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Quotes for
Walter Simmons (Character)
from "CSI: Miami" (2002)

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"CSI: Miami: Terminal Velocity (#10.13)" (2012)
Ryan Wolfe: What is that?
Walter Simmons: Looks like some kind of sandwich baggie.
Ryan Wolfe: I thought it was heat that burnt the ropes, but really it was the acid that came from that sandwich bag.
Walter Simmons: Dilute the acid. Take at least a couple hours to burn through the plastic. We're looking at a poor man's timing device.
Ryan Wolfe: I think we need to figure out who packed that chute.

Ryan Wolfe: Hey, Walter, when are you and I going up?
Walter Simmons: Up? Up where?
Ryan Wolfe: Up in an airplane. When are we gonna jump out of an airplane together?
Walter Simmons: No. No, no, no.
Ryan Wolfe: No?
Walter Simmons: No. No, the parachute is made for when the plane is crashing. You see, jumping out of a good one is just stupid.
Ryan Wolfe: Oh, you're being such a baby. You know, statistically, it's actually pretty safe.
Walter Simmons: Let's ask Kevin how safe it is. Kevin! Kev... Oh, right, Kevin's dead.
Ryan Wolfe: Walter, too soon.


"CSI: Miami: Bone Voyage (#8.7)" (2009)
[while searching for evidence, Ryan and Walter come face to face with a brown bear]
Ryan Wolfe: You need to make yourself small and non threatening
Walter Simmons: I *can't* make myself small and non threatening!
Ryan Wolfe: Well, then, you just need to outrun the bear
Walter Simmons: I don't need to outrun the bear - I just need to outrun you!

Walter Simmons: [finding an amputated leg] Visible decomp. Been here over a week, easy.
Ryan Wolfe: Ashley's only been missing a day. This leg doesn't belong to her.
Walter Simmons: Where you going?
Ryan Wolfe: I'm calling Horatio. This went from a missing person to a double murder.


"CSI: Miami: Point of Impact (#8.8)" (2009)
Jesse Cardoza: Patrol just got back to us. License plate belongs to a Billy Jones.
Walter Simmons: Okay. Well, where the hell is he?
Jesse Cardoza: Uh, he wasn't here. Reported it stolen last night.
Walter Simmons: That means somebody jacked the car, caused a crash that killed the woman, and fled. Guy's a one-man crime spree.
Jesse Cardoza: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't even know which car caused the accident yet.
Walter Simmons: Well, we know innocent people don't flee the scene.


"CSI: Miami: Meltdown (#8.21)" (2010)
Walter Simmons: This shouldn't be turned on.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: How do you mean?
Walter Simmons: I disconnected the battery before I processed it, and I left it that way.
IAB Lieutenant Rick Stetler: Battery's still connected.
Walter Simmons: Yeah, I got eyes, pal.


"CSI: Miami: Sinner Takes All (#10.7)" (2011)
Walter Simmons: Suspect description, same as the Bal Harbor robbery, H - devil mask, a TEC-9 automatic.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: So it's him again, isn't, Walter?
Walter Simmons: Yup. Makes it what, ten big games that he's hit so far? Wonder how much he got away with this time. One, maybe two million? Huh... All right, so the chandelier must have gotten hit when the robber opened fire. Dropped on this poor bastard who picked the wrong seat, crushing him to death.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Maybe not, Walter. That's a bullet hole.
Walter Simmons: Look at that. Sure is. Glass from the broken chandelier bulbs inside the wound means that he was shot before the chandelier fell on him.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Collateral damage from the shooting.
Walter Simmons: Guy's never shot anybody before, H. He's making mistakes.
Lieutenant Horatio Caine: Yes, he is, Walter. And we all pay for our mistakes.


"CSI: Miami: Caged (#9.19)" (2011)
Walter Simmons: Get out of here, before we arrest you for extreme stupidity.