Debra Morgan
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Quotes for
Debra Morgan (Character)
from "Dexter" (2006)

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"Dexter: Crocodile (#1.2)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: So what's up, hot shot?
Debra Morgan: Alright, get this. Lieutenant's looking for that refrigerated truck in every swamp, glade and chop shop from here to the Keys. The way I see it, that whack-job truck driver threw a severed head at your car. It's not as if he's shy.
Dexter Morgan: You think he's hiding the truck in plain sight, wanting it to be found?

Debra Morgan: Why is it we never talk brother-sister stuff?
Dexter Morgan: Our dad was a cop, you're a cop, I work for the cops... for us, this is brother-sister stuff.

Debra Morgan: So, Miami is the haystack and the ice truck's the needle, right? Brother, I just found the fucking needle!

Debra Morgan: Watching ice melt, this is fun.
Vince Masuka: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.
Angel Batista: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!
Dexter Morgan: Huh?
Vince Masuka: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.
Debra Morgan: Yeah, from vine to vine...
Lt. Maria Laguerta: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

"Dexter: The Dark Defender (#2.5)" (2007)
Debra Morgan: [sipping her latte] Oh, sweet Mary, mother of fuck, that's good!
Dexter Morgan: I think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Debra Morgan: If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.

Dexter Morgan: See you tonight?
Debra Morgan: I think I'm staying at Gabriel's.
Dexter Morgan: I thought you were taking it slow.
Debra Morgan: We are. No sex, just cuddling.
Dexter Morgan: My little sister, the cuddler.
Debra Morgan: I got a scalding-hot beverage here, Dex. Don't make me use it.
Dexter Morgan: Love you, too.

"Dexter: Return to Sender (#1.6)" (2006)
Sergeant James Doakes: You've been asking who's been calling. My mom lives here.
Debra Morgan: Did you forget your laundry?
Sergeant James Doakes: She's been on me to stop by for dinner. So I'm stoppin' by. And here's the plan. We go in. We eat. We out before the cheesecake. You got it?
Debra Morgan: I'm, what, your exit strategy?
Sergeant James Doakes: Look, you can stay out here if you want. That gives me a better excuse to leave earlier or... you can come in and have some free food. It's your call.
Sergeant James Doakes: Shit! My sisters are here, too.
Debra Morgan: Fucking family reunion!

Debra Morgan: Let me ask you a question. Why do you have it in for me?
Lt. Maria Laguerta: You're loud, you're impulsive, and you constantly question authority.
Debra Morgan: Fair enough.
Lt. Maria Laguerta: I hear you have an interesting theory on who...
[door shuts as Deb leaves]

Debra Morgan: I don't know, he's just got this spirit about him. Guy's missing body parts because of this Ice Truck Killer asshole, and he's still hitting on me.
Doakes's Mother: That's because men only think with one body part, and that one was not cut off.

"Dexter: The British Invasion (#2.12)" (2007)
Debra Morgan: What are we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex.

Debra Morgan: Put out an A.P.B. on Lila West, a.k.a: Lila Tourney. Suspected arsonist. 5'7", black hair, pale like a fucking corpse.
Uniform Cop: "Fucking corpse"? You got it.

Debra Morgan: You're a little weird, Dex.
Dexter Morgan: That's not gonna change. I'm gonna be this way forever.
Debra Morgan: I can live with that.

"Dexter: Dex Takes a Holiday (#4.4)" (2009)
[last lines]
Debra Morgan: [looking at a fatally wounded Frank Lundy] Stay with me...

Lt. Maria Laguerta: [Opening the door to Dexter's lab finding Dexter, Debra, and Frank Lundy on the floor... Debra and Frank Lundy are hiding from Lt Laguerta] Where's Masuka?
Dexter Morgan: ...On vacation.
Debra Morgan: He's probably in Mexico taking a donkey show tour.

