Tony Stark
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Quotes for
Tony Stark (Character)
from Iron Man (2008)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Iron Man (2008)
Tony Stark: [toasting after giving a weapon's demonstration] To Peace.

Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark! Christine Everheart, Vanity Fair magazine. Can I ask you a couple of questions?
Hogan: [whispers to Stark] She's cute.
Tony Stark: [whispers to Hogan] She's alright.
[turns around]
Tony Stark: Hi!
Christine Everheart: Hi.
Tony Stark: Yeah. Okay, go.
Christine Everheart: You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint.
Christine Everheart: And what do you say to your other nickname, the Merchant of Death?
Tony Stark: That's not bad. Let me guess... Berkeley?
Christine Everheart: Brown, actually.
Tony Stark: Well, Ms. Brown. It's an imperfect world, but it's the only one we got. I guarantee you the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I'll start making bricks and beams for baby hospitals.
Christine Everheart: Rehearse that much?
Tony Stark: Every night in front of the mirror before bedtime.
Christine Everheart: I can see that.
Tony Stark: I'd like to show you firsthand.
Christine Everheart: [exasperated] All I'm looking for is a straight answer.
Tony Stark: [removing his shades] OK, here's a straight answer. My old man had a philosophy: peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy.
Christine Everheart: That's a great line, coming from a guy selling the sticks.
Tony Stark: My father helped defeat Nazis. He worked on the Manhattan Project. A lot of people, including your professors at Brown, would call that being a hero.
Christine Everheart: And a lot of people would also call that war-profiteering.
Tony Stark: Tell me, do you plan to report on the millions we've saved by advancing medical technology or kept from starvation with our intelli-crops? All those breakthroughs, military funding, honey.
Christine Everheart: Have you ever lost an hour of sleep in your life?
Tony Stark: I'm be prepared to lose a few with you.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [walking in on Stark's robots trying to get him out of the Iron Man suit] What is going on here?
Tony Stark: Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Are those bullet holes?

Tony Stark: [reading the newspaper] Iron Man. That's kind of catchy. It's got a nice ring to it. I mean it's not technically accurate. The suit's a gold titanium alloy, but it's kind of provocative, the imagery anyway.

[after testing the suit's capabilities]
Tony Stark: Yeah, I can fly.

[last lines]
Tony Stark: There's been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop...
Christine Everheart: I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that...
Tony Stark: I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero.
Christine Everheart: I never said you were a superhero.
Tony Stark: Didn't?
Christine Everheart: Mmm-mmm.
Tony Stark: Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.
Rhodey: [whispers to Tony] Just stick to the cards, man.
Tony Stark: Yeah, okay.
Tony Stark: [holds up his notes and pauses] The truth is...
Tony Stark: [puts cards down] I am Iron Man.

Tony Stark: I never got to say goodbye to my father. There's questions I would've asked him. I would've asked him how he felt about what his company did, if he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch of man we remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability.
Press Reporter #1: Mr. Stark! What happened over there?
Tony Stark: I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.

Tony Stark: Give me a scotch. I'm starving.

[after end credits]
Tony Stark: [arriving home] Evening, JARVIS!
Jarvis: [voice distorted] Welcome home, sir...
[Stark stops as he sees a figure in his living room]
Nick Fury: "I am Iron Man". You think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet.
Tony Stark: Who the hell are you?
Nick Fury: Nick Fury. Director of SHIELD.
Tony Stark: Ah.
Nick Fury: I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You are supposed to be halfway around the world by now.
Tony Stark: How'd she take it?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Like a champ.
Tony Stark: Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.
Tony Stark: It's funny, I though with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, I need to speak to you about a couple of things before I get you out...
Tony Stark: I mean, doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?

Tony Stark: What are you trying to get rid of me for? You got plans?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: As a matter of fact, I do.
Tony Stark: I don't like it when you have plans.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday.
Tony Stark: It's your birthday?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yes.
Tony Stark: I knew that. Already?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yeah, isn't that strange? It's the same day as last year.
Tony Stark: Well, get yourself something nice for me.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I already did.
Tony Stark: Yeah? And?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Oh, it's very nice... very tasteful. Thank you, Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: You're welcome, Ms. Potts.

Rhodey: Hey Tony.
Tony Stark: I'm sorry. This is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there.

[first lines]
Tony Stark: I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!
Jimmy: We can talk, sir.
Tony Stark: Oh, I see. So it's personal.
Ramirez: No, you intimidate them.
Tony Stark: Good God, you're a woman! I honestly, I couldn't have called that. I mean, I would apologize, but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first.
Ramirez: I'm an airman.
Tony Stark: Well, you have actually excellent bone structure there. I'm kinda having a hard time not looking at you now. Is that weird?
[soldiers laugh]

Tony Stark: You got a family?
Yinsen: Yes, and I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?
Tony Stark: [quietly] No.
Yinsen: So you're a man who has everything... and nothing.

Tony Stark: We gotta go. Come on, move with me. We got a plan, and we're going to stick to it.
Yinsen: This was always the plan, Stark...
Tony Stark: Come on, you're going to go see your family. Get up.
Yinsen: My family is dead, Stark... and I'm going to see them now. It's okay, I want this... I want this.
[Stark is silent for a moment]
Tony Stark: Thank you for saving me.
Yinsen: Don't waste it... don't waste your life, Stark.
[dies]

Tony Stark: [after crash-landing in the desert] Not bad.

Tony Stark: Hmmm. Your eyes are red. Tears for your long lost boss?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.
Tony Stark: Yeah, well, vacation's over.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, you have to go to the hospital. The doctor has to look at you.
Tony Stark: I don't have to do anything. I've been in captivity for three months. There are two things I want to do. One, I want an American cheeseburger, and the other...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: That's enough of that.
Tony Stark: It's not what you think. I want you to call for a press conference.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Call for a press conference? What on earth for?
Tony Stark: Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first.

Tony Stark: Pepper, uh, how big are your hands?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What?
Tony Stark: How big are your hands?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I don't understand why...
Tony Stark: Get down here. I need you.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [about Stark's old arc reactor] What do you want me to do with this?
Tony Stark: That? Destroy it. Incinerate it.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You don't want to keep it?
Tony Stark: Pepper, I've been called many things. Nostalgic is not one of them.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [upon seeing Stark wearing a machine around his arm] I thought you said you were done making weapons?
Tony Stark: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless.
[Stark is blasted back by the force of the machine]
Tony Stark: I didn't expect that.

Tony Stark: How'd it go?
[Stark sees a pizza box on the table]
Tony Stark: Oh, that bad, huh?
Obadiah Stane: Just because I brought pizza back from New York doesn't mean it went bad.

[accidentally burning his restored car collection by hovering above them]
Tony Stark: Okay, this is where I don't want to be.

Jarvis: [while Tony is wearing the Mark II Armor] Test complete. Preparing to power down and begin diagnostics...
Tony Stark: Uh, yeah, tell you what. Do a weather and ATC check, start listening in on ground control.
Jarvis: Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations required before an actual flight is...
Tony Stark: Jarvis... sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.

Tony Stark: Where'd you get that dress?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: It was a birthday present... from you, actually.
Tony Stark: I got great taste, don't I? You, uh, wanna dance?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Oh, no, thank you.
Tony Stark: [leading her to the dance floor] All right, come on.

Rhodey: [talking over phone] What the hell is that noise?
Tony Stark: I'm driving with the top down.
Rhodey: Well, I need your help right now.
Tony Stark: Funny how that works, huh?
Rhodey: Yeah. Speaking of funny, we got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few klicks from where you were being held.
Tony Stark: Well, I'd say that's a hot spot. Sounds...
[takes a breath]
Tony Stark: ...sounds like someone stepped in and did your job for you.
Rhodey: Why do you sound out of breath?
Tony Stark: I'm not. I was just jogging in the canyon.
Rhodey: I thought you were driving.
Tony Stark: Right, I was driving... to the canyon... where I'm gonna jog.
Rhodey: You sure you don't have any tech in that area I should know about?
Tony Stark: Nope.
[Two F-22s rise behind Iron Man]
Rhodey: Good, because I'm looking at something right now and we're about to blow it to kingdom come.

Rhodey: [answering his phone during the attack on Iron Man] Hello.
Tony Stark: Hi, Rhodey, its me.
Rhodey: It's who?
Tony Stark: Oh, I'm sorry, it is ME. You asked. What your asking about, it's me.
Rhodey: No, you see, this isn't a game. You do not send civilian equipment into my active war zone. You understand that?
Tony Stark: It's not a piece of equipment, I'm in it! Its a suit! It's ME!

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, you know that I would help you with anything, but I cannot help you if you're going to start all this again.
Tony Stark: There is nothing except this. There's no art opening, no charity, nothing to sign. There's the next mission, and nothing else.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Is that so? Well, then I quit.
Tony Stark: You stood by my side all these years while I reaped the benefits of destruction. Now that I'm trying to protect the people I've put in harm's way, you're going to walk out?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it.
Tony Stark: I shouldn't be alive... unless it was for a reason. I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it's right.

Rhodey: [seeing Stark in the Iron Man suit] That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Tony Stark: Not bad, huh?

Tony Stark: [recording a log as he tests his rocket boots] Day 11, Test 37, Configuration 2.0. For lack of a better option, Dummy is still on fire safety.
[turns to robot]
Tony Stark: If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college. Seriously, we're just gonna start off with 1% thrust capacity. And three... two... one.
[performs test successfully, then lands. Dummy raises its extinguisher arm hopefully]
Tony Stark: Please don't follow me around with it either because I feel like I'm going to catch on fire spontaneously. Just stand down. If something happens, then come in.

Pratt: Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with the Maxim Girls last year?
Tony Stark: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.

Tony Stark: [explaining to Jim Rhodes as to why he was late for his plane] I got stuck doing a piece for Vanity Fair.

Tony Stark: [to Jimmy, who's raising his hand] You're kidding me with the hand up, right?
Jimmy: Is it cool if I take a picture with you?
Tony Stark: Yes, it's very cool.
[Jimmy hands Pratt his camera and poses with a peace sign]
Tony Stark: I don't want to see this on your myspace page. Please no gang signs.
[Jimmy lowers hand]
Tony Stark: No, throw it up. I'm kidding. Yeah, peace. I love peace. I'd be out of a job for peace.

Agent Phil Coulson: Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: Yeah?
Agent Phil Coulson: Agent Coulson.
Tony Stark: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy from the...
Agent Phil Coulson: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Tony Stark: Whew! God, you really need a new name for that.
Agent Phil Coulson: Yeah, I hear that a lot.

[repeated line]
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Will that be all, Mr. Stark?
Tony Stark: Yes, that will be all, Miss. Potts.

Tony Stark: This looks important!
[rips out Iron Monger's optic cables]

Tony Stark: They say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far. I present to you the newest in Stark Industries' Freedom line. Find an excuse to let one of these off the chain, and I personally guarantee, the bad guys won't even wanna come out of their caves. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration... the Jericho.

