Carlos
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Quotes for
Carlos (Character)
from The Benchwarmers (2006)

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The Benchwarmers (2006)
Wayne: Is that beer?
Carlos: [stumbling] No it's Gatorade homie, get out of my way.

Carlos: Looks like the Gus Bus is out of gas.

Gus: [upon seeing Carlos enter] Hey, what's going on here? How come he's playing?
Wayne: Oh, ah, I couldn't play him before because he was feeling ill.
Carlos: Me tummy, es sicko.
Umpire: Well you got proof he's a kid?
Gus: Come on! Look at his beard. He's 50.
Wayne: Not according to birth certifico.
[hands umpire the crumpled up paper he saw earlier]
Umpire: [looks inside and sees 'I am 12' written in green crayon, with a picture of Carlos and $10. He carefully pockets the $10 and folds the paper back up] He's got documentation. Play ball!

Howie: [quivering] Carlos?
Carlos: Who say my name?
Howie: [gives him 2 packs of beer and a tequila] I brought you a present from the Benchwarmers. You're really good at baseball.
Carlos: [happy] Thank you Albino.
[bold]
Carlos: Now get lost!
Howie: [cowers away screeching]

[after purosely stomping on Gus's hand]
Carlos: Sorry. It was accident.
[lifts foot off Gus's hand]

[seeing three Howie's thru his blurred vision]
Carlos: Look at all those Albinos.

Carlos: No really, I need another refill.
Wayne: You need to go to an AA meeting.

[Carlos is drinking a tequilla while pitching]
Carlos: Maria? Why did you leave me?
Mel: Letting that 12 year old drink like that is disgusting.

Richie: Dude. You smell like beer.
Carlos: You look like beer.

Wayne: Carlos your drunk!
Carlos: [Carlos throws up] Blaaaaaa!