Kelly Robinson
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Quotes for
Kelly Robinson (Character)
from I Spy (2002)

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I Spy (2002)
Kelly Robinson: Hey, I can see you, and me, and you, and... oh, I like this!

Kelly Robinson: Hey, what's this? It looks like a sock.
Alexander Scott: It's a secret spy mask, put it on.
Kelly Robinson: [Kelly puts it on]
Kelly Robinson: Hey man, this is a sock!

[after jumping from a building onto a catering tent to escape from bad guys]
Kelly Robinson: Hey! That wasn't so bad!
Alexander Scott: Yeah! Are your legs numb?

Kelly Robinson: He's a bad guy, right?
Alexander Scott: I don't know. People are flip-flopping so much I lost track.

Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?

Kelly: I'm 57 and 0 baby.

Kelly Robinson: [they're running away after a mission gone wrong because of Kelly] You know, I was born semi-pyschic, and I had a bad hunch something was gonna happen in that room.
Alexander Scott: Then, why did you go into the room?
Kelly Robinson: I'm only semi-pyschic! I ain't Miss Cleo!

Hungarian Cop: [in Hungurian] Hands up! What's going on here?
Alexander Scott: [in Hungurian about Kelly] The black guy! The black guy mugged me!
Hungarian Cop: [tells Kelly in Hungurian to put his hands up]
Kelly Robinson: I'd like to file a complaint! Wait!
[being put into handcuffs]
Kelly Robinson: Why am I being arrested? Why am I the only one getting arrested? This is bullshit! He kicked me, too! He kicked me in my nuts!
[being put into police van]
Kelly Robinson: Why am I getting arrested if I got kicked in my nuts! How come you just arresting the black man? My nuts was kicked!

Kelly Robinson: Kelly Robinson.
Alexander Scott: Are you going to be referring to yourself in the third person, the whole time? Because that can get a little irritating.

Kelly Robinson: Hey, what's in that bag.
Alexander Scott: Spy stuff.

Kelly Robinson: What you doing hanging from the ceiling like that? What you doing?
Alexander Scott: No, don't walk in here.
Kelly Robinson: Let me tell you something man, you ain't gonna be telling me what to do all the time. I'm Kelly Robinson, don't talk to me like that.
[walks into a infra red security system]
Kelly Robinson: Oh, shit.

Kelly Robinson: I put this in my eye?
Alexander Scott: I got the camera in my eye.

Alexander Scott: Oh, my gosh.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Kelly Robinson: [to Alex] Hey, come on now. Hey, come on now. Let me at least see the goods.

Kelly Robinson: [to Alex] Let me show you something a little Kelly Robinson style. Hold on, here we go!

Alexander Scott: Did you see that? That was a big explosion.
Kelly Robinson: Damn!


"I Spy: A Cup of Kindness (#1.2)" (1965)
Russ Conley: Wait till the boys back at the office hear about this, Kelly. You must be leading a fat life to fall for a pair of shoes.
Alexander Scott: You know Tricky Dick?
Kelly Robinson: Know him? He almost flunked me in Advanced Blowing Up Suspension Bridges. Meet my instructor from indoctrination school.

Kelly Robinson: You weren't just a good instructor, Russ. You were something else. I've stayed alive because of what you've taught me.
Russ Conley: Fine.
Kelly Robinson: Something you said once I've never forgot. "In espionage we look upon the face of evil everyday. We must all be on guard not to become corrupted..."
Russ Conley: "... by facing evil with a greater evil of our own."

Kelly Robinson: [Standing before the hulking store manager] Uh, yes, well, actually, since you advertise yourselves as shippers and exporters, I demand, sir...
Kwan Tak: Demand?
Kelly Robinson: Uh, well, perhaps, actually the word "demand" is not exactly what I had in mind. Uh, let's see, the word "implore" or "entreat" would be more in line.

Kelly Robinson: [as the angry, hulking manager comes closer] They were fireworks for my nephew. It's his birthday. He's the son of my sister, and they're visiting here, and I thought, well, what more natural gift than some extraordinary thing that you extraordinary people are so extraordinary with?

Kelly Robinson: [Prisoners in the locked room] Well, you blew it!
Alexander Scott: I blew it?
Kelly Robinson: How many hours does a man have to hold off Genghis Khan and his cavalry?
Alexander Scott: Listen, a four-year-old child could have held off those dancing elves.
Kelly Robinson: Well, fortunately, this is not the worst fine mess you've gotten us into.


"I Spy: So Long, Patrick Henry (#1.1)" (1965)
Kelly Robinson: [Phone rings] Hello?
Mickey: Sir, Mr. Robinson?
Kelly Robinson: Yes, what is it?
Mickey: This is OO7.
Kelly Robinson: What?
Mickey: OO7. You know, like in the movies.
Kelly Robinson: Oh, boy...

Kelly Robinson: That's a pretty dangerous game he's playing, whatever it is.
Alexander Scott: It's not a game he's playing. He was rolling drunks in the streets of Chicago when he was twelve. With a little luck and less talent, he could have gone to the gas chamber.

Kelly Robinson: They never let you out?
Elroy Browne: Well, I'm the champion show dog. I might catch fleas.

[last lines]
Mickey: We'll be late to the matinee.
Kelly Robinson: Matinee of what?
Alexander Scott: It's his reward. I promised to take him to a movie.
Kelly Robinson: What movie?
Alexander Scott: Uh, it's an English picture. Wonderful cast! Many of your favorite stars in it.
Mickey: The Adventures of Double-O Seven!
Alexander Scott: Right!
Kelly Robinson: Aw, man...
Alexander Scott: No, now listen, don't knock the competition, you may learn something. Listen, this guy is really wonderful, I'm tellin' ya. Not only does he get the women, but he gets them painted all different colors of the rainbow. It's called widescreen integration. But you need a refresher course because I've been watching. You've been slippin' lately...


"I Spy: Affair in T'Sien Cha (#1.14)" (1965)
Kelly Robinson: Somebody's busted our cover to pieces. They know who we are.
Alexander Scott: The Green Hornet and his faithful valet Kato.

Edwin Wade: Do you want to not do that, please? Don't repeat everything I say. My wife does that. That's why I travel so much. So don't you do it, please? It makes me nervous.
Kelly Robinson: Nervous?

Alexander Scott: Hey, I know what this is! Tells your fortune. I got one of these when I was a kid for Christmas.
Kelly Robinson: The Chinese invented everything.
Alexander Scott: Not Christmas.


"I Spy: Danny Was a Million Laughs (#1.7)" (1965)
Helen Robinson: The United States is the source of most of the antibiotics used out here. Our image in this part of the world is not being helped by impure and inadequate drugs.
Kelly Robinson: Them little kids aren't being helped by it either.
Helen Robinson: It's Dr. Moran's job to look after the children. It's mine to look after the interests of our country. Mine and yours and Mr. Scott's. Is that clear?
Alexander Scott: Yes, ma'am.
Kelly Robinson: Clear.
Helen Robinson: Somewhere in the U.S., before they ever arrive here in the Orient, those drugs are being tampered with. That much we know. There's a Senate committee looking into it, as well they should. Next week a man from the committee will be here in Hong Kong with papers to extradite someone with useful information. Now it's obvious that there are people here who don't want that man to testify, so he's been marked for assassination. You will arrange to keep him alive.
Alexander Scott: Right here in Hong Kong, just like that?
Helen Robinson: Exactly like that.

Kelly Robinson: While you're at it, you might as well tell her I've had it, personally, with the whole Nathan Hale bit.
Alexander Scott: Right.
Kelly Robinson: They don't want you to just give the one life you regret you only got one of, they want you to give your self-respect, too!
Alexander Scott: Right.
Kelly Robinson: I admit we got a certain duty to our country. But we got a little duty to humanity as well. Keepin' that creep alive will be a direct sell out of the entire human race!
Alexander Scott: Right.
Kelly Robinson: Do you have any idea what it would be like bodyguarding Danny Preston? You'd get ulcers in half an hour!