Tony Stark: Am I making you uncomfortable?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Oh, no, I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in a room full of people I work with in a dress with no back.
Tony Stark: Well, you look great, you smell great. But I could fire you if that would take the edge off.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I don't think you could tie your shoes without me.
Tony Stark: I'd make it a week.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: A week, really? What's your social security number?
Tony Stark: [he pauses]
Tony Stark: Five...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [smiling] "Five?" You're missing just a couple of digits.
Tony Stark: Right, the other eight. Well, I have you for the other eight.

Yinsen: That doesn't look like the Jericho missile.
Tony Stark: That's because it is a miniaturized arc reactor. I've got a big one powering my factory at home.
Yinsen: What will it generate?
Tony Stark: If my math is right - and it always is - three gigajoules per second.
Yinsen: [amazed] That could run your heart for fifty lifetimes!
Tony Stark: Yeah... or something big for fifteen minutes.

Tony Stark: [Tony and Rhodey are on Tony's elaborate plane sitting at a table. Rhodey is reading a newspaper] Whatcha readin'... platypus?
Rhodey: Nothin'.
Tony Stark: Come on sour patch.
Rhodey: I told you I'm not sour...
Tony Stark: ...don't be mad...
Rhodey: ...i'm not mad, i'm indifferent, ok.
Tony Stark: I said I was sorry.
Rhodey: You don't need to apologize to me cause I'm not mad.
Stewardess: Good morning Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: [addressing the stewardess] Hi, I said I was sorry.
Rhodey: ...i'm just indifferent right now.
Stewardess: [to Tony] Hot towel?
Rhodey: You don't respect yourself so I know you don't respect me...
Tony Stark: ...I respect you...
Tony Stark: ...so I'm just your baby sitter. so when you need your diaper changed
[receives a hot towel from the stewardess]
Tony Stark: thank you
[readdresses Tony]
Tony Stark: let me know and I'll get you a bottle, ok?
Tony Stark: Hey! Heat up the saki will ya? Thanks for reminding me.
Rhodey: I'm not talkin about a... we're not drinking we're working right now.
Rhodey: You are institutionally incapable of being responsible.
Tony Stark: It would be irresponsible NOT to drink. I'm just talking about a night cap here.
Stewardess: Hot saki?
Tony Stark: Yes, 2 please.
Rhodey: No... just... I'm not drinking. I don't want any.
Rhodey: [queue to a scene where dancey lounge music is playing and Rhodey and Tony are drinking as a stripper pole comes out of the floor for the stewardesses to dance around] That's what I'm talking about, when I get up in the morning and I'm puttin on my uniform you know what I recognize? I see in the mirror that every person with this uniform on, GOT MY BACK!
Tony Stark: you know, i'm not... i'm not... like you... aren't you just a little distracted right now?
Rhodey: you don't have to be like me, but you can be more and you just don't see it. No I can't be distracted right now!

Yinsen: We met, you know, in a technical conference in Bern.
Tony Stark: I don't remember.
Yinsen: [chuckling] Of course not. If I had been that drunk, I wouldn't have been able to stand, let alone give a lecture on integrated circuits.

[Stark and Potts carry out an arc reactor transplant]
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Don't ever, ever, ever, ask me to do anything like that, ever again!
Tony Stark: I don't have anyone but you.

[as he lies dying, Dummy hands Stark the Mark I arc reactor]
Tony Stark: Good boy...

Tony Stark: [pats someone on the back] Looking great, Hef.
[the man turns around, and it's actually Stan Lee]

Tony Stark: Why aren't you wearing those pajamas I got you?
Obadiah Stane: Good night, Tony...

Tony Stark: [seeing wires running out of his chest] What the hell did you do to me?
Yinsen: What I did is to save your life. That is an electromagnet, hooked up to a car battery. I removed as much shrapnel from your chest as I could, but there are still some pieces left. I've seen plenty of injuries like that. In my village we call those casualties "the walking dead," because they take about a week to reach your heart.

Yinsen: Did you see that? Those are YOUR weapons... in the hands of those murderers! Is this what you want? Is this what you wish the legacy of the great Tony Stark to be?
Tony Stark: I shouldn't do anything. They could kill you, they're gonna kill me, either way, and even if they don't, I'll probably be dead in a week.
Yinsen: Then this is a very important week for you, isn't it?

Tony Stark: Attitude control is a little sluggish above 15,000 meters, I'm guessing icing is the probable cause.
Jarvis: A very astute observation, sir. Perhaps, if you intend to visit other planets, we should improve the exosystems.
Tony Stark: Connect to the sys. co. Have it reconfigure the shell metals. Use the gold titanium alloy from the seraphim tactical satellite. That should ensure a fuselage integrity while while maintaining power-to-weight ratio. Got it?

Jarvis: Yes. Shall I render using proposed specifications?
Tony Stark: Thrill me.
[as Jarvis works on the render, Tony watches benefit at the Disney Concert Hall on TV]
Jarvis: The render is complete.
Tony Stark: A little ostentatious, don't you think?
Jarvis: What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.
Tony Stark: [gazes at a 1930s hotrod] Tell you what. Throw a little hotrod red in there.
Jarvis: Yes, that should help you keep a low profile. The render is complete.
Tony Stark: Hey, I like it. Fabricate it. Paint it.
Jarvis: Commencing automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.
Tony Stark: [looks at his watch] Don't wait up for me, honey.

[playing backgammon]
Tony Stark: [rolling a 6 and 5] Sheesh o besh.
Yinsen: Good roll.

Blonde Girl: Tony! Remember me?
Tony Stark: [walking by] Sure don't.

Rhodey: [standing by Stark's airplane] Three hours! Three hours you've kept me standing here!
Tony Stark: [walking past him] Waiting on you now.

Tony Stark: [a hole in his chest] I just want you to reach in, and gently lift the wire out.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Is it safe?
Tony Stark: Yeah. It should be fine. It's just like Operation, just don't let it touch the socket.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What do you mean, Operation?
Tony Stark: It's just a game, never mind. Just gently lift the wire, okay? All right...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You know, I... uh... I don't think that I'm qualified to do that.
Tony Stark: No, no. You're fine. You are the most capable, qualified, trustworthy person I've ever met, you'll do great. Is it too much to ask? 'Cause I really need your help here.

Tony Stark: [playing Craps] We're gonna let it ride! Give me a hand, will you? Give me a little something-something.
[woman blows on his dice]
Tony Stark: Okay, you too.
Rhodey: I don't blow on a man's dice.
Tony Stark: Come on, honey bear.
[Rhodey taps Tony hand causing him to roll the dice]
Tony Stark: There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls! And...
Dealer at Craps Table: Two craps. Line away.
Rhodey: That's what happens.
Tony Stark: Worse things have happened.

[during the attack by the Ten Rings]
Tony Stark: Gimme a gun! Gimme a gun!

[Stark's car, the winner of a race, arrives at the airport]
Tony Stark: I thought I lost you back there!
Hogan: You did, sir.

[Everhart shows Stark some photos]
Christine Everheart: [disgusted at Stark's evident hypocrisy] Is this what you call accountability?
[Stark looks at photos of Stark Industries weapons in Afghanistan]
Tony Stark: When were these taken?
Christine Everheart: Yesterday.
Tony Stark: I didn't authorize this.
Christine Everheart: Well, your company did.
Tony Stark: Well I'm not my company!

[special feature]
Tony Stark: [after losing $3 million at craps] What's better, winning all that money or not caring about it?

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [fumbling inside Stark's chest] Oh... ah... EWW, there's pus!
Tony Stark: It's not pus. It's an inorganic plasmic discharge. It's from the device, not my body.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: It smells!
Tony Stark: Yeah, it does.

Tony Stark: If I were Iron Man, I'd have this girlfriend who knew my true identity. She'd be a wreck. She'd always be worrying I was going to die, yet so proud of the man I've become. She'd be wildly conflicted, which would only make her more crazy about me...

[Pepper is reaching into Tony's chest cavity]
Tony Stark: Okay now, the copper wire - you got it?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yeah, I've got it.
Tony Stark: Now pull it out, gently, and just make sure you don't touch the s...
[BUZZ!]
Tony Stark: AH! - i-i-i-des!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Sorry, I'm sorry!
Tony Stark: Don't touch the sides, that's what I was trying to tell you before. Now, just gently pull that out, and whatever you do, don't pull out the...
[Pepper pulls out the end, Tony's heart monitors go off]
Tony Stark: The magnet at the end of it. See, that was it. You just...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What?
Tony Stark: What I was trying to tell you - no, don't put it back in! Just put it over there, we have to hurry...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What's wrong?
Tony Stark: Oh, nothing, I'm just going into cardiac arrest, because you...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: *What*? I thought you said this was safe!
Tony Stark: ...just yanked it out like a trout!

[testing his rocket boots for the first time]
Tony Stark: Okay, let's do this right. Start mark, half a meter and to the right. Dummy, look alive, you're on standby for fire safety. You, roll it. Activate hand controls... okay, we're gonna start off nice and easy. See if 10% thrust capacity achieves lift. In three... two... one...
[He activates his rocket boots, which launch him right up into the ceiling, to crash back down. Dummy sprays him with extinguisher foam]

[testing the Mark II armor]
Tony Stark: Okay, let's see what this thing can do. What's SR-71's record?
Jarvis: The altitude record for fixed wing flight is 85,000 feet, sir.
Tony Stark: Records are made to be broken! Come on!

Rhodey: Oh, my God, you crazy son of a bitch! You owe me a plane, you know that, right?
Tony Stark: [chuckling] Yeah, well, technically he hit me, so...

[Tony is going into cardiac arrest]
Tony Stark: We have to hurry. Take this, take this...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Okay, okay...
Tony Stark: Now you have to take this wire and attach it to the base plate, there.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Okay... Tony?
Tony Stark: What?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, it's gonna be okay.
Tony Stark: Is it?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: It's gonna be okay. I-I am gonna make this okay.
Tony Stark: Let's hope.
[She reaches in again and hooks up the new heart machine - CLICK!]
Tony Stark: YAAA-OOOOOW...!
[normal voice]
Tony Stark: Was that so hard? That was fun, right?

Tony Stark: I think you got a lot of my weapons.

Christine Everheart: [at the Firefighter's Family Fund Benefit] Well, Tony Stark!
Tony Stark: [awkwardly] Oh, hey.
Christine Everheart: Fancy seeing you here.
Tony Stark: [tries to remember] Carrie.
Christine Everheart: Christine.
Tony Stark: That's right.
Christine Everheart: You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight. Can I at least get a reaction from you?
Tony Stark: Panic. I would say panic is my reaction.
Christine Everheart: I was referring to your company's involvement in this latest atrocity.
Tony Stark: Yeah, they just put my name on the invitation, I don't know what to tell you.

[Abu Bakaar speaks to Tony]
Yinsen: [translating] He wants you to build the Jericho missile. He has everything you need here, he wants you to begin immediately. After it is completed, he will set you free.
[Abu Bakaar smiles and holds out his hand. Tony smiles and shakes it]
Tony Stark: [still smiling] No, he won't.
Yinsen: [also smiling] No, he won't.