Debra Morgan: Don't make me come up with thought bubbles to put over those silent looks of yours.

"Dexter: Morning Comes (#2.8)" (2007)
Debra Morgan: Bayharbour butcher is one of our own.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: We keep this to ourselves for now. Just the three of us.
Angel Batista: No, I'm gonna go tell it to a bottle of scotch.

Debra Morgan: You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss 'Pardon My Tits.' I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.

Special Agent Frank Lundy: Start peeling potatoes.
Debra Morgan: Oh, I like a man that takes control.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Wash your hands first.
Debra Morgan: You're so turning me on.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: You know, considering our age difference, you're not too old to spank.
Debra Morgan: No, stop, please. I can't control myself.

"Dexter: Popping Cherry (#1.3)" (2006)
[about going to the Captain behind LaGuerta's back]
Shanda: [Whistles]
Debra Morgan: What?
Bella: Never piss off your pimp.
Debra Morgan: LaGuerta's not my pimp.
Shanda: Is that right... bitch tell you what to do?
Bella: Is your pussy taking all the risk?
Prostitute #1: Does she steal everything you earn?
Debra Morgan: Yeah, she definitely does that.
Bella: She's your pimp, baby, and she will mess you up if you play her.

Dexter Morgan: Do you want a hug?
Debra Morgan: Fuck off.

"Dexter: Truth Be Told (#1.11)" (2006)
Sergeant Doakes: That him?
Debra Morgan: Yeah, how do you know?
Sergeant Doakes: Cause you have that stupid ass grin on your face again.

Debra Morgan: F*ck me!
Rudy Cooper: I believe your rule prohibits such action.

"Dexter: Shrink Wrap (#1.8)" (2006)
Sergeant James Doakes: Morgan, what took you so long?
Vince Masuka: Playing "hide the salami" with Mr. Prosthetics?
Debra Morgan: I don't fuck and tell.
Vince Masuka: Since when?
Debra Morgan: Can we go inside? I'm kind of wet.
Vince Masuka: [going to say something witty]
Debra Morgan: Don't!

[Debra knocks on the open door of the office where Rudy is working and shows her grinning face]
Rudy Cooper: [He holds up a prosthetic hand] Stay where you are! I'm armed.
Debra Morgan: [laughing] Bad puns?
[They share a passionate greeting kiss]
Debra Morgan: You said you needed a favor. What's up?
[She slides her hands inside his white coat to caress his torso]
Rudy Cooper: Take off your pants.
Debra Morgan: Oh, I should've known it was that kind of favor. You never ask me to come by before work.
Rudy Cooper: Mm, no, but I like the way you think. I have a patient who lost both her legs in a car accident. Really brutal.
Debra Morgan: Like your mom?
Rudy Cooper: [He nods] Which is why I want to do something special for her. I want to give her a new smokin' pair of legs. Yours.
Debra Morgan: No-ho!
Rudy Cooper: Let me just take a cast.
Debra Morgan: No way, no!
Rudy Cooper: It'll take twenty minutes, tops.
Debra Morgan: I don't want...
Rudy Cooper: Come on. Please? Stop being such a chick!
[He pulls her pants down, leaving her underwear alone]
Rudy Cooper: Sit down.

"Dexter: A Beautiful Day (#8.1)" (2013)
Debra Morgan: Fuck you. Do you wanna know why I'm not returning your phone calls? 'Cause I don't wanna talk to you. And I really don't wanna fuckin' see you.
Dexter Morgan: Why?
Debra Morgan: [laughs] "Why"? Um... because you made me compromise everything about myself that I care about.
[Deb takes another swig from the beer she hasn't paid for]
Debra Morgan: And I hate you for it.
Dexter Morgan: [disbelieving] No you don't.
Debra Morgan: I shot the wrong person in that trailer.

[repeated lines]
Debra Morgan: It's Deb. Leave a message.
Female voicemail voice: The user's mailbox is full.

