April Buchanon
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Quotes for
April Buchanon (Character)
from "Eastbound & Down" (2009)

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"Eastbound & Down: Chapter 27 (#4.6)" (2013)
Kenny Powers: What can I do to make you happy now? Let's try and see: I can't invite your friends to a fucking party because that's not enough; I can't sing a fucking song with you 'cause that's not enough; I can't buy fucking luxuries and fancy cars and expensive fur coats and fine jewelry and chinas! That's not enough either! None of it's fucking enough! What do you want? huh? You want me to quit my fucking job? Go back to being your little bitch boy? Well it's not happening! If anyone wants to take my television job they'll have to do it over my dead fucking body!
April Buchanon: I think you need to leave.
Kenny Powers: No. I'm the one who...
April Buchanon: No! You need to get out. Get out.
Kenny Powers: May... Let's maybe we could just take it down a notch.

Kenny Powers: Fine. You want me out of here?
April Buchanon: Yeah.
Kenny Powers: Ok, I'm out. Party's over. I guess I'll have to find somebody new to fall in love with who will appreciate these; want some fucking rubies?
April Buchanon: Get the fuck out.
Kenny Powers: Some fucking emeralds?


"Eastbound & Down: Chapter 6 (#1.6)" (2009)
April Buchanon: I'm just not ready to take that risk... of my life... on that gamble.
Kenny Powers: What the fuck does that even mean?
Kenny Powers: The risk... of... the life... with the gamble - -what?
April Buchanon: I'm not ready to risk my life on a gamble!

Kenny Powers: I just wanted to tell you that this is probably the best day of my life. I just thought you should know that before we go any further.
April Buchanon: Thank you, Kenny. I'm happy too.
Kenny Powers: Okay, now get naked.


"Eastbound & Down: Chapter 5 (#1.5)" (2009)
Kenny Powers: You came.
April Buchanon: Yeah, I heard it on the radio.
Kenny Powers: So does this mean...?
April Buchanon: Yes.
Kenny Powers: I just want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about what happened at the cook-out.
April Buchanon: Can we talk about it later when everyone is not around?
Kenny Powers: It was just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and then I saw those tits and I started feeling your ass, and then i just started breathing heavy and i almost got a headache, and then my vision started to go all colorful... Then I just came in my pants.
April Buchanon: Ok...
April Buchanon: But I won't do that again.
Baseball Player: Hey, can we finish this or you just gonna yakkity yak with tits and legs over there?
Kenny Powers: Hey! She's more that just a pair of tits with legs, Mackworthy!

Kenny Powers: I just want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about, you know, what happened at the cookout.
April Buchanon: Can we talk about it later, when everyone's not around?
Kenny Powers: It's just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and then I saw those tits, and then I started feelin' your ass and I started breathin' heavy and I almost got a headache and then my vision started to go all colorful... and then I just came in my pants.