Nick Hendricks
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Quotes for
Nick Hendricks (Character)
from Horrible Bosses (2011)

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Horrible Bosses (2011)
Detective Hagan: Do you want to explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone? One block from the victims house. Just moments after he got shot dead.
Nick Hendricks: I was drag racing. I'm a drag racer.
Detective Samson: You were drag racing.
Nick Hendricks: [nods]
Detective Samson: In a Prius.
Nick Hendricks: I don't win a lot.

Kurt Buckman: C'mon! Let's do this! Think about Gam-Gam! Wouldn't she want her favorite grandson to be happy?
Nick Hendricks: She wouldn't want me to kill him.
Kurt Buckman: You gotta forget about Gam-Gam. She's dead. Move on.

Dale Arbus: [Talking to man on NavGuide] Hey I always wondered these kinds of things, but is your real name Gregory?
Atmanand: [in Indian accent] Um, no, sir. Standard NavGuide protocol is to use names American people find easy to pronounce. My real name is Atmanand.
Kurt Buckman: You know what, buddy, I'm not gonna play by the rules. I'm gonna call you Akmantad.
Nick Hendricks: Atmonent.
Atmanand: [slowly pronouncing] At-man-and.
Kurt Buckman: I'm just gonna call you Gregory cuz that name is a fuckin' nightmare, buddy, let me tell you.

Nick Hendricks: I don't have sleeve gloves.

Nick Hendricks: Okay, we're following a strange guy into a dark corner.

Kurt Buckman: You don't fucking punch the driver!
Nick Hendricks: Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man.
Dale Arbus: I'm coked out of my fucking head, I can punch whoever I want to!

Dale Arbus: [about Bobby Pellitt] Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass?
Kurt Buckman: I didn't know I had DNA in my butt!
Dale Arbus: You're lying! You *know* there's DNA in your butt! You just like shoving shit in your ass, you fucking pervert!
Nick Hendricks: We are lawyering up, man. That's it.
Dale Arbus: I don't have money for a lawyer, okay! I bought a very expensive ring that I can't afford, then I gave the rest of my motherfucking money to Motherfucker Jones!
Kurt Buckman: That's who we should talk to.
Nick Hendricks: Sure. Why not? He's covered us this far, right? Five grand?
Dale Arbus: Five thousand... forty, with the briefcase.
Kurt Buckman, Nick Hendricks: Shut the fuck up about that case!

Dean 'MF' Jones: First thing first, we gotta handle business.
Kurt Buckman: Mm-hmm.
Dean 'MF' Jones: I need five thousand dollars.
Kurt Buckman: No!
Dale Arbus: No!
Nick Hendricks: There's gonna be no more money.
Dale Arbus: No!
Dean 'MF' Jones: Two thousand?
Dale Arbus: No.
Nick Hendricks: Absolutely not.
Kurt Buckman: No way, Motherfucker. No.
Dean 'MF' Jones: [sighs in defeat] All right, look... pay for my drinks.
Dale Arbus: Pay for his drinks? Yeah.
[to Nick]
Dale Arbus: Pay for his drinks.
Nick Hendricks: I'll do that.
Dale Arbus: Not a very good negotiator.

[first lines]
Nick Hendricks: I get to work before the sun comes up, and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in 6 months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime. Could be a kiwi, no way to tell.

Nick Hendricks: Where were you during the murder?
Kurt Buckman: I was making love. I was making love to a woman. You know... murdering some ass.

Nick Hendricks: [narrating] Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt, there's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass.

Kurt Buckman: [last lines - out take] Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her the fifty states, right?
Nick Hendricks: I don't know what that means.
Kurt Buckman: It's a phrase.
Nick Hendricks: I don't know think so.
Kurt Buckman: Yeah it is. Certainly it is. Definitely it is.
Nick Hendricks: Really?
Kurt Buckman: Yeah, it's from a movie.
Nick Hendricks: [negative head shake] uh, uh.
Kurt Buckman: It is now.
[looking into camera]
Nick Hendricks: Beautiful.
[winks at the camera]

Nick Hendricks: I'm such a sucker! Harken was never gonna promote me...
Kurt Buckman: That coked up prick is gonna ruin Pellit Chemicals. He's just gonna fire everybody!
Dale Arbus: She stood there with her breasts, right in my face!
Kurt Buckman: ...Y'know, yours doesn't sound that bad.

Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)
[from trailer]
Julia Harris: Have you ever done it in a dentist's chair?
Nick Hendricks: Well, you go there and I'll just go to the men's room for a minute.
Julia Harris: You're quite welcome to do that on me.
Nick Hendricks: Actually, it's... uh...
[hold up two fingers]
Julia Harris: And?

Nick Hendricks: We're not going to see Mother-Fucker Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.

Nick Hendricks: Well, we were all working at pretty terrible JOBS for some awful bosses and we just thought, if we ever got a chance to be our own bosses, that we'd do things differently
Kurt Buckman: Yeah, we came up with the Shower Buddy
Dale Arbus: I'm sorry, that name's not official yet. I wanted the Shower Daddy
Kurt Buckman: Shower Daddy is worse on pretty much every level so, yeah
Dale Arbus: Why would your buddy be in the shower with you?
Kurt Buckman: Why would your DAD?
Nick Hendricks: Don't scream on television.

Roz: Blanston, you don't have to say it.
Nick Hendricks: Roz, shut your mouth, please.
Julia Harris: Shut up and let him share. So you ate it.
Kurt Buckman: Please, say yes, please, say yes.
Nick Hendricks: You wanna know if I ate that dick?
Julia Harris: Did you suck that cock like a Bomb pop down to the blue?
Nick Hendricks: You want the answer?
Julia Harris: Give it to me!
Nick Hendricks: I ate that dick, I ate those balls and I licked that kid's sweaty asshole.
Julia Harris: Damn right you did because you are awesomely gay.
Nick Hendricks: I am super gay, never been straight. You know what else I've never been? Inside a woman!
Julia Harris: Meeting adjourned!
Nick Hendricks: Everybody out!
Roz: Son of a bitch!