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Quotes for
Albert Dudley (Character)
from "Marblehead Manor" (1987)

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"Marblehead Manor: Gorilla My Dreams (#1.23)" (1988)
[the gorilla roars at Albert]
Albert Dudley: [groans] Your breath! Have you been at the mackerel pate again?

Albert Dudley: Well, who are you, then?
Rick: He's a real gorilla!
[everybody runs]

[the gorilla abducts Mr Stonehill]
Dwayne Stockton: I sure hope he has his wame shut!
Albert Dudley: ...Which one?
Dwayne Stockton: The gorilla!


"Marblehead Manor: Baby on Board (#1.16)" (1988)
Albert Dudley: Where did this baby come from?
Rick: Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much...

Albert Dudley: We're in big trouble here, Rick has stolen a baby!
Dwayne Stockton: A-and?
Albert Dudley: And we've got a problem! Think of the scandal! Stonehill's stock will plummet, and we'll all be out of a job!

[Despite the efforts of Rick, Albert and Dwayne, the baby keeps crying]
Rick: Albert, I think I've found the problem.
Albert Dudley: You have? Then would you care to share it with us, hmmm?
Rick: His pants are all ishy.
Albert Dudley: Ishy? Ishy? And what, pray, is the definition of... oh.
[all three awkwardly withdraw their hands]
Dwayne Stockton: Well, I'm not gonna change him!
Rick: [puts on his gardening gloves] I'll do it.
Albert Dudley: No, no, no, I'll do it!
[speaks to the baby in a soothing manner]
Albert Dudley: Now, now, it's all right, Uncle Albert's here... there we go.
[removes the baby's diaper, and the baby pees on him]
Dwayne Stockton: Aww, it's a boy!


"Marblehead Manor: Amusing Grace (#1.21)" (1988)
Jerry Stockton: A mnemonic is a word or a rhyme that will help you remember something. For instance:
[holds up a butter knife]
Jerry Stockton: "This knife's not a cutter / It's used for butter."
Rick: The knife's not a cutter... it's used for butter.
Jerry Stockton: [holds up a spoon] "This spoon is wee / It's used for tea!"
Rick: [gets it] This spoon is wee / It's used for tea!
Albert Dudley: [looks at a glass] Well, now... "This glass is for wine, a meal to enhance"...
Rick: You drink too much, you'll wet your pants!
[Albert hits Rick with his hat]

Albert Dudley: Your salad, sir!
Rick: "Salad, my friend / Use the fork on the end!"