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: Only a kitty cat. Classic misdirection.
: The roadside motel is one of the most common settings for a horror movie. Remote, isolated, ordinary. A quiet environment to alleviate the audience's expectations. I'll be expecting her to ask the inkeeper for the phone any minute now. Bonnie's Mom
: Can we use your phone? Our car has a flat. Mr. Pricklepants
: Right on cue.
: Where are you going? Mr. Potato Head
: We're at a motel. I'm checking out the amenities. You know, the free stuff? Little soaps, shower caps, shampoo, conditioner. Mr. Pricklepants
: I wouldn't do that if I were you. In horror movies the first to leave is usually the first to get it. Woody
: Potato Head, don't leave the bag. A motel is one of the easiest places for a toy to get lost. Mr. Potato Head
: Ah, shut your worry hole. Nobody's getting lost. Besides, I promissed Hamm I'd bring him something nice. Jessie
: Where are you guys going? Trixie
: We're gonna see the free stuff. Mr. Pricklepants
: And if something does happen to the potato, I wouldn't want to miss it.
: Not to worry. We're all right here. See, there's Woody, Pricklepants, Trixie, Rex... Wait, where's Potato Head? Mr. Pricklepants
: And so it begins.
: Pricklepants, you're not helping!
: So what happens next? Mr. Pricklepants
: Usually this is the point of the story where the characters are picked off one by one.
[He is snatched by an unseen force
: Uh, where's Pricklepants? Rex
: Aah! He was right here! What are we going to do? He was the only one who knew what the heck is going oooo...
: It's been a while. I don't think she's coming back. Mr. Pricklepants
: Patience. Cinematic structure dictates that it's always darkest... Mr. Potato Head
: Can it, Pants! Life ain't a movie! They ain't never coming back! Rex
: Look, they're coming back!
: Uh, where's Potato Head? Woody
: Oh, no. Mr. Pricklepants
: Oh, it appears the monster has returned to claim one last victim. Jessie
: No, he's not. He's right over there. Mr. Potato Head
: [to his arm
] Oh, I missed you, baby! We'll never be separated again.
[the car hits a bump, Mr. Potato Head's parts all fall off
] Mr. Potato Head
: Aw, nuts.
] Mr. Pricklepants
: Group laughter. A sure sign that the worst is behind us. Rex
: So, it's the end? Mr. Pricklepants
: Yes. I believe they'd be running the credits just about now.
[Cut to end credits
: [while watching the movie
] Tactics, Betsy, tactics. Find something to defend yourself with.
[Betsy grabs a vase
] Buzz Lightyear
: There you go. Mr. Pricklepants
: Completely uselsess! Everyone knows a stake through the heart is the only way to defeat a vampire.
: And now we've reached the threshold. Every horror story has one. Once the heroes cross it, there's no turning back. Buzz Lightyear
: Rex, over here. Rex
: Coming! Woody
: All we need to do is find a way down.
[Rex trips over the others and they fall down the grate
: Well, that did the trick. Rex
: Oops! Sorry!
: What started out as a simple horror story has become something more of a tragedy.
: Thank you all for coming to the audition. Number one, action! Alien #1
: Ooooh! Mr. Pricklepants
: Dreadful. Next! Alien #2
: [same inflection
] Ooooh! Mr. Pricklepants
: Horrifying. Next! Alien #3
: [same inflection
] Ooooh! Mr. Pricklepants
: [to Barbie and Ken
] Dinner is served.
[the Squeaky Toy Aliens come up, providing the dinner: a huge pork with an apple in its mouth, played by Hamm
: [spits out apple
] I should've seen this coming.
[In Bonnie's room; she is playing with her toys and Woody
: [voice box
] There's a snake in my boot!
[Bonnie pulls his string again
: I'd like to join your posse, boys, but first I'm gonna sing a little song. Bonnie
: A sheriff!
[she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals
: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants!
[she pushes him aside
: We have a guest!
[she hops from foot to foot
: You want some coffee?
[she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher
: It's good for you, but don't drink too much or you'll have to - Be right back!
[she runs out the door
: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen
] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Hi. Excuse me... Mr. Pricklepants
: Can you tell me where I am? Mr. Pricklepants
[he freezes again
: The guy's just asking a question. Mr. Pricklepants
: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character! Buttercup
: [to Woody
] My name's Buttercup. Mr. Pricklepants
: [at Buttercup
] Shh! Trixie
: Hello! I'm Trixie! Mr. Pricklepants
: [at Trixie
] Shhh! Trixie
: [back at him
] Shhh! Woody
: [waves his arms
] Guys, hey! Guys, look, I don't know where I am... Trixie
: We're either in a café in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey. I'm pretty sure I just came back from the doctor with life-changing news. Buttercup
: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun - you'll be fine! Woody
: No, no no no, I...
[Bonnie flushes the toilet in the bathroom and Woody goes limp
: Hey, if any of you get to Sunnyside Daycare, you tell 'em Woody made it home. Dolly
: You came from Sunnyside? Trixie
: But how'd you escape? Woody
: Well, it wasn't easy. I... What do you mean "escape"? Mr. Pricklepants
: Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries. Woody
: Wh...? Lotso? Buttercup
: The guy may seem plush and huggable on the outside, but inside, he's a monster! Woody
: But, how'd you know that? Mr. Pricklepants
: Chuckles... he'll tell you.
: Remember, you must inhabit the part. It's not enough to play the dinosaur, you must be the dinosaur. Trixie
: But I am the dinosaur. Mr. Pricklepants
: Perfect! Now, go out there and sparkle!