[Tony emerges from the cave wearing the Mark I armour. The terrorists yell and open fire, but their bullets just bounce off the suit. Eventually they stop shooting]
Tony Stark: My turn.
[unleashes his flamethrowers]

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I would like a vodka martini, please.
Tony Stark: Okay.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Very dry, with olives, a lot of olives. Like, at least three olives.
Tony Stark: [to bartender] Two vodka martinis, extra dry, extra olives, extra... fast.

Tony Stark: [as Pepper is walking down the stairs] Hey. Ow,Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah.
Jarvis: It is a tight fit sir.
Tony Stark: Hey, Ah.
Jarvis: Sir the more you struggle the more this is going to hurt
Tony Stark: Be gentle. This is my first time.
Tony Stark: I designed this to come off, so... hey. I really should be able to...
Jarvis: Please, try not to move sir.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Whats going on here?
Tony Stark: [pauses] Lets face it. This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Are those bullet holes?


Iron Man 2 (2010)
Senator Stern: I think we're done with the point that he's making. I don't think there's any reason...
Tony Stark: The point is you're welcome, I guess.
Senator Stern: For what?
Tony Stark: Because I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favor.
[stands and turns to face the Senate]
Tony Stark: I've successfully privatized world peace. What more do you want? For now! I tried to play ball with these ass-clowns.
Senator Stern: [Bleep] ... you, Mr. Stark.
Senator Stern: [Bleep] ... you, buddy.

[only in trailer]
Tony Stark: [about to jump out of a plane] Okay, give me a smooch for good luck, I might not make it back!
[Instead, Pepper kisses the "lips" of Stark's helmet and throws it out of the plane]
Pepper Potts: Go get 'em, boss!
Tony Stark: [diving after the helmet] You complete me!

Tony Stark: It's good to be back!

Tony Stark: [reading from Natascha's SHIELD Report on Iron Man/Tony Stark]
Tony Stark: Mr. Stark displays textbook... narcissism.
Tony Stark: [Stark stares at Nick Fury, who simply stares at him back] ... Agreed.

[from trailer]
Pepper Potts: Natalie is here!
[Stark's notary enters]
Tony Stark: I want one.
Pepper Potts: No...

[from trailer]
Tony Stark: [Stark teaches Natascha how to operate his repulsor] Nail it!

[from trailer]
Tony Stark: Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I'm doing...
[generates a new arc reactor, amidst a glass-splintering explosion]
Tony Stark: Oops!

[from trailer]
[several droids surround Iron Man and War Machine]
Ivan Vanko: I hope you're ready...
Tony Stark: COME ON!
[attack begins]

Senator Stern: My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.
Tony Stark: Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. You can't have it.
Senator Stern: Look, I'm no expert...
Tony Stark: In prostitution? Of course not, you're a senator. Come on!

Tony Stark: What's the point of owning a race car if you can't drive it?

Tony Stark: I just want to talk to you for a minute, well, make that 30 seconds...
Pepper Potts: Okay.
[looks at her watch]
Pepper Potts: 29, 28, 27...

Tony Stark: [puts down a disgusting-looking dish]
Pepper Potts: What is that?
Tony Stark: This is your in-flight meal.
Pepper Potts: Did you just make that?
Tony Stark: Yeah. Where do you think I've been for three hours?

[looking through Natalie's resume]
Tony Stark: She's fluent in French, Italian, Russian, Latin. Who speaks Latin?
Pepper Potts: No one speaks Latin. It's a dead language.

Tony Stark: [to Nick Fury regarding "The Avengers" initiative] I told you I don't want to join your super-secret boy band.

Tony Stark: I'm not saying I'm responsible for this country's longest run of uninterrupted peace in 35 years! I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity, never has a Phoenix metaphor been more personified! I'm not saying Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping on an iced tea, because I haven't come across anyone man enough to go toe to toe with me on my best day! It's not about me. It's not about you, either. It's about legacy, the legacy left behind for future generations. It's not about us!

Tony Stark: [Tony has just been told by a US Marshal that tomorrow he has to attend court in front of the US Armed forces committee] Show me the badge.
Happy Hogan: [to the US Marshall] He likes the badge.
U.S. Marshal: [shows her badge] Still like it?
Tony Stark: Yeah.

Tony Stark: [Dummy, the robotic arm, has made a mess at the kitchen sink] You! I swear to God, I'll dismantle you! I'll soak your motherboard, turn you into a wine rack!
[Dummy looks down guiltily]

Justin Hammer: [about Christine Everhart] She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know. Right?
Pepper Potts: Right. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year.
Tony Stark: And she wrote a story as well.

Tony Stark: [The strawberry vendor hands strawberries to Tony who's in his car] I don't like people handing me things just put it down there.
Strawberry Vendor: Aren't you Iron Man?
Tony Stark: [Driving off] Sometimes.

Tony Stark: [Tony has seen the diagram for the atomic structure of a new element; talks about his father] Dead almost 20 years, you're still taking me to school...

Ivan Vanko: [over the phone to Tony] Hey Tony, how you doing?
[chuckles]
Ivan Vanko: I double cycle.
Tony Stark: You what?
Ivan Vanko: You told me double cycles more power. Good advice.
Tony Stark: You sound pretty spry for a dead guy.
Ivan Vanko: You, too.
[chuckles, then pauses]
Ivan Vanko: Now, the true history of Stark name will be written.
[pause]
Ivan Vanko: What your father did to my family over 40 years, I will do to you in 40 minutes.
Tony Stark: Sounds good. Let's get together and hash it out.
Ivan Vanko: I hope you're ready.
[hangs up]

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: *I* think it's weird. You look like two seals fighting over a grape.
Tony Stark: Hey, you weren't supposed to be listening to that. Get lost.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: I was here first. Get a roof.

Tony Stark: Drop your socks and grab your crocs, we're about to get wet on this ride.

[repeated line]
Tony Stark: Mute.

Happy Hogan: Anything else, boss?
Tony Stark: I'm good, Hap.
Pepper Potts: No, I'll be just... another minute.
Tony Stark: I lost both the kids in the divorce.

[Natalie Rushman walks in dressed as the Black Widow]
Tony Stark: Huh! You're... fired.
Natasha Romanoff: That's not up to you.

Natalie Rushman: I'm surprised you can keep your mouth shut.
Tony Stark: God, you're good. You are mind-blowingly close to this. How do you do it? You're a triple impostor, I've never seen anything like it. Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin?
Natalie Rushman: Fallaces sunt rerum species.
Tony Stark: Which means? Wait, what did you just say?
Natalie Rushman: It means you can either drive yourself home or I can have you collected.

Nick Fury: You've been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you're giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I know better...
Tony Stark: [interrupts] You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it.
Nick Fury: Whoa, whoa, whoa. He took it? You're Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? Is that possible?
Natasha Romanoff: Well, according to Mr. Stark's database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage.
Tony Stark: What do you want from me?
Nick Fury: What do we want from you? Uh-uh. What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems in the southwest region to deal with. Hit him!
[Natalia injects Tony in his neck]
Tony Stark: [groans] Oh God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it? Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? What did she just do to me?
Nick Fury: What did we just do *for* you? That's lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We're trying to get you back to work.
Tony Stark: Give me a couple boxes of that. I'll be right as rain.
Natasha Romanoff: It's not a cure, it just abates the symptoms.
Nick Fury: Doesn't look like it's gonna be an easy fix.

Nick Fury: What do you remember about your father?
Tony Stark: He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me, so it's a bit hard for me to digest that he said the whole future is riding on me thing, I don't get that! You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school.
Nick Fury: That's not true.

Tony Stark: [to Nick Fury] I'm sorry. I don't wanna get on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye? Honest, I'm a bit hung over. I'm not sure if you're real or if I'm having...
Nick Fury: [cuts him off] I am very real. I'm the realest person you're ever gonna meet.

Tony Stark: [Rhodey has just launched the "ex wife" weapon, which bounces off Vanko with no effect] Hammer Tech?
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [Looks dejected] Yeah.

Pepper Potts: My point is, we have already awarded contracts to the wind farm people.
Tony Stark: Yeah. Don't say "wind farm." I'm already feeling gassy.

Tony Stark: What's on the docket?
Natalie Rushman: You have a 9:30 dinner.
Tony Stark: Perfect. I'll be there at 11.

Pepper Potts: I need you...
Tony Stark: I need you too, that's what I'm trying to...
Pepper Potts: ...to leave. Now.

Natalie Rushman: Well done with the new chest piece. I'm reading significantly higher output and your vitals all look promising.
Tony Stark: Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you.
Pepper Potts: [overhears] What do you mean you're not dying? Did you just say you're dying?
Tony Stark: Is that you? No, I'm not. Not anymore.
Pepper Potts: What's going on?
Tony Stark: I was going to tell you, I didn't want you to alarm you
Pepper Potts: [interrupts] You were going to tell me? You really were dying?
Tony Stark: You didn't let me.
Pepper Potts: Why didn't you tell me that?
Tony Stark: I was going to make you an omelet and tell you.
Natalie Rushman: Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon. You got incoming, Tony. Looks like the fight's coming to you.
Tony Stark: Great. Pepper?
Pepper Potts: Are you okay now?
Tony Stark: I'm fine. Don't be mad, I will formally apologize...
Pepper Potts: I am mad!
Tony Stark: ...when I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.
Pepper Potts: Fine.
Tony Stark: We could've been in Venice.
Pepper Potts: Oh, please.

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Tony, look, I'm sorry.
Tony Stark: Don't be.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: No, I should have trusted you.
Tony Stark: I'm the one who put you in this position. Forget it.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: No, it's your fault. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Pepper Potts: Have you been drinking?
Tony Stark: Chlorophyll.

Tony Stark: [about Natalie Rushman] Who is she?
Pepper Potts: She is from legal and she is potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that.

Tony Stark: How do you spell your name, Natalie?
Natalie Rushman: R-U-S-H-M-A-N.
Pepper Potts: What, are you Googling her now?
Tony Stark: I thought I was ogling her?

[the Senate committee tries to get Stark's attention while he is making flirty faces with Pepper Potts]
Senator Stern: [finally getting his attention] Mr. Stark!
Tony Stark: Yes, dear?

Tony Stark: I don't care about the liberal agenda any more, it's boring.

Tony Stark: You know, the question I get asked most often is, "Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?"
[pauses with eyes closed]
Tony Stark: Just like that.

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: I got something special for this guy. I'm gonna bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife.
Tony Stark: The what?

Justin Hammer: [Hammer is with reporter Christine Everhart] Tony, you know Christine?
Tony Stark: Roughly.

Ivan Vanko: You come from a family of thieves and butchers, and like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your history, to forget all the lives the Stark family has destroyed.
Tony Stark: Speaking of thieves, where'd you get this design? You look like you have friends in low places.
Ivan Vanko: My father, Anton Vanko.
Tony Stark: Never heard of him.
Ivan Vanko: My father is the reason you're alive.
Tony Stark: No, the reason I'm alive is because you made a shot, and you missed.
Ivan Vanko: [laughs] If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in Him. There will be blood in the water, the sharks will come. All I have to do is sit back and watch as the world consumes you.
Tony Stark: Where will you be watching the world consume me from? Oh, that's right, a prison cell. I'll send you a bar of soap.

