Montana Max
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Quotes for
Montana Max (Character)
from "Tiny Toon Adventures" (1990)

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"Tiny Toon Adventures: Journey to the Center of Acme Acres (#1.7)" (1990)
Plucky Duck, Montana Max: [singing] They think it's okay to work away all day. What a fake, watch them shake, they're afraid of the big bad quake.
Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny: [singing] You should ask us if we care that you laugh and stare. We'll be safe living like a mole when the big bad quake swallows you up whole.

Babs Bunny: We're on a bit of a scavenger hunt.
Buster Bunny: We've already got the Sphinx, Trump Tower and the Titanic. Now all we need is a mondo grandioso nugget of gold. And money is NO object.
Montana Max: Well, look no further. How much you willing to pay?
Buster Bunny: Oh, we've got oodles and oodles of moolah. Aha. Aha. Aha. WHERE'S THE GOLD?
Montana Max: [opening a vault] It's in here. No peeking.
Buster Bunny: Certainment.
Montana Max: This must be what you had in mind.
Plucky Duck: [dressed as a maid] Ooh, let me see!
[dives in]
Plucky Duck: OOH! Gold coins!
Babs Bunny: [restraining him] Dinah, calm yourself! Ha ha. Oh, it's so hard to find good help these days.
Buster Bunny: No no no, Monty. I'm looking for a gold nugget, not coins.
Montana Max: Why didn't you say so? Here ya go.
[opens another vault]
Montana Max: Ain't - I mean, isn't it a beaut?
Plucky Duck: OOOOH! Gold bars! Please say we can keep some, Miss! Please please please!
Babs Bunny: [cold cocks him] Dinah, drop it.
Plucky Duck: Yes, mum.
Buster Bunny: Ha ha ha. Pardon my gaiety, but are you a simpleton? We are looking for...
Buster Bunny: [yells in Monty's ear] A REALLY-BIG-GOLD-NUGGET! NUG-GET!

Buster Bunny: [in disguise] Hidey-hi! Biff and Buffy Vanderbunny here, of the South Hampton Vanderbunnies.
Montana Max: Whaddaya want?
Babs Bunny: Why, look Biffkins! It's Maximillion!
Buster Bunny: Say, chap, we saw you on the telly and we were hoping you could help us out.
Montana Max: Forget it!
[slams door]
Buster Bunny: We're prepared to offer oodles of ca-ash!
Montana Max: Oh yeah?
[yells at his butler]
Montana Max: Why didn't you let them in?

Hamton J. Pig: I wonder what the Gremlins will do to him.
[underground, Monty hangs from a rope by one foot]
Montana Max: Hey! Get away from me!
Gremlin: Go ahead Sis- take another swing.
Montana Max: I'm nobody's piñata! Ow!
Gremlin: I like him. He's silly.

"Tiny Toon Adventures: The Acme Acres Zone (A Walk on the Flip Side/A Bacon Strip/Senserely Yours, Babs) (#1.14)" (1990)
Buster Bunny: Spare a cup of Carrots, Monty, old pal?
Montana Max: Carrots? You have the nerve to ask me for carrots AFTER WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH?

Montana Max: Low-class pool crashers, dirtying my 10,000 gallons of imported spring water. I wouldn't swim in anything less."

Montana Max: This little piggy's crying wee-wee-wee all the way home... Without his pants!

"Tiny Toon Adventures: Acme Cable TV (#2.7)" (1991)
Announcer: One of these nine stars is today's Secret Toon! Could it be - Buster Bunny? Plucky Duck? Shirley the Loon? Hamton J. Pig? Furrball? Byron Bassett? Gogo Dodo? Dizzy Devil? Or Babs Bunny? All in the Toonywood Squares! And here's the master of the Toonywood Squares - Blink Winkleman!
Blink Winkleman: We-he-hell, hi fun-lovers! Hi toons!
[Hi Blink, etc]
Babs Bunny: look like a jerk!
Blink Winkleman: Well... thank you! And now, let's meet our contestants: He's a boy billionaire and president of the Saddam Hussein fan club, meet Montana Max!
Montana Max: KNOCK IT OFF! No good lazy couch-potatoes - GET A JOB!
Blink Winkleman: She's an animal lover with the smarts of a speed bump, the relatively unpopular Elmyra!
Elmyra Duff: I will take the cute blue bunny for the block, Blink!
Blink Winkleman: A-ha-ha, I'm sure you will. I really hate my life.

Blink Winkleman: Back to Monty!
Montana Max: Grrr. I'll take the goofy-looking hound.
Blink Winkleman: Byyyyron Basset!
[very loud buzzer]
Blink Winkleman: And Byron Basset is today's Secret Toon! Get this answer right Monty, and heeeeere's what you'll win!
Female Announcer: An all-expense-paid trip to the French Riviera! In your new Acme Jumbo Jet, filled with a bonus cash prize of 800 million dollars!
Blink Winkleman: Yes, but if you lose Monty, you'll take a terrifying descent into...
Female Announcer: Hades! Where you'll spend an eternity in flames! Along with the most despicable people who ever lived!
Montana Max: Huh? Wait a minute!
Blink Winkleman: Uh-uh, no can do Monty. Here's the question: Byron, how did early pioneers describe life in America's west?
Byron Basset: Rrroooff.
Blink Winkleman: Monty, do you agree or disagree?
Montana Max: With what?
Blink Winkleman: Agree, or disagree?
Montana Max: I disagree with this whole show!
Blink Winkleman: Ooooh, life in America's west was indeed, 'Rough,' as Byron said. Circle gets the square!
Montana Max: The stupid dog barked! He said 'woof!' That's not an answer!
Blink Winkleman: Don't be a sore loser Monty. And have a pleasant trip!
Montana Max: [falling through his podium] AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

"Tiny Toon Adventures: Fields of Honey (#1.30)" (1990)
Montana Max: [answers the door] What do you want now?
Babs: [dresed in rags and shivering] Please sir I'm a poor orphan and...
Montana Max: [interupting her] Get a job!

Babs: Hello I'm collecting funds to eliminate poverty on earth
Montana Max: Oh yeah?
Babs: Yes our organization is going to send anyone without money to the moon
Montana Max: Now that is a great idea!
[runs into his house and returns with a bag of money]
Montana Max: Let me make a donation, here you go!
[hands her the money]
Babs: Why thank you!

"Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster and Babs Go Hawaiian (#2.8)" (1991)
Montana Max: Attention, peasants! For lunch we're please to offer you lobster, or filet mignon. HA! Just kidding! That's what I'm eating! What you're eating hasn't been classified by science yet- bon appetit!

Montana Max: [as the pilot] Aloha, suckers! Welcome aboard Air-Acme's Hawaiian express! We're presently 87th in line for takeoff - But why wait? Ha ha!
[takes off]
Montana Max: Hey, I got us up! Guess there's a first time for everything, huh folks?
[starts playing Pac-Man]

"Tiny Toon Adventures: Animaniacs! (#1.36)" (1990)
Babs: [after seeing Montana Max cut rabbit actors down with a chainsaw] Oh that's sick!
Buster J.Bunny: Boo! Get it off.
Montana Max: Hey what are you doing? Put me down. This will be a christmas classic.
[after being thrown out of the theater]

"Tiny Toon Adventures: The Looney Beginning (#1.1)" (1990)
Montana Max: You can't do this to me; I'm rich!

"Tiny Toon Adventures: Citizen Max (#1.22)" (1990)
Montana Max: Hi, friends. Montana Max here, asking for your support. As we all know, Acme Loo needs a new student council president who's reliable, honest, and fair, but I want you to vote for me anyway!