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Quotes for
Space (Character)
from "Dead Set" (2008)

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"Dead Set: Episode #1.5" (2008)
Kelly: How you doing?
Space: Not bad... pretty much surrounded then?
Kelly: Yeah...
Space: What about... Veronica and Marky?
Kelly: No... this makes you... the winner... of this year's Big Brother...

Space: Joplin, you fucking Judas!
Joplin: I'm really sorry, okay?
Patrick: Alright, Desmond Tutu! It's not the fucking garden! Get in the fucking van!

Kelly: There's been enough killing.
Veronica: Well, what d'you propose we do?
Kelly: Cripple him.
Veronica: Cripple him?
Kelly: Yeah, break his ankles, stick a hammer to his feet.
Marky: It would have to be pretty bad to stop him movin'...
Kelly: Yeah, well we'll do it bad enough he won't be going anywhere...
Pippa: I don't like it...
Kelly: Well, it's better than killing him?
Riq: Look, she's right...
Marky: What'd you think, babe?
Veronica: Pretty hard to break an ankle so it don't set back right, innit? You gotta... crack it sideways, inwards...
Kelly: Fine...
Marky: Or we could chop his Achilles tendon in the back of the heel... turns the feet into dead plates, even if he wanted to use 'em, he won't be able to operate the pedal...
Space: Where'd you learn that from, man?
Marky: Saw Jack Bauer do it on the telly.
Veronica: No! S'not real life, is it? No! If we're doin' this, we're smashin' his ankles like in that film... Mystery.

Patrick: Right, thanks to Popeye the Sailor Man 'ere, the van is *still* our best bet. Right, I have prepped the bait, so, fucking vamoose, chop chop, let's go!
Space: You're *not* in charge!
Kelly: Yeah, yeah... em... we're not going anywhere...
Patrick: Look, if that *Mary*'s made it, there's gonna be other survivors, okay?

Veronica: Soon as any of us turns our backs, he is gonna be tryin' to get out them gates and fuck us all over!
Space: So we keep him tied up...
Veronica: For how long? He says it's bad outside, yeah? And we might be in here for keeps, yeah?
[Riq nods]
Veronica: Well, Looney Tunes isn't gonna stay tied up for keeps, is he? He'll get out somehow... he won't give up 'til he's got them gates opened and then it is game over for all of us!
Marky: Yeah... that's true...
Kelly: What are you trying to suggest? Why don't you just fucking come out and say it?
Veronica: Alright... alright... there ain't much room for debate, Kelly, it's extreme circumstances, innit?


"Dead Set: Episode #1.4" (2008)
Patrick: It's like a loser's convention in here! Proud of yourselves?
Kelly: Want another fag, Patrick?
Patrick: Oddly enough, I don't, Kathy...
Kelly: Kelly...
Patrick: Yeah, whatever... we need an escape plan.
Space: Like we haven't thought of that.
Patrick: [sarcastically] Think of it as a Task, if that helps... c'mon! We should hit the road!
Space: We can't get to the road no more.
Patrick: You haven't fucking tried!
Kelly: Patrick, I agree with you, Patrick? I agree with you, I do. But there's no way through those gates, I mean, you've seen them...
Patrick: We've got the keys to our van! So we'll just drive, we'll drive away!
Space: You can't just drive past, alright? They're not gonna step aside like some fuckin' chambermaids!
Patrick: Well... just... well... we'll distract them! We'll distract them! We'll bait them away! Okay? We'll bait them away from the gates long enough and then we'll drive straight through!
Space: With what? A ball of string?
Patrick: Well, look, they eat flesh, don't they? Right? That's what they eat...
[points to Grayson's corpse]
Patrick: we'll give 'em some! There's a man-sized portion of Pedigree Chum laying right there!
Space: Fuck up!
Patrick: No! We'll chop him up!
[Pippa and Veronica scream in shock and disgust]
Patrick: We'll chop him up! We'll chop the best bits to the fucking ghoulies, they'll run after that, "munch, munch, thank you very much!", we'll drive straight through!
Veronica: You're *not* doing that!
Patrick: I didn't say it was gonna be a gentile parlour game, ya titted fuckin' idiot! But it is WORTH A PISSING SHOT!

