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: What have the French got to offer us? Citroëns and snails, that's all. Clayton
: You know, I can't understand how they can eat them kind of creatures. Ted Trotter
: Have you ever seen a snail close-up? Looks like a bogie in a crash-helmet!
[Reg threatens to punch Joan in the eyes
] Del Trotter
: What did you just say to her? Joan Trotter
: Del, do what I do: just ignore him. Reg Trotter
: Yeah, keep your nose out son. That way, it won't get broke. Del Trotter
: Oh, is that right? Well there's a yard out there, so come on, John Wayne, show me how it's done! Ted Trotter
: Del, leave it, son. Del Trotter
: Stay out of it, Grandad!
[Del and Reg stare menacingly at each other for a few moments
] Reg Trotter
: Ah, can't be bothered with all this! I'm going down the pub. Barmaid's got better drinks on the slate!
[at the dinner table, Joan tries out a French phrase that Freddie the Frog has taught her
] Joan Trotter
: J'adore un soixante-neuf. Ted Trotter
: She all right? Reg Trotter
: What's that? Joan Trotter
: It's French. Del Trotter
: Where did you learn that? Joan Trotter
: At the flicks. A Brigitte Bardot film. Vi Trotter
: What's it mean? Joan Trotter
: I was told it means "I am enjoying this dinner".
: What's that racket you put on in there now? Joan Trotter
: It's Johnnie Ray. Reg Trotter
: What d'you wanna listen to that poof for? Joan Trotter
: Don't call him a poof! He's deaf in one ear! Reg Trotter
: At least he don't have to listen to it.
[Joan and Del have been talking about Rodney's dirty nappy. Vi arrives to baby-sit. Ted comes into the room
] Ted Trotter
] Oh God, that's lovely to to wake up to, ain't it? Reg Trotter
: It's only a shitty nappy. Ted Trotter
: No, I'm talking about your nan. Eighteen months ago I walked out of that flat in Deptford to get away from her, and now she's here. Reg Trotter
: Well go back to the flat in Deptford, then.