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Quotes for
Roland Jackson (Character)
from "Extreme Ghostbusters" (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Extreme Ghostbusters: Grundelesque (#1.24)" (1997)
Roland Jackson: Kylie, I don't like this.
Kylie Griffin: You don't gotta like it, Roland. You owe me one, remember?
Roland Jackson: I know, but we're defying Egon's direct orders. I thought you respected him.
Kylie Griffin: Hey. I respect him more than anything.
Roland Jackson: Then why are you doing this, Kylie?
Kylie Griffin: I... I don't know.

The Grundel: Oh, I waited for this moment, Kylie. Ten long years.
Kylie Griffin: You don't scare me. You can't make me one of yours!
The Grundel: I have no delusions. I just wanna see you scream, forever.
Kylie Griffin: [Kylie reaches for her proton pistol but gets captured] No!
The Grundel: Hahahahahaha!
[Roland blasts the Grundel from behind]
Roland Jackson: Nobody touches my family!
[Kylie throws trap and captures the Grundel]
Roland Jackson: You alright?
Kylie Griffin: Yeah, now I owe 'you' one.
[Bopped Roland's gut]

Kylie Griffin: [Kylie tries to hook up projector valve] C'mon, c'mon!
Roland Jackson: [clears throat startling Kylie] I knew you'd be here.
Kylie Griffin: [Kylie drops projector valve] What are you gonna do, Roland? 'Bust' me? You don't have to help, you know. We're 'even', remember?
Roland Jackson: I 'wanna' help.
[picks up projector valve and hooks it up to the containment unit]
Roland Jackson: On the bridge. It was Jack, wasn't it?
Kylie Griffin: ...yeah.

Kylie Griffin: I remember now. You took Jack!
The Grundel: Only because I couldn't have you, Kylie.
Kylie Griffin: Where is he? What did you do with Jack?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [in background] What do you mean, 'someone's in the house'?
The Grundel: Sounds like Egon. Why I haven't seen his smiling face in years.
Roland Jackson: Well, you're not gonna see it, now.
Kylie Griffin: [Kylie tries to stop Roland] No! Jack!
Roland Jackson: Are you crazy? Egon's coming.
The Grundel: Pity. Guess you'll never know about 'Jack'.
[Grundel is sucked back in the containment unit while Roland and Kylie are forced to hide behind the desk]
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Egon puts on a flashlight] You see, Slimer? It's just the storm.
Roland Jackson: [Egon and Slimer leave the basement] That was too close. Who the heck is Jack?
Kylie Griffin: A friend. My only friend. He was seven years old... when he... disappeared. Jack never came back. Nobody believed my story. I must've blocked it from my memory until now.
Roland Jackson: Look, Kylie, I'm sorry, but the Grundel. He could be messing with your mind. Egon said, every child that transformed into a Grundel changed back. Why not Jack?
Kylie Griffin: I... I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
Roland Jackson: We'll find out some other way. This is too risky.
[Roland and Kylie moved the projector back in the storage closet]
Roland Jackson: And we're even.

Roland Jackson: [after Kylie saves Roland from falling off a cliff after being attacked by the Grundel] Kylie, I owe you one. A 'big' one.

Kylie Griffin: Egon, that thing at the window. It tried to get the boy to come out and play. We 'must' be dealing with the Grundel.
Dr. Egon Spengler: That was my first thought, Kylie, but... it's highly unlikely. You see, there's only one Grundel and Ray, Winston, Peter and I trapped it ten years ago.
Kylie Griffin: You said it transformed children into Grundels.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Every child returned to his or her normal state when we captured it.
Kylie Griffin: Well, how can you be sure it's still trapped?
Roland Jackson: There's one way. Check the containment unit.
Casey Jackson: Yes!

Roland Jackson: Looking for the Grundel?
Garrett Miller: No, you.
Kylie Griffin: I don't wanna alarm you, Roland, but we should keep an eye on Casey.
Roland Jackson: Why? The Grundel doesn't want him. The Grundel wants bad kids.
Garrett Miller: Hello? Earth to Roland.
Roland Jackson: [confused] What?


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Dog Days (#1.32)" (1997)
[to Roland]
Garrett Miller: The thrill of the hunt, my man! The more foxes, the better. Think of it like dating... If you dated.
Roland Jackson: I'm gonna kill him.
Kylie: Cool with me.

Garrett Miller: [Garrett facepalms] Ya see, ya see? He missed another chick. The man desperately needs my help.
Kylie: Did you say 'chick'? Somehow, I don't think he needs you help.
Garrett Miller: Hey. You don't see any rust on my wheels.
Roland Jackson: Hello? Would you two stop talking about me like I'm not here?

