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Quotes for
Madge Bishop (Character)
from "Neighbours" (1985)

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"Neighbours: Episode #1.836" (1988)
Madge Bishop: [Madge has had enough of Harold's snoring] Ah. Well, I just think I might have some good news for you. I was having a little chat with Beverly about your... your affliction, and she...
Harold Bishop: [gasps] You *what*? Well, that is lovely to know there are still some secrets left in a man's marriage.
Madge Bishop: Harold, let me finish. She says...
Harold Bishop: [angrily] Oh yes, go on, then, tell me: what is it *this* time, eh? Ice cubes in the socks? Red peppers on the end of the tongue? Enough is enough, Madge!
Madge Bishop: Harold...
Harold Bishop: No. No. I have put up with the sniggering derision... I've put up with the low- key humour, the accusatory comments - but I have *had* it!
[waves finger animatedly]
Madge Bishop: Put that finger away!
Harold Bishop: What's next on the agenda for the neighbourhood chit- chat, eh? Ingrowing toenails? Warts? A man's home is supposed to be his *castle*!
Madge Bishop: [tersely] All right, Harold, all right - if that's the way you want it, that's the way you're going to get it - because I am pulling up the drawbridge. I am fed up with being sympathetic to your sensitivities and your snoring. I need a good night's sleep and tonight I'm going to *get* it. You'll find your things in Henry's room and you can damn well stay there until you're prepared to do something about your snoring!

"Neighbours: Episode #1.788" (1988)
Harold Bishop: [Henry has dug up a gun in Mrs Mangel's yard] Well it obviously isn't Mrs Mangel's.
Madge Bishop: Obviously. If the old bat was going to kill anybody she'd put arsenic in their tea!

"Neighbours: Episode #1.987" (1989)
Henry Ramsay: [after learning of Harold's potential Earldom] A Countess in the family!
Madge Bishop: That's right, Henry; I'm a Countess, Harold's a Count, and you're a don't-count!

"Neighbours: Episode #1.813" (1988)
Madge Bishop: [after Henry unwittingly buys a carpet containing fleas] No wonder Joe Mangel sold you the carpet cheap. Honestly, Henry!
Henry Ramsay: I'm sorry.
Madge Bishop: [Coolly] That's not good enough.
Henry Ramsay: How about *very* sorry?
Madge Bishop: No. *You* are responsible for those fleas. Now, either *you* fix *them* or *I'll* fix *you*!

"Neighbours: Episode #1.552" (1987)
Madge Ramsay: Well, Well, Well. We're late
Harold Bishop: I'm sorry, I overslept
Madge Ramsay: Well, I didn't. I've been up and buzzing around like a bee in a bottle since six! You were supposed to pick me up half an hour ago!
Harold Bishop: As I said, I *am* sorry!
Nell Mangel: [visibly annoyed at being ignored] Good Morning, Mrs Ramsay!
Madge Ramsay: We still have to get those pies to the Coffee Shop and I've gotta be at work by nine!
Nell Mangel: Mrs Ramsay, Your rudeness is incredible!
Madge Ramsay: I beg your pardon?
Nell Mangel: A savage has better manners!
Harold Bishop: Now, Now, Ladies...
Madge Ramsay: You should count yourself lucky that I'm *not* talking to you, otherwise you might find out what I really think of you, too!
Nell Mangel: I've done nothing to justify your Outrageous behaviour!
Henry Ramsay: Come on people, There's no point!
Harold Bishop: No point, Absolutely!
Madge Ramsay: You stay out of it, Henry.
[to Mrs Mangel]
Madge Ramsay: You may have *Harold* wrapped around your little finger, but let me tell you something; the rest of the street'll wake up. Pretending to be sick so people will feel sorry for you
Nell Mangel: You are a *Heartless* woman! For weeks, I've tried to be nice. You've never given me a chance!
Henry Ramsay: Mum...
Madge Ramsay: [ignoring Henry and continuing tirade] You have shown over and over again what a vicious old dragon you are!
Nell Mangel: How *dare* you!
[strikes Madge with newspaper]
Madge Ramsay: You struck me!
[hits Mrs Mangel back, causing her to cry]
Madge Ramsay: That's right, Run away!
[sees Harold going after Mrs Mangel]
Madge Ramsay: Harold Bishop, Don't you dare, Don't you *dare* follow that woman into that house!
Harold Bishop: She's very upset!
Madge Ramsay: So am I! and I'm late for work now!

"Neighbours: Episode #1.530" (1987)
Madge Mitchell: I'm damned if you are going to terrorise me and my family!
Nell Mangel: Your family... the Mitchells?
Madge Mitchell: No, Mrs. Mangel, the *Ramsays*. Henry and I have had our names changed by deed poll. Yes, that's right. I'd like to see you try to cause trouble now. The Ramsays are back in Ramsay Street and we don't take any nonsense from anyone!

"Neighbours: Episode #1.3101" (1998)
Lou Carpenter: If I recall, this is the exact spot that...
Madge Bishop: Lou, don't!
Harold Bishop: What? What happened?
Lou Carpenter: You mean she hasn't told you?
Madge Bishop: Oh, Lou Carpenter, keep your big mouth shut!
Lou Carpenter: That's not what you said thirty years ago, Madge! This is the exact spot where your wife and I had our first kiss!
Harold Bishop: You what?
Lou Carpenter: And it was one to remember, I tell ya!
Harold Bishop: So you and Lou share a personal history here, do you?
Madge Bishop: Oh, for heaven's sake, Harold, it was a long time ago.
Harold Bishop: Well if I'd know that, I'd have never signed the lease!
Madge Bishop: Don't be silly, of course you would.
Harold Bishop: I would not! As far as I'm concerned, this soil is... *soiled*.
Lou Carpenter: [stirring Harold] On the contrary, Harold. Our love really *blossomed* here, didn't it, Madge?
Harold Bishop: I've heard enough!
[stalks off]
Lou Carpenter: Oi, give me a shovel, I'll plant this for you!
Madge Bishop: Harold, where are you going?
Harold Bishop: I'm going to find a patch of dirt that you two haven't... rolled around in!