Natalie Hurley
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Quotes for
Natalie Hurley (Character)
from "Sports Night" (1998)

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"Sports Night: Smoky (#1.12)" (1999)
Dana Whitaker: Jeremy.
Jeremy Goodwin: Yes?
Dana Whitaker: Tell me the story so far on UCLA/Arizona.
Jeremy Goodwin: The story, Dana, is shooting percentage. Shooting percentage and offensive glass. Last I checked, UCLA was 12-for-24 from the field, 1-for-6 at the stripe. Arizona's press forced 12 turnovers, which led to 15 points. The 'cats, needless to say, were dominant in the paint, and McDuffy's got four fouls. That is the story.
Natalie: Jeremy.
Jeremy Goodwin: Yes?
Dana Whitaker: What's the score?
Jeremy Goodwin: Wow.
Dana Whitaker: Jeremy.
Jeremy Goodwin: Devil's in the details.

Dana Whitaker: Natalie?
Natalie: Yeah?
Dana Whitaker: You're thinking about how you'd redecorate my office right now, aren't you?
Natalie: I was not.
Dana Whitaker: Yes, you were.
Natalie: I was totally not at all.
Dana Whitaker: In your little mind, you were measuring for new curtains.
Natalie: I was not measuring for curtains.
Dana Whitaker: You'd keep the curtains?
Natalie: And dump the plants.
Dana Whitaker: Thank you.

Isaac: Things that I say in my office STAY in my office.
Dana Whitaker: Natalie's my second-in-command, she's the only one I told.
Natalie Hurley: Jeremy's my boyfriend, he's the only one I told.
Jeremy Goodwin: I told many, many people.

Isaac Jaffe: ...Furthermore, Dana, things that I tell you in my office stay in my office.
Dana Whitaker: Well, Natalie's my second in command, she's the only one I told.
Natalie Hurley: Jeremy's my boyfriend, he's the only one I told.
Jeremy Goodwin: I told many, many people.

"Sports Night: Pilot (#1.1)" (1998)
Dana Whitaker: Name three things.
Jeremy Goodwin: Improve their free-throw percentage...
Natalie: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: Run the floor...
Dana Whitaker: Okay. One more.
Jeremy Goodwin: Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?
Natalie: Excellent!
Dana Whitaker: Well, welcome to Sports Night.

Dan Rydell: Why are we quoting high-level sources inside the Swiss Olympic Committee on Helsinki's bid for the 2010 Olympics?
Dana Whitaker: What's the problem?
Dan Rydell: Helsinki's in Finland.
Dana Whitaker: Really?
Dan Rydell: Yeah. Don't worry. I got it.
Dana Whitaker: Are you sure?
Dan Rydell: Am I sure that Helsinki's in Finland? Yeah. I'm quite sure.
Will: I thought it was in Sweden.
Chris: It says "unnamed Swiss Olympic officials."
Natalie Hurley: [shouting] Graphics, which is it? Sweden or Switzerland?
Casey McCall: It's in FINLAND!

Casey McCall: He's made eight field goal attempts in three games and has connected in the grand total of none of them.
Elliot: Oh, I've met him. He's a good guy.
Casey McCall: He can't kick.
Natalie Hurley: He IS a good guy.
Casey McCall: He can't kick.
Natalie Hurley: He'll get picked up by another team.
Casey McCall: No he won't. You know why?
Elliot: Why?
Casey McCall: Cause he can't kick!

"Sports Night: The Quality of Mercy at 29K (#1.9)" (1998)
[Re: Mount Everest]
Jeremy Goodwin: 29,000 feet. Do you know how tall that is?
Will: It's 29,000 feet.
Jeremy Goodwin: Yes.
Chris: It's actually 29,029 feet.
Dana Whitaker: But it's those last ten yards that'll kill ya.
Jeremy Goodwin: It's huge. It's 8,848 meters.
Natalie Hurley: It sounds more impressive at 29,000 feet.
Jeremy Goodwin: Alright, I'm going to stick with 29,000 feet. How can I best express this? How many of what kind of thing would we have to line up end to end?
Elliot: Twenty-nine thousand rulers.

Casey McCall: I climb. I'm a climber.
Dan Rydell: You climb at your gym.
Casey McCall: Darm tootin' I do, and it's a challenging ascent.
Dan Rydell: It's a wall in a gym.
Casey McCall: It simulates a Class III mountain.
Natalie Hurley: I hear the air gets pretty thin up near the juice bar.

