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: For god's sakes, think about what you're doin'. Why are you listening to someone that's a 100,000 miles away? We're here, nobody down there can help us. So if we don't get this job done, everybody's gone. Chick
: One minute. Harry Stamper
: I have been drilling holes in the earth for 30 years. And I have never, NEVER missed a depth that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one, I will make 800 feet. Chick
: 42 seconds. Harry Stamper
: But I can't do it alone, Colonel. I need your help. Colonel William Sharp
: Do you swear on your daughter's life, on my family's, that you can hit that mark? Harry Stamper
: I will make 800 feet. I swear to God I will. Colonel William Sharp
: Then let's turn this bomb off.
: I ain't gonna kill him. I'm just gonna take a foot off of him. A man can work with one foot.
: How long you work for me? A.J.
: Five wonderful years. Harry Stamper
: In five years you have *never* apologized to me this quickly. Something's goin' on here, I'm gonna find out what it is.
: Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice - my choice and not yours. Harry Stamper
: He's the only one in your age bracket, Grace. It's not a choice, it's a lack of options.
: What's your contingency plan? Truman
: Contingency plan? Harry Stamper
: Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right? Truman
: No, we don't have a back up plan. This is it. Harry Stamper
: And this is the best that you c - that the-the government, the *U.S. government* can come up with? I mean, you-you're NASA for cryin' out loud, you put a man on the moon, you're geniuses! You-you're the guys that think this shit up! I'm sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You're telling me you don't have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world's hope, that's what you're telling me? Truman
: None of you have to go. We can all just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it, kill everything and everybody we know. United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no? Chick
: 20 years. Haven't turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there. Freddy Noonan
: Guess I can't let you go up there alone. Bear
: I'm with you. Oscar
: Man, this is - this is historic. Guys, this is, like, deep blue hero stuff! Of course I'm in. Rockhound
: While I don't share *his* enthusiasm, you know me. Beam me up, Scotty! Harry Stamper
: You all right, Max? Max
: I-I don't, I-I don't... Whatever you think. Harry Stamper
: [to A.J
] How about you? A.J.
: I'm in. Harry Stamper
: All right then. We go. Rockhound
: I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but do you think we'll get hazard pay out of this?
: Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I'd be comin' home. Now I don't know what you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here!
Colonel William Sharp
: It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws. Rockhound
: I say we all stay and die.
[pause, everyone looks at Rockhound
: But that's me. AJ
: I'll draw. Let's draw. Harry
: Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it. Chick
: Well, I can't live with that sort of thing. Lev Andropov
: Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right? Lev Andropov
: Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man who did not volunteer! No way! Bear
: Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance. Rockhound
: Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like this responsibility. Harry
: All right. All right. Rockhound
: I can do it! Harry
: Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on. Chick
: I ain't drawin' against you, Harry. Harry
: Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it.
[They draw straws
: Just gimme this thing. Lev Andropov
: [Lev looks at the straw he has drawn
] Is this good, or bad?
[A.J. has drawn the short straw
: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.
: [going through the roughnecks' medical reports
] Fail. Fail. Depressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative! Harry
: Sedatives are used all the time, doctor. Dr. Banks
: Well this one's used on horses. Harry
: Some of these guys are pretty big. Dr. Banks
: [to Truman
] You know, it would normally take 18 months to psychologically prepare pre-screened, viable subjects for space travel. We have seen evidence of a wide fariety of territorial aggression. Dan
: Can they *physically* survive the trip? That's all I need to know here, okay? Dr. Banks
: Personally, I don't know how they survived the tests.
: Come on, God, just a little help. It's all I'm asking. Max
: I think we're close enough, He might have heard ya.
: [after getting off the nuclear warhead
] Hey Sharp! No nukes! No nukes! No nukes! Harry Stamper
: [Harry turns to Sharp
] You got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp?
: So what's the verdict? Harry Stamper
: They'll do it. They've made a few requests though. Truman
: Such as? Harry Stamper
: [riffles through sheets of paper
] Well, there's uh, few things here, uh... nothin' really big, uh, just- Well, as an example, uh, uh, Oscar here, he's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record. Oscar
: [shouting from balcony
] Fifty-six tickets in seven states... Harry Stamper
: [to Oscar
] I'll-I'll tell 'em Oscar, you got it. Oscar
: Okay. Harry Stamper
: Uh, Noonan's got two women friends that he'd like to see made American citizens no questions asked. Max would like you to... bring back eight-track tapes. Not sure if that's gonna work, but, uh, let's see what else. Um, Chick wants a full week's Emperor's Package at Caesar's Palace. Um - hey, you guys wouldn't be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
[pause, turns and shakes his head
] Harry Stamper
: Um, Bear would like to stay at the...
[tries to read writing
] Harry Stamper
: "White horse"?
