Danny Partridge
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Quotes for
Danny Partridge (Character)
from "The Partridge Family" (1970)

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"The Partridge Family: What? and Get Out of Show Business? (#1.1)" (1970)
Danny: I'm worried about you Mom. You're too old to be working.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [smiles] Thank you Danny. You just made my day.

Reuben Kincaid: You members of some flaky religious group?
Danny: No, sir, I'm here to represent the Partridges.
Reuben Kincaid: The *birds*?
Danny: The family!

Tracy Partridge: [Referring to the blind fold on Ruben's face] Why are you wearing the Lone Ranger's mask?
Danny: Tracy, will you let ME do the talking.

Tracy Partridge: [after Ruben hung up, on Danny while playing the demo from the tape recorder] What did he say?
Danny: He said, if we don't stop bothering him he could send, a man over with an axe to chop us up into little pieces.
Tracy Partridge: Ooh! Do you think he means it?
Danny: No, I'm pretty sure he's bluffing.
Tracy Partridge: I hope so.

Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [the Family is backstage, about to make their debut in Las Vegas. Shirley is having stage fright]
[Through clenched teeth]
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I'm having trouble moving my mouth.
Danny: Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: How can I sing if I can't move my mouth?
Keith: Just fake it, ok?
[Shirley suddenly bends over and clutches her knees]
Keith: Why are you feeling your knees?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I think they're locked.
Danny: Good. That'll stop you from falling if you pass out.
Laurie Partridge: Don't worry Mom, we'll all be here to help you.
Christopher "Chris" Partridge #1: Sure, you don't have to worry about a thing!
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Aren't you kids nervous at all?
Laurie Partridge: No.
Danny: Why should we be nervous? We're terrific!
Club Manager: All right, places everyone. We're ready to go!
Keith: [as they quickly take their places] You're gonna be wonderful, honest, Mom.
Laurie Partridge: This is the big time. You'll be great, you'll be fantastic, nothing to worry about.
Danny: Relax, Mom, but just remember our whole future depends on these next few minutes.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [groans] Ohhhhhhhhh...

Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [the Family is backstage, about to make their debut in Las Vegas. Shirley is having stage fright. Through clenched teeth:] I'm having trouble moving my mouth.
Danny: Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: How can I sing if I can't move my mouth?
Keith: Just fake it, ok?
Keith: [Shirley suddenly bends over and clutches her knees] Why are you feeling your knees?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I think they're locked.
Danny: Good. That'll stop you from falling if you pass out.
Laurie Partridge: Don't worry Mom, we'll all be here to help you.
Christopher "Chris" Partridge #1: Sure, you don't have to worry about a thing!
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Aren't you kids nervous at all?
Laurie Partridge: No.
Danny: Why should we be nervous? We're terrific!
Club Manager: All right, places everyone. We're ready to go!
Keith: [as they quickly take their places] You're gonna be wonderful, honest, Mom.
Laurie Partridge: This is the big time. You'll be great, you'll be fantastic, nothing to worry about.
Danny: Relax, Mom, but just remember our whole future depends on these next few minutes.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [groans] Ohhhhhhhhh...


"The Partridge Family: Waiting for Bolero (#2.17)" (1972)
Laurie Partridge: Bolero! On your first date?
Keith: I happen to like Bolero.
Danny: What's Bolero?
Laurie Partridge: You know about the birds and the bees, don't you?
Danny: Of course!
Laurie Partridge: Well, they got the idea from listening to Bolero.

Laurie Partridge: ...When are you going to learn to respect Keith's privacy?
Danny: As soon as he gets a window shade.


"The Partridge Family: The Undergraduate (#2.4)" (1971)
Christopher "Chris" Partridge #2: [Shirley tells kids she and her date got home late because she ran out of gas] I don't get it, what's so funny about running out of gas.
Danny: You know about the birds and the bees?
Christopher "Chris" Partridge #2: Kind of.
Danny: Birds and bees run out of gas.

Danny: I wonder if your going to college is such a good idea.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I don't think a little psychology course is going to take up that much time.
Danny: Well, campuses are a hotbed of radicals. I'm afraid you're going to get mixed up in some kind of protest march.
Laurie Partridge: I thought you had to be over 30 to be that establishment.
Keith: Maybe it's inches instead of years.


"The Partridge Family: Keith and Lauriebelle (#4.19)" (1974)
Keith: This whole thing is your fault! You and your dumb ideas!
Danny: Anyone can come up with a dumb idea, but it takes a real numbskull to listen to it

Keith: ...This whole thing is your fault! You and your dumb ideas!
Danny: Anyone can come up with a dumb idea, but it takes a real numbskull to listen to it.