Natalie Hurley: Two guys have ascended five miles into the sky. They walked up a wall of ice, and are preparing to knock on the door of Heaven itself. There's really no end to what we can do. You know what the trick is?
Dan Rydell: What?
Natalie Hurley: Get in the game.

"Sports Night: Shoe Money Tonight (#1.10)" (1998)
Jeremy Goodwin: Natalie, listen to me. You've lost a lot of money to me tonight. You're basically gonna be living the rest of your life on a charitable grant from the Jeremy Goodwin Foundation. Take the hundred bucks back and fold.
Natalie Hurley: Scared?
Jeremy Goodwin: I've got a straight, you've got three sevens.
Natalie Hurley: You don't have a straight.
Jeremy Goodwin: Look at me. I'm not lying to you. I have a straight.
Natalie Hurley: How do you know I don't have a big house?
Jeremy Goodwin: A FULL house. Dan already folded the six you needed, and I have the other one. You don't have a house of any sort, you don't have a pup tent. You've got trip sevens, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life, they were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the break-up-with-him-before-he-breaks-my-heart strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don't think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you that you have three sevens, and I have a straight.

Natalie Hurley: [Jeremy is beating Natalie at poker] Of my entire roster of boyfriends - and it is, believe me, quite the *lengthy* list - *you* are my least favorite.
Jeremy Goodwin: Hey, I'm just happy to be on the team.

Dan Rydell: I say double down, what do you do ?
Casey McCall: Can we stop ?
Dan Rydell: I say double down, what do you do ?
Casey McCall: How do you know you're in the zone ?
Dan Rydell: [slams deck of cards down] Cut me.
Casey McCall: Danny, I...
Dan Rydell: Cut the cards.
Casey McCall: Nine.
Dan Rydell: Jack.
Casey McCall: Seven.
Dan Rydell: Eight.
Casey McCall: [pauses] Queen.
Dan Rydell: [pauses] Ace.
Casey McCall: Dude, you are in the zone.
Dan Rydell: I say double down...
Casey McCall: I double my ass down.
Natalie Hurley: Fellas, I've got some bad news.
Casey McCall: There's no bad news tonight, Natalie. When the show comes down Danny and I are hopping a limo, heading down the Garden State Parkway and getting off at the exit clearly marked, The Zone.
Natalie Hurley: That's great, Casey, but all those things you just said...
Casey McCall: Yeh.
Natalie Hurley: Not gonna happen.

"Sports Night: The Hungry and the Hunted (#1.3)" (1998)
Dan Rydell: Nobody move! Name five teams that play in the MLS, and Casey says it's an American soccer league so you can't choose Luxembourg. Go.
Natalie Hurley: Columbus Crew.
Elliot: Miami Fusion.
Natalie Hurley: New England Revolution.
Kim: Tampa Bay Mutiny.
Natalie Hurley: D.C. United.
Dave: Chicago Fire.
Natalie Hurley: Colorado Rapids.
Chris: Dallas Burn.
Natalie Hurley: Kansas City Wizards.
Will: Los Angeles Galaxy.
Natalie Hurley: And the New York/New Jersey Metro-Stars.
Dan Rydell: You all just made that up, didn't you?
Casey McCall: You got smoked.

Dan Rydell: Greatest sport in the world, Dana. Greatest sport - great for kids.
Natalie Hurley: All you need is forty million dollars and a dream.

Natalie Hurley: Wait. There are two cars downstairs.
Dan Rydell: Good.
Natalie Hurley: I want you to ride with Isaac.
Dan Rydell: Fine.
Natalie Hurley: I want you to ride with Isaac so that Casey rides with Dana.
Dan Rydell: That's fine.
Natalie Hurley: [knowingly] I want Casey to ride with Dana.
Dan Rydell: I get it.
Natalie Hurley: Do you?
Dan Rydell: I ride with Isaac and Casey and Dana fall in love.
Natalie Hurley: Right!
Dan Rydell: Wow, is that a stupid plan.

"Sports Night: Ordnance Tactics (#1.20)" (1999)
Natalie Hurley: Does this include Seattle?
Chris: Yes.
Will: No.
Chris: It does.
Will: It doesn't.
Natalie Hurley: The film from last night?
Chris: Yes.
Natalie Hurley: Seattle?
Chris: Yes.
Natalie Hurley: It does?
Chris: It does.
Will: It doesn't.
Natalie Hurley: Dave.
Dave: Hey, Betty, Wilma - is Seattle on the tape?