"I Spy: It's All Done with Mirrors (#1.27)" (1966)
Dr. Karolyi: [Addressing the captive Kelly] You are half of one of your country's most effective intelligence teams, and I know you have been briefed about my experiments in conditioning animal behavior.
Kelly Robinson: Brainwashing. Yeah, well, I always send mine out.
Dr. Karolyi: Ah, but we do our laundry right here on the premises.

Kelly Robinson: I'll have myself a shower and a shave and I'll be once again your alert, clean-cut, clear-eyed, government-issue Captain Marvel.


"I Spy: The Conquest of Maude Murdock (#1.22)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: [Kelly and Scott are being held at gunpoint by two Spanish-speaking guards; Kelly is preparing to try and hit the fusebox] Look here, old man, I could use a little diversion about now.
Alexander Scott: What kind of a disturbance do you want?
Kelly Robinson: I don't know, but make it quick.
Alexander Scott: Mary Poppins!
[the guards look to Scott in surprise, the lights go out and gunfire is heard in the darkness]

Kelly Robinson: [Thanking their faithful taxi driver Jaime for waiting, even after getting beat up] You stuck with us, my man. You're all right.
Jaime: That's why I'm hanging around with you, because I'm learning about love.
Kelly Robinson: Oh, yeah? What do you think about it?
Jaime: It is madness.
Kelly Robinson: And it hurts too, doesn't it?


"I Spy: Trial by Treehouse (#2.6)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: Listen uh, it wasn't my fault man. I uh. I run into an oil slick back there.
Alexander Scott: Where?
Kelly Robinson: I don't know, it's back there somewhere.

Kelly Robinson: You're a very lucky man.


"I Spy: There Was a Little Girl (#1.26)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: What's eating you, anyway?
Alexander Scott: Why, I don't know, man. Tensions or something. Y'know, it's as if, uh, it's as if a dead cat walked across my grave.
Kelly Robinson: Well, that's silly. How could a dead cat walk?
Alexander Scott: Well, that's what I mean. Causes tension just having me think about it.

Alexander Scott: [Taking over Kelly's unfinished game of solitaire] You're the only man I know that will use deuces and jokers wild at a solitaire game.
Kelly Robinson: Gotta win a game once in a while.


"I Spy: Return to Glory (#1.21)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: [Walking along the sidewalk, gnawing on a stick] Wanna piece of my sugar cane?
Alexander Scott: No, man.
Kelly Robinson: It's great stuff. In time it makes your teeth all gold.


"I Spy: Carry Me Back to Old Tsing-Tao (#1.3)" (1965)
Kelly Robinson: Why can't you do it?
Mariner: 'Cause I'm not one of you glamor boys. My cover is being a coal laborer on a lousy Dutch freighter. Two years and I haven't had an assignment yet where I can where a clean white shirt. Unlike you cute glamor boys.
Kelly Robinson: My hotel bill is forty dollars a night, how about that?
Mariner: And you get to play with all the local talent.
Kelly Robinson: Well, it's a struggle.
Mariner: Sure.


"I Spy: Bet Me a Dollar (#1.20)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: [Speaking to his doctor, after being treated for a knife wound sustained while breaking up a fight] What about the fight? I mean, what happened?
Dr. Munoz: Oh, we call it "machismo." "Who is the better man?" It started in the bar and finished on the pavement.
Kelly Robinson: [Smiling and shaking head in understanding] Yes, we call it the same thing and it usually starts in the same place.


"I Spy: One of Our Bombs Is Missing (#2.10)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: [after Kelly gets a phone call and quickly kicks their beautiful dates out from their hotel room] We gotta get over to the American Embassy!
Alexander Scott: [bewildered] But, I mean why - how come - uh?
Kelly Robinson: They've lost a nuclear device! We lost an A-bomb, and we gotta find it!
Alexander Scott: [dejectedly following Kelly out the door] We were having fun here, just a minute ago.


"I Spy: Turkish Delight (#1.19)" (1966)
Kelly Robinson: [to Scotty] How come you always embarrass me when I'm rescuing you?