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: Do you want to explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone? One block from the victims house. Just moments after he got shot dead. Nick Hendricks
: I was drag racing. I'm a drag racer. Detective Samson
: You were drag racing. Nick Hendricks
] Detective Samson
: In a Prius. Nick Hendricks
: I don't win a lot.
: C'mon! Let's do this! Think about Gam-Gam! Wouldn't she want her favorite grandson to be happy? Nick Hendricks
: She wouldn't want me to kill him. Kurt Buckman
: You gotta forget about Gam-Gam. She's dead. Move on.
: [Talking to man on NavGuide
] Hey I always wondered these kinds of things, but is your real name Gregory? Atmanand
: [in Indian accent
] Um, no, sir. Standard NavGuide protocol is to use names American people find easy to pronounce. My real name is Atmanand. Kurt Buckman
: You know what, buddy, I'm not gonna play by the rules. I'm gonna call you Akmantad. Nick Hendricks
: Atmonent. Atmanand
: [slowly pronouncing
] At-man-and. Kurt Buckman
: I'm just gonna call you Gregory cuz that name is a fuckin' nightmare, buddy, let me tell you.
: I don't have sleeve gloves.
: Okay, we're following a strange guy into a dark corner.
: You don't fucking punch the driver! Nick Hendricks
: Yeah, you don't punch the driver, man. Dale Arbus
: I'm coked out of my fucking head, I can punch whoever I want to!
: [about Bobby Pellitt
] Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass? Kurt Buckman
: I didn't know I had DNA in my butt! Dale Arbus
: You're lying! You *know* there's DNA in your butt! You just like shoving shit in your ass, you fucking pervert! Nick Hendricks
: We are lawyering up, man. That's it. Dale Arbus
: I don't have money for a lawyer, okay! I bought a very expensive ring that I can't afford, then I gave the rest of my motherfucking money to Motherfucker Jones! Kurt Buckman
: That's who we should talk to. Nick Hendricks
: Sure. Why not? He's covered us this far, right? Five grand? Dale Arbus
: Five thousand... forty, with the briefcase. Kurt Buckman
, Nick Hendricks
: Shut the fuck up about that case!
Dean 'MF' Jones
: First thing first, we gotta handle business. Kurt Buckman
: Mm-hmm. Dean 'MF' Jones
: I need five thousand dollars. Kurt Buckman
: No! Dale Arbus
: No! Nick Hendricks
: There's gonna be no more money. Dale Arbus
: No! Dean 'MF' Jones
: Two thousand? Dale Arbus
: No. Nick Hendricks
: Absolutely not. Kurt Buckman
: No way, Motherfucker. No. Dean 'MF' Jones
: [sighs in defeat
] All right, look... pay for my drinks. Dale Arbus
: Pay for his drinks? Yeah.
] Dale Arbus
: Pay for his drinks. Nick Hendricks
: I'll do that. Dale Arbus
: Not a very good negotiator.
] Nick Hendricks
: I get to work before the sun comes up, and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in 6 months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime. Could be a kiwi, no way to tell.
: Where were you during the murder? Kurt Buckman
: I was making love. I was making love to a woman. You know... murdering some ass.
] Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt, there's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass.
: [last lines - out take
] Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her the fifty states, right? Nick Hendricks
: I don't know what that means. Kurt Buckman
: It's a phrase. Nick Hendricks
: I don't know think so. Kurt Buckman
: Yeah it is. Certainly it is. Definitely it is. Nick Hendricks
: Really? Kurt Buckman
: Yeah, it's from a movie. Nick Hendricks
: [negative head shake
] uh, uh. Kurt Buckman
: It is now.
[looking into camera
] Nick Hendricks
[winks at the camera
: I'm such a sucker! Harken was never gonna promote me... Kurt Buckman
: That coked up prick is gonna ruin Pellit Chemicals. He's just gonna fire everybody! Dale Arbus
: She stood there with her breasts, right in my face! Kurt Buckman
: ...Y'know, yours doesn't sound that bad.
] Julia Harris
: Have you ever done it in a dentist's chair? Nick Hendricks
: Well, you go there and I'll just go to the men's room for a minute. Julia Harris
: You're quite welcome to do that on me. Nick Hendricks
: Actually, it's... uh...
[hold up two fingers
] Julia Harris
: We're not going to see Mother-Fucker Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.
: Well, we were all working at pretty terrible JOBS for some awful bosses and we just thought, if we ever got a chance to be our own bosses, that we'd do things differently Kurt Buckman
: Yeah, we came up with the Shower Buddy Dale Arbus
: I'm sorry, that name's not official yet. I wanted the Shower Daddy Kurt Buckman
: Shower Daddy is worse on pretty much every level so, yeah Dale Arbus
: Why would your buddy be in the shower with you? Kurt Buckman
: Why would your DAD? Nick Hendricks
: Don't scream on television.
: Blanston, you don't have to say it. Nick Hendricks
: Roz, shut your mouth, please. Julia Harris
: Shut up and let him share. So you ate it. Kurt Buckman
: Please, say yes, please, say yes. Nick Hendricks
: You wanna know if I ate that dick? Julia Harris
: Did you suck that cock like a Bomb pop down to the blue? Nick Hendricks
: You want the answer? Julia Harris
: Give it to me! Nick Hendricks
: I ate that dick, I ate those balls and I licked that kid's sweaty asshole. Julia Harris
: Damn right you did because you are awesomely gay. Nick Hendricks
: I am super gay, never been straight. You know what else I've never been? Inside a woman! Julia Harris
: Meeting adjourned! Nick Hendricks
: Everybody out! Roz
: Son of a bitch!