From Man of the Year
The difference between a stand-up comic and a rock star is this: Women don't rush the stage and holler at the comic, "This is *your* child!" No, if women throw their underwear on stage for us comics... that's because they need it fluffed, folded and back by Friday.
I once threw my undies at Paris Hilton, and they stuck to her. Then there was the time I threw my underwear at George Michael; he threw it back.
There was one time I threw my undies at Britney Spears, because it looked like she needed to borrow a pair. On another occasion, I threw my underwear at Michael Jackson; he immediately put it over his son's head.