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Quotes for
Mozzie (Character)
from "White Collar" (2009)

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"White Collar: On Guard (#3.1)" (2011)
Neal Caffrey: The last person who mixed these paints was Picasso. Taking from the masters.
Mozzie: Ah, Picasso was a communist, he'd be happy to share.

Mozzie: Your timing is impeccable, J. Edgar.
Peter Burke: Sorry, Amelia.

Mozzie: I have procured our getaway vehicle.
[reveals small model of a twin-prop airplane]
Mozzie: . Voilà, behold. The 400 series Twin Otter.
Neal Caffrey: Is it big enough?
Mozzie: Think of it as a Kardashian. What it lacks in refinement, it makes up for in cargo space.

"White Collar: Under the Radar (#2.16)" (2011)
Mozzie: I'm not comfortable with this.
Clinton Jones, Diana Barrigan, Sara Ellis: We know.
Diana Barrigan: We're not abducting you.
Mozzie: Well, can I get out?
Clinton Jones: No.
Mozzie: Well, then it feels like an abduction.

Sara Ellis: [knocks on door to Neal's apartment] Neal ?
[door opens revealing Mozzie]
Sara Ellis: Not Neal.
Mozzie: And you're not a strawberry blonde with a penchant for Voltaire. I guess we're both disappointed.

"White Collar: Ancient History (#4.8)" (2012)
Mozzie: Things were so much simpler when she just vanished; now I have to hide for the remainder of my natural life.
Neal Caffrey: Your natural life is constituted primarily of hiding.
Mozzie: Exactly. I don't need any supplemental hiding.

Peter Burke: I don't trust you touching my wires.
Mozzie: Oh, I wouldn't either.

"White Collar: Parting Shots (#4.4)" (2012)
Mozzie: Widows fall into two categories; the bereaved and the relieved.

Mozzie: Fellow ornithologist?
Bertie Slavkin: What kind of bird you watching?
Mozzie: The kind that steals nest and flies south real fast.

"White Collar: Controlling Interest (#5.4)" (2013)
Neal Caffrey: How much longer are you staying here?
Mozzie: Just until I get myself onto some financial secure footing. Okay if I air-dry on the terrace?
Neal Caffrey: No, Moz. Tell me how I can help?
Mozzie: Big Brother burned through all my resources; no safe houses, no capital. What's worst - the Federal Bureau of Invasion has confined you to this impenetrable dog pound.
Neal Caffrey: It's my apartment.
Mozzie: A sublimely spacious cell.
Neal Caffrey: Does that make you my cell mate?
Mozzie: I prefer the term "miss incarcerated"
Neal Caffrey: That sounds like you just won a prison pagent.
Mozzie: A: I could. B: I'll think of a better term.

Peter Burke: What are you, gonna carry him?
[after Mozzie says he'll carry Neal who is passed out]
Mozzie: I'll have you know I've been doing a lot of wrist curls.

"White Collar: Power Play (#2.15)" (2011)
Peter Burke: Moz, the US government is Not conducting mind control experiments
Mozzie: Hah! That's what they Made you think

Peter Burke: [holds up a DVD] Tales of the FBI's classified files.
Sara Ellis: Peter figured out why Adler's so interested in Wagner.
Mozzie: Excellent. Top secret movies! I'll make popcorn.
Neal Caffrey: Butter, please.

"White Collar: Uncontrolled Variables (#6.3)" (2014)
Mozzie: Suit.
Mozzie: Le Suit.

Mozzie: Looks like I brought a lightsaber to a knife fight.

"White Collar: Vital Signs (#1.10)" (2010)
Mozzie: [about the charity representative Neal is meeting] Already I don't trust this woman.
Neal Caffrey: Why, because she drove here?
Mozzie: A New Yorker who does not take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.
Neal Caffrey: I don't take the subway.
Mozzie: Precisely.
Neal Caffrey: She left her briefcase in the back. All right, Mozz, I need a favor. Break into her car.
Mozzie: That's not so much a favor as a truly horrible idea. It's one o'clock in the afternoon. There's a reason most crimes happen at night: people can't see you!

[In order to break into a hospital, Neal is pretending to be a doctor bringing in Mozzie, a mental patient]
Mozzie: I promise, I will never even think about going up in a tall building again. Oh God. Please don't let me die.
Neal Caffrey: Hi, I'm here to drop off a patient.
Mozzie: Fists with your toes.
Registered Nurse: Uh, mental health services doesn't have anyone scheduled to come in today.
Mozzie: Let's see you take this under advisement, Jerkweed!
Neal Caffrey: Right, they wouldn't have said anything. Um... this is a bit sensitive. The mayor asked for it to be done quietly. It's his nephew. I can't exactly give you his name, but he thinks he's...
Neal Caffrey: BRUCE! Bruce!
Mozzie: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans.
Neal Caffrey: You've gotta get him in to see Dr. Westlake right away.
Registered Nurse: I'll ring him now.
[reaches for phone]
Neal Caffrey: Oh! Wait, wait, hold on. If my patient sees you making a call, he might get upset, he might think you're alerting the bad guys. I'll just take him to Dr. Westlake myself. It's
[looks at list on wall]
Neal Caffrey: room 207, right?
Registered Nurse: Right.
Neal Caffrey: Right.
[to Mozzie]
Neal Caffrey: On your feet, Bruce.
[to nurse]
Neal Caffrey: Thank you.
Mozzie: [to nurse] Welcome to the party, pal!