Jeremy Goodwin: [Announcing to the staff] Natalie and I have broken up.
[Natalie shakes her head "no"]
Jeremy Goodwin: We *have*!
Natalie Hurley: In his head.
Jeremy Goodwin: I put it in writing.
Natalie Hurley: That's sweet.
Jeremy Goodwin: Alright, just so you know, if I wanted to, *right now*, I could ask out other women.
Natalie Hurley: No.
Jeremy Goodwin: I could.
Natalie Hurley: No.
Jeremy Goodwin: Dana, would you like to go out with me?
Dana Whitaker: I can't.
Jeremy Goodwin: Why not?
Dana Whitaker: You're seeing Natalie.
Jeremy Goodwin: [shouting] That's it! I'm calling the police!

"Sports Night: Dear Louise (#1.7)" (1998)
Natalie Hurley: On page 66, halfway down in the NFL injury report, it says "Collins is expected to miss practice this week, the result of a bulging disk."
Dan Rydell: Yeah?
Natalie Hurley: There's a typo on the TelePrompter. They left out the 's.'
Casey McCall: Collins is expected to be sidelined a week to 10 days with a bulging di-Uh Oh.
Dan Rydell: Whoa. That's a big 10-4.
Casey McCall: My next line in the script was "Let's go to the videotape."
Natalie Hurley: We might have gotten some phone calls.

[Talking about his writer's block]
Dan Rydell: And I wanna ask for your patience and support during this period.
[Natalie splashes water in his face]
Dan Rydell: Okay. Why did that happen?
Natalie Hurley: Shock therapy.
Dan Rydell: Shock therapy.
Natalie Hurley: Leave this to me. I'm gonna knock the writer's block right outta you.
Dan Rydell: By throwing water in my face?
Natalie Hurley: By surprising you with the unexpected. That was step one. There's not gonna be anymore water.
Dan Rydell: What's step two?
[She splashes water in his face again]
Dan Rydell: I thought you said there wasn't going to be anymore water?
Natalie Hurley: It was surprising and unexpected.
Dan Rydell: Yes it was.

"Sports Night: Kyle Whitaker's Got Two Sacks (#2.7)" (1999)
Natalie: Dana, stop sacking Dave.

Dana Whitaker: My brother can beat up your brother.
Natalie: My brother's a grad student in comparative literature. My mother could beat up my brother.

"Sports Night: Dana and the Deep Blue Sea (#1.15)" (1999)
Dan Rydell: Dana, Casey's being mean to me.
Dana Whitaker: Casey, be nice to Dan.
Casey McCall: "The Sophomore sensation credits her agility and quick first step to her father who used to take her to a neighborhood park all covered with cheese". Dana, we've got all kinds of sentence construction here. I think he's going to have to explain that it's the park that's covered with cheese and not the father.
Dan Rydell: This is an unforgiving room.
Natalie Hurley: Plus, it's a little hard to figure how running through cheese helped the kid with her agility and quick first step.
Dan Rydell: Thankyou everyone.

Dan Rydell: I'm not distracted.
Dave: In three, two...
Dan Rydell: The Sophomore sensation credits her agility and quick first step to her father who used to take her to a neighborhood park all covered with cheese. We'll be bringing you part two of that story tomorrow night. Casey.
Casey McCall: The San Diego Padres...
[back in the Control Room]
Jeremy Goodwin: Did he just say cheese?
Elliot: He did just say cheese.
Dana Whitaker: What was it supposed to be?
Jeremy Goodwin: What was it *supposed* to be?
Natalie Hurley: Let me find it.
Jeremy Goodwin: "A park all covered with cheese"?
Dana Whitaker: I had three people talking in my ear.
Natalie Hurley: I can't find it, what block?
Kim: We just did it.
Elliot: The 50's
Will: 55
Jeremy Goodwin: How about "a park all covered with trees"?
Natalie Hurley: He said cheese?
Jeremy Goodwin: Welcome to the show.

"Sports Night: A Girl Named Pixley (#2.9)" (1999)
Dan Rydell: What's goin's on?
Natalie Hurley: We only have six minutes and twenty-five seconds worth of show for tomorrow.
Dan Rydell: No problem.
Dana Whitaker: No problem?
Dan Rydell: I can stretch it.
Dana Whitaker: You can't stretch it.
Dan Rydell: Dana, I'm a writer. I stretch things all the time. Give me six minutes and twenty-five seconds worth of copy, and I'll stretch it into an hour. I've done it before.
Dana Whitaker: No, you haven't. You've stretched six minutes and twenty-five seconds into *seven* minutes and twenty-five seconds.
Dan Rydell: Hmm. It certainly seemed like an hour.

