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Quotes for
Sam (Character)
from "Exes & Ohs" (2007)

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"Exes & Ohs: Love, Money, and a Six Olive Martini (#1.4)" (2007)
Sam: Mom, I'm very happy being a bartender.
Sam's Mother: Well, at one time you were very happy being straight.
[beat]
Sam's Mother: and then Jennifer came along.

Jennifer: You parents didn't like the house?
Sam: They didn't like you.
Jennifer: What? They loved me!
Sam: I think they think you turned me gay.
Jennifer: Turned you gay? You were sleeping with girls, before I was even kissing boys.
Sam: Yeah, but you're the first girl I ever introduced them to.

Sam: [about Jennifer's questions if she should start a relationship with her boss] People mix business and pleasure all the time. Take the girl AND the money... Of course if you hadn't turned me gay, I wouldn't be telling you to take the girl at all.

Charles, Sam's Father: We do love Jennifer. We didn't mean anything by it.
[beat]
Charles, Sam's Father: Come on, Sam. Don't be so sensitive.
Sam: I'm not being sensitive, Dad. People don't just turn gay.
Charles, Sam's Father: You weren't gay until college. In high school you had one boyfriend after the other.
Sam: I also had girlfriends, that I never told you about.
Charles, Sam's Father: Well, I've always been supportive of your lifestyle choices.
Sam: It's not a lifestyle. And it's not a choice. Being single is a choice. Being gay isn't. It's who I am.
[beat]
Sam: Maybe someday I'll settle down, but I'm never gonna be straight, and I'm fine with that. I love who I am. I am happy for me... I just wish that you were, too.
Charles, Sam's Father: I am.
Sam: No, I don't think you are.


"Exes & Ohs: Cutthroat (#1.3)" (2007)
Jennifer: [Sam enters Jennifer's apartment] I'm working, Sam.
Sam: You're pissed that Charlie went for me, instead of you. Okay, I get it. I warned you that your heart was still fragile.
Jennifer: This is not about me.
Sam: Well, you're the one that who wanted to make this a competition.
Jennifer: Yeah, but then you and your tied up shirt, and you showing yourself off - you kept going, even after she insulted me. Do you have to conquer every girl, no matter what?
Sam: Are you calling me a slut?
Jennifer: Am I saying slut?
Sam: No, worse. You're thinking it.
Jennifer: I was not thinking you were a slut. You were thinking that I was thinking you were a slut-...
Sam: [raises her voice] Okay, what would make me not a slut, Jen? Not having sex for thirteen months?
Jennifer: Just because I haven't slept with anyone since Sienna-...
Sam: And just because I slept with two whole people the last week... Look, being able to have sex without becoming emotionally involved, isn't a bad thing.
Jennifer: Yeah, as long as your needs are being met, to hell with what anyone else feels.
Sam: So, this isn't just about that Charlie-thing anymore, now is it?
[beat]
Sam: Look, you and I did not break up because of some dumb-ass drunken make-out session at a college party. And Sienna she left you a long time ago before we caught in that steam room with Emily.
Jennifer: [raises her voice] Wait, and somehow this is my fault? She and I-...
Sam: Because you so hate conflict!
Jennifer: Am I having some of it now, aren't I?
Sam: [louder] Oh yeah, you're good, aren't ya? 8 years later. It's about time that yo-...
Jennifer: [louder] You were perfectly fine and willing to let it go, as long as you don't have to confront the fact, that you've actually hurt someone!
Sam: Instead of dealing with things as they come up, which might actually start - OH MY GOD - an argument, you lie to yourself, Jen. And you tell yourself that everything is just fine!
Jennifer: Tell me how, I should've known everything was not fine, when you and I were making plans to get an apartment together after college!
Sam: Oh my -
[yelling]
Sam: Well, I wasn't ready to marry you!
Jennifer: [yelling] I wasn't asking!
[beat]
Jennifer: But what if where were headed felt too much of an commitment for you, you should've said something.
Sam: [quiet] I tried
[starts to leave]
Jennifer: [beat] Yeah, by shoving your tongue down Kacey Black's throat.

Jennifer: [after an argument about who's third to bowl. Jennifer is about to bowl] You were never third.
Sam: Just bowl...
[Jennifer starts to throw]
Sam: ... said the slut.

Jennifer: [about their previous argument] Maybe I should loosen up... Thirteen months is a long time.
Sam: You don't have to be me, Jennifer.
Jennifer: No, but a bit tougher would be good.
[beat]
Jennifer: Your heart doesn't break after one date.
Sam: [laughing] Nope.
[a beat, serious now]
Sam: My heart's only broken once.