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: I need you to say 'My Name is Thea and I am NOT pregnant.'
: It smells like something died in here. Thea Clayhill
: It did... my soul.
: Do you think he'll ever forgive me? Lisa DePardo
: Do you want me to be honest? Or do you want me to make you feel better?
: Pregnant. It's brilliant. Where'd you come up with that? Thea Clayhill
: Oh, I saw it on an episode of law and order. Yeah, you can't fire a pregnant women. Discrimination, lawsuits, bad mojo... whatever. Lisa DePardo
: You know, I find it fascinating that Kristin is only a month further along than you, and yet she's the size of a school bus while you're still over here looking like Kate Moss. Thea Clayhill
: Uh, different strokes, I guess. Greg
: Perhaps it's easier to feel the bump than to see it.
[reaches for Thea's stomach, Lisa swats at his hand
: What's the big deal? Everyone likes to touch a pregnant stomach. Lisa DePardo
: Because you're a gross weirdo, Greg. Thea Clayhill
: And the baby doesn't like gross weirdos, Greg!
: If you want people to think you're pregnant, you gotta start talking the talk and walking the... waddle.
: I look rediculous. These jeans are elastic on the top. I feel like I'm wearing a condom on my stomach. Lisa DePardo
: Trust me, you don't look like you've been anywhere NEAR a condom.
: Ew. Look at those nipples!
[reading a pregnancy book
: Congratulations, Thea. Thea Clayhill
: Thank you, Greg. Greg
: You really think you can get to the top by playing games, don't cha? I know what you're up to, Thea. And I think that it stinks. It super stinks. Lisa DePardo
: Hm. Thea Clayhill
: Well, really? Do you think that it stinks that I wanna hire you to be my assistant? Greg
: Really? Thea Clayhill
: You'll start first thing Monday after I put the paperwork through. Greg
: Oh wow, Thea. Thea, thank you so much. I- I could kiss you right now. Thea Clayhill
: You don't have to do that. Greg
: I'll see you later, boss.
: He's actually kinda cute, though. Don't ya think? Lisa DePardo
: Who? Thea Clayhill
: Um... Nick. Lisa DePardo
: Um... No.