Dana Whitaker: [sighs disgustedly] Sally?
Natalie Hurley: Yes.
Dana Whitaker: My Sally?
Natalie Hurley: Casey's Sally.
Dana Whitaker: Sally is going to win my award.
Natalie Hurley: Jeremy's award.

"Sports Night: Rebecca (#1.14)" (1999)
Dana Whitaker: That's your only advice?
Natalie Hurley: No, I have other advice.
Dana Whitaker: What?
Natalie Hurley: [pause] That was my only advice.

Dana Whitaker: Does 20B have film?
Natalie Hurley: The end of the Michigan game?
Dana Whitaker: Yeah.
Natalie Hurley: Not yet.
Dana Whitaker: Jeremy? We don't have film on the end of the Michigan game?
Jeremy Goodwin: No.
Dana Whitaker: Why not?
Jeremy Goodwin: We're waiting for them to *play* the end of the Michigan game.

"Sports Night: Ten Wickets (#1.21)" (1999)
Natalie Hurley: Dana, this is a fully grown man of enormous dignity and accomplishment. He's covered wars, and he's dined with kings, and he can't move the left side of his body, and he doesn't want us to see him like that.

Natalie Hurley: I didn't wanna tell you before you went on the air.
Dan Rydell: Didn't stop Rebecca.
Jeremy Goodwin: That was my fault.
Dan Rydell: Then you are my sworn enemy!
Jeremy Goodwin: Dan ?
Dan Rydell: I love you man. Give me a hug.

"Sports Night: The Sweet Smell of Air (#2.12)" (2000)
[after making a presentation for his son's class]
Natalie: What did you do?
Casey McCall: I did what I do, Natalie. I did what I do.
Dan Rydell: You screwed up your romantic life in front of fifth-graders?

"Sports Night: Louise Revisited (#2.4)" (1999)
Natalie Hurley: Hello.
Jeremy Goodwin: AHHH!
Natalie Hurley: Why'd you scream?
Jeremy Goodwin: I meant to say hi.
Natalie Hurley: What happened?
Jeremy Goodwin: I misspoke.

"Sports Night: Special Powers (#2.1)" (1999)
Natalie: Men always think they can cover up their, you know, with this other thing. But women always know.
Jeremy Goodwin: No they don't. And do you know why? Because women don't have special powers. Let's dispense with that theory right now. They don't have intuition, they don't have a sixth sense.

"Sports Night: La Forza Del Destino (#2.21)" (2000)
Natalie Hurley: Jeremy, one day you'll see that my love for you isn't the product of liquor-induced mood swings and that I'm yours for the taking at your command. And that the day I broke up with your was the most regrettable day of my life.
Jeremy Goodwin: Okay. But I broke up with you.
Natalie Hurley: I find you loathsome, and my hatred of you knows no bounds.
Jeremy Goodwin: Okay.

"Sports Night: Kafelnikov (#2.5)" (1999)
[During the Y2K practice run]
Casey McCall: Zamfir, master of the pan flute, was 26-for-32 in passing...
Dave: Cue graphics.
Chris: Graphics are up.
Jeremy Goodwin: Graphics are up, my good friends. As sure as the sun sets in the west, as sure as there will always be an England, the graphics are up.
Dana Whitaker: Natalie?
Natalie Hurley: Yeah.
Dana Whitaker: Way too much sugar for him lately.
Natalie Hurley: I know.
Casey McCall: For more on that, we take you to our ship's purser, Gopher Smith, who's standing by on the Lido deck. Gopher?

"Sports Night: Eli's Coming (#1.19)" (1999)
Jeremy Goodwin: Maybe he stopped off.
Dana Whitaker: Where?
Jeremy Goodwin: For a pretzel.
Dana Whitaker: I'm serious. He was supposed to be ...
Jeremy Goodwin: Well, he has been in Europe for 2 weeks. He hasn't had a decent pretzel. Maybe he stopped off and that was the cause for the delay.
Dana Whitaker: And how long does it take to buy a pretzel?
Jeremy Goodwin: Well, you've punctured a hole in my theory.
Natalie Hurley: Also, Bobbi isn't here yet.
Jeremy Goodwin: She called from the car.
Dana Whitaker: And?
Jeremy Goodwin: Stopped off for a pretzel.

