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Quotes for
Mad March (Character)
from "Alice" (2009)

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"Alice: Episode #1.1" (2009)
Queen of Hearts: Mad March, how are you today?
Mad March: Piss off, you cow.

Queen of Hearts: [demanding to see the rejuvenated Mad March, her favorite assassin] Well? Where is he? I don't see him.
Carpenter: Uh, before I present Mad March, I feel I should warn - er, prepare you...
Queen of Hearts: What?
Carpenter: In the interest of expediency, I've had to make some... technical adjustments.
King of Hearts: What *are* you talking about?
Carpenter: ...Short cuts?
Queen of Hearts: [dangerously] How short?
[the Carpenter tries to explain, gives up, sighs, and turns to the door. It opens to reveal Mad March, who now has an animatronic porcelain rabbit head that was formerly a cookie jar]
Queen of Hearts: [rising from her throne] What on Earth have you done to him?
Carpenter: Think of him as a... hybrid, Majesty. In many ways he is better than before.
King of Hearts: We don't need a user manual, do we? I hate user manuals.
Carpenter: [the Queen approaches Mad March] Uh, not too close... he's still finding his way.
Queen of Hearts: [circling Mad March] Does he have all his old skills? Forensics, tracking, homicidal mania?
Carpenter: I believe so.
Queen of Hearts: Believe so?
Carpenter: There wasn't much time for testing.
Queen of Hearts: Does he speak?
[Carpenter shrugs helplessly]
Queen of Hearts: Let's try him out, then.
[slowly and loudly]
Queen of Hearts: Mad March. How are you today?
Mad March: [with a mechnical, Bronx-accented voice] Piss... off... you... cow.
[everyone looks, terrified, at the Queen for her reaction]
Queen of Hearts: [delighted] Excellent!
Queen of Hearts: He's good as new!