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: God bless the perv that invented these. Remember the power motto girls.
[the Cheerios repeat along with Quinn
] Quinn Fabray
: It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.
[the Cheerios dance and grind suggestively
] Quinn Fabray
: Back it up like a dump truck baby.
: [Inflates a white balloon
] Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now remember if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.
: If you quit I'll let you touch my breasts. Finn Hudson
: Under the shirt? Quinn Fabray
: Over the bra.
: Let's pair up for the immaculate affection.
[Places balloon between Finn and Herself at pelvic level
] Quinn Fabray
: Remember: if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.
: I'm sorry Coach Sylvester, but something is happening between Finn and that thing! You saw how it was undressing it with its eyes!
: People think you're gay now, Finn. And do you know what that makes me? Your big, gay beard!
: Miss Fabray! Wait. You know, there's only one person in this world that you care about. And that's yourself. Quinn Fabray
: You have no idea... Will Schuester
: [hammers his hand at the table
] I'M NOT FINISHED! Becky Jackson
: Woah, woah, woah. Will Schuester
: You're not a little girl anymore, Quinn. How long are you planning on playing the victim card? Since day one, you've done nothing but sabotage the same Glee club that's been there for you over and over again! When you got pregnant, when your parents kicked you out... You know, Mercedes even let you live in her house! And I don't recall ever hearing so much as a 'thank you'. Tonight, you're a train wreck. Well, congratulations. But you stride into my office and tell me it's MY fault? Well, then I have something to say to you... Grow up.
: You can't be in here. It's the girls' bathroom. Noah 'Puck' Puckerman
: I'm always here. The stalls are cleaner.
: I've realized that after smoking all day, it hurts to stand.
: [on regrets
] Thinking "Trust Me" was a sensible birth control option.
: If we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition, which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us. Quinn Fabray
: So you want us to T.P their choir room? Will Schuester
: Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh- maybe-maybe we should steal their school statue. Kurt Hummel
: Their school statue is a giant, bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.
: What's this? Noah 'Puck' Puckerman
: This is all the money leftover from my pool cleaning business. After I bought dip... and nunchucks.
: What are we going to do? Quinn Fabray
: What are you going to do? Finn Hudson
: I'm looking for a job. I mean no one's hiring. I almost got in at Olive Garden, but they said I was too tall to be a busboy.
: New year, and I've finally found myself. I'm not sure what the tipping point was: Dying my hair, the nose ring, my erotic tattoo of Ryan Seacrest... But one thing I know, I'm never going back.
: [to Santana & Brittany
] You guys are such suckers for going back to Sue Sylvester. Santana Lopez
: Come on, screw her. This is for us. We can win two National championships this year. We joined Cheerios together, we joined Glee club together, we all slept with Puckerman the same year. We're like besties for life. Brittany Pierce
: Yeah, come on, Quinn. We used to be the Three Musketeers. Now Santana and I are like Almond Joy and you're like a Jolly Rancher that fell in the ashtray.
: I wanna pit these kids against one another, am I clear? Quinn, update. Go. Quinn Fabray
: The minority students don't feel like they're being heard. Sue Sylvester
: Ah, a chink in the armor, huh? I am going to create an environment that it so toxic, no one will want to be a part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple, and I salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years. You know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs.
: [stands at Rachel's locker after she closes it
] Listen here, treasure trail. We're about to have a smack-down. Rachel Berry
: I don't want to have a confrontation.
[Passes Quinn and starts to walk off
] Quinn Fabray
: Don't play stupid with me, stubbles. I'm having Finn's baby and you need to back off! I'm asking you as nice as I possibly can. Leave him alone. Rachel Berry
: [Stops walking and turns to Quinn
] You're right. I-I've helped you not because it's the right thing to do, but because I had romantic ulterior motives. But just so we're clear, you're the one who's cheating. Quinn Fabray
: Excuse me? Rachel Berry
: [They start walking once again
] I have on good authority that you're Sue Sylvester's mole and you can deny it all you want, but I know it's true. Quinn Fabray
: I have no idea what you're talking about. Rachel Berry
: [They walk up a flight of stairs
] Sue's not on your side, Quinn; she's not on anyone's side but her own. Can you imagine what she's going to do when she finds out about your situation? She'll probably rip off your uniform with her bare hands.