[first lines]
[In Moscow, an old man watches a broadcast on TV]
Tony Stark: [on TV] There's been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop...
Christine Everhart: [on TV] I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that...
Tony Stark: [on TV] I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero. that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public...
Anton Vanko: Ivan...
[Ivan enters the room]
Tony Stark: [on TV] I am Iron Man.
Anton Vanko: Ivan... that should be you.
Ivan Vanko: Don't listen to that crap.

Tony Stark: Can I ask you something personal? If this was the last birthday party you were going to have, what would you do?
Natalie Rushman: I would do whatever I wanted to do, with whomever I wanted to do it with.
[cut to Stark dancing around drunkenly in Iron Man suit]

Tony Stark: Sorry, pal, but Iron Man doesn't have a sidekick.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Sidekick *this*!
[hits Tony with barbell]

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [aiming their repulsar beams at each other] Put your hand down.
Tony Stark: You think you got what it takes to wear that suit?
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: We don't have to do this, Tony.
Tony Stark: You wanna be the War Machine, take your shot.

Tony Stark: [about to shoot a watermelon] I think she wants the Gallagher!

Pepper Potts: Tony... what're you not telling me?
Tony Stark: I don't want to go home.

Tony Stark: Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff. I've been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I've tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.
Nick Fury: Well, I'm here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.

Tony Stark: And now, from the great beyond, my father Howard Stark!
[Howard appears on a screen]

Tony Stark: [to Pepper] I am appointing you CEO, why aren't you listening to me? You know, I've been lately thinking what legacy I want to leave behind, and who should do what when I'm gone. And I think, in terms of Stark Enterprises, that you should take over it. You've always managed to handle it, so far it's been good. I hereby irrevocably make you CEO of the company.

Natalie Rushman: Will that be all, Mr, Stark?
Tony Stark, Pepper Potts: No...
[Pepper talking over Tony]
Pepper Potts: Yes. Yes, that will be all, Ms. Rushman.

Tony Stark: She's right. The party's over. Then again, the party was over for me, like, an hour and a half ago. The after party starts in fifteen minutes.
[under his breath]
Tony Stark: And if anybody, Pepper, doesn't like it, there's the door.
[accidentally fires his repulsar]

Nick Fury: That thing in your chest is based on unfinished technology...
Tony Stark: No, it's finished - it's just never been particularly effective until I miniaturized it and put it in my...
Nick Fury: No, Howard said the arc reactor was a stepping stone to something greater. He was about to kick off an energy race that was going to dwarf the arms race. He was on to something big, something so big it was going to make the arc reactor look like a triple-A battery.
Tony Stark: Just him, or was Anton Vanko in on this?
Nick Fury: Anton Vanko was the other side of that coin - Anton saw it as a way to get rich, and when your father found out he had him deported. When the russians found out he couldn't deliver they shipped his ass of to Siberia. He spent the next twenty years in a vodka-fueled rage, not quite the environment you'd want to raise a kid in - the son you had the misfortune of crossing paths with in Monaco.

Agent Coulson: [holding up the Captain America shield] Where did you get this? Do you have any idea what this is?
Tony Stark: *That*... is exactly what I need!
[takes shield, shoves it under coil, measures with carpenter's level]
Tony Stark: There, see? Perfectly level.

Agent Coulson: Good luck. We need you.
Tony Stark: More than you know.
Agent Coulson: Not that much.

Pepper Potts: I quit. I'm resigning. My body literally can't handle the stress. I don't know when you're going to kill yourself, or mess up the whole company...
Tony Stark: I think I did okay!

[about his armour]
Tony Stark: It's a hi-tech prosthesis. That's actually the most apt description I can make of it.

Tony Stark: I didn't expect to see you here...
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Well, it's me, and I'm here, so get over it and move on!

[to Stan Lee]
Tony Stark: Larry King! Larry!

Tony Stark: [lying drunk on the floor, having been blasted by War Machine] Goldstein.
Adam Goldstein: [peeking up from behind laptop] Yes, Mr. Stark?
Tony Stark: Give me phat beat to beat my buddy's ass to.

Tony Stark: My bond is with the people, and I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself.

[Tony makes an explosive entrance at the Stark Expo]
Fan in crowd: Blow something up!
Tony Stark: What? Blow something up? I already did that.

Tony Stark: [Puts new arc-reacter in chestpiece] Wow!
[burps]
Tony Stark: That tastes like coconut... and metal!

Tony Stark: Well, then, you must have known my father better than I did.
Nick Fury: As a matter of fact, I did. He was one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Tony Stark: ...Wait, WHAT?

Tony Stark: You sound pretty spry for a dead guy.
Ivan Vanko: You too.

Tony Stark: I want one.
Pepper Potts: No.

Tony Stark: Let the record reflect that I observe Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance.


Iron Man 3 (2013)
Operator: Stark Secure Server: now transferring to all known receivers.
Tony Stark: Pepper, it's me. I've got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time, so... first off. I'm so sorry I put you in harm's way. That was selfish and stupid and it won't happen again. Also, it's Christmas time. The rabbit's too big. Done. Sorry. And I'm sorry in advance because... I can't come home yet.
[pauses]
Tony Stark: I need to find this guy. You gotta stay safe. That's all I know. I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian.

[from trailer]
Tony Stark: I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world. So why can't I sleep?

[from trailer]
Tony Stark: [to Pepper] Things are different now, I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

[Stark approaches his car, flanked by news reporter. One videographer behind him points his smartphone at him]
Videographer: Hey Mr. Stark. When is somebody going to kill this guy? Just sayin'.
[Stark turns around to face the videographer]
Tony Stark: Is that what you want?
[pauses]
Tony Stark: Here's a little Holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn't know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward, so I decided... that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here, it's just good old-fashioned revenge. There's no Pentagon. It's just you and me. And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked. That's what you wanted, right?
[Stark grabs the smartphone and throws it against a column before entering his car]
Tony Stark: Bill me.

[from TV spot]
Tony Stark: [suits up] You know, it's moments like these when I realize how much of a superhero I am.
Pepper Potts: Wow!

[from TV spot]
Tony Stark: I'm here on a mission: fighting back.

[Tony seals Pepper in the Mark 42 armor, then she saves him from falling debris]
Pepper Potts: I got you!
Tony Stark: I got you first!

[from trailer]
The Mandarin: My soldiers are coming. NOTHING can save you!
Tony Stark: We'll see about that.

Tony Stark: Stop stopping!

Tony Stark: It's Christmas. Take 'em to Church.

Jarvis: Mark 42 inbound.
[Stark sees the MK42 armor flying toward the battlefield]
Tony Stark: I'll be damned. The prodigal son returns.
[Stark summons Mark 42 to come to him, but it hits a pole and breaks into pieces]
Tony Stark: Whatever.
Aldrich Killian: You really didn't deserve her, Tony. It's a pity. I was so close to having her... perfect.
[jumps down to confront Tony]
Tony Stark: OK, OK, wait, wait, slow down, slow down! You're right... I don't deserve her. Here's where you're wrong: she was already perfect.
[Stark summons the Mark 42 pieces to assemble on Killian and attach him against the wall]
Tony Stark: Jarvis, do me a favor and blow Mark 42.
Aldrich Killian: NOOO!
[the suit explodes]

Tony Stark: [to little boy] I loved you in "A Christmas Story," by the way.

Tony Stark: [after blasting a hole through Savin's chest] Walk away from that, you son of a bitch.

Savin: You think you're so smart?
Tony Stark: That's the thing about smart guys: we cover our asses!
[blasts Savin]

Colonel James Rhodes: [sees Trevor] THIS is the Mandarin?
Tony Stark: I know, right? It's embarrassing!

Aldrich Killian: No more false faces... You said you wanted the Mandarin? You're looking right at him! It was always me, Tony, right from the start! I AM THE MANDARIN!
[Pepper, glowing with Extremis, swats him away with a pole and looks at Tony, who thought she was dead]
Tony Stark: I got nothing.

Pepper Potts: ...and all your distractions?
Tony Stark: Uh, I'm going to shave them down a bit...
[taps earpiece]
Tony Stark: Jarvis. Hey.
Jarvis: All wrapped up here, sir. Will there be anything else?
Tony Stark: You know what to do.
Jarvis: The Clean Slate Protocol, sir?
Tony Stark: Screw it, it's Christmas! Yes, yes!
[One by one the suits explode]
Tony Stark: [embraces Pepper] OK so far? You like it?
Pepper Potts: [crying] It'll do.

Tony Stark: [narrates] Some people say progress is a bad thing. But try having a magnet in your chest keeping you alive.

[after credits, Bruce Banner awakes]
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, did I disturb your selective napping?
Bruce Banner: I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor. It's not my department.
Tony Stark: Your training?
Bruce Banner: My temperament.

Brandt: Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
Tony Stark: Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.
[blows up Brandt]

Tony Stark: A bomb is not a bomb when it's a misfire.

Tony Stark: [narrates] I thought things couldn't get any worse... then I turned on the TV. That's when he happened.

[Stark enters the Mandarin's bedroom. He uncovers the bedsheet, only to find two women. He motions them to be silent before sneaking behind the bed when he hears the toilet flush. The Mandarin exits the bathroom]
Trevor Slattery: I wouldn't go in there for 20 minutes!
[Approaches dresser]
Trevor Slattery: So which one of you is Vanessa?
[Vanessa raises her hand]
Trevor Slattery: Ah, Nessie!
[Throws fortune cookie to her]
Trevor Slattery: Did you know that fortune cookies aren't Chinese? They're American, based on a Japanese recipe.
Vanessa: There's some guy over here...
[Stark suddenly appears, pointing a gun at The Mandarin]
Tony Stark: Freeze!
Trevor Slattery: [Raises hands] Oh bloody hell.

Tony Stark: See what happens when you hang out with my ex-girlfriends?
Pepper Potts: You are such a jerk!

Colonel James Rhodes: This is how you've been managing your downtime, huh?
Tony Stark: Everybody needs a hobby.

[first lines]
Tony Stark: [Narrates] A famous man once said, 'We create our own demons.' Who said that? What does that even mean? Doesn't matter. I said it 'cause he said it. So now, he was famous and that basically getting said by two well-known guys. I don't, uh... I'm gonna start again.
[pause]
Tony Stark: Let's track this from the beginning.

Ho Yinsen: Mr. Stark. Ho Yinsen.
Tony Stark: Ah, I finally met a man called "Ho." Come here.
Ho Yinsen: I would like to introduce you to our guest, Dr. Wu.
Tony Stark: Oh, this guy. Hey.
Doctor Wu: Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: You're a heart doctor.
[points to Maya]
Tony Stark: She's going to need a cardiologist after I...
[honks party horn and leaves with Maya]
Maya Hansen: Bye.
Ho Yinsen: Perhaps another time?