"Dexter: Left Turn Ahead (#2.11)" (2007)
Debra Morgan: How do I find out Lila's real name?
Special Agent Frank Lundy: I think you know the answer to that.
Debra Morgan: Cut off her head, look for a label?
Special Agent Frank Lundy: There's probably an easier way.

Vince Masuka: Love is a battlefield.
Debra Morgan: Or in your case a restraining order.

"Dexter: Seeing Red (#1.10)" (2006)
Debra Morgan: Dexter, heads up. Bad in there.
Dexter Morgan: Ok.
Debra Morgan: I'm serious!
Dexter Morgan: Ok.
Sergeant Doakes: She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there.
Dexter Morgan: Okay...

Dexter Morgan: Oh, hi.
Debra Morgan: Hi.
Dexter Morgan: Oh, Masuka was looking for you. Something about drinks at the Bel Canto.
Debra Morgan: Yeah, I told him I had a yeast infection.
Dexter Morgan: A bit of an overshare.

"Dexter: Turning Biminese (#3.5)" (2008)
Angel Batista: There's this cold case I'm looking at. A dead John. Now when you were working vice did you bust the same places over and over again?
Debra Morgan: Uh, not really. Most guys are regulars so word gets out quick if a place is hot. So we move the decoys around
[Masuka approaches]
Debra Morgan: But if you really want to know about paying for sex you should talk to Masuka.
Angel Batista: Hey Vince, hold up. Did you get a chance to look at the Sheriff's Department forensics regarding their vic?
Vince Masuka: I fucking would if they'd fucking send it. I've called four fucking times!
Debra Morgan: Man, somebody needs a hug! I'd offer but I don't know what I'd catch!
Vince Masuka: Can I go now?
Debra Morgan: You know, I can take inappropriate Masuka, I can take porn loving Masuka, I can even take flatulent Masuka, but this dress shoe wearing, please and thank you zombie Masuka is fucking creeping me out!
Vince Masuka: Maybe I'm realizing no one around here is my friend. The only reason you people even acknowledge me is when you want something.
Angel Batista: That's not true. We put you on our bowling team!
Vince Masuka: Only because you wanted to keep everyone's handicap higher to sandbag the other teams.
Angel Batista: Okay, that's true but...
Vince Masuka: [interrupts] Not one person read my paper. Not one fucking person showed up at the conference I spoke at.
Debra Morgan: This is about yor stupid paper?
Vince Masuka: You guys just don't get it. You hurt my feelings.

Ramon Prado: I was also hoping I could speak with a couple of your previous witnesses.
Debra Morgan: Speak with? As in we didn't do it right the first time?
Ramon Prado: Cases evolve. Witnesses change their stories, junior personnel, they make mistakes.
[to Debra]
Ramon Prado: No disrespect.
Joey Quinn: Oh, whoa! Actually that's a lot of disrespect. You've come into our house twice, you not only insult our police work, now you're insulting one of the most dedicated officers I've ever partnered with
[to Debra]
Joey Quinn: Yes, you. It's bullshit, my man!
Ramon Prado: Let's not lose sight of the fact that we want the same thing here. To find whoever is responsible for these murders.
Vince Masuka: Uh, there is one slight problem. Your case has nothing to do with our case.
Angel Batista: The vic wasn't skinned?
Vince Masuka: Not like our previous victims. There were minute traces of papillary and reticular...
Angel Batista: [quietly to Masuka] English.
Vince Masuka: Someone dug out a tattoo from the back of her neck. Post mortem. Which is another reason why I don't think we're looking at the same killer. It's all right here in the County Medical Examiner's Report.
Ramon Prado: That's your opinion. My lab thinks differently.
Angel Batista: Let me see that!
Ramon Prado: You're not taking this seriously are you?
Debra Morgan: In a fucking heartbeat! Do you know how many times Vince Masuka's been published?
Angel Batista: He's our lead forensic investigator. And there's no one better.
Ramon Prado: Our victim was strangled, the same as yours.
Vince Masuka: Petechial hemorrhaging in the eyes and bruising would lead one to conclude strangulation. Unless you're me. You were so busy playing hide the sausage with the M.E.'s report you were hoping I'd miss the cotton fibers in the nose and airways. Your victim was smothered. That's not opinion, that's science. And science is one cold hearted bitch with a 14 inch strap on!
Debra Morgan: And he's back!

