IMDb > Jacob (Character) > Quotes
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Jacob (Character)
from Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
Jacob: [from trailer] Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?

Jacob: For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones.
Lou: You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.

Jacob: [to Lou] I have some Ativan but it's different.
Lou: Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob: It's not a suppository!
Lou: It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!

Jacob: [Refferring to Lou] Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me.
Adam: Yeah, but you had that coming.

Jacob: [about Blaine] Hey look, it's the douchbag from Karate Kid 3.

Adam: One little change has a ripple effect and it effects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami, in like, you know, somewhere.
Jacob: Yes exactly. You step on the bug and the fucking internet is never invented.
Lou: Oh then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth.
Jacob: Yeah. No. I was more concerned about bigger consequences like not being born.
Lou: Yeah. No. I don't care about that.

Lou: It's the fucking 80's guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!
Jacob: That's the 60's, dipshit.
Adam: We had like Reagan and AIDS. Let's get the fuck outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!

Jacob: I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later?
Girl at Club: Can you what?
Jacob: Are you online at all?
Girl at Club: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jacob: How do I get a hold of you?
Girl at Club: You come find me.
Jacob: That sounds... exhausting.

Jacob: [To Lou] I knew I hated you for a reason, I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!

Lou: [to Adam and Nick] Oh, man, what the fuck's he doing here?
Jacob: Nice to see you too, Lou.
Lou: [mimicking] Nice to see you too, Lou. Fuck you, Jacob! You suck and you know it! You just ruined my fucking weekend.

Adam: Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?
Jacob: What should I do out of the house this weekend Uncle Adam?
Adam: Something in the course of reality, get a job, go to college.
Jacob: That all sounds overrated.

Adam: Why do you waste your time with that second-life bullshit? Look at you. You're still in jail. You were in jail last week.
Jacob: Yeah, I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time".
Adam: Can't you be like a warrior or shaman or orc or some shit like that?

Lou: Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way.
Jacob: Yeah not with another fucking guy!
Lou: It's still a three-way!

Jacob: Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet, marked "Cincinatti" ?

Jacob: She dumped you... and you still got stabbed in the eye!

Nick: Just like Cincinatti.
Lou: What?
Adam: You're gonna bring that up?
Lou: We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinatti ever, okay?
Jacob: Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinatti"?
Adam: Yeah!
Lou: What? That's fucking admissible!
Nick: You keep it in the closet?
Adam: What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things.
Nick: You wrote "Cincinatti" on it?
Adam: How do I know which one it's supposed to be?
Jacob: Is it a fetus?
Nick: My friends are ridiculous.

Jacob: The taxidermist is stuffing my mother.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015)
Lou: Let's go check out the future strip club situation.
Nick: High five.
Jacob: Did you just say "high five" instead of high five-ing?

Adam Jr.: Jacob is my cousin, and Uncle Lou...
Lou: Don't you ever call me that.
Adam Jr.: my uncle! And they came here in a... uh... what was it?
Lou, Nick, Jacob: Hot Tub Time Machine.
Jill: Oh, okay. So I guess you came here in a Hot Tub Time Machine, too.
[Lou, Nick and Jacob stare into the camera]

Lou: We gotta make America happen bro.
Nick: Ready for another dip?
Jacob: [Jacob to Nick] You're not going to be super welcome there but we should totally go.