[Hansen's plant explodes]
Happy Hogan: I'm coming! I got you!
[throws himself on Tony]
Maya Hansen: It's okay, it was the plant! It's a glitch in my work.
Tony Stark: [to Hogan] Please, stop riding me!

Tony Stark: [to Ms. Davis] Your son didn't kill those people. He's not a murderer. He was used.

Pepper Potts: I'm taking a shower.
Tony Stark: Okay.
Pepper Potts: And you're gonna join me.
Tony Stark: Better.

[the Iron Legion arrives]
Tony Stark: [to Rhodey] Merry Christmas, buddy.

[catching eleven freefalling passengers]
Tony Stark: Remember that game, Barrel of Monkeys? This is how it is: we got to catch all the monkeys!

[Tony tries to embrace Pepper]
Pepper Potts: Don't!
Tony Stark: It's okay...
Pepper Potts: I'm hot, I'll hurt you!
Tony Stark: [touches Pepper] No, you won't. See? Not hot.
Pepper Potts: Am I going to be okay?
Tony Stark: No. You're in a relationship with me, nothing will ever be okay. But I had this twenty years ago when I was drunk, I can sort it out. I fix stuff.

[Pepper uses a repulsor on Killian]
Tony Stark: Honey?
Pepper Potts: Oh my god... that was really violent...

Pepper Potts: Who's the hot mess now?
[a call-back to Tony's early statement to Pepper that he was a "piping hot mess."]
Tony Stark: That's debatable. But you look great like this, the repulsor and the sports bra...
Pepper Potts: I think I understand why you don't want to give up the suits. What have I got to complain about now?
Tony Stark: Well, it's me. You'll find something.

[last lines]
Tony Stark: [narrates] My armor was never a distraction or a hobby, it was a cocoon, and now I'm a changed man. You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys, but one thing you can't take away - I am Iron Man.

[Stark hurls a piano at a copter]
Tony Stark: That's one!

Jarvis: Sir, I think I need to sleep now...
[shuts down]
Tony Stark: Jarvis! Jarvis? Don't leave me, buddy...

Colonel James Rhodes: Give me a suit.
[holds out arms]
Tony Stark: Sorry, they're only coded to me. Don't worry, I got you covered.
[a suit approaches Rhodey]
Jarvis: Good evening, Colonel. Can I give you a lift?
Colonel James Rhodes: Very funny.

Colonel James Rhodes: Are you okay?
Tony Stark: I broke the crayon.

Tony Stark: So, uhh, who's home?
Harley Keener: Well, my mom already left for the diner, and dad went to 7-Eleven to get scratchers... I guess he won, 'cause that was six years ago.
Tony Stark: Hmm... which happens, dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it, here's what I need...
[pauses]
Tony Stark: A laptop, a digital watch, a cell phone, the pneumatic actuator from your bazooka over there, a map of town, a big spring, and a tuna fish sandwich.
Harley Keener: What's in it for me?
Tony Stark: Salvation. What's his name?
Harley Keener: Who?
Tony Stark: The kid that bullies you at school. What's his name?
Harley Keener: How'd you know that?
Tony Stark: I got just the thing.
[Stark ejects a flare canister from one of Mark 42's panels]
Tony Stark: This is a piñata for a cricket. I'm kidding, it's a very powerful weapon. Point it away from your face, press the button on top. It discourages bullying. Non-lethal, just to cover one's ass. Deal. Deal? What'd you say?
[Stark tries to make Harley grab the canister]
Harley Keener: Deal.
[Stark gives Harley the canister]
Tony Stark: What's your name?
Harley Keener: Harley. And you're...
Tony Stark: The mechanic. Tony.
[pauses]
Tony Stark: You know what keeps going through my head? Where's my sandwich?

[Stark sits down and attempts to remove the microchips from his left forearm when Harley suddenly appears at the front door, aiming his potato gun at him]
Harley Keener: Freeze!
[Stark drops the pliers]
Harley Keener: Don't... move!
Tony Stark: [Raises hands] You got me.
[Stark looks at the potato gun]
Tony Stark: Nice potato gun. Barrel's a little long. Between that and the wide gauge, it's going to diminish your FPS...
[Harley shoots a bottle off a column]
Tony Stark: And now you're out of ammo.
Harley Keener: What's that thing on your chest?
Tony Stark: It's a... electromagnet. You should know. You've got a box of them right here.
[points at box on table]
Harley Keener: What does it power?
[Stark points the table lamp toward the Mark 42 armor sitting on the couch]
Harley Keener: Oh my God!
[Harley approaches suit]
Harley Keener: That's... is that... Iron Man?
Tony Stark: Technically, I am Iron Man.
Harley Keener: Technically, you're dead.
[Harley hands Stark a newspaper with the headline of the destruction of Stark's mansion]
Tony Stark: Valid point.
Harley Keener: What happened to him?
Tony Stark: Life. I built him. I take care of him. I'll fix him.
Harley Keener: Like a mechanic?
Tony Stark: Yeah.

Harley Keener: Admit it, you need me. We're connected.
Tony Stark: What I need is for you to go home, be with your mom, keep your trap shut, guard the suit, and stay connected to the telephone, 'cause if I call you, you better pick up.
Tony Stark: [about to get in car] Can you feel that? We're done here. Move out of the way or I'm gonna run you over. Bye, kid.
[Tony gets in car, but Harley continues to stand next to it. Tony rolls down window]
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, kid, you did good.
Harley Keener: So you're just gonna leave me here? Like my dad?
[Tony pauses]
Tony Stark: [Casually] Yeah.
[Tony pauses again]
Tony Stark: Wait, you're guilt tripping me aren't you?
[Harley buries head in coat]
Harley Keener: [Innocently] I'm cold.
Tony Stark: [Mimicking Harley] I can tell. You know how I can tell?
Tony Stark: [Sarcastically] Cause' we're connected!
[Tony drives away]
Harley Keener: [Normal voice] It was worth a shot.

Harley Keener: If I was building Iron Man and War Machine...
Tony Stark: It's Iron Patriot now.
Harley Keener: That's way cooler!
Tony Stark: No it's not.
Harley Keener: Anyways, I would have added in, um, the retro...
Tony Stark: Retro-reflective panels?
Harley Keener: To make him stealth mode.
Tony Stark: You want a stealth mode.
Harley Keener: Cool, right?
Tony Stark: That's actually a good idea. Maybe I'll build one.
[Harley accidentally breaks off one of Mark 42's fingers]
Tony Stark: Not a good idea.
Harley Keener: Oops.
Tony Stark: What are you doing? You gonna break his finger? He's in pain. He's been injured. Leave him alone.
Harley Keener: S-sorry.
Tony Stark: Are you?
[pauses]
Tony Stark: Don't worry about it. I'll fix it.

[the Marks 8-41 arrive at the oil rig to surround the Extremis soldiers]
Tony Stark: Jarvis, target Extremis heat signatures. Disable with extreme prejudice.
Jarvis: [echoing through the suits] Yes, sir.

Trevor Slattery: Ah, well, I had a little problem with... substances, and I, uh, ended up doing things, no two ways about it, in the street, that a man shouldn't do...
Tony Stark: Next?
Trevor Slattery: Then, they approached me about the role, and they knew about the drugs...
Tony Stark: What did they say, they'd get you off them?
Trevor Slattery: Said they'd give me more!

Tony Stark: [to Brandt] You walked right into this one. I've dated hotter chicks than you.

Tony Stark: Think about it. Six dead. Only five shadows.
Harley Keener: Yeah, people said these shadows are like the marks of souls going to heaven. Except the bomb guy. He went to hell, on account of he didn't get a shadow. That's why there's only five.
Tony Stark: You buy that?
Harley Keener: It's what everyone says.

Tony Stark: I'm gonna find a heavy-duty comm sat now, I need your login.
Colonel James Rhodes: It's same as it's always been, "WarMachine68."
Tony Stark: And a password, please.
Colonel James Rhodes: Well, look, I gotta change it every time you hack in, Tony.
Tony Stark: It's not the '80s, nobody says "hack" anymore. Give me your login.
Colonel James Rhodes: "WAR MACHINE ROX" with an "X," all caps.
Tony Stark: [laughs]
Colonel James Rhodes: Yeah, okay.
Tony Stark: That is so much better than "Iron Patriot."

Tony Stark: [about their earlier encounter in Switzerland] Please don't tell me there's a 12-year-old kid in the car that I've never met.
Maya Hansen: He's 13.
[Tony winces]
Maya Hansen: No, I need your help.

Colonel James Rhodes: We couldn't save the President with the suit, how are we going to save Pepper with nothing?
Tony Stark: Uh... say, Jarvis? Is it that time?
Jarvis: The House Party Protocol, sir?
Tony Stark: Correct.
[the suits activate]

Aldrich Killian: [about to Extremis-punch Stark] Close your eyes. You don't want to see this happening.
[brings down his fist... ]
Tony Stark: [cuts off Killian's hand] Yeah, be with you in a minute...

Happy Hogan: You know, look... I got a real job. What do you want? I'm working. I've got something going on, here.
Tony Stark: What, harassing interns?
Happy Hogan: Let me tell you something. Do you know what happened when I told everyone I was Iron Man's bodyguard? They would laugh in my face. I had to leave while I still had a shred of dignity. Now I got a real job. I'm watching Pepper.

Tony Stark: I miss you, Happy.
Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss you, too. But the way it used to be. Now you're off with the super-friends. I don't know what's going on with you, anymore. The world's getting weird.

Tony Stark: [to Happy, who is pointing his tablet video-call camera too high, catching only the top half of his face] Is this the forehead of security?


The Avengers (2012)
Tony Stark: [to Thor] No hard feelings, Point Break. You've got a mean swing.

Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
Tony Stark: Funny things are.

Pepper Potts: Is this about the Avengers? Which I know nothing about.
Tony Stark: The Avengers initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify.
Pepper Potts: I didn't know that either.
Tony Stark: Apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others.
Pepper Potts: That I did know.

Steve Rogers: [about Coulson] Was he married?
Tony Stark: No. There was a, uh... cellist. I think.
Steve Rogers: I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man.
Tony Stark: He was an idiot.
Steve Rogers: Why? For believing?
Tony Stark: For taking on Loki alone.
Steve Rogers: He was doing his job.
Tony Stark: [scoffs] He was out of his league. He should have waited. He should have...
Steve Rogers: Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony.
Tony Stark: Right, I've heard that before.
Steve Rogers: Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?
Tony Stark: WE ARE NOT SOLDIERS! I am not marching to Fury's fife!
Steve Rogers: Neither am I! He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does. But right now we've got to put that behind us and get this done.

[Stark suits up to chase Thor and Loki]
Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!
Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!