"Dexter: Easy as Pie (#3.7)" (2008)
Angel Batista: How much coffee have you had?
Debra Morgan: A metric fuck-ton.
Angel Batista: You should stop, it's giving you Tourettes.

Debra Morgan: Two of my witnesses have turned up dead. You wanna see a third?
Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Anton's already got a target on his back by helping us. This will protect him.
Debra Morgan: [Sarcastic] Yeah, right.
Angel Batista: I'm gonna keep Anton in the dark for now. But I want eyes on him at all times. Understand?
[Quinn nods and leaves. Dexter comes up to Deb]
Dexter Morgan: Hey, Deb?
Debra Morgan: What?
Dexter Morgan: Are you gonna bring a date to the wedding?
Debra Morgan: I don't know, Dex. I might be too busy picking up pieces of Anton's *skin* to even be there.
Dexter Morgan: ...So you're a "maybe"?

"Dexter: Waiting to Exhale (#2.2)" (2007)
[nearly trips on a suitcase and accidentally spills some water on it]
Debra Morgan: [angry] What fucking asshole left this here?
Special Agent Frank Lundy: It's, uh, Special Agent Fucking Asshole.

Debra Morgan: [Debra nearly trips over a suitcase] What fucking asshole left this here?
Special Agent Frank Lundy: It's Special Agent Fucking Asshole. Morgan, right?

"Dexter: It's Alive! (#2.1)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: You've been benched?
Debra Morgan: Yeah, LaGuerta's just jealous that the Ice Truck Killer fucked me instead of her.
Dexter Morgan: Wow.

"Dexter: Circle of Friends (#1.7)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: I hate to break this to you, Deb, but you know you've got the wrong guy here, right? The Ice Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.
Debra Morgan: Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.
Dexter Morgan: But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're lookin' for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.
Debra Morgan: How do you know?
Dexter Morgan: [pause] Because it is pathetic.

"Dexter: Helter Skelter (#7.9)" (2012)
Lt. Debra Morgan: Holy filet-o-fuck.

"Dexter: Hop a Freighter (#5.11)" (2010)
Det. Debra Morgan: The vigilante: she has someone in her life, a guy who's helping her, someone that would do anything and everything for her.
Dexter Morgan: How do you know that?
Det. Debra Morgan: Honestly, I don't know, but what they're doing takes devotion. To kill someone together, that's pretty serious shit!
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Is that what Lumen and I have, serious shit?
Det. Debra Morgan: He's risking his life. He's putting everything on the line to make what happened to her... right. As crazy as that sounds, what word you use to describe that but "love"?
[Dexter frowns and Debra sadly laughs]
Det. Debra Morgan: It's pretty fucked up, isn't it?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah... Pretty fucked up...
Det. Debra Morgan: Kind of beautiful too...

"Dexter: Those Kinds of Things (#6.1)" (2011)
Det. Debra Morgan: What is going on with you? You're acting so weird lately.
Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: [picks up glass, bringing it towards his mouth while maintaining eye contact] I'm not acting weird... I...
Det. Debra Morgan: [interrupts, eyebrows raised, smiling] You're about to drink the candle.

