The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: [from trailer
] Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?
: For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones. Lou
: You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.
: [to Lou
] I have some Ativan but it's different. Lou
: Well, let's stick it up our asses! Jacob
: It's not a suppository! Lou
: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!
: [Refferring to Lou
] Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me. Adam
: Yeah, but you had that coming.
: [about Blaine
] Hey look, it's the douchbag from Karate Kid 3.
: One little change has a ripple effect and it effects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami, in like, you know, somewhere. Jacob
: Yes exactly. You step on the bug and the fucking internet is never invented. Lou
: Oh then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth. Jacob
: Yeah. No. I was more concerned about bigger consequences like not being born. Lou
: Yeah. No. I don't care about that.
: It's the fucking 80's guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love! Jacob
: That's the 60's, dipshit. Adam
: We had like Reagan and AIDS. Let's get the fuck outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!
: I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later? Girl at Club
: Can you what? Jacob
: Are you online at all? Girl at Club
: I have no idea what you're talking about. Jacob
: How do I get a hold of you? Girl at Club
: You come find me. Jacob
: That sounds... exhausting.
: [To Lou
] I knew I hated you for a reason, I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!
: [to Adam and Nick
] Oh, man, what the fuck's he doing here? Jacob
: Nice to see you too, Lou. Lou
] Nice to see you too, Lou. Fuck you, Jacob! You suck and you know it! You just ruined my fucking weekend.
: Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend? Jacob
: What should I do out of the house this weekend Uncle Adam? Adam
: Something in the course of reality, get a job, go to college. Jacob
: That all sounds overrated.
: Why do you waste your time with that second-life bullshit? Look at you. You're still in jail. You were in jail last week. Jacob
: Yeah, I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time". Adam
: Can't you be like a warrior or shaman or orc or some shit like that?
: Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way. Jacob
: Yeah not with another fucking guy! Lou
: It's still a three-way!
: Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet, marked "Cincinatti" ?
: She dumped you... and you still got stabbed in the eye!
: Just like Cincinatti. Lou
: What? Adam
: You're gonna bring that up? Lou
: We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinatti ever, okay? Jacob
: Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinatti"? Adam
: Yeah! Lou
: What? That's fucking admissible! Nick
: You keep it in the closet? Adam
: What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things. Nick
: You wrote "Cincinatti" on it? Adam
: How do I know which one it's supposed to be? Jacob
: Is it a fetus? Nick
: My friends are ridiculous.
: The taxidermist is stuffing my mother.
: Let's go check out the future strip club situation. Nick
: High five. Jacob
: Did you just say "high five" instead of high five-ing?
: Jacob is my cousin, and Uncle Lou... Lou
: Don't you ever call me that. Adam Jr.
: ...is my uncle! And they came here in a... uh... what was it? Lou
: Hot Tub Time Machine. Jill
: Oh, okay. So I guess you came here in a Hot Tub Time Machine, too.
[Lou, Nick and Jacob stare into the camera
: We gotta make America happen bro. Nick
: Ready for another dip? Jacob
: [Jacob to Nick
] You're not going to be super welcome there but we should totally go.