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: An innocent girl, a harmless drive. What could possibly go wrong?
: I am so dead they're going to have to bury me twice.
: No thanks Dad, I already have a Mercedes.
: [while chasing the drunk man in the Beatle car
] I don't care what you say to the man just get him to pull over. Charles
: The man is a drunken lunatic don't you think this is a little bit dangerous. Les
: Your telling about dangerous, Charles you want to know whats dangerous. Me going home and having to explain to my father that this piece of shit is my Grandfather Cadalliac.
: Not too bad for a kid without his license, huh?
Tow Truck Driver
: [while Les is on the hood of the truck
] Son I driven with deer, elk, and even bears strapped to the hood of this truck. So no 65 pound sack of shit is gonna shake me a hell a differnce. Les
: Listen mister I'll give you everything I got. Tow Truck Driver
: [driver stops and Les goes flying off the hood
] Just how much you talking.
Les' DMV Examiner
: Driving instructor: Now Anderson, I want you to take a good look at my cup of coffee. Now, I LOVE my coffee. It's probably the only thing I cherish on this god forsaken mud ball called Earth! What I'm trying to say, Anderson, is that most examiners rely on this clipboard...
[throws the clipboard out the window
] Les' DMV Examiner
: I don't believe in that shit. What I do believe is in my cup of coffee. Now this coffee is hot. If it falls on me it'll probably burn me, right? Speak up, son! Les
: Yes, yes! Les' DMV Examiner
: And nobody likes to get burn, now do they? Les
: No, no! Les' DMV Examiner
: So it's simple: You burn me, you fail. You don't, you pass.
: Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you? Mr. Anderson
: Yeah. Les
: And what did you think? Mr. Anderson
: A 23,000 dollar BMW for a kid who hasn't had a job in his life... I think it's a great idea!
Les' DMV Examiner
: Last name first, first name last! Les
: Uh... Anderson... Les Anderson. Les' DMV Examiner
: Buckle up, son, it's the real world out here!
: I'm with her! Club Doorman
: Boy, you wouldn't be with her if she was your siamese twin. Now get lost.
: I'm a free man!
: While taking his license test, Les halts on a hill top, as instructed and the car behind him honks... Les' DMV Examiner
: What are you waiting for son, Christmas?
: Les jams the breaks in order to prevent an accident and looks over at the instructor whose coffee cup lands in his crotch... Les' DMV Examiner
: You're in luck son... the cup... was empty...!