Jake Doyle
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Quotes for
Jake Doyle (Character)
from "Republic of Doyle" (2010)

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"Republic of Doyle: The Pen Is Mightier Than the Doyle (#1.10)" (2010)
Garrison Steele: You're far too immature for a relationship!
Jake Doyle: ...Hack!

Leslie Bennett: Doyle, you're at the site of a homicide. Stop hittin' on me!
Jake Doyle: I'm not hittin' on ya, it's a compliment!

Garrison Steele: Desmond packed me a lunch.
Jake Doyle: Wha... He didn't pack me a lunch.
Garrison Steele: Obviously he likes me better.

Garrison Steele: I'm telling you, its the jealous boyfriend. He has motive, he has lust...
Jake Doyle: He has asthma.

Garrison Steele: He's special... this hero.
Jake Doyle: [touched, assumes he means him] That right?
Garrison Steele: No, I mean special. He's mentally retarded.

Garrison Steele: Do you know why I get so many women?
Jake Doyle: [pause] Lemon gin?

Jake Doyle: They were drilling the same woman... why not the same oil patch?


"Republic of Doyle: The Tell-Tale Safe (#1.8)" (2010)
Jake Doyle: Why is it every time you talk I get the urge to punch you in the face?
Des Courtney: ...cause you're mean?

Jake Doyle: It's gonna be hard to divide $50 between three people.
Malachy Doyle: I told you, 'trees' are in the garden. It's one, two, three!

Jake Doyle: I know a couple of b'ys in the Goulds that'll take care of this real quick like. They might even pay me for the opportunity.


"Republic of Doyle: Fathers and Sons (#1.1)" (2010)
Jake Doyle: We're not listening to you 'cause you tells lies.

Malachy Doyle: You nearly killed the both of ye!
Jake Doyle: I'd ask you to come down and help me, but of course you'll never get your walker down here.

Malachy Doyle: Could we have a look at the surveillance footage?
Jake Doyle: For this day?
Registation Sign-In Guard: [pause] What are you on, glue?
Malachy Doyle: [pause] Maybe not.
Jake Doyle: Thanks Reg, for your help!
Registation Sign-In Guard: [to Jake] Doyle? Next time I see you at the Goulds Track, walk the other way.


"Republic of Doyle: The Woman Who Knew Too Little (#1.7)" (2010)
Jake Doyle: What do you really want?
Shamrock Tough: What I always wanted Jake. The Airport Heights.

Jake Doyle: Don't worry about it, it was Des' idea, and he's like... 9 tenths retard.


"Republic of Doyle: He Sleeps with the Chips (#1.9)" (2010)
Jake Doyle: How was jail fadder?
Malachy Doyle: Dandy, they're talking about naming a wing after you.

Des Courtney: This is like camping!
Jake Doyle: Des, can you try not to act like such a weirdo for five minutes?


"Republic of Doyle: The One Who Got Away (#1.6)" (2010)
Jake Doyle: For most of my life, I always thought of you as the one that got away, you know? And I liked it. So I have to make sure that you STAY away.


"Republic of Doyle: The Common Wealth (#4.6)" (2013)
Leslie Bennett: Monica Hayward let Natalie get the best of her. She took Hayward's clothes, gun, and escaped out the front door.
Jake Doyle: Her clothes...? Does that mean that Monica's running around here naked somewhere?