"The Partridge Family: Promise Her Anything, But Give Her a Punch (#2.21)" (1972)
Keith: Hi. Why does everybody look so glum?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Keith. I'm afraid you have a big problem.
Keith: Oh, I do?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Mm hmm. Little Gloria Hickey's in love with you.
Keith: Is this a put-on?
Laurie Partridge: Oh, afraid not, brother.
Laurie Partridge: She's gonna ask you to the sixth grade dance.
Keith: Poor Danny, does he know?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: No, and I don't want him to know. It would break his heart.
Keith: What am I gonna do, I...
Danny: Laurie, Mom, Mr. Kincaid. To Keith: HOME WRECKER!
[He kicks him in the shin and runs]
Keith: Ow! I think he knows!

Reuben Kincaid: ...Danny, if there's anything you want to know about handling women, you want to get it from a real pro.
Danny: Yeah, but I already asked Keith. He was no help.
Reuben Kincaid: I was talking about myself.
Danny: Mr. Kincaid, I know you're trying to cheer me up by making me laugh. Bless you.


"The Partridge Family: The Partridge Papers (#2.22)" (1972)
Danny: In case you haven't heard, there are two words that are never used in the Partridge Family vocabulary: brotherly love.
Laurie Partridge: However, there are two words more commonly used.
Danny: Yes?
Keith: Get even.


"The Partridge Family: The Sound of Money (#1.2)" (1970)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I've decided to join you kids. We're going to fight Whiplash Willie.
Danny Partridge: Yeah! We're gonna fight! We're gonna win!
Reuben Kincaid: Strange. That's exactly what General Custer said.


"The Partridge Family: Old Scrapmouth (#1.16)" (1971)
Danny: The Rolling Stones don't make personal appearances in a person's mouth.


"The Partridge Family: Whatever Happened to Keith Partridge? (#3.11)" (1972)
Keith Douglas Partridge: [Rehearsing lines from the script] Momma, give me one good reason why I shouldn't get him.
Danny Partridge: Because he's got a bigga, bigga gun!
Reuben Kincaid: W-w-wait a minute! Hold it! Where's that line in the script?
Danny Partridge: It's not in the script. I was improvising.
Reuben Kincaid: You, were improvising. If I improvised what I'm thinking, I'd get arrested for child beating.


"The Partridge Family: Love at First Slight (#1.6)" (1970)
Tracy Partridge: ...I like you, Mr. Kincaid.
Reuben Kincaid: Thanks.
Danny: She hasn't developed a lot of taste yet.


Come On, Get Happy: The Partridge Family Story (1999) (TV)
Tracy: If we get rid of Danny, can I pretend to play the guitar?
Danny Bonaduce: My, God! Three years on the show, and it's the first time I've ever heard her speak!
Shirley Jones: That's it, Danny! Go to your room!


"The Partridge Family: Swiss Family Partridge (#3.9)" (1972)
Laurie Partridge: Well, Chris and Tracy have to eat, so I'll volunteer some of my food.
Keith Douglas Partridge: Yeah, I will too.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I will too.
Danny Partridge: I was going to give them some of my biscuit, but I don't have it anymore.
Reuben Kincaid: [about to take a bite of the biscuit that he took from Danny] Well, how important are they to the act?


"The Partridge Family: Not with My Sister, You Don't! (#1.23)" (1971)
Danny: How could you let Laurie go out with him, Mom? It's written all over his face.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: What's written all over his face?
Danny: Giggle-o!
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Giggle-o! If that's what's written all over his face, he's very poor in spelling.
Danny: However it's pronounced, it means rotten.


"The Partridge Family: The Eleven-Year Itch (#3.18)" (1973)
Danny: Look, Keith, you've got to help me.
Keith: No, I don't.
Danny: All I need is a little advice.
Keith: About what?
Danny: About how to get rid of a woman that's crazy about you.
Keith: All right. You might start by revealing some of your bad points, which shouldn't be too difficult. Discourage her.
Danny: It wouldn't work. She'd know I was lying.
Keith: One thing's for sure: she's not hooked on your humility.


"The Partridge Family: For Sale by Owner (#3.13)" (1972)
Danny: [the family is putting their house up for sale. Danny takes it upon himself to write an exaggerated ad for the newspaper. He reads from his notes] "Now Available. Partridge Manor. Live among the stars".
Keith: Live among the stars! What stars?
Danny: Every night you just look up and there they are.


"The Partridge Family: Danny and the Mob (#1.7)" (1970)
Danny: [To Mobster] You're squeezing my duck, sir.


"The Partridge Family: Soul Club (#1.18)" (1971)
Danny Partridge: [to Reuben after he mistakenly brings the group to Detroit] It's a good thing you didn't lead the Invasion of Normandy. Our troops would've landed in New Jersey!