Pepper Potts: Levels are holding steady... I think.
Tony Stark: Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius?
Pepper Potts: Well, ha, I really wouldn't know now, would I?
Tony Stark: What do you mean? All this came from you.
Pepper Potts: No. All this came from that.
[Points to the energy in his chest plate]
Tony Stark: Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself... 12% of the credit.
Pepper Potts: Twelve percent?
Tony Stark: An argument can be made for fifteen.
Pepper Potts: Twelve percent for my baby?
Tony Stark: Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you.
Pepper Potts: Oooooh.
Tony Stark: My private elevator...
Pepper Potts: You mean OUR elevator?
Tony Stark: ...was teeming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?
Pepper Potts: Not gonna be that subtle.
Tony Stark: I'll tell you what. Next building's gonna say 'Potts' on the tower.
Pepper Potts: On the lease.
Tony Stark: ...Call your mom, can you bunk over?

Loki: The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?
Tony Stark: The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves; we're sort of like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type thing.
Loki: Yes, I've met them.
Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
Loki: That was the plan.
Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you.
Loki: I have an army.
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
Loki: I thought the beast had wandered off...
Tony Stark: You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!

Agent Phil Coulson: [via phone] Mr Stark, we need to talk.
Tony Stark: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.
Agent Phil Coulson: This is urgent.
Tony Stark: Then leave it urgently.
[Coulson enters Stark's penthouse, hanging up his cellphone]
Tony Stark: Security breach.
Tony Stark: [to Pepper] That's on you.
Agent Phil Coulson: Mr Stark.
Pepper Potts: Phil! Come in.
Tony Stark: "Phil?" Uh, his first name is "Agent."

Tony Stark: I thought we were having a moment.
Pepper Potts: I was having 12% of a moment.

Tony Stark: [to Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?

Maria Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?
Tony Stark: Last night. The packet. Selvig's notes, the extraction theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?

Steve Rogers: Are you nuts?
Tony Stark: Jury's out.

Steve Rogers: We have orders, we should follow them.
Tony Stark: Following's not really my style.
Steve Rogers: And you're all about style, aren't you?
Tony Stark: Of the people in this room, which one is A - wearing a spangly outfit and B - not of use?

Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?
Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
Steve Rogers: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
Tony Stark: I think I would just cut the wire.
Steve Rogers: Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.
Tony Stark: A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!
Steve Rogers: Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.

Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.
Steve Rogers: We won.
Tony Stark: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.

Jarvis: [Thor has just thrown a thunderbolt on Iron Man] Power to four-hundred percent capacity.
Tony Stark: How about that?

Tony Stark: What else you got?
Clint Barton: Well, Thor's taking on a squadron down on Sixth.
Tony Stark: And he didn't invite me...

Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?
[taps Stark with his scepter, but the Arc Reactor stops the effect]
Loki: [tries again, with no success] This usually works...
Tony Stark: Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five...

Tony Stark: [Discussing S.H.I.E.L.D] An intelligence agency that FEARS intelligence? Historically, not awesome.

Tony Stark: You should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top 10 floors all R&D, you'd love it... it's candyland.
Bruce Banner: Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke... Harlem.

Thor: Do not touch me again!
Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff.
Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with.
Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?
Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice.
Tony Stark: He gives up the Cube, he's all yours. Until then, stay out of the way, tourist.

Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did.

Tony Stark: Why did Fury call us in? Why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables.
Steve Rogers: You think Fury's hiding something?
Tony Stark: He's a spy. Captain. He's THE spy. His secrets have secrets.

Tony Stark: [about Loki killing Coulson] He made it personal.
Steve Rogers: That's not the point.
Tony Stark: That IS the point. That's Loki's point! He hit us all right where we live. Why?
Steve Rogers: To tear us apart.
Tony Stark: Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? THAT'S what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience.
Steve Rogers: Right. I caught his act at Stuttgart.
Tony Stark: Yeah, that was just previews. This is - this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered...
[Stark pauses; he and Rogers look at each other knowingly]
Tony Stark: Sonofabitch!

Loki: Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity
Tony Stark: Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you.
Loki: You should have left your armor on for that.
Tony Stark: Yeah. It's seen a bit of "mileage" and you got the "glow-stick of destiny". Would you like a drink?
Loki: Stalling me won't change anything
Tony Stark: No, no no, threatening! No drink? You sure? I'm having one.

Tony Stark: JARVIS, have you heard the tale of Jonah?
Jarvis: I wouldn't consider him a role model.
[Iron Man flies through a Leviathan]

Natasha Romanoff: [all arguing in the lab] Are you really that dense? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats.
Bruce Banner: Captain America is on threat watch?
Natasha Romanoff: We ALL are!
Tony Stark: [to Rogers] You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?
Steve Rogers: I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you...
Tony Stark: Verbal threat! Threatening! I'm being threatened!

Steve Rogers: Stark? We got him.
Tony Stark: Banner...?
Steve Rogers: Just like you said.
Tony Stark: Then tell him to suit up... I'm bringing the party to you.
[Stark in his Iron Man armor leads the monstrous Leviathan into view, heading toward the rest of the Avengers]
Natasha Romanoff: I - I don't see how that's a party.

Tony Stark: What's the stat, Rogers?
Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!
Tony Stark: ...well, you're not wrong.

Tony Stark: You're good on this end. The rest is up to you.
Pepper Potts: [on the other line] You disconnected the transition lines? Are we off the grid?
Tony Stark: Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy.
Pepper Potts: Wow. So maybe our reactor takes over and it actually works?
Tony Stark: I assume. Light her up.
[as Iron Man flies to the Stark Tower building, the power is switched on and the Stark sign lights up]
Pepper Potts: How does it look?
Tony Stark: Like Christmas, but with more... *me.*

Pepper Potts: What is all of this?
Tony Stark: This is, uh...
[Different profiles appears in holographic form floating in the air in front of Stark and Pepper]
Tony Stark: This.
[Screens appear of Captain America in action, the Hulk roaring as he attacks the Army at Culver University, and another is of Loki and the Tesseract, to which Stark and Pepper look on in awe]
Pepper Potts: I'm going to take the jet to D.C. tonight.
Tony Stark: Tomorrow.
Pepper Potts: You've got homework. You've got a lot of homework.

Tony Stark: You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart.
[Stark points at the mini-arc reactor in his chest]
Tony Stark: This stops it. This little circle of light. It's part of me now, not just armor. It's a... terrible privilege.
Bruce Banner: But you can control it.
Tony Stark: Because I learned how.
Bruce Banner: It's different.
[Banner tries to read the computer screen, but Stark slides the data aside with his finger so the two can see face-to-face]
Tony Stark: Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you.
Bruce Banner: So you're saying that the Hulk... the other guy... saved my life? That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Save it for what?
Tony Stark: I guess we'll find out.
[Banner and Stark get back to work at their respective computers]
Bruce Banner: You might not like that.
Tony Stark: You just might.

Thor: You speak of control, yet you court chaos.
Bruce Banner: It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb.
Nick Fury: You need to step away.
Tony Stark: Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?
Steve Rogers: You know damn well why! Back off!
Tony Stark: Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.

Nick Fury: Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his...
Bruce Banner: Back where? You rented my room.
Nick Fury: The cell was built...
Bruce Banner: In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!... I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth... and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!
[Banner slowly gets upset as he looks at Romanoff, who gets unnerved]
Bruce Banner: You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?
[Black Widow and Nick Fury have their hands down to grab their guns]
Steve Rogers: Doctor Banner... put down the scepter.
[Banner looks down and is shocked to see he's holding Loki's scepter; the computer beeps]
Tony Stark: Got it.
[Banner puts down the scepter and heads to the computer]
Bruce Banner: Sorry, kids. You don't get to see my little party trick after all.

[Black Widow is flying a Quinjet, while a maskless Captain America and helmetless Iron Man stand in the back keeping an eye on Loki]
Steve Rogers: I don't like it.
Tony Stark: What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?
Steve Rogers: I don't remember it being ever that easy. This guy packs a wallop.
Tony Stark: Still, you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing, Pilates?
Steve Rogers: What?
Tony Stark: It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle.
[Captain America looks at Iron Man, annoyed]
Steve Rogers: Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in.
Tony Stark: Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you.

[Captain America throws his shield between Iron Man and Thor, stopping their fight in the woods]
Steve Rogers: Hey! That's enough!
[Captain America looks at Thor]
Steve Rogers: Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here.
Thor: I've come here to put and end to Loki's schemes!
Steve Rogers: Then prove it! Put the hammer down.
Tony Stark: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hammer!
[Thor knocks Iron Man back with his hammer]
Thor: [to Cap] You want me to put the hammer down?
[Captain America ducks and holds up his shield as Thor leaps at him, blocking Thor's blow. The impact of the hammer on the vibranium shield creates a massive shockwave, knocking Thor off his feet]
Steve Rogers: Are we done here?

Steve Rogers: Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?
Bruce Banner: He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.
Tony Stark: Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunnelling effect.
Bruce Banner: Well, if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet.
Tony Stark: Finally, someone who speaks English.
Steve Rogers: Is that what just happened?
[Stark and Banner shake hands]
Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
Bruce Banner: Thanks.
Nick Fury: [to Stark] Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him.
Steve Rogers: Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon.
Nick Fury: I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.
Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand.
Steve Rogers: I do!
[Stark rolls his eyes, while Captain America looks proud of himself]
Steve Rogers: I understood that reference.

Steve Rogers: Stark, are you seeing any of this?
Tony Stark: Seeing, still working on believing.

Tony Stark: [to Captain America] In a few hours I'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D. has been trying to hide. Blueberry?

Tony Stark: [Covering his eye, looks around] How does Fury even see these?
Maria Hill: He turns.
Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting.

Tony Stark: Cap, pull the lever!
Steve Rogers: I need a minute here!
Tony Stark: Lever. Now!

Tony Stark: [to Steve Rogers] I'm not afraid to hit an old man.

[after attacking Loki with full weapons activated]
Tony Stark: Make a move, Reindeer Games...
[Loki quietly surrenders]
Tony Stark: Good move.
Steve Rogers: Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: Captain.

[Fires missiles at a leviathan, which turns to pursue him]
Tony Stark: Well, I got his attention. What the hell was step two?

Pepper Potts: Come on in. We're celebrating.
Tony Stark: Which is why he can't stay.
[flashes Coulson phony smile]
Agent Phil Coulson: We need you to look this over as soon as possible.
Tony Stark: I don't like being handed things...
Pepper Potts: [cuts Tony off] That's fine, because I love to be handed things.
[Pepper exchanges her champagne glass for Coulson's tablet]
Pepper Potts: So, let's trade.
[She takes Tony's champagne and gives him the tablet]
Pepper Potts: Thank you.
Tony Stark: [to Coulson] Official consulting hours are between 8 and 5 every other Thursday.

Nick Fury: [having discovered a security breach] What are you doing, Mr Stark?
Tony Stark: Uh, kind of been wondering the same thing about you.
Nick Fury: You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract!
Bruce Banner: We are! The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get the hit, we'll have a signature within half a mile.
Tony Stark: Yeah, you'll get your cube back, no mas, no fuss.
[pause]
Tony Stark: What is Phase 2?
Steve Rogers: [drops a weapon on a table] Phase 2 is SHIELD uses the Cube to make weapons! Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me.
Nick Fury: Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract, this does not mean that we...
Tony Stark: I'm sorry Nick, what were you lying?
[turns a monitor around showing a schematic of a rocket]
Steve Rogers: I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit.