"Dexter: The Big One (#5.12)" (2010)
Det. Debra Morgan: [to Dexter and Lumen from behind a curtain] Don't move. Don't fucking move. Whatever's in yours arm, drop it now! Both of you!
[they both drop]
Det. Debra Morgan: I know who you are... Number 13... And I know what they did to you! I've seen the tapes... I watched them over and over... It's a miracle you survived! A fucking miracle! And you
[to Dexter, not knowing - maybe - that's him]
Det. Debra Morgan: whoever you are, you know that too...
[Both Dexter and Lumen try to duck, but Debra shoots over their heads]
Det. Debra Morgan: I said: don't fucking move! Maybe it's true some people deserves to die, but I'm a cop, and I don't make that fucking decision! So I'm gonna call this in! In an hour, this place will be swarming with police!... If I were you I'd be gone by then...

"Dexter: That Night, a Forest Grew (#2.7)" (2007)
Debra Morgan: [Debra walks into Dexter's bedroom. There are dozens of lit candles around the room] Who's the skank?
Dexter Morgan: Deb, did knocking occur to you?
Debra Morgan: Who is she? And, are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?

"Dexter: Do You Take Dexter Morgan? (#3.12)" (2008)
Debra Morgan: [getting dressed for the wedding] Ugh, a dress. I feel like a transvestite.

"Dexter: The Angel of Death (#6.5)" (2011)
Lt. Debra Morgan: Maybe I do need to go to therapy.
Dexter Morgan: No more than me.
Lt. Debra Morgan: Am I that fucked up?

"Dexter: Beauty and the Beast (#5.4)" (2010)
Debra Morgan: Fuck me in both ears.

"Dexter: A Horse of a Different Color (#6.4)" (2011)
Lt. Debra Morgan: Goddamn pantyhose! Has anyone ever died from crotch asphyxiation?

"Dexter: What's Eating Dexter Morgan? (#8.3)" (2013)
[staking out and photographic a husband cheating on his wife with another woman in his truck]
Debra Morgan: [bored] Are you getting all this?
Jacob Elway: Yeah. This guy's makin' it waay too easy for us.
Debra Morgan: [shown the camera screen by Elway] Yeah, it's really fucking classy.
Jacob Elway: [continuing to snap pictures] So tell me, who's the guy that dropped you off this mornin'?
Debra Morgan: Who? Quinn? He's a friend.
Jacob Elway: The kind of friend that drops you off in last night's clothes, huh?
Debra Morgan: God, we're not sleeping together, if that's what you're implying. Not that it's any of your fuckin' business.
Jacob Elway: Woah, woah, woah. No judgment, no judgment, no judgment. You are certainly allowed to be a player, if you so choose.
Debra Morgan: [scoffing laughter] What makes you think I'm a player?
Jacob Elway: First, there's Briggs, then there's, uh, your new friend.
Debra Morgan: Well, he's not a new friend. We used to date, just not anymore.
Jacob Elway: Really? So what happened?
Debra Morgan: He proposed. I said no.
Jacob Elway: Jesus Christ. He's certainly a better man than I am. Woman turns down my proposal, I'm pretty fucking sure I'm not gonna stay friends with her.
Debra Morgan: Yeah, but that's just because you're a giant pussy.
Jacob Elway: [laughs]
Debra Morgan, Jacob Elway: [both laugh]
Jacob Elway: Yes. Could be.
Debra Morgan: [laughs anew]

"Dexter: Circle Us (#5.7)" (2010)
Debra Morgan: Shit a brick and fuck me with it. You're never gonna guess who this vehicle is registered to. Jordan Chase.

"Dexter: Lost Boys (#4.10)" (2009)
Debra Morgan: Hey, Dex. Where are you off to?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Kill the guy you're looking for. Save a kid. Remember to pick up diapers.

"Dexter: Swim Deep (#7.5)" (2012)
Lt. Debra Morgan: [to Sgt. Batista] Mike's killer is dead... Mike got justice... Let it go... That's an order!

"Dexter: Dirty Harry (#4.5)" (2009)
Det. Debra Morgan: It doesn't matter what I do or what I choose I'm what's wrong. There's nothing I can do about it. If I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting everyone around me. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm... I'm broken.

