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Quotes for
Jack Moniker (Character)
from Club Paradise (1986)

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Club Paradise (1986)
Jack Moniker: I heard about this guy in Cicero, well he stiffed a loanshark, so a couple of these guys got him, cut off his arm, beat him to death with the arm, and shoved it in a food processor and made a dip out of it. Then they served it to his family at his sister's wedding. And the sister loved it so much, she wanted the recipe. It's a crazy world, isn't it?

Jack Moniker: Tree, what's happenin'?
[Tree offers Jack marijuana]
Jack Moniker: Oooooh, no thanks. Last time I smoked that stuff they found me on top of the Sears tower trying to build a nest.

Jack Moniker: I got a little paranoid and thought people were out to get me. Now I know, they are.

Jack Moniker: In this country, the Constitution is written in pencil.

Jack Moniker: [takes a breath in the oxygen mask, then to Earnest, in a high voice] Now you stay here and honk if there's any troub...
[realizes his voice is higher]
Jack Moniker: Wait a minute!
[takes another breath in the mask, then annoyed]
Jack Moniker: This thing's helium. Goddamnit, I brought the wrong tank!

Jack Moniker: You know, I knew another proud, young, black man, like yourself, once. And I gave him some advice too. I told him, wear one glove - just one glove. The rest was history.
Ernest Reed: Who was that?
Jack Moniker: Willie Mays.

Jack Moniker: Your Excellency. You're looking elegant this evening. Why are we graced with your imperial presence?
Governor Anthony Cloyden Hayes: The fact is, one can smell the suntan oil and the frying female flesh right across the island. I was curious to see what was going on at this perverted passion pit you're running here. This orgy bin. Whatever you call this drug-crazed nipple ranch.

Jack Moniker: Check it out. What about those two?
Barry Steinberg: Eh... I don't think they're interested.
Barry Nye: Too tall.
Jack Moniker: Come on. They were just talking to me about you.
Barry Steinberg: No.
[incredulously]
Barry Nye: Really? Then what?
Jack Moniker: They said you weren't fit to sleep with pigs, but I stood up for you. I said you were.

Jack Moniker: Be careful. Someone on this island has a doll with your face on it. Voodoo, ta-ta. Take care.

Phillipa Lloyd: What island are you from?
Jack Moniker: Ellis, originally.
Phillipa Lloyd: So, what do you do around here? After you left The Palms, they said you were a smuggler.
Jack Moniker: No, I'm a snuggler.

Phillipa Lloyd: You seem fit enough.
Jack Moniker: Oh, inside, I'm a mess.

Jack Moniker: Toby here was just reminiscing about the good old days. Flogging. Slavery. Honest days work, for an honest days beating.
Ernest Reed: Gone, but, not forgotten.