Tony Stark: [on the aircraft carrier] Raise the mizzenmast! Jib the topsails!

Thor: Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it... and his allies. It is a signal to the Realm that Earth is ready for a higher form of war!
Nick Fury: Higher form? You forced our hand! We had to come up with some way that we could...
Tony Stark: A nuclear deterrent? Cause that always works well...
Nick Fury: Remind me how you made your fortune, Mr Stark.

[Hawkeye is shooting arrow after arrow against the enemies, and reports to Iron Man:]
Clint Barton: Stark? Got a lot of strays sniffing your tail.
Tony Stark: Just trying to keep them off the streets.
Clint Barton: [smiles] Well, they can't bank worth a damn. Find a tight corner.
Tony Stark: I will roger that.


Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008) (V)
[first lines]
James Rogers: Can we hear it again? Please.
Torunn: More - tell us the story more! Please.
Tony Stark: Okay, one more time and then it's off to bed.
[Tony tells the story]
Tony Stark: And there came the day, unlike any other. When Earth's mightiest heroes were united against a common threat. The Soldier, the God, the Knight, the Spy, the Giant, the King, the Pixie, the Ghost, and the Archer. On that day, the Avengers were born. To fight foes that no single hero could withstand: time-traveling conquerors, alien invaders and masters of evil. The Avengers vanquished them all. And finally, when the world was at peace, the heroes built lives of their own. The Soldier and Spy fell in love, as did the Giant and Pixie. The King found his Queen. And the Thunder God returned to his kingdom far away from the world of man. And one by one, the children of the Avengers came to be. Children who would one day become a new generation of heroes. But in time, evil returned. An evil called Ultron. Ultron wanted nothing less than total dominion over the world. But the Avengers stood in its way. Sadly, their defeat was inevitable. But before they fell, the Avengers hid their children in a faraway place, where they would grow up safe from Ultron's grasp. Because the Avengers knew that as long as their children were alive, there was hope. Hope for the future.

Ultron: Struggling until the end. Illogical. You must realize the end is here.
Tony Stark: No. Still hope.
Ultron: False. Hope is a human delusion.

Tony Stark: Can you help us get out of the city?
Hawkeye: Yeah, right. Help the guy who created Ultron, who got my dad killed? What do you think my father would have done, Stark?
Tony Stark: Clint? He would have punched me in the face, then he would have helped me.
Hawkeye: Wow. You really knew my dad.

Azari: This plan seemed a lot better when Torunn and the Hulk were involved.
Tony Stark: Whether you know it or not, you've prepared for this all your lives.
Torunn: [raises sword] Aye, we did! And today we meet our destinies!
Hawkeye: She means that in a good way, right?
Azari: Probably better if we don't know.

[last lines]
Tony Stark: So, are you up for a little avenging?
James Rogers: Avengers, assemble!

Tony Stark: I know you feel trapped here with just the five of us, but try not to take out on your brothers and sister. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.
James Rogers: I'll apologize to 'em later.
Tony Stark: Your father was never very good at doing nothing, either. You know you can always come talk to me, James.
James Rogers: But it's not the same, is it? Like you say, you're not my dad.

Tony Stark: How did they find you?
Vision: I was accessing the mainframe. All of Europe has now been subjugated by the machine forces since my last report. Drones are gathering along the Pacific Rim and Eastern Europe. The invasion of Asia will soon commence.
Tony Stark: In thirteen years, he's conquered half the planet.
Vision: Also, Clint Barton's son is alive.
Tony Stark: WHAT?

Tony Stark: The Hulk was a monster, a creature of pure rage.
James Rogers: Is the Hulk strong enough to defeat Ultron?
Betty Ross: He won't help you, James. He's too scared.

James Rogers: Can the Hulk defeat Ultron?
Tony Stark: James!
Bruce Banner: The Hulk doesn't care about Ultron, boy! He just wants to be left alone!

Tony Stark: Please... please tell me you didn't just walk into Ultron's trap.
Pym: How do you know it's a trap? Maybe we're just that good.
Tony Stark: I know because I built Ultron.
Pym: Oh. Well, that sucks.

Tony Stark: I created Ultron to be a force for peace, for law and order. But its programming evolved. It began to believe the only way to truly bring order to the world was to control it. That's when it turned on us.
Hawkeye: That's why Ultron didn't kill you? Because you're his daddy?
Tony Stark: My armor was damaged in the attack. Cap told me to get the kids to safety. I couldn't get to you in time, Francis.

Torunn: Why didn't my father help?
Tony Stark: Thor left the Avengers when his father Odin died. He said Asgard was his responsibility from then on, not Earth.

Tony Stark: I raised you all hopefully as your parents would have wanted. I owed it to them. Ultron was my fault.


The Invincible Iron Man (2007) (V)
Rhodey: That's a first. You scared off a woman.
Tony Stark: Easy to do when you look like Frankenstein.

Tony Stark: You don't belong with these murderers. Why are you doing this?
Li Mei: The Mandarin will rise, and many will die in the East and the West. Their souls will be offered as payment for ...
Tony Stark: Ok, that's the company line.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What have you gotten yourself into?
Tony Stark: I'll explain later, Pep. Right now I need into my office.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: That's going to be a bit difficult since I have S.H.I.E.L.D. agents crawling up my ...
Tony Stark: Pepper, I know. Can you arrange it?

Tony Stark: Interactive ex-suits. With these things, one person can accomplish what it would take dozens, exploration of any hostile environments, deep sea, volcano, space, anything. These armors will change the world. And since the next place on the map is on the floor of the Atlantic, the aquatic model is going to get me there.

Rhodey: Why don't you just own up to it, Tony? You didn't trust me enough to be a part of this project.
Tony Stark: Rhodey ...
Rhodey: I mean, I'm your closest friend. I've always been in your corner.
Tony Stark: Come on, Rhodey. You're making this personal. We're friends. Why are you overreacting?
Rhodey: I'm the only one who sees it for what it is. Remember when your father took your stuff and put it into his weapon program, how betrayed you felt? Well, guess what, Tony. You're just like him.

Li Mei: I told you, I have a responsibility.
Tony Stark: I know, to stop the Mandarin.
Li Mei: Not to stop him, to ensure his resurrection.
Tony Stark: What are you saying? You mean, joining the Jade Dragons, the things you said to me...
Li Mei: I am the last descendent of The Mandarin. It falls to me. I must be his vessel so he may walk the earth again.

Tony Stark: I have two orders of business. One
[opens the door]
Tony Stark: I am promoting James Rhodes to chief engineer for advanced technologies.
Rhodey: Thanks, man.
Tony Stark: You've earned it. And two, I'm handing control of the company over to my father.
Howard Stark: What?
Tony Stark: It's yours, Dad. The future of the company is now yours to decide.
Howard Stark: You know, I've always seen this as a father-son enterprise.
Boyer: Wonderful news, Tony, Howard. We'll support you both 110%.
Howard Stark: Shut up, Boyer. My first order of business...
Howard Stark: [to the board] you're all fired.

Boyer: Uh, Tony, let me get straight to the point. We've just learned that *someone* has been buying up stock. So much stock that this board no longer has any controlling interest.
Tony Stark: And you suspect that *I'm* that someone?
Boyer: Well, yes.
Tony Stark: You're correct. Stark Enterprises is mine!


Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
[from title reveal trailer]
Tony Stark: I don't play well with others...
Thor: After all this time, why return now?
Steve Rogers: Here with a mission, sir? Trying to get me back in the world?
Bruce Banner: We're not a team, we're a time bomb.
Maria Hill: They've gone their separate ways...
Nick Fury: They'll come back. Because we'll need them to.

[from preview footage]
[Tony tries to lift Mjolnir]
Tony Stark: If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?
Thor: Yes, of course.
Tony Stark: I will be fair, but firmly cruel.
Thor: No, I'm sure.

[from preview footage]
[None of the Avengers can lift Mjolnir]
Tony Stark: It's biometrics, right? Like a security code? "Whoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints" is, I think, the literal translation.
Thor: Yes, well that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one: You are not worthy.
[an attack occurs]
Ultron: [enters] Worthy? How could you be worthy? You're all killers. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. There's only one path to peace... your extinction.

[from trailer]
Tony Stark: Is the end, the end of the path I started us on.
Natasha Romanoff: Nothing lasts forever.

[from trailer]
Tony Stark: Thor didn't say where he was going for answers?
Steve Rogers: Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things. Kinda hoping Thor was the exception.
Tony Stark: Well, give him time. We don't know what the Maximoff kid showed him.
Steve Rogers: I don't know what she showed you, I just know it made you do something stupid.
[grabs more wood]
Steve Rogers: Earth's mightiest heroes... comes with a supply of cotton candy.
Tony Stark: Seems like you walked away alright.
Steve Rogers: [stares at Tony] Is that a problem?
Tony Stark: I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned.
Steve Rogers: Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet.
Tony Stark: Banner and I have been doing research...
Steve Rogers: -That would affect the team.
Tony Stark: -That would END the team. Isn't that the mission? Isn't that the 'why we fight'? So we get to go home?
Steve Rogers: [Splits wood with bare hands] Every time someone times to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.

[from preview footage - Rhodey and Stark use their armors to TRY to budge Thor's hammer]
Colonel James Rhodes: Are we even pulling?
Tony Stark: Are you on my team?
Colonel James Rhodes: Just represent! PULL!


"Iron Man: The Mandarin's Revenge/The Mandarin's Death Ray/No One Escapes the Mandarin (#1.17)" (1966)
Tony Stark: [observing a missile through a telescope] The missile is slowing down, and changing course, as though being pulled by some gigantic invisible hand... Of course! I should have guessed! It's close to the stronghold of the Mandarin, the most dangerous evil genius in the Orient!

Tony Stark: If I attack him as Iron Man, his electronic devices will destroy me on sight! I'll have to go as Tony Stark, and allow myself to get captured...

Colonel: Let's get right to the point, Stark! We've been using your new observer missiles. But as you can see, the results have been disastrous! Instead of obtaining vital photos for us, they've all crashed or disappeared!
Tony Stark: I don't understand it, I checked each one of them myself! They're faster than anything the enemy can put in the air to shoot them down!
Colonel: Perhaps, they're not as fast as you claim...
Tony Stark: Negative, Colonel! I'll go to the Orient myself, and get to the bottom of this!

[last lines]
Tony Stark: Gentlemen, there will be no further trouble with our missiles in that sector. Much of the credit for our success must go to Iron Man... but he's much too shy to come here himself.

Tony Stark: I knew his guards would take my briefcase. So I took a few simple precautions...
Henchman: There must be a great treasure locked within...
[shoots open the suitcase, but vapor smokes out... ]
Henchman: We've been tricked! Sleeping gaassss...
[all the henchman fall unconscious]
Tony Stark: Now that I'm inside the Mandarin's castle, it's time for Tony Stark to vanish and for Iron Man to live again!


Iron Man (2008) (VG)
Tony Stark: [destroying weapons, tanks, and helicopters during the Stark Weapons mission] ...I am really kicking ass out here.
Jarvis: I don't understand this 'ass kicking' reference, sir.
Tony Stark: Jarvis, remind me to develop a personality for you later.

