Chris D'Amico
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Quotes for
Chris D'Amico (Character)
from Kick-Ass (2010)

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Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
Chris D'Amico: [laughs] Oh, this is perfect. Are you really that stupid? There's two of you, and a whole army of us. Do you really have such a hard-on to die?

Dave Lizewski: What's the matter, Chris? Shit hit your shorts?
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, and I'm gonna wipe my ass with your face.

Dave Lizewski: You're gonna pay for what you did to my dad.
Chris D'Amico: Your dad? You blew up my dad with a bazooka.

Chris D'Amico: [posing with guns] I know what my role is in this, Javier. My dad was a crime boss, so it just makes sense. I'm a super-villain! It's evolution.
Javier: Come on, just put those things down before you hurt somebody, Chris.
Chris D'Amico: That's not my name.
Javier: Okay, okay... uh, red-Red Mist.
Chris D'Amico: No, Red Mist was my superhero name. Henceforth I'll be known as The Motherfucker!

Chris D'Amico: I'm here to end Kick-Ass.

Chris D'Amico: We are the Toxic Mega-Cunts!

Chris D'Amico: What the hell, Mom? Did you delete the news off the DVR?
Mrs. D'Amico: Yes. Yes I did, Christopher.
Chris D'Amico: That was the one with Kick-Ass!
Mrs. D'Amico: Ugh, Christopher! You've got to stop obsessing over this superhero!
Chris D'Amico: He is not a superhero, Mom. He's a murderer! He blew Dad up with a bazooka, for fuck's sake!
Mrs. D'Amico: [making sign of the cross] Your father died in a fire.
Chris D'Amico: A fire! What is your problem?
Mrs. D'Amico: You! You are my problem! I am trying to raise you to be a normal boy. That's why we moved to Long Island after your father's accident.
Chris D'Amico: A bazooka is not an accident, you delusional bitch!

Javier: [referring to Mrs. D'Amico] Damn she had a nice pair of guns.
Chris D'Amico: Dude, she's dead! Don't talk about her tits.
Javier: [holding pistols] I was talking about these.

Old Man: [walking in on The Motherfucker's robbery] What's wrong with you, boy?
Chris D'Amico: Get on the floor too, Gandalf, or I will bust a cap in your ass!
Old Man: You're going to bust your own face when that gun kicks if you don't hold it properly.
Chris D'Amico: Just get on the ground!
[Old Man slowly gets on the floor]
Chris D'Amico: [getting agitated] God! Will you hurry up?
[the Motherfucker shoots his gun, hitting himself in the face]
Old Man: I told you!

Chris D'Amico: Anybody else want to be a super-villain? Promise I pay better than Chuck "little dick" Liddell!

Chris D'Amico: Javier, thank you. I couldn't do this without you. You're pretty much like the only real family I have left.
Javier: Not a problem, man. I got your back.
Chris D'Amico: Hey, it's kind of like you're the Alfred to my evil Bruce Wayne.
Javier: Did you just call me your fucking butler?
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, is that not a compliment? Shit, my bad.

Uncle Ralph: It's okay to have a bit of fun but you can't go hiring a gang of heavy hitters. Javier should've told you.
Chris D'Amico: No, it doesn't matter. Uncle Ralph, I'm going to make Kick-Ass pay for what he did to us.
Uncle Ralph: Chrisy, you need to forget that punk. It's more important that you stay out of this. You're not like me, your dad. You're... special.
Chris D'Amico: You can't tell me what to do anymore. I know who I am now.
Uncle Ralph: Oh yeah, and who's that?
Chris D'Amico: The Motherfucker.
[Uncle Ralph laughs]
Uncle Ralph: You think you're the big bad guy, huh? Let me show you what real evil looks like.

Dave Lizewski: What is wrong with you dude? This is not a comic book. This is real life! When you're dead, it's done. There's no sequel.
Chris D'Amico: You made this real. You started it. And I'm going to end it! I'll be immortal. Like an evil Jesus!

Colonel Stars and Stripes: [to Eisenhower] You have to stay in there till you calm down, you lunatic. Wonder what's bothering you.
Mother Russia: I know. Tonight you die.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [draws gun] Ladies first.
Mother Russia: You will not shoot me. You are super hero. You help people. You do not hurt them.
Chris D'Amico: That's super villain territory or as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts.
The Tumor: [waves] Hi.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [takes gun; clicks, Mother Russia realizes it's empty] Yeah, just like your head.
Genghis Carnage: [Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him] Yeah!
The Tumor: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
[Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]
Chris D'Amico: I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [dying] I used to hangout with a lot of losers.
Chris D'Amico: Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?
Colonel Stars and Stripes: Who are you supposed to be?
Chris D'Amico: I'm the Mother Fucker! And I'm here to end Kick-Ass. Not just kill him. I am going to shit on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys.
[picks up mail statement]
Chris D'Amico: Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team?
[googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster]
Chris D'Amico: Night Bitch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.
Mother Russia: Want me to kill his dog?
Chris D'Amico: The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm starving. Let's go get some pizza.
Mother Russia: Don't worry, I kill you first.
[wraps legs around Colonel's neck]
Colonel Stars and Stripes: Justice Forever...
[snaps neck; dies]

Chris D'Amico: [Kicking Dave Lizewski in the ground] No. No. People WANT to win the lottery, people WANT to fuck Scarlett Johansson, no one WANTS to risk their life so some moron can walk through the projects at night.

Kick-Ass (2010)
Chris D'Amico: Dad, you better fire this asshole!
Frank D'Amico: Ignore him... a bazooka?
[the huge goon nods]
Frank D'Amico: OK.

Chris D'Amico: Yeah, that's right! We're superheroes! You love us!

[Stu barges into Frank's office and Frank almost shoots him]
Huge Goon: Whoa! It's only me boss. Everything's under control.
[slowly creeps over to the bazooka while Frank & Chris stare at him]
Chris D'Amico: Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumbass!
Huge Goon: [looks at Frank] Sir?
Frank D'Amico: Do it.

[last lines]
Dave Lizewski: [voiceover] Kick-Ass was gone but not forgotten. And my world was a lot safer with the new generation of superheroes. They said I was their inspiration. But all I did was open a door to a world I'd dreamed about since I was a little kid.
[cut to Chris/Red Mist in his father's office]
Chris D'Amico: A world full of superheroes, eh?
[Chris turns around, showing his revamped Red Mist costume, and dons a new, decidedly more 'supervillain' mask]
Chris D'Amico: As a great man once said... wait 'til they get a load of me.

[Chris hands his father a list]
Frank D'Amico: What's this?
Chris D'Amico: That's everything I need. And you may have to screw someone over. Like Louie...
Big Joe: Louie? Whoa, Chris.
Chris D'Amico: Or somebody, it doesn't have to be Louie.
Big Joe: Tony.
Chris D'Amico: Tony!
Frank D'Amico: Tony?
Chris D'Amico: I've always hated Tony.
Big Joe: Yeah, fuck Tony. He's a scumbag.
Frank D'Amico: Tony.
[hands the paper back]