[looks up at Bear
: White, *House*. White House. Harry Stamper
: White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that. Truman
: Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of... some of that. Rockhound
: [shouting from balcony
] Harry! Harry Stamper
: [motions back at Rockhound
] Yeah one more thing, um... none of them wanna pay taxes again.
] Harry Stamper
: AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy! A.J.
: That's six words.
: Quincy! Somebody tell me what this is. Plastic ice cream scoop? What'd that cost? About $400.
[military guys are talking to Harry
: Harry! Harry Stamper
: What? Rockhound
: Man, I swear to God, she never told me her age. Harry Stamper
: It's all right, relax. It's about me. Rockhound
[to military guys
: Forget it!
: Harry, this is illegal man. Harry Stamper
: I'm temporarily insane, Rock, it's all right.
Colonel William Sharp
: This is insane. Harry Stamper
: [to Rockhound
] Have you lost your mind? Colonel William Sharp
: He's got space dementia.
: Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home. Grace Stamper
: I-I don't under-understand. Harry Stamper
] Looks like I'm gonna have to break that promise.
: Just tell Grace that, uh, that I'll always be with her. Okay? Can you do that? Harry Stamper
: Yeah. Okay, kid. Harry Stamper
: [pulls AJ's air hose out and rips off his own mission badge and hands it to AJ
] Give this to Truman. Make sure Truman gets that! Get in there.
[pushes AJ back into the hatch and closes the door
] Harry Stamper
: It's my turn now. A.J.
: Harry! Harry! You can't do this to me! It's my job! Harry Stamper
: You go take care of my little girl now. That's your job. Always thought of you as a son. Always. But, I'd be damn proud to have you marry Grace. A.J.
: [beginning to cry
] Harry. Harry Stamper
: You take care of yourself.
[pushes a button sending the hatch up
: Harry, no! Harry Stamper
: I love you,pal. A.J.
: Harry, I love you! Don't Harry! Wait a minute! Harry, no! Harry Stamper
: My son.
: Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot then he strapped himself to an Acme rocket. Is that - is that what we're doin' here? Harry Stamper
: [under his breath
] Rockhound. Rockhound
: No, no, really, because it didn't work out too well for the coyote, Harry. Harry Stamper
: [talking over him
] Hey, Rock. Knock it off. Truman
: Well, actually, we have a lot better rockets than the coyote.
: [his last words
] Harry Stamper
: WE WIN, GRACIE!
: If we don't put this bomb down in a hole 800 feet onto a fault line, all you're gonna have is a real expensive fireworks show.
: I'm gonna give you three seconds to shut this bomb down, and then I'm gonna make you shoot me.
: [shaking hands with Harry
] Mr Stamper , I'm General Montgomery, commander of the Pacific air forces. I've been sent here by the secretary of defence on direct orders from the president of the United States.
] General Montgomery
: It's a matter of urgent national security. I need you to get on that chopper right now, no questions asked. Harry Stamper
: Crazy Willie put you up to this? General Montgomery
: 'Fraid I dont know Crazy Willie, sir. I'm dead serious about this.
: You wanna go home? Is that it? You wanna be fired? A.J.
: No, I don't. My crew was doin' the right thing. Harry Stamper
] Your crew? A.J.
: Yeah. Harry Stamper
: Your crew just blew the whole transmission, A.J. A.J.
: Listen, that NASA computer is just playin' it safe. The machine you built - the rig - can do it. Harry Stamper
] Shut up! Just shut up! Shut your mouth! Those men in that room have zero tolerence for showin' off, hot doggin', going by your gut instinct or you tryin' to be a hero. You got that? Say the words, A.J. A.J.
: I got it.
: [about A.J
] Thought you said you couldn't trust him. Harry Stamper
: I thought you said I could.
: [to NASA
] Hey, you guys wouldn't happen to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
: Hi Harry. Harry
: I have repeatedly asked you to call me dad. Grace Stamper
: Sorry Harry.
: Tell me you never let anybody down. Harry Stamper
: I never quit yet...
: [talking to Harry when he is on the asteroid
] Daddy? Grace Stamper
: Hi Gracie Hi honey. Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home. Grace Stamper
: I don't under-understand. Harry Stamper
: Looks like I'm going to have to break that promise. Grace Stamper
: I lied to you too. When I told you I didn't want to be like you. Because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me, I have from you. I love you so much daddy. And I'm so proud of you, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Harry Stamper
: I know it baby. But there won't be anything to be scared of soon. Gracie, I want you to know that AJ saved us. He did. I want you to tell Chick, that I couldn't have done it without him. None of it. I want you to take care of AJ. And I wish I could be there to walk you down the aisle, but I'll... I'll look in on you from time to time, okay honey? I love you Grace. Grace Stamper
: I love you too. Harry Stamper
: Gotta go now honey. Grace Stamper
: Daddy, no!
[Harry cuts the video feed
] Grace Stamper
: No no dad no!
: We win, Gracie !