[Rachel stops walking at the top of the stairs and turns to face Quinn
] Rachel Berry
: All right. Every time you whisper in her ear you empower her to do more damage to the Glee Club. And right now, Glee Club is all you have. And if I were you, I'd recognise who my true friends are. And I'd practice a little more because you obviously have a lot you need to express. Quinn Fabray
: Oh, you have no idea!
[Quinn turns around and breaks into song as she sings 'You Keep Me Hangin' On'
: There's nothing going on between me and Rachel. Quinn Fabray
: All I know is that when I don't catch you staring at me... you're staring at her.
: Three weeks ago, you said you were sad I didn't have a lizard baby.
[Karofsky throws a slushie in Finn's face. Finn pushes Karofsky against a locker
] Finn Hudson
: What the hell, Karofsky? Dave Karofsky
: [Karofsky pushes Finn back
] Oh, I've wanted to do that ever since fifth grade when you made fun of me for getting pubes. Now that you've joined Lullaby Lees and insperminated the queen of the Chastity Ball, and dropped below us hockey dudes on the food chain? It's open season! Quinn Fabray
: Screw you, Karofsky! You and your neanderthal puckheads are nothing! Finn Hudson
: You're gonna pay for this, dude! Dave Karofsky
: No I'm not. You two don't have the juice anymore. Welcome to the new world order.
: When my mom applied to college, she put being popular as her main extracurricular activity.
: They say that you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Well, Rachel Berry... You just got yourself a new best friend.
: What are you doing Friday night? Noah 'Puck' Puckerman
: Just the usual. Stand outside the 7-Eleven and look depressed until someone offers to buy me beer.
: I left your father. Well, I kicked him out. Turns out he was sleeping with this tattooed tramp. I want you to come home, honey. We can turn the guest room into a nursery... say something, Quinnie. Quinn Fabray
: My water just broke.
: Would you please stop talking, you're grossing out my baby.
: Let me get this straight. The glee club got rid of Dakota Stanley, Mr Schuester's back and they're busy at work on a new number more confident than ever.
[Cut to scene of Glee Club rehearsing
] Sue Sylvester
: This is what we call a total disaster ladies. I'm going to have to ask you to smell your armpits. Quinn Fabray
, Santana Lopez
: [They look uncertainly at each other and then smell their armpits
] Sue Sylvester
: That's the smell of failure, and it's stinking up my office. I'm revoking your tanning privileges for the rest of the semester.
[Santana runs out in tears
: I don't see anything wrong with getting a little church up in here. Quinn Fabray
: I agree. I've had a really hard year, and I turned to God a lot for help. I, for one, wouldn't mind saying thanks. Santana Lopez
: Thanks for what? That it didn't come out a lizard baby?
: Getting ready for the tranny prom, Rachel?
: I was thinking we'd do one group number and one duet. Finn Hudson
: Yeah, Rachel and I should sing a duet. We killed it last year at Regionals with "Faithfully". Quinn Fabray
: Yeah, killed us. We lost.
: If we go to our cheerleading competition,then we miss the halftime show, and we're out of Glee Club. I'm torn. Santana Lopez
: Oh, I'm not. Brittany Pierce
: I'm Brittany.
: Okay, Rachel, since this is your first time at this, I'm gonna break it down for you. Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk. Exhibit A: Santana, the weepy, hysterical drunk. Santana Lopez
: [Weeping at Sam
] You like her more than me. She's blonde and awesome and so smart. Admit, just admit it! No, kiss me! Finn Hudson
: Lauren Zizes and Quinn, the angry girl drunks. Quinn Fabray
: [Yelling at Puck
] I can't believe what you did to my body! I use to have abs! Lauren Zizes
: Who told you that hairstyle is cool? Geronimo? Finn Hudson
: Brittany, also known as the girl who turns into a stripper drunk. Mercedes and Tina, happy girl drunks and then we come around full circle right back to you, Rachel. And right now, you're being the needy girl drunk. Hanging all over me, being overly lovey, it's not cool.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman
: I'm not breaking up with you, I'm just saying please stop supersizing 'cause I don't dig on fat chicks. Quinn Fabray
: I'm pregnant! Noah 'Puck' Puckerman
: And that's my fault?