Garrett Miller: [Garrett laughs] Spengler is wack. Simple as that.
Kylie: Egon is brilliant. He has a scientific mind that... that can't be limited by the boundaries of conventional thought.
Roland Jackson: Kylie, the man sent us out to buy thirty pounds of fungus.
Kylie: Okay, maybe he's a little eccentric, but he's still brilliant.
Garrett Miller: Yeah, whatever you say.

Roland Jackson: If she's the master...
Kylie: ...then the broadcast originates from her!
Roland Jackson: And that means?
Kylie: She's ecto.
Garrett Miller: Ah, music to my ears.

Eduardo Rivera: [Eduardo tells all dogs that were free of the demi-dog's control] Go home, bad dog. Go home. Go home. Go home, bad dog.
Kylie: Who's gonna clean this mess?
Roland Jackson: Be thankful we don't work for the city.

Garrett Miller: Psst. Hey Roll. Check it out.
Roland Jackson: [a girl walks down the street walking her dog] Wow. She's beautiful.
[Roland and the girl exchanged glances]
Garrett Miller: Hey. What's wrong with you?
Roland Jackson: What?
Garrett Miller: That pooch was your 'in', man; what better set up do you need?
Kylie: Please.
Roland Jackson: I'm... not really a dog person.
Garrett Miller: Oh. Miss America walks by and you choked.
[cuts to Kylie, Garrett and Roland riding in the Ecto-1]
Garrett Miller: It's not that he's bad looking guy but the guy looks more like a 'spengler clone'.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I heard that.
Kylie: Egon! We have your mushrooms and we're headed back to the fire house right now.
Dr. Egon Spengler: The fungus experiment will have to wait. We got dog problems.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Darkness at Noon: Part 1 (#1.1)" (1997)
Kylie: Wow. This is really it. The headquarters of the Ghostbusters.
Roland Jackson: There's the Ecto-1!
[Roland wipes off dust]
Roland Jackson: It needs a wash.
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Egon checks his P.K.E] P.K.E. readings are through the roof. This is an indicative of a major outbreak of ectoplasmic activity.
Kylie: Ghosts walk among us.
Eduardo: And so do weird chicks.

Garrett Miller: So, what's the deal? I thought this was Egon Spengler's class "Paranormal Phenomena 101".
Kylie: You thought right.
Garrett Miller: Popular class, huh?
[Garrett notices what's Kyile is reading]
Garrett Miller: "Spengler's Spirit Guide". Cool.
Kylie: You've read it?
Garrett Miller: Nah, but I heard all about Spengler. He's an OGB as in "Original Ghostbuster". Ha, ha. I wanna hear all about how they all kicked ghost butt.
[Eduardo walks in]
Garrett Miller: Man, if I ever got a chance to zap one of these suckers.
[Garret makes zapping noises]
Eduardo: Yeah, right. Ghosts. Any moron with half a brain cell knows they don't even exist. I mean, you got to be a...
[Eduardo notices Kylie's books]
Garrett Miller: Real slick. Open mouth, insert foot.
Kylie: So, why are you taking this class, Mr. "half-a-brain-cell"?
Eduardo: The names... Eduardo. And I'm taking because it's what's known as an "easy A".
Garrett Miller: [Roland walks in] What about you, bro? You're here for the "easy A"?
Roland Jackson: Easy "A"? I don't really follow rap music that much.
Eduardo: He's asking you do you believe in "Ghosts"?
Roland Jackson: Well, I never 'seen' one, but I'm open to the possibility. Now, what I 'have' seen is the Ecto-1. That was the Ghostbusters car in an auto show. Man, these guys have some incredible hardware like those ghost-blasting things.
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Egon walks in] Proton guns. Actually, to be more accurate: Ectoplasmic molecular displacement beams.
Kylie: It's him! Egon Spengler!
Eduardo: I'm all a twitter.

Roland Jackson: [while listening to Egon's lectures] He's giving us hard data on the life cycles of ghosts as if he's got scientific proof that they exist.
Kylie: They do.
Roland Jackson: Are you saying you've seen one?
Kylie: [in a creepy voice] I am one.
[Roland looks shocked]
Kylie: Kidding. But ever since losing my great grandma rose over a year ago, I often sense her presence.

Roland Jackson: [Roland picks up a device] What's this do?
Dr. Egon Spengler: That's a spectral proto capacitator. It would be known in laymans terms as...
Kylie: [Kylie grabs the device from Roland] ... a ghost beacon.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Correct. By emitting an ultra parasonic frequency, it allows the user to summon a ghost.
Eduardo: Now there's a party waiting to happen.
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Kylie activates the ghost beacon and Egon stops her disactivating it] Um, we don't want any accidents, now.
Janine Melnitz: [coughing] All this equipment and you still don't own a vacuum.
Garrett Miller: [Slimer eats Garrett's candy bar] Speaking of vacumms...

Eduardo: What's up with that weird chick Kylie? She's such a big fan of this ghost stuff so where is she?
Garrett Miller: I think somebody has a deva-vampira.
Eduardo: Oh, yeah right. Scrawny girls who talk to ghoulies really float my boat.
Janine Melnitz: [Janine walks in] Oh, dear. Egon hasn't shown up, has he?
Garrett Miller: No.
Roland Jackson: Haven't seen him.
Eduardo: Maybe he's dead.
Janine Melnitz: He went off by himself last night... to do some ghostbusting.
Garrett Miller: That old geezer? He can bust a gut!
Janine Melnitz: That 'old geezer' has saved this city I don't know how many times.
Garrett Miller: Bite my head off, why don't ya.
Janine Melnitz: It's just that he's let himself go out of shape.
Roland Jackson: Maybe we outta check out the firehouse.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: The Infernal Machine (#1.7)" (1997)
Luko: You cannot stop my final function!
Roland Jackson: Function this!
[Roland activates ghost trap and traps Luko while the machine explodes safely]
Roland Jackson: Gotcha.
Eduardo Rivera: Impressive, yes.

Roland Jackson: I built out of a bunch of old stuff we had lying around. Impressive, yes?
Eduardo Rivera: Impressive, no.
Garrett Miller: [bangs on Roland's invention] What is it?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Clearly influenced by the early Duchamp.
Kylie Griffin: With the anti-Bauhaus Gestalt.
Roland Jackson: Huh? It's a trash compactor. Check it out.
[Roland throws a can into the compactor]
Eduardo Rivera: That figures. Even Roland's trash is square.
Roland Jackson: Gimme that! I like to see you guys make something out of nothing.
Garrett Miller: Hey, take a pill, roll. We thought you trying to, you know, make a piece of art or something.
Roland Jackson: You want art? I'll give you art. Here look at this. What do you think of that? Come on, ol' art critics.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Wow. Now this is interesting.
Garrett Miller: Dynamic. It moves me.
Kylie Griffin: Yeah, very Jackson Pollock-y.
Eduardo Rivera: A lot better than that can masher.
Roland Jackson: It's a rag! I wipe my hands on it.
Eduardo Rivera: Get outta here!
Roland Jackson: No, you get outta here.
Kylie Griffin: Oops.

Garrett Miller: This better be good. I was in the middle of a dream about Christie Brinkley.
Eduardo Rivera: Huh? I was dreaming about Christy Turlington. Rawr!
Kylie Griffin: Shut up... Christian Slater.
Eduardo Rivera: What about you, Roland?
Roland Jackson: Gee, I don't know. Do square people with square lives and square trash even have dreams?
Eduardo Rivera: Whoa, what was that all about? Wait a minute. Are you still ticked off about that stupid thing you made?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Roland.
Roland Jackson: [monotone voice] Yes?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I think there's something wrong with this. It might have given you a false reading. I want you to run some tests.
Roland Jackson: [monotone voice] I can't. I must finish my machine.
Dr. Egon Spengler: This is important, Roland.
Roland Jackson: [monotone voice] So's my machine. I'm harnessing the music of the spheres.
Dr. Egon Spengler: The "Music of the Spheres"?
Eduardo Rivera: The guy's gone loco.
Garrett Miller: [Roland takes Televion] Hey, whaddya think you're doing! I was using that!
Dr. Egon Spengler: What's gotten into you, Roland?
Roland Jackson: [monotone voice] I need it for my machine.
Garrett Miller: What, so you can crush it into a cube?
Kylie Griffin: Come on, guys. Leave him alone. He's probably trying to make something to impress us. We were pretty hard on him, you know. It wouldn't hurt to be a little supportive.
Garrett Miller: Eh, okay, okay.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Very well.
Eduardo Rivera: Heh, yeah right.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Eduardo, I want you to take me out to the site to retrace your steps from last night. I wanna know about where this thing you fought came from.
Eduardo Rivera: Who cares where it came from. It's toast. History.
[Egon glares at him]
Eduardo Rivera: Fine, fine.
[Edwardo mumbles to himself]


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Moby Ghost (#1.26)" (1997)
Eduardo Rivera: Don't jump!
Roland Jackson: I'm not jumping.
Garrett Miller: So, whatcha ya doin', Ro? Spitting on people?
Roland Jackson: [Slimer harks spit] No.
[Slimer swallows his spit]
Kylie Griffin: Well, come on. We got a ghost to bust.
Roland Jackson: I'm not going. You guys were right. I wouldn't last a day on Gilligan's Island.
Garrett Miller: Time for a little reverse psychology. Hey, guys. Roland's right. He's no good to us.
[Roland feels confused then scene cuts to Eduardo and Garret in Ecto-1]
Eduardo Rivera: Real smooth, Garrett. That reverse psychology is 'real' effective.
Garrett Miller: I took a shot, okay? So sue me.
Kylie Griffin: Look as the bright side you guys. This way, I get to drive.
[scene reveals Kylie sitting on books while driving]
Eduardo Rivera: You can reach the brake pedal, can't you?
Kylie Griffin: No, but I can reach this.
[yanks Eduardo's goatee]

Garrett Miller: [the team arrived at a vehicle collision pileup] Boys and girls, welcome to Roland's nightmare.
Roland Jackson: [feeling upset] You think this is funny?
Garrett Miller: Yeah.
[chuckles]
Garrett Miller: Kind of.
Eduardo Rivera: [chuckles] Man, if you could see your face.
Kylie Griffin: Don't pay attention to them, Roland. We got work to do.
Roland Jackson: Right... not a problem.

Garrett Miller: What's the matter, Rolster? You look like your gold petfish died.
Roland Jackson: My electronic planner. I can't find it.
Eduardo Rivera: I think I saw it on the kitchen table.
Roland Jackson: That's my digital writing pad.
[Roland reaches under couch where Eduardo's sitting]
Kylie Griffin: Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're a little over-reliant on gadgets and technology?
Roland Jackson: I'm not over-relying on anything. They're just tools to help me organize my life.
Eduardo Rivera: Yeah, well if they were, you would know where your electronic planner is.
Roland Jackson: Very funny.
Garrett Miller: Rolster, you're such a technofreak. You wouldn't last two days on Gilligan's Island.
Roland Jackson: Sure I would. I uplink the modem on my laptop to remote radio bandwidth then I signal an S.O.S. to the passing ship.
Eduardo Rivera: ...okay?
Janine Melnitz: Roland, were you looking for this?
[Janine reveals Roland's electronic planner]
Roland Jackson: Yes! Thank you. Where was it?
Janine Melnitz: Slimer had it. He was trying to make a meal of your screensaver.
Slimer: Sorry.

Garrett Miller: Lotan's gone.
Eduardo Rivera: So's malkrob.
Kylie Griffin: He did what he came to do.
Roland Jackson: Hey, my P.K.E. meter's working. And so is my watch. And so are the runaway lights. It all works! It all works!
Garrett Miller: We need to get this guy a girlfriend.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Fear Itself (#1.4)" (1997)
Roland Jackson: This place is like a maze.
Kylie Griffin: We better split up.
Eduardo Rivera: Split up?
Kylie Griffin: Yes.
Eduardo Rivera: Well, just scream if you run into trouble.
Kylie Griffin: ...I'm not a screamer.

Garrett Miller: Where is it?
Roland Jackson: Cover me.
Eduardo Rivera: [turns on proton blaster] Kay.
Roland Jackson: [Roland jumps in] Eww, gross!
Garrett Miller: What? What is it?
Roland Jackson: ...Trash.
Garrett Miller: Heh. Well whatever it was, it turned an ice queen into a scream queen. Must've been wearing it's guts on the outside or something. It was lovely, wasn't it? Ooh, I do love a challenge.
Kylie Griffin: It was... maggots.
Garrett Miller: Regular maggots?
Roland Jackson: Non-level A, non-ectoplasmic run-of-the-mill maggots?
Eduardo Rivera: A chico keeps her dog in a spider's web is afraid of worms?
Kylie Griffin: Why is it everyone thinks I'm vampira?
Garrett Miller: Black hair.
Roland Jackson: Black nail polish.
Eduardo Rivera: Nine inch nails.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Seeds of Destruction (#1.20)" (1997)
Kylie Griffin: I'm just gonna put you to sleep for awhile. This is for your own good.
[Kylie throws shanbahac in the air and prepares to freeze it]
Roland Jackson: Kylie, no!
Kylie Griffin: [Eduardo tackles Kylie] Uhh! Get off of me!
Roland Jackson: That wasn't Kuja. It's a demon named shanbahac. It exterminates people. And if you freeze it, it will stay dormant for 2,000 years. And so do it's victims.
Kylie Griffin: Oh, no. Garrett.
Eduardo Rivera: Oh, man. Garrett got cabbage-patched.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Eyes of a Dragon (#1.28)" (1997)
Eduardo Rivera: It's a particle.
Kylie Griffin: It's a wave.
Eduardo Rivera: Particle.
Kylie Griffin: Wave.
Eduardo Rivera: The cute little light particles bounce like tiny tennis balls on reflective surfaces. And when the surface ain't flat, they get seriously messed up.
Kylie Griffin: Look, brainiac. Light passes through the glass and gets bent on different bandwidths creating different colors. Can tennis balls do that? Not particles. Waves.
Garrett Miller: Ahh, I recognize that fragrance. Physics 101.
Roland Jackson: Actually, you're both right. Planck's quantum theory stipulates that waves of light sometimes act like particles. While Heisenbergs's uncertainly principle postulates that particles of light or photons display wave-like patterns.
Garrett Miller: Shooting spitballs at boulders, Roland my friend. Never gonna penetrate.
Eduardo Rivera: Yeah, like you get it.
Garrett Miller: Of course, I do. Planck's quantum theory, um... st... stipulates... um... what he said.
Roland Jackson: Look, guys. It's simple. Light is 'both' a particle 'and' a wave.
Janine Melnitz: It's like that stuff that's both a gum and a candy.
[phone rings]
Janine Melnitz: Ghostbusters, now offering physics tutoring at reasonable rates. Suit up, guys.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Darkness at Noon: Part 2 (#1.2)" (1997)
Kylie Griffin: [posessed as Achira] Eduardo.
Eduardo Rivera: Kylie! Man, is Egon ticked at you for taking that beacon thing.
Kylie Griffin: [possessed] Are you happy to see me, Eduardo?
Eduardo Rivera: Uh, sure.
Kylie Griffin: [possessed] Because I'm really happy to see you. From the first time I saw you in the lecture hall, I felt... an attraction. Did you feel it, too?
Eduardo Rivera: Well, I don't know. Sort of. You could can stand to put on a couple of pounds.
Kylie Griffin: [possessed] A good looking guy like you is really hard to resist. Kiss me, Eduardo. I want you too.
[possessed Kylie puckers up while Eduardo does the same]
Roland Jackson: Back off, Eduardo!
Eduardo Rivera: Why? She's legal.
Roland Jackson: She's a ghost!
[Roland points at P.K.E. meter]


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Deadliners (#1.5)" (1997)
Roland Jackson: So Garrett, how reality-based is your story?
Kylie Griffin: I think what Roland is politely fishing for is... we're in it, right?
Eduardo Rivera: Yeah, we're in it... for about a page... then we die... squealing for mercy.
Roland Jackson: We what?
Eduardo Rivera: Well, not all of us. The handsome guy in the wheelchair lives.
Kylie Griffin: What a shock.
Roland Jackson: It's okay, Garrett. I'm sure you have artistic reasons.
Kylie Griffin: Roland, don't be such a simp!
Garrett Miller: Hey, don't take it personally, guys, it's just more commercial with one hero. Besides, I get to avenge your deaths.
Kylie Griffin: Garrett, you made us squeal for mercy. I am 'not' a squealer.
Garrett Miller: Tell you what, i'll bring you back as ghosts in the sequel. Promise.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Till Death Do Us Start (#1.29)" (1997)
Garrett Miller: Dibs on the couch!
Eduardo Rivera: Too slow, big guy. I hear sleeping on a hard surface is good for you posture.
Kylie Griffin: [Kylie knocks on bathroom door] Roland! Roland, are you gonna spend all night in there?
Roland Jackson: [Roland comes out the bathroom dressed in his men's pajamas] No.
Kylie Griffin: [chuckles] Nice jammies.
Roland Jackson: [Garrett looks at Roland's pajamas] What?
Garrett Miller: [chuckles] Where's the little matching bunny slippers?
Roland Jackson: Haven't you people ever seen men's pajamas before? Sheesh.
Eduardo Rivera: Uh, I thought men's pajamas were t-shirt and underwear.
Garrett Miller: Hey, Ed. Whatever happens tonight, you do 'not' want to see those covers coming off.


"Extreme Ghostbusters: Home Is Where the Horror Is (#1.8)" (1997)
Len: Alright!
Frankie: Are you Batman?
Roland Jackson: I'm his cousin. Ghostbuster Man.