Lt. Mark Rumsfield
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Lt. Mark Rumsfield (Character)
from The 'Burbs (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The 'Burbs (1989)
Mark Rumsfield: Ricky, get this lame-o out of your yard.
Ricky Butler: [puts his arm around his friend] Get out of my yard, Lame-o!

Ricky Butler: Hey, Mrs. Rumsfield, no tan lines. Looks nice.
Mark Rumsfield: That kid next door's a meatball.

Mark Rumsfield: In Southeast Asia we'd call this kind of thing bad karma.

Mark Rumsfield: I know you're in there, old man! Listen up, mister! That piece of scum barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my lawn! I find one more- just one- I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut!

Mark Rumsfield: Are you totally pussy-whipped, or what? Why don't you just take your balls out of your wifes purse... make a stand for one time in your life.

Mark Rumsfield: Klopek... what is that, Slavic?
Reuben: NO.
Mark Rumsfield: 'Bout a nine on the tension scale, Reub.

Mark Rumsfield: Smells like they're cooking a goddamn cat over there.

Mark Rumsfield: Art!
Bonnie Rumsfield: Your wife is home!
Mark Rumsfield: And your house is on fire!
Art: My wife is home?

Mark Rumsfield: What'd you say we all sit down for a little of the old face-to-face, hey What-Rube?

Mark Rumsfield: Here you go, sonny - a little something for the old sweet tooth.

Mark Rumsfield: [Pounds] Good solid walls...
[Pounds]
Mark Rumsfield: Good solid floors.
[Someone in the basement pounds in response. Rumsfield grins]
Mark Rumsfield: Oh-ho. Got somebody tied up in the ol' cellar, have yah, Rube?

Ray Peterson: Is that a transformer or something...?
Mark Rumsfield: It's the goddamn power company.

Steve Kuntz: Hey man, when's the big unveiling, huh? Look, i gotta go to work in a couple of hours, you know.
Mark Rumsfield: Hey man, piss off.

Mark Rumsfield: That really burns my ass.
Bonnie Rumsfield: What?
Mark Rumsfield: That old fart. He's got the best lawn on the block. And you know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard.

Ricky Butler: Mr. Rumsfield. You guys managed to knock out the power on the entire block. Probably the whole south end of town.
Mark Rumsfield: Ricky, SHUT UP.

Ray Peterson: Infra-red night vision scopes? What are we going to do next, tap their phones line?
Mark Rumsfield: That can be arranged.

Mr. Rumsfield: Affirmative. That garbage is going nowhere. I say we wait till first light. Scope me.

Vic, Garbageman #1: The question here is garbage. Who picks up this mess?
Mr. Rumsfield: Who picks up this mess? Well you're going to pick up the mess, because YOU are a garbage man.
Vic, Garbageman #1: I pick up garbage from cans, not from the street!

Ray Peterson: It's Walter's Toupée.
Art Wiengartner: Oh jeez, beautiful place to keep a toupée, on the stove. I'm starving.
[walks off to the fridge]
Mr. Rumsfield: One thing about these old guys - they don't ever leave the house without their hair. No sir. Walter left this house in a big hurry.

Mark Rumsfield: Rumsfield's the name. Don't think I caught yours, sonny?
Hans Klopek: H-H-Hans.
Mark Rumsfield: Hans! Oh-ho! A fine Christian name. Hans Christian Andersen! What are you, Catholic?

[looking at photo]
Mark Rumsfield: Oh, pretty girl! Friend of yours?
Hans Klopek: No, it came with the frame.
Mark Rumsfield: [mocking] It came wit de frame?

Mark Rumsfield: What have you got in the cellar, HERR Klopek!

Mark Rumsfield: Hey... Pinocchio! Where are you going?
Hans Klopek: [runs away and slips on dog poop]
Mark Rumsfield: [runs, slips and falls on poop too; then grabs him] Don't you make a move sonny. I was eighteen months in the bush and I could snap your neck in a heartbeat.

Mark Rumsfield: We caught ya, Reub. You think you've been playing us for saps but you were wrong.

Mark Rumsfield: There go the Goddamn brownies!

Mark Rumsfield: [Ray takes Walter's toupee out of his shorts] Are you implying that you've been carrying that around in your shorts all day?
Ray Peterson: After you left Walter's house yesterday, I slipped this back in, through the mail slot.
Art Wiengartner: Well, where'd you get this then?
[Ray gestures to the Klopeck's house]
Ray Peterson: After the dog came up out of the basement, I found it wedged in between a bunch of magazines all of which I might add, were addressed to Walter!
Art Wiengartner: Then that means that...
Mark Rumsfield: Klopeck went back into the house and got the hair. What do we do now, soldier?
Ray Peterson: Well you heard them say they're leaving tomorrow morning? As soon as they're gone, I'm going over that fence, and I'm not coming back until I find a dead body.

Ricky Butler: Oh, Mr. Rumsfield, be careful! Queenie...
Mark Rumsfield: [steps in poop] Goddamn it!
Bonnie Rumsfield: Uh-oh.
Mark Rumsfield: Walter. Walter! Walter!
Ricky Butler: I love that dude.

Mark Rumsfield: Shut up and paint your GODDAMN HOUSE!

Mark Rumsfield: Let's cut this "nice" crap. We know what's goin' on here. What's the weird Goddamn noise comin' from the basement?