"Dexter: Hungry Man (#4.9)" (2009)
Vince Masuka: Chocolate Lava Cakes. My specialty!
Debra Morgan: You have a specialty?
Vince Masuka: A river of chocolate love that melts in your mouth!
Debra Morgan: Wow!
[smiles wryly]
Debra Morgan: You can make anything sound perverted!
Vince Masuka: [with a typical Masuka shit eating grin] It's a gift!

"Dexter: Living the Dream (#4.1)" (2009)
Vince Masuka: Talk about your blood bath!
[goofy laugh]
Vince Masuka: Tough room. Okay, femoral artery's severed. She bled out in minutes.
Joey Quinn: Suicide?
Debra Morgan: No weapon on the premises.
Vince Masuka: The coroner can suck my uncircumcised dick if he doesn't rule this a homicide!
Debra Morgan: That's way TMI, Masuka. Employment records show she just got promoted to Sous Chef.
Vince Masuka: A total babe! And she could cook! Had it all goin' on!
Debra Morgan: And then, this.
Dexter Morgan: It's a very well organized crime scene. The assailant took his time, cleaned up after himself.
[voice over]
Dexter Morgan: Obviously doesn't have kids.

"Dexter: Finding Freebo (#3.2)" (2008)
Kitty: Don't look familiar hon.
Petunia: [pointing at picture of victim] Oooh, but those are some fine streaks. Who did her hair?
Debra Morgan: Christophe, of Beverly fucking Hills.
Petunia: Yeah... Do you have his number?

"Dexter: Go Your Own Way (#3.10)" (2008)
Debra Morgan: Fucking penguins!

"Dexter: Argentina (#7.8)" (2012)
Lt. Debra Morgan: [to Dexter] You're a serial killer and I'm more fucked up than you are!

"Dexter: Are You...? (#7.1)" (2012)
Lt. Debra Morgan: Are you... Are you a serial killer?
Dexter Morgan: Yes.

"Dexter: Born Free (#1.12)" (2006)
[Debra has been kidnapped and bound by Rudy Cooper/Brian Moser, who empties a bag full of surgical supplies, including a saw, in front of her while she cries]
Off. Debra Morgan: This isn't you!
Rudy Cooper: Pretty sure it is.

"Dexter: Let's Give the Boy a Hand (#1.4)" (2006)
Angel Batista: Where's your brother?
Debra Morgan: I'm not his keeper.

"Dexter: Just Let Go (#6.6)" (2011)
Joey Quinn: Maybe you're jealous.
Lt. Debra Morgan: Are you kidding? I could give a fuck who you fuck. Just don't fuck with my investigation, you fuck!

"Dexter: See-Through (#2.4)" (2007)
Off. Debra Morgan: I took your advice.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: My advice?
Off. Debra Morgan: To get out and have some fun. Got laid big-time.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: [In a way that tells he conciders this to much information] Oh. Well.
Off. Debra Morgan: Oh... Oh, I mean... I don't usually just go to the gym and pick up strangers.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: The Gym?
Off. Debra Morgan: Really, you have to save me here, or I'm gonna go outside and shoot myself.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: The way you're going, you'd probably miss.

"Dexter: First Blood (#5.5)" (2010)
Sgt. Angel Batista: [asking whether or not Deb would sleep with McCourt] Would you ever...
Det. Debra Morgan: I would rather put out a campfire with my face.

"Dexter: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (#3.3)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: Rita's pregnant.
Off. Debra Morgan: Say it again.
Dexter Morgan: Rita's pregnant.
Off. Debra Morgan: You're lying.
Dexter Morgan: I'm not lying
Off. Debra Morgan: A baby? A motherfucking rolly-poly, chubby, cheeked, shit machine? Are you kidding me?
Dexter Morgan: I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.