Erica Albright
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Quotes for
Erica Albright (Character)
from The Social Network (2010)

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The Social Network (2010)
Erica Albright: You called me a bitch on the Internet, Mark.
Mark Zuckerberg: That's why I wanted to talk to you.
Erica Albright: On the Internet.
Mark Zuckerberg: That's why I came over.
Erica Albright: Comparing women to farm animals.
Mark Zuckerberg: I didn't end up doing that.
Erica Albright: It didn't stop you from writing it. As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared. The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink. And you published that Erica Albright was a bitch, right before you made some ignorant crack about my family's name, my bra size, and then rated women based on their hotness.
Reggie: Erica, is there a problem?
Erica Albright: [Turning to talk to Reggie] No, there's no problem.
Erica Albright: [Turning back to face Mark] You write your snide bullshit from a dark room because that's what the angry do nowadays. I was nice to you, don't torture me for it.
Mark Zuckerberg: If we could just go somewhere for a minute.
Erica Albright: I don't want to be rude to my friends.
Mark Zuckerberg: Okay.
Erica Albright: Okay.
[pauses for a moment]
Erica Albright: Good luck with your video-game.

Erica Albright: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.

Erica Albright: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.
Mark Zuckerberg: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even.
Erica Albright: I think we should just be friends.
Mark Zuckerberg: I don't want friends.
Erica Albright: I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.

Mark Zuckerberg: I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.
Erica Albright: Why?
Mark Zuckerberg: Because they're exclusive. And fun. And they lead to a better life.
Erica Albright: Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix club.
Mark Zuckerberg: He was a member of the Porcelain, and yes he did.

[first lines]
Mark Zuckerberg: Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?
Erica Albright: That can't possibly be true.
Mark Zuckerberg: It is.
Erica Albright: What would account for that?
Mark Zuckerberg: Well first, an awful lot of people live in China. But, here's my question: how do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SATs?
Erica Albright: I didn't know they take SATs in China.
Mark Zuckerberg: They don't. I wasn't talking about China anymore, I was talking about me.

Erica Albright: You know, from a woman's perspective, sometimes not singing in an a cappella group is a good thing.
Mark Zuckerberg: This is serious.
Erica Albright: On the other hand, I do like guys who row crew.
Mark Zuckerberg: Well, I can't do that.
Erica Albright: I was kidding!
Mark Zuckerberg: Yes, I got nothing wrong on the test.
Erica Albright: Have you ever tried?
Mark Zuckerberg: I'm trying right now.
Erica Albright: To row crew?
Mark Zuckerberg: To get into a Final Club. To row crew? No, are you like, whatever, delusional?
Erica Albright: Maybe, it's just sometimes you say two things at once, I'm not sure which one I'm supposed to be aiming at.
Mark Zuckerberg: But you've seen guys who row crew right?
Erica Albright: [thinking for a moment] No.
Mark Zuckerberg: Okay, well, they're bigger than me. They're world class athletes. And a second ago you said that you like guys who row crew so I assumed you had met one.
Erica Albright: I guess I just meant I like the idea of it. You know, the way a girl likes cowboys.

Erica Albright: Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman?
Mark Zuckerberg: So you can see why it's so important to get in.
Erica Albright: Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into?
Mark Zuckerberg: [pauses, taken aback] Why would you ask me that?
Erica Albright: I was just asking.
Mark Zuckerberg: None of them. That's the point. My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer, and Eduardo won't come close to getting in. The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.

Erica Albright: Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be.
Mark Zuckerberg: Did you really just say that?
Erica Albright: I was kidding. Although just because something's trite doesn't make it any less true.
Mark Zuckerberg: I want to try to be straightforward with you and tell you I think you might want to be a little more supportive. If I get in I will be taking you to the events, and the gatherings, and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet.
Erica Albright: [Erica stares at Mark for a moment, then smiles] You would do that for me?
Mark Zuckerberg: [Shrugs] We're dating.
Erica Albright: Okay. Well I want to be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore.
Mark Zuckerberg: What do you mean?
Erica Albright: We're not dating anymore, I'm sorry.
Mark Zuckerberg: Is this a joke?
Erica Albright: No, it's not.
Mark Zuckerberg: You're breaking up with me?
Erica Albright: You're going to introduce me to people I wouldn't normally have the chance to to meet? What the f... what is that supposed to mean?
Mark Zuckerberg: Wait. Settle down...
Erica Albright: What is it supposed to mean?
Mark Zuckerberg: Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is because you used to sleep with the door guy.
Erica Albright: The door guy? His name is Bobby. I have not slept with the door guy. The door guy is a friend of mine, and he is a perfectly good class of people. And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon?

Erica Albright: I'm going back to my dorm.
Mark Zuckerberg: Wait, wait! Is this real?
Erica Albright: Yes!
Mark Zuckerberg: Okay, then wait. I apologize, okay?
Erica Albright: I have to go study.
Mark Zuckerberg: Erica...
Erica Albright: [Harsh and angry] Yes?
Mark Zuckerberg: I'm sorry, I mean it.
Erica Albright: I appreciate that, but I have to go study.
Mark Zuckerberg: Come on, you don't have to study, you don't have to study, let's just talk.
Erica Albright: I can't.
Mark Zuckerberg: Why?
Erica Albright: Because it is exhausting! Dating you is like dating a StairMaster!
Mark Zuckerberg: All I meant is that you're not likely to... currently. I wasn't making a comment on your appearance, I was saying that you go to BU. I was stating a fact, that's all. And if it seemed rude, than of course I apologize.
Erica Albright: I have to go study.
Mark Zuckerberg: You don't have to study.
Erica Albright: [Exasperated and angry] Why do you keep saying I don't have to study?
Mark Zuckerberg: Because you go to BU!
Erica Albright: [Erica stares at him, furious]
Mark Zuckerberg: Do you want to get some food?

Erica Albright: The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink.