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: It's on! Romeo
: What's on? Tippy
: The wedding. Romeo
: First it's on, then it's off, now it's on again. I am a humble servant, not a yo-yo.
: Everybody who's important is gone. Tippy
: No, no look, your sister's still here. Aaron Humphrey
: My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings.
: I love Booger! And I'm gonna marry him, no matter WHAT you say! Tippy
: What did you say to her? Aaron Humphrey
: Nothing, I just made a suggestion. Tippy
: Oh, can't we all just get along? Aaron Humphrey
: She comes up with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine and I'M the one who's wrong!
: You mind if I spoke to Chip alone? Tippy
: Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie. Gaylord!
[Tippy and Jeanie leave the bedroom
] Aaron Humphrey
: This isn't good, Chip. Chip
: No. Aaron Humphrey
: So I'm gonna kill you, Chip. You made a fool out of my daughter! Chip
: Aaron, I can explain everything. Aaron Humphrey
: You lied about the illegitimate child, then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught! Chip
: The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio. Aaron Humphrey
: There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up! Chip
: The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning! Aaron Humphrey
: It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you, or there's no room for you in this family or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep!
: [lying in the bathtub
] Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party. Aaron Humphrey
: Absolutely not, I wasn't even there. Tippy
: Mm-hmm. Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding and make your daughter proud of you, I'm going to leave you. Aaron Humphrey
: You would leave me? Tippy
: I've learned a lot from the nerds: nerds speak their mind. And from now on, I'm going to speak my mind, too. If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here. Tippy
: Fix your ascot. It's not like I'm giving up that much. Aaron Humphrey
: What is that supposed to mean? Tippy
: Aaron, we haven't had sex since the Bush administration. Aaron Humphrey
: