldn't want a sock puppet.
PJ Duncan: OK. Well, what would she want?
Teddy Duncan: Well, um, she'd probably like boots. Like, like that cool store at the mall? But not the black ones with the purple trim. She already has those.

Teddy Duncan: Oh, hi Mrs Dabney.
Mrs. Dabney: I see you people have a dog now.
Teddy Duncan: [Thinking it's an insult] Oh, I'm doing fine, thanks. How are you?
Mrs. Dabney: Let me explain something to you. Your dog makes my cat nervous. And whne my cat gets nervous, I get nervous. And when I get nervous, Mr Dabney gets nervous.
Teddy Duncan: Then what happens?
Mrs. Dabney: Mr Dabney goes to stay with his mother... so this dog thing is not entirely bad. All right! We're done here!

Teddy Duncan: Oh, uh, Mrs Dabney. Before you go, um, I need some more practice hours before I take my driver's test, so if you ever need a chauffeur, I'm your girl.
Mrs. Dabney: [Whips out her keys] Let's go.
Teddy Duncan: [pause] Right now?
Mrs. Dabney: I've got a bunch of errands to run. And if you drive, I can play Word Jumble on my cell phone. Actually, I do that anyway, but this way it's legal.

Mrs. Dabney: Light's not getting any greener.
Teddy Duncan: No, I, I know. But the car in front of me hasn't moved yet.
Mrs. Dabney: Here's a quick driving lesson.
[Honks horn]
Mrs. Dabney: Wake up, grandpa!
Teddy Duncan: [to the other driver] Sorry! That was her, not me!
[to Mrs. Dabney, after being flipped the bird]
Teddy Duncan: Oh, look! Grandpa's telling us we're number one!
Mrs. Dabney: No, he's not! He's...
Teddy Duncan: I know what he's doing!

Teddy Duncan: We should probably stop for gas.
Mrs. Dabney: In this car, you can drive 100 miles on empty. I'll tell you when we need gas.
[about an hour later, the car breaks down in the mountains]
Mrs. Dabney: *Now* we need gas!

Teddy Duncan: Does any of this look familiar?
Mrs. Dabney: Looks like the same road we drove down ten minutes ago.
Teddy Duncan: What, so I'm just going in circles and you didn't want to say anything?
Mrs. Dabney: I thought my annoyed silence was speaking volumes.

Teddy Duncan: [Filming video for Charlie] Big news is I got my drivers' licence, which means I now have total freedom to go wherever I want.
Amy Duncan: Teddy, I need you to pick up some things at the store.
Bob Duncan: And while you're out, the car needs gas.
PJ Duncan: And pick up Gabe, just 'cause I don't want to.


"Good Luck Charlie: Charlie Did It! (#1.6)" (2010)
Amy Duncan: [Grounding Gabe] No TV, no computer, no video games for the rest of the day.
Teddy Duncan: I think that's fair.
Amy Duncan: And you're watching him.
Teddy Duncan: That's so unfair!

Amy Duncan: And what did I tell you about lying?
Teddy Duncan: It only works on dad.

Teddy Duncan: [At the grocery store] Soda and mints? What are these for?
Gabe Duncan: I'm gonna make a soda geyser. You drop them into the bottle and it makes this huge explosion!
Teddy Duncan: Wow! That sounds so cool. Put them back.

Hugo: [to his employee after Charlie inadvertently 'steals' a pair of sunglasses] Tell Alice to call the police.
Teddy Duncan: What? The police? You're arresting a baby?
Hugo: Or a very small person. We don't have all the facts yet.

Teddy Duncan: Where have I heard that before?
Alice: Heard what?
Teddy Duncan: The
[wheezes]
Alice: In French class.
Teddy Duncan: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! You're Alice Wheezeheimer.
Alice: It's Wartheimer.
Teddy Duncan: It is? Are you sure?
Alice: Is that what people call me behind my back? Wheezeheimer?
Teddy Duncan: [pauses] No, not at all. Nobody calls you Wheezeheimer. Or Wheezy.

Teddy Duncan: [about Hugo] The guy's treating you like a doormat.
Alice: And that's bad?
Teddy Duncan: Yes. OK, you have to stand up and say: 'You can't mess with me! I'm Alice Wheezeheimer!'
Alice: Wartheimer!
Teddy Duncan: That's the fire I'm looking for, Wheezy - I mean, Warty!

Teddy Duncan: Gabe, we gotta get out of here.
Gabe Duncan: Really? You're giving me permission to be bad?
Teddy Duncan: Yes.
Gabe Duncan: How bad?
Teddy Duncan: Do whatever it takes.
Gabe Duncan: I've been waiting to hear those words my whole life!


"Good Luck Charlie: Charlie Goes Viral (#1.15)" (2010)
PJ Duncan: Hey, you guys wanna see something funny?
Teddy Duncan: If this is where you lift your shirt up and make your belly button sing, no thank you.

Amy Duncan: Ooh, what are you having?
Teddy Duncan: Toast points with salmon and dill.
Bob Duncan: Toast points? I say, what's the points?

Bob Duncan: You can't go over there tomorrow night. The Channel 8 news crew is coming over. They're gonna interview the whole family.
Teddy Duncan: Yeah, I think I'll pass
Amy Duncan: What? You don't wanna be on TV with me?
Bob Duncan, PJ Duncan, Gabe Duncan: US!
Amy Duncan: Us?

Paul: Speaking of families, Teddy, when are we gonna get to meet yours?
Teddy Duncan: Um... well, they're kind of busy, so maybe next summer. Or the one after that.

Linda: [after seeing the Duncan family embarrass themselves on TV] But Teddy, you're nothing like those people. You're poised and sophisticated and...
Teddy Duncan: [Burps loudly]


"Good Luck Charlie: Baby Come Back (#1.2)" (2010)
Teddy: [Teddy is making a home video meant for Charlie] Now what I'm about to show you, is kind of disturbing. So brace yourself.
[Teddy opens the kitchen door to reveal her parents talking baby talk, despite Charlie's absence]
Amy: Mmmm. These sammitches will be yummy-wummy.
Bob: Yes they will, yes they will.
Teddy: Mom and Dad have been talking like that ever since you arrived, and if it's not over soon, I'm gonna go cwazy-wazy.

[Teddy sends her parents out on a date]
Teddy: Alright, so you guys have fun, stay out as late as you want. But not too much fun. We have enough kids already.


"Good Luck Charlie: Study Date (#1.1)" (2010)
Teddy Duncan: Mom, don't take this the wrong way, but why did you guys have to have another baby?
Amy Duncan: Well, because... three kids was just too easy. Three's for quitters!

Teddy Duncan: I have a study date.
Casey Duncan: Don't you mean 'studly' date?
[Mocks Teddy by making kissing faces]
Teddy Duncan: Ugh! Save them for your pillow!


"Good Luck Charlie: All Fall Down (#3.21)" (2013)
Charlie Duncan: Why are you so sad?
Teddy Duncan: Oh, um... Because we're saying goodbye, Charlie, and that's a very hard thing to do.
Charlie Duncan: Then say hello.

Gabe Duncan: I finally get my own room, and now we have to move out.
Bob Duncan: It's just for a couple of nights. We're gonna get the house checked out, make sure everything's safe...
Teddy Duncan: Take care of the termite problem...
Bob Duncan: Thought that was implied... And then we're gonna move back in and everything's gonna be back to normal.
Amy Duncan: What do you mean, normal? PJ dropped out of college.
PJ Duncan: Teddy went to Boston!
Teddy Duncan: Dad brought termites into the house!
Bob Duncan: Well, Gabe...
[pauses]
Bob Duncan: What did you do?
Gabe Duncan: Nothing. As usual, I'm the good one.


Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas! (2011) (TV)
Amy Duncan: Do they seem a little weird to you?
Teddy Duncan: Yeah. Almost as weird as you eating a napkin for dessert.


"Good Luck Charlie: Charlie Shakes It Up (#2.13)" (2011)
Amy Duncan: Remember when I tried out for that cable show, So You Think You Can Yodel?
Teddy Duncan: Mm-hmm, and they decided you couldn't.


"Good Luck Charlie: Teddy's Little Helper (#1.13)" (2010)
Ivy Wentz: Teddy, get with it. Kids don't read anymore. You're so old school.
Teddy Duncan: And if you don't read your book, you're gonna be old and still going to school!


"Good Luck Charlie: Up a Tree (#1.9)" (2010)
Bob Duncan: That's it! I'm bringing out the big guns. That's right... Mom!
PJ Duncan: We're not scared of you!
PJ Duncan: This is bad.
Teddy Duncan: Lock 'er up.