Max Greevey
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Quotes for
Max Greevey (Character)
from "Law & Order" (1990)

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"Law & Order: By Hooker, by Crook (#1.7)" (1990)
Jolene Curtis: I thought you said you weren't a cop.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: I lied.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [on Jasmine being bailed out quickly] Look at that. In and out.
Detective Mike Logan: Just like work.
Laura Winthrop: I'm only as fast as the man I'm with, you look like you'd be under a minute.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: What do you think?
Detective Mike Logan: Of a hooker who's got a lawyer looks like he spends more on clothes than I make in a year? I think whoever's paying his bill ought to adopt me.

Detective Mike Logan: Come on, Max, a lot of vics have kids.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Yeah, but until you have one of your own, you won't understand.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: He gonna make it?
Doctor: Nurse's pool says no.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: How much is in it?
Doctor: Thirty bucks.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: If they were sure, there'd be at least a hundred.
Doctor: He's got a chance.

Doctor: Whoever hit him in the head wasn't trying to kill him.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [dryly] I'm sure his family will be relieved to hear that.


"Law & Order: Poison Ivy (#1.8)" (1990)
[the trial of a policeman has just ended in his suicide]
Ben Stone: It's the last one, no more cops, it's too hard.
D/Sgt. Max Greevey: Know why I wouldn't let go? Because there but for the grace of God go I, or any cop. You get caught, you get prosecuted.
Ben Stone: Didn't know you were a philosopher, Max.
D/Sgt. Max Greevey: Just an ex-altar boy with a gun.

Det. Mike Logan: Max, you're drawing conclusions.
Sgt. Max Greevey: Let's just say I heard a dog bark.

Internal Affairs Lt. Gowdy: We're all one family here, Sergeant.
Sgt. Max Greevey: You an only child? I got people in my family, I wouldn't believe 'em they told me the sky was blue.

Captain Donald Cragen: If you're wrong, and you go after cops...
Sgt. Max Greevey: If I'm wrong, I'll go to the grand jury and say I killed the kid.

Freddo Parisi: Who do you wanna trust? Me or some eggplant?
D/Sgt. Max Greevey: [sarcastic] Oh gee, he seems pretty trustworthy to me. What about you, Mike?


"Law & Order: Happily Ever After (#1.5)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [Referring to the murder weapon] ... and guess who it was registered to?
Ben Stone: Himes, Gilbert?
Detective Mike Logan: Nope. And not to Ralston, Janet, either.
Ben Stone: [Surprised] Ralston, Alan?
[Leans his head in his hands]
Ben Stone: Great. He was killed with his own gun.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [Referring to a shooting victim who Max suspects isn't as innocent as she seems] That's amazing. I know cops who been in shooting cases that can't remember their badge numbers afterwards. Her husband gets shot, she gets shot, victim of a horrible crime, she remembers every second.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: I hate horseback riding. Scares the hell out of me.
Detective Mike Logan: Scary for the horse, too.

Detective Mike Logan: How many killers does it take...?
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Take the bulb!


"Law & Order: Everybody's Favorite Bagman (#1.6)" (1990)
[In a run-down Harlem apartment building]
Little Girl: Are you The Man?
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: We sure are, honey.

Simonize Jackson: You ain't got spot on me, except what he said, and that's just heresy.
Sgt. Max Greevey: The word's 'hearsay', Simonize.

Mike Logan: Lots of noise.
Sgt. Max Greevey: Plenty of warning.
[goes into the building to smoke out a perp, Logan runs around to the back]


"Law & Order: Life Choice (#1.12)" (1991)
Detective Mike Logan: Now, I don't care what you believe. Trying to prevent abortions by bombing goes way too far. I don't know how you can even *sit* here and defend it!
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: You and I both know they didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Detective Mike Logan: NO, I DON'T KNOW THAT, OKAY? Only an *idiot* thinks bombs don't hurt people.

Detective Mike Logan: What are you against, abortions or sex?
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Abortions! I like sex.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: How much does an abortion cost?
Lorraine: $300.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [to Logan] $300, the same price as a cheap mob hit.


"Law & Order: The Reaper's Helper (#1.3)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [after Stone was punched in the mouth] How's the jaw?
Ben Stone: It only hurts when I prosecute, so find something to keep me out of the courtroom until the swelling goes down.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Do you think a lot of cops are gay?
Detective Mike Logan: No way, man. The department's got a special test. They look you in the eye, and if your left eye blinks before your right eye, they know you're gay.
[Blinks at Greevey with his left eye]


"Law & Order: Prescription for Death (#1.1)" (1990)
Sgt. Max Greevey: Look! Someone's lying! Whether it's Gunja Din or Doctor God, we don't know.

Dr. Edward Auster: You solve every case you work on?
Detective Mike Logan: We can tell a felony from a traffic ticket.
Dr. Edward Auster: Look, a patient walks in with a headache. She could have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a berry aneurysm, a retro-orbital tumor... or does she just have a headache? Do you give her an aspirin? Or do you saw open her skull?
Sgt. Max Greevey: You make this speech at funerals?


"Law & Order: The Torrents of Greed: Part 1 (#1.15)" (1991)
Max Greevey: [to Stone] You got greedy, they knew it and they set you up.


"Law & Order: The Torrents of Greed: Part 2 (#1.16)" (1991)
Donald Cragen: We think Beigal fled jurisdiction?
Max Greevey: We think Beigal's dead, and Mrs. Beigal does too.


"Law & Order: Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die (#1.4)" (1990)
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: How many times would you go out with her before you went to bed with her?
Detective Mike Logan: Once.


"Law & Order: Mushrooms (#1.17)" (1991)
Max Greevey: If you are so trigger happy, why don't you join the army?


"Law & Order: A Death in the Family (#1.13)" (1991)
Sgt. Max Greevey: I don't wanna see this guy without back-up.
Det. Mike Logan: Back-up? I don't wanna see him without nuclear weapons.


"Law & Order: The Blue Wall (#1.22)" (1991)
Max Greevey: You better run yourself a reality check. The sharks are out, and there's blood in the water.


"Law & Order: The Violence of Summer (#1.14)" (1991)
Sergeant Max Greevey: [about two suspects sitting in a police car with the doors wide open] You think they have a reasonable expectation of privacy right now?


"Law & Order: Prisoner of Love (#1.10)" (1990)
Max Greevey: Maybe I'll walk around the block. Maybe your memory will get better,
[he suddenly knocks over a bunch of bar glasses]
Max Greevey: Or I'll get angrier.