"Sports Night: The Reunion (#2.8)" (1999)
Natalie Hurley: I was wondering if you had a chance to look at it?
Dan Rydell: Yes.
Natalie Hurley: And ?
Dan Rydell: It's good.
Natalie Hurley: That's all ?
Dan Rydell: It's excellent.
Natalie Hurley: You don't know what I'm talking about, do you ?
Dan Rydell: No.
Natalie Hurley: My reel.
Dan Rydell: Yes.
Natalie Hurley: My audition tape.
Dan Rydell: Yes, Natalie, it's very good.
Natalie Hurley: You haven't watched it yet.
Dan Rydell: No.
Natalie Hurley: Dan!
Dan Rydell: I'm sorry.
Natalie Hurley: This is important to me.
Dan Rydell: I know it is.
Natalie Hurley: When have I not been there for you ?
Dan Rydell: You've never not been there for me.
Natalie Hurley: I'm coming to you for guidance.
Dan Rydell: And guidance you will get.
Casey McCall: What's going on ?
Natalie Hurley: Dan's a loser.

"Sports Night: Dana Get Your Gun (#2.13)" (2000)
Natalie Hurley: I'm gonna push the Dodgers' training camp into the 30s, which will let us move Dale Earnhardt upfront.
Dana Whitaker: I've got a gun under my desk.
Natalie Hurley: Or we can keep everything where it is.

"Sports Night: And the Crowd Goes Wild (#2.14)" (2000)
Natalie Hurley: I'm upset because there's a principle, a bedrock principle that doesn't change, and now I'm supposed to hand over these things. I'm supposed to hand over these things that are ours.

"Sports Night: The Apology (#1.2)" (1998)
Dan Rydell: Now, if I'm nervous about anything, it's that I think I have a stalker.
Natalie Hurley: A stalker?
Dan Rydell: Mm-hmm.
Natalie Hurley: Who?
Dan Rydell: One of the "CSC Morning" aerobics women.
Natalie Hurley: Sandy?
Dan Rydell: Is her name Sandy?
Natalie Hurley: Randy?
Dan Rydell: Mandy.
Natalie Hurley: Mandy.
Dan Rydell: Madeline.
Casey McCall: Natalie!

"Sports Night: Mary Pat Shelby (#1.5)" (1998)
Natalie: Right now, this second, how much do you love me?

"Sports Night: Draft Day: Part 1 - It Can't Rain at Indian Wells (#2.17)" (2000)
Natalie Hurley: *I* broke up with *you* there, Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss with a myriad of other problems which I won't even go into but thinks that he broke up with me because of the short-term memory loss which is so obvious".
Jeremy Goodwin: No need to be formal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jeremy.

"Sports Night: Sally (#1.16)" (1999)
Natalie Hurley: This is one of those moments I'm compelled to tell you how wonderful you are. Every once in a while, I'm reminded how lucky I am to be dating a solid, mature man.
[Jeremy nods, smiling, but not opening his mouth]
Natalie Hurley: Jeremy, swallow the eggnog.
Jeremy Goodwin: [Letting the eggnog dribble down his chin] I just can't.

"Sports Night: Thespis (#1.8)" (1998)
Natalie Hurley: So Thespis is the Roman god of theatre?
Jeremy Goodwin: That's exactly right. Except he's not Roman and he's not a god.
Natalie Hurley: What is he?
Jeremy Goodwin: He's Greek and he's a ghost.
Dana Whitaker: Who's Artemis?
Jeremy Goodwin: Artemis?
Dana Whitaker: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: Artemis is goddess of the moon, the hunt, chastity and fertility.
[everybody oohs and aahs]
Dana Whitaker: Your boy knows his mythology.
Natalie Hurley: Give him another one.
Kim: Athena.
Dave: [counting back from commercial] 30 seconds.
Jeremy Goodwin: Goddess of wisdom, the arts, and war.
Casey McCall: Mercury.
Jeremy Goodwin: God of commerce, wrestling, gymnastics, thieving, good luck, sleep, wealth, and dreams.
Casey McCall: Wow.
Natalie Hurley: There's a god of thieving?
Casey McCall: There's a god of gymnastics?
Jeremy Goodwin: Yes, indeed.