[after completing the Mark I suit]
Tony Stark: Look at it. It's gorgeous.
Yinsen: Very nice, Stark. Our captors will love it.
Tony Stark: It's not for them. It's for us. We're getting out of here.
Yinsen: Ah, I see. And what happens with this?
Tony Stark: What? Are you kidding? I'm gonna build more. This is a work of art. I've never designed anything like it. Just look at it. This is the future, Yinsen.

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, what's happened to you?
Tony Stark: Pepper, listen. I never should've made it out of that cave. Now, I know what I have to do.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I don't understand.
Tony Stark: My life's work, everything I built! Countless lives RUINED by my inventions! I HAVE TO DESTROY THEM!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You can't do this alone! It's too much!
Tony Stark: I don't have a choice. Make sure Obie does what I told him. He'll need convincing. Look, I-I have to go on a... business trip.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What trip? There's nothing on your calendar.
Tony Stark: Just came up.

Tony Stark: I'm not the problem here. It's the Maggia! They're the ones supplying criminals with weapons.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: No! The problem, Tony, is you're fighting a war! And you're not a soldier!
Tony Stark: You're damn right I'm not! I'm an army! And I don't care how rich Maggia made me. I'm gonna bury them!

Obadiah Stane: I'm not giving anything up. I did what I had to do to save your father's company.
Tony Stark: No. You crossed the line, Obie. Dad never would've gone along with ANY of this!
Obadiah Stane: Your father understood business. This is beyond you.
Tony Stark: Business? This is Insanity!
Obadiah Stane: Insanity is thinking you could build these weapons and then... look away when people use them. This is the real world, Tony. It's time you started living in it.
Tony Stark: You know what? This is a waste of time. I'm not letting you do this.
Obadiah Stane: You seem to think you hold the cards here, Tony. Ms. Potts would probably disagree.
Tony Stark: What?
Obadiah Stane: Did you think I wouldn't find out what she was doing?
Tony Stark: If you hurt her...
Obadiah Stane: Don't force my hand then!
Tony Stark: It doesn't have to be this way, Obadiah. But I AM coming for Pepper
Obadiah Stane: You always do what you want, Tony. I'll do... what I must!
[Suits up as Iron Monger]


Iron Man: Rise of Technovore (2013) (V)
Pepper Potts: Are you going to be okay?
Tony Stark: I'll be fine.
Pepper Potts: Says the playboy billionaire who makes things go boom.

Ezekiel Stane: Your time is over! I represent the future!
Tony Stark: What kind of monster are you?

Tony Stark: So I guess the costume isn't the only thing that's off about you.
Ezekiel Stane: People like you who place their faith in high technology, should be placed in museum with the rest of the fossils. Actually, coffins would be better.

Tony Stark: I don't have time to mess around, and I'm not gonna wait for them to launch another attack.
Nick Fury: That's too bad.
Tony Stark: I'm the only one who has a chance against that little freak's technology!
Nick Fury: I don't care if you believe me, but I'm telling you the truth, I'm not enjoying this one bit. There are rules. And whether you like it or not, I happen to be duty-bound to obey then. There'll be hell to pay if I let our only witness get himself killed.
Tony Stark: You should know by now I don't follow the rules.


Ultimate Avengers (2006) (V)
Tony Stark: [to Natalia] Are you really Russian, or are you just trying to make an impression?

Tony Stark: Let's start with your name.
Black Widow: Not here. In private.
Tony Stark: Is this private enough?
Black Widow: Natalia... Romanoff.
Tony Stark: As in the Black Widow?
Nick Fury: I prefer to call her my Number One.

Tony Stark: [to Natalia] I'm free for nightcaps later. Interested? You can bring your gun.


Ultimate Avengers II (2006) (V)
General Nick Fury: Stark, do you need a medic?
Tony Stark: Only if he moonlights as a mechanic.

[while selecting an Iron Man costume model]
Jarvis: I've always fancied the design and color scheme of the tailwind model.
Tony Stark: Nah, I believe heavy equipment is in order. The War Machine. Sturdy, impervious...
Jarvis: And handles like 10-tons of tractor.
Tony Stark: Yeah, but it's got some sweet guns.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: The Kang Dynasty (#1.19)" (2011)
Tony Stark: Guys, we're cut off. A forcefield sealed the breach.
Steve Rogers: Hang on. We'll find a way to open it.
Tony Stark: No. Stick with the plan, we'll find another way in.
Janet Van Dyne: We will?
Tony Stark: I don't know. I'm just making this up as I go along!

[trying to enter Kang's ship]
Tony Stark: I could try my uni-beam.
Janet Van Dyne: Or we could pretend to be Girl Scouts. Everyone opens the door for Girl Scouts.


"Iron Man: Armored Adventures: Whiplash (#1.5)" (2009)
Tony Stark: [in his Iron Man suit, having just saved Pepper from danger] You're gonna be okay now, Pep... per... man... Whoever you are.
Pepper Potts: Thanks... Tony.
Tony Stark: Tony! I think you have me confused with someone else.
Pepper Potts: Relax. I know it's you. I'm not stupid. My dad is a professional investigator, remember? And besides, no one can go to the bathroom as much as Tony Stark does.
Tony Stark: [opening his mask so she can see his face] How long have you known?
Pepper Potts: I didn't! Oh, man, but I do now! I can't believe you are really Iron Man! And I can't believe you fell for that. I thought maybe you were, I tried to ask you, but... wow! Ooh, we're flying. This so awesome!
Tony Stark: You stink, Pepper. I'll take you to Rhodey's house, I'll meet you there. But when all this is over, I'll have to wipe your memory.
Pepper Potts: Really?
Tony Stark: No. But I'm thinking about dropping you.

Pepper Potts: I can't believe you nerds didn't tell me! Didn't you trust me? I'm crazy trustworthy. I could have totally helped you fight crime weeks ago. Oh! Woah, we should be fighting crime right now!
Tony Stark: Pepper! Shh.
Pepper Potts: Sorry. But seriously, why didn't you tell me?
Tony Stark: I tried to tell you a million times. But you won't stop talking long enough to let me!
Pepper Potts: Ugh... wha... oh... Seriously?


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Ultron Unlimited (#2.17)" (2012)
Ultron: We have to get to Ultron!
Tony Stark: Aye, the robotic demon has much to answer for!
[strikes Ultron... ]
Ultron: [not even a dent] My chassis is comprised of pure adamantium now, Avenger. It is unbreakable, even by your hammer.
Tony Stark: [blasts Ultron] Well, if you don't mind, we'll keep trying!

Tony Stark: Avengers, pick a robot and take it down!
Ultron: Unacceptable. Synthezoids, contain the humans.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Gamma World, Part 1 (#1.12)" (2010)
[first lines]
Tony Stark: [off-screen] Stay on him.

Steve Rogers: Why does that man have green hair?
Tony Stark: I have no idea.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Come the Conqueror (#1.18)" (2011)
Steve Rogers: Find Kang. You're the only one of us who can do it, Tony.
Tony Stark: I hate him. You know, when he's right.
Hank Pym: That's how the rest of us feel about you.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Gamma World, Part 2 (#1.13)" (2010)
Tony Stark: Here's another option - join us. Join the Avengers.
Hawkeye: I don't think so. Look how easy the Leader took you guys out. I'm better off on my own.
Thor: [to Hulk] And what of you? Will you walk away as well? You are indeed a noble warrior, Hulk - one who has saved the Avengers, and now helped save the world. I would now trust you with my life. Will you trust us?
The Hulk: Uh, I'll stay if Cupid stays.
Hawkeye: You want to go, jade jaws? Right here and now? Let's do this!


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Ultron-5 (#1.22)" (2011)
Tony Stark: [to Pym, about Ultron's remains] Destroy everything... EVERYTHING.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: The Deadliest Man Alive (#2.22)" (2012)
Tony Stark: Hope there's no hard feelings, Hulk. You have to admit, it was a strange situation.
The Hulk: Whatever. I'm still mad.
Janet Van Dyne: Well, yeah. You're the Hulk.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Living Legend (#1.9)" (2010)
Tony Stark: Bio-engineered monsters. Freaky ooze creatures. Is that what it was like fighting evil in the 40's?
Steve Rogers: No, sometimes it got strange.
Tony Stark: Did you just make a joke? Captain America has a sense of humor.
Steve Rogers: Don't get used to it, soldier. And please, call me Steve.


The Incredible Hulk (2008)
[after credits]
Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: [in a bar] Reload...
[finishes his drink]
Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: Reload...
[someone enters the bar and walks to Stark]
Tony Stark: The smell of stale beer... and defeat. You know, I hate to say "I told you so," but that Super-Soldier project WAS put on ice for a reason. I've always felt that hardware was much more reliable.
Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: Stark.
Tony Stark: General.
Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: You always wear such nice suits.
Tony Stark: Touché. I hear you have an unusual problem.
Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: You should talk!
Tony Stark: You should listen. What if I told you we were putting a team together?
Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: Who's "we"?


"Iron Man: Iron Man Arrives in Japan (#1.1)" (2010)
Tony Stark: It takes an Iron Man to defeat an Iron Man!


"Robot Chicken: Tell My Mom (#4.5)" (2009)
Tony Stark: Who the hell are you?
Nick Fury: Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.
Tony Stark: In my house? In the middle of the night?
[Stark turns and sees behind him a man in a ski mask carrying a television set]
Tony Stark: And who the hell are you?
[Awkward silence as Stark and Fury stare at the thief]
Nick Fury: Run, stupid!
["Fury" charges Stark, knocking him down, and he and the thief take off through the front door with the television set]


"Iron Man: The Wedding of Iron Man (#1.13)" (1994)
Tony Stark: When the bug came in contact with the Armory monitor, it must have affected the rate of electrical conductivity.
Clint Barton: Right. Can I send away for the brochure to explain what you just said?


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: The Man Who Stole Tomorrow (#1.17)" (2011)
Tony Stark: I don't care who you are, but this ends now!
[Kang dodges a repulsor and grabs Stark]
Tony Stark: Okay, now I care who you are!
Kang the Conqueror: Your armor is... amusing. Primitive, but amusing.


"The Incredible Hulk: Helping Hands, Iron Fist (#1.4)" (1996)
Bruce Banner: [after waking up with a splitting headache] Tony, what happened?
Tony Stark: Rick and I got into a little fracas with a very confused green eyed monster. And we're not talking jealousy.


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: The Ultron Imperative (#1.23)" (2011)
Tony Stark: Get out of my suit!
Ultron: Your armor, like all of humanity, is obselete. Accept your end.
Tony Stark: Yeah, I don't think so!


"The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: The Casket of Ancient Winters (#1.20)" (2011)
Malekith the Accursed: Greetings, thunderer. Fancy meeting you here.
Thor: Malekith!
Tony Stark: Okay, I'll bite: What's a Malakith?
Thor: Malekith the Accursed! The master of the hounds, a dark elf from the realm of Svartalfheim!
Tony Stark: Yeah, that didn't really clear it up.