Kelly: Everyone, this is Patrick...
Joplin: Hi, Patrick...
[Patrick ignores them and begins to greedily chew a roll]
Patrick: Fuckin' starvin'!
Kelly: Patrick, it's gotta last...
Patrick: You've got a bio-dome! Go grow some fuckin' courgettes or something!
[Space lights up a cigarette]
Patrick: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Not in 'ere! I'm tryin' to give up!
Joplin: He won't listen...
Patrick: Take it outside you dirty bastard!
Space: What?
Patrick: [to Joplin] Pass me that peanut butter!
Joplin: What's the magic word?
Patrick: [snatches the jar and throws its lid at him] Fuck off!

[as Kelly and Space walk down the hallway Patrick and Pippa had just escaped from, they are both startled by a cardboard cutout of Brian Belo]
Space: Don't worry about it, it's just Brian...
[the real, zombified Brian Belo immediately leaps out from behind the cutout and lunges at Space, but Kelly shoots him in the head]
Kelly: Fuck, it is Brian!

Kelly: Patrick... is that you?
Patrick: Yeah, yeah... it's me! Ummm... uh...
Kelly: Kelly!
Patrick: Kelly, that's it! Listen, we are trapped in the gallery!
Kelly: "We"? Who're you with? Are you okay?
Pippa: Hello, Space!
Space: Pippa? Pippa!
Pippa: I was stuck in a room and he done a poo and it *stank*!
Patrick: What the fuck... is wrong with you?


"Dead Set: Episode #1.1" (2008)
Marky: So did they give you a specific instruction or have you been told to just come in here and act weird?
Kelly: I'm not acting. I work here.
Marky: What as? A window cleaner?
[most of the housemates laugh]
Kelly: Something's happening... some sort of outbreak...
Marky: Oh, here we go...
Space: Just let her talk!
Marky: Alright!
Kelly: People get this thing... and...
Grayson: Thing?
Kelly: They wanna kill you and... they change...
Marky: And then their bums fall off?
Space: What'd you mean they "change"?
Kelly: I dunno... they're... dead...
Grayson: Dead?

Space: Something is wrong!
Veronica: What?
Space: No mics, no alarms and the cameras ain't movin'. Big Brother ain't watchin' *us*!

Space: They're goin' batshit out there...
Joplin: Yeah. That's the public for you though, innit? They're animals.


"Dead Set: Episode #1.2" (2008)
Kelly: Give us a fag.
Space: Short supply.
Kelly: You've got 60 stashed under your bed.
Space: Yeah, well... I was savin' 'em for a special occasion.
Kelly: Merry fucking Christmas.

Marky: It's gotta be some terrorist bollocks... they've released some... loony gas...
Space: Loony gas...?
Marky: You got a better explanation?
Joplin: The government or army must have tested something they shouldn't!
Veronica: What, like... GM foods or somink?
Joplin: Maybe... or WiFi... God knows what that does to your molecules!
Veronica: Does this mean we're not on telly anymore?

Kelly: Give us a fag.
Space: Short on supply.
Kelly: You've got 60 stashed under your bed.
Space: Yeah, well I'm saving them for a special occasion.
Kelly: Merry fucking Christmas.


"Dead Set: Episode #1.3" (2008)
Veronica: [Looking at Zombie Angel in the pool] Quite stupid, ain't they?
Space: Not the brightest bunch... can't even get out the side...
Marky: Don't know they're dead...
Joplin: Good old British public...
Kelly: Yeah... you're right... you're all right; they're thick as shit. So as long as we're still breathing, we're smarter than them. And that's why we're gonna beat 'em.
[Kelly shoots the zombie Angel in the head]

Dennis: [Shoots Bob after he is bitten by a Zombie] I had to do that! There's nothing else you can do for a bite! You die, you come back as one of them! That's how it works and it works fucking fast!
Space: Alright! Just put that thing down!
Dennis: If you lot hadn't been pissing around in the first place! The advice was to stay indoors! Or don't you watch telly?

Bob: Have you got somewhere to hole up?
Space: Where'd you think?
Bob: What? The Big Brother house? 'Ere, is that... um... Veronica still there?
Space: Yeah.
Bob: Oi, mate... she is *well* fit...