"White Collar: Empire City (#4.13)" (2013)
Mozzie: [picking Neal up in a cab] Hey. Where to?
Neal Caffrey: Ellen once mentioned she liked to watch the tugboats from Brooklyn Bridge Park.
Mozzie: Hmm, tugboats. Seriously?
Neal Caffrey: I know I'm grasping at straws.
[Mozzie sets the cab meter]
Neal Caffrey: Moz, I'm not paying you for the ride.
Mozzie: Oh, you are if we're going to Brooklyn.

"White Collar: Front Man (#1.13)" (2010)
Neal Caffrey: You're being paranoid.
Mozzie: Paranioa is a skill; the secret to longevity.

"White Collar: As You Were (#3.8)" (2011)
Mozzie: For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about Sara. She has an infectious joie de vivre, and she looks terrific in pantsuits.
Neal Caffrey: Promise me you'll never speak at my funeral.

"White Collar: What Happens in Burma (#2.12)" (2011)
Neal Caffrey: We're not rewriting history. Let's keep it simple.
Mozzie: Note my immediate boredom.

"White Collar: Veiled Threat (#3.5)" (2011)
[Peter and Elizabeth are renewing their wedding vows]
Neal Caffrey: Preacher's here.
Peter Burke: That was fast.
Mozzie: Sorry I'm late.
Peter Burke: Don't tell me he's been ordained.
Neal Caffrey: Twice.
Peter Burke: Tax dodge?
Mozzie: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, like I pay taxes.

"White Collar: Judgment Day (#3.16)" (2012)
Mozzie: Behind every worst case scenario there is a worse, worst case scenario.
Neal Caffrey: Is there a child somewhere whose balloon you need to pop?

"White Collar: Vested Interest (#4.10)" (2012)
Mozzie: I brought a corkscrew to a gun fight.

"White Collar: Checkmate (#3.11)" (2012)
Mozzie: Is there anyone in this room you haven't tried to kill?
Matthew Keller: You. Yet.

"White Collar: Payback (#2.14)" (2011)
Mozzie: I'm sorry. The longest relationship I've had is 11 days. And then she deflated. I'm kidding. Go on.

"White Collar: Brass Tacks (#4.12)" (2013)
Mozzie: Neal...
Clinton Jones: Peter...
Neal Caffrey: Mozz...
Peter Burke: Jones!

"White Collar: Compromising Positions (#4.7)" (2012)
Peter Burke: Where did you come from?
Mozzie: Fourty-five years ago an enigma gave a paradox a very special hug.

"White Collar: On the Fence (#3.9)" (2011)
Mozzie: I hear she's spicy.
Neal Caffrey: What does that mean?
Mozzie: I don't know. Not all of my advice is helpful.

"White Collar: Point Blank (#2.9)" (2010)
Mozzie: Suit, we have a code red.
Peter Burke: Now is not the time, Mozzie.
Mozzie: It's a dark day when I turn towards the system instead of recoiling.
Peter Burke: Just spit it out.
Mozzie: Remember when you asked me to tell you if Neal was gonna do something stupid? Well, I regretfully report that... he's out of his anklet.
Peter Burke: Damn it!
Mozzie: But that's not the stupid part. He's got a gun.

"White Collar: Honor Among Thieves (#4.5)" (2012)
Mozzie: I should really frisk her for weapons before I go.
Abigail Kincaid: Try and I'll break your little fingers.
Mozzie: She's clean.

"White Collar: Out of the Box (#1.14)" (2010)
Neal Caffrey: Let's cut it
[Neal's anklet]
Neal Caffrey: off. Wanna do the honors?
Mozzie: I feel like I should make a toast or something. "We feel free when we escape, even if it be but from the frying pan into the fire." Eric Hoffer.
[Mozzie cuts Neal's anklet]
Mozzie: No sirens.
Neal Caffrey: Into the fire.

"White Collar: Shoot the Moon (#4.14)" (2013)
Mozzie: [Neal is picking up Satchmo to dog-sit] Wait, the suit actually gave you access to his house?
Neal Caffrey: Yes, Moz.
Mozzie: Unwise. We should teach him a lesson. I'm thinking micro-cam in a lampshade. He'll find it, of course, but that's the point.
Neal Caffrey: We're picking up Satchmo and we're leaving, all right?
Mozzie: Fine. I don't see why you'd want to pass up a prime opportunity such as this, but whatever. Whoa! Seriously? Boxed wine? We got to get out of here.

