Leo Koenig
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Quotes for
Leo Koenig (Character)
from Funny People (2009)

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Funny People (2009)
Mark: When my grandfather died, there was one candle next to his bed. And the candle started flickering. We all thought it was him going to Heaven, you know?
Leo: You don't pass through fire to get to Heaven. I think he went to Hell.

Mark: Don't put me in this position where I have to fuck my way out of a corner!
Leo: He'll do it too. I've seen him.

Leo: If you put "cute kitten" in the title of your YouTube video, you're gonna get a million hits. And then I link that to my website and you can see my stand-up on my website. It's genius.
Ira Wright: Why don't you just call it like, "Megan Fox Blows Someone"? And then more people would Google that.

Leo: You son of a bitch! Why didn't you tell me George Simmons wanted us to write jokes for him?

Leo: Go lose 20 more pounds, you son of a bitch!

Leo: Why don't you go suck George Simmons's cock?

Leo: I can't believe George Simmons is dying. I grew up on his movies.

Leo: I just came back from the new Harry Potter movie. Harry's getting old. They should start calling him Harold Potter.

Leo: I wanna put my eye-glasses on your asshole so it looks like you're blowing me when I fuck you in the ass, you *jerk*.

Leo: It's not my fault your grandpa is playing backgammon with Hitler.