Jules Cobb
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Quotes for
Jules Cobb (Character)
from "Cougar Town" (2009)

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"Cougar Town: Rhino Skin (#1.11)" (2010)
Jules Cobb: Are you threatening me?
Dr. Amy Evans: I haven't decided yet.
Jules Cobb: Well when you know let me know.
Dr. Amy Evans: I decided. Back off!

Jules Cobb: I have a date with this mean dermatologist. She's the worst.
Travis Cobb: Then why do you go to her?
Jules Cobb: Because she's the best.

"Cougar Town: Here Comes My Girl (#1.9)" (2009)
Jules Cobb: In one of our friend talks he told me she is not even on the pill... Condoms break all the time!
Laurie Keller: Especially if there's piercing involved!
Ellie Torres: Stop,I'm begging you

"Cougar Town: All Mixed Up (#2.1)" (2010)
Jules Cobb: [Angry] You based all of my treatment on your dog?
Glenn: Ajam.
[Jules is stressed]
Glenn: Ok, I'm just gonna light a little sage in here 'cause, you know? It's very calming so let's all just
Glenn: calm.
Jules Cobb: It's just... I can't believe you lied to me.
Glenn: [Pointing at Jules, slightly angry] Hey, hey, hey, Jules! And yes, this is my steering voice.
Jules Cobb: [Slighty intimidated] I don't like your steering voice.
Glenn: All I ever do was used my personal experience
[starts coughing because of the sage]
Glenn: to help you. All right? I've never lied on this office. Ever. This is a sacred circle
[keeps coughing]
Glenn: of truth.
Jules Cobb: Is it, Glenn?
Glenn: What?
Jules Cobb: Tell me. After we left, did you leave a note on that car?
Glenn: Yes, I did.
Jules Cobb: What did it say?
Glenn: It said: Suck it!
[Jules nods, having proved her point]
Glenn: I'm not perfect, Jules.
Jules Cobb: [Ironic] Really?
Glenn: That's how we connect. We are kindred spirits. Last time you said that you felt guilty because you hang up on your dad. Last Christimas, I set my car on fire so my mother would think I was dead.
Jules Cobb: Those aren't the same!
Glenn: Bah, they're so close. But you know what? I'm done playing with your judgement games. I'm not gonna play. You're gonna have to find another therapist.
Jules Cobb: YOU are firing ME?
Glenn: Here's your information.
Jules Cobb: Are you serious?
Glenn: Yeah.
Jules Cobb: You are a nutjob!
Glenn: Yeaaaaah.
Jules Cobb: You take your dog to communion!
Glenn: [Angry and obviously crazy] Hey, that was not my choice. That was Gabriel's choice. I was totally against that, Jules.

"Cougar Town: You Wreck Me (#1.5)" (2009)
Jules Cobb: You wanna use less tongue, you're not a cow at a salt lick.

"Cougar Town: I Should Have Known It (#4.4)" (2013)
Ellie Torres: I understand we have a, uh, felony break in and a body in the closet. Is that correct? All right. Do what I say, and we'll get through this. Jelly Bean, find that damn purse. We can still prove she's a gold digger. Jules, get a rag, wipe the place down- tables, door knobs, anything you may have touched. Get to work.
Jules Cobb: A "please" would be nice.
Ellie Torres: Come again?
Jules Cobb: I said a "please" would be nice.
Ellie Torres: Get it straight, buster. I'm not here to say "please." I'm here to tell you what to do. If my help's not appreciated, best of luck, lady.
Jules Cobb: No, no. I-I'm sorry, Miss Ellie.