"White Collar: Identity Crisis (#4.6)" (2012)
Mozzie: [to Neal and Peter] Somebody's trying to kill me.
Peter Burke: What? Why am I not surprised?

"White Collar: Pilot (#1.1)" (2009)
Mozzie: You know the worst thing about art forgery? You can't take credit for your work.

"White Collar: Deadline (#3.3)" (2011)
Mozzie: Get a room!
Sara Ellis: We are in a room!
Neal Caffrey: MY room!

"White Collar: Diamond Exchange (#5.13)" (2014)
Neal Caffrey: Stay calm.
Mozzie: Stay calm? I'm hours away from palming St. Peter a twenty to get passed the gate!

"White Collar: Borrowed Time (#6.1)" (2014)
Mozzie: [Peter hears an intruder at the back door and approaches it with his gun drawn] Don't shoot! I'm armed only with comfort food.
Peter Burke: Mozzie, what the hell are you doing here?
Mozzie: Mrs. Suit asked me to make sure you eat something not made out of green clovers and purple horseshoes. Less magically delicious.

"White Collar: All's Fair (#6.4)" (2014)
Mozzie: I'm alone by nature. And I have my bees.

"White Collar: Pulling Strings (#3.14)" (2012)
Mozzie: Neal, we are conmen, grifters, mountebanks, flim-flammers. We have to keep our skills sharp.
Neal Caffrey: Flim-flammers?
Mozzie: See, I'm already becoming a dinosaur. Look, I get that you have to play Boy Scout until your commutation hearing, but you are seriously hindering my primal instinct.
Neal Caffrey: I don't think a few more weeks will render you extinct, winosaurus.

"White Collar: Au Revoir (#6.6)" (2014)
Homeless Man: Are you wanna them mole people?
[as Mozzie prepares to go down a sewer hole he has just opened]
Mozzie: I'm their leader.

"White Collar: Bad Judgment (#1.9)" (2010)
Elizabeth Burke: [Moz is sweeping the Burke's house for bugs] So, um, you sure he won't try anything?
Neal Caffrey: Do you have any rare paintings or coins?
Elizabeth Burke: No.
Neal Caffrey: Then you'll be okay.
Mozzie: [offscreen] Is this Gorham silverware? It's rather unique.
Neal Caffrey: Maybe you should keep an eye on him.
Elizabeth Burke: Yeah.

"White Collar: Out of the Frying Pan (#5.2)" (2013)
David Siegel: [holding Mozzie at gunpoint] Get your hands up. You're not going anywhere.
Mozzie: Uh, tell that to Emil Berliner.
[remotely activates a gramophone, distracting Siegel, and runs off]

"White Collar: Whack-A-Mole (#6.5)" (2014)
Mozzie: Oh, I'm under strict doctor's orders to avoid all manual labor.

"White Collar: Countdown (#3.10)" (2011)
Neal Caffrey: We've got a problem.
Mozzie: I think we should maybe copyright that phrase.

"White Collar: In the Wind (#4.16)" (2013)
James Bennett: [entering Neal's apartment] Hey, Neal, you awake?
Neal Caffrey: What are you doing here so early?
James Bennett: Guess you didn't get Peter's call.
Neal Caffrey: Uh, no. I was sleeping. What's going on?
James Bennett: He didn't get into specifics. Just said we ought to meet here right away.
[Sara enters from the bedroom]
James Bennett: Didn't know you had company.
Neal Caffrey: I've got company.
James Bennett: I'm Neal's dad. You must be Kate.
Sara Ellis: Uh, Neal?
Neal Caffrey: I haven't told him everything.
James Bennett: Oh, sorry. Alex.
Sara Ellis: It's Sara.
James Bennett: The insurance investigator.
Sara Ellis: He shoots, he scores.
James Bennett: I should've brought more coffee.
Sara Ellis: Are more people coming?
Mozzie: [entering the apartment] Greetings, fellow conspirators.
Sara Ellis: Of course.
Mozzie: Who called Sara?
Sara Ellis: No one called me.
Mozzie: [taking a coffee cup from James] Well, here, take this. It's too late for caffeine.
Peter Burke: [entering the apartment] Oh, good, you're all here. Who called Sara?
Neal Caffrey: Okay, how is it possible that three grown men don't understand what's going on here?

"White Collar: Copycat Caffrey (#2.3)" (2010)
Mozzie: Tell him you'll cut off his hands if he doesn't pay up.
Clinton Jones: What?
Mozzie: It's the Detroit mob, not the Girl Scouts.

"White Collar: Hard Sell (#1.8)" (2010)
Mozzie: Okay. So. Fowler wants the music box, let's give it to him. Where is it?
Neal Caffrey: I don't have it.
Mozzie: What? You told everyone you had it.
Neal Caffrey: I never told anyone. Everyone assumed I took it and I never corrected them.
Mozzie: It did make you appear... superhuman.
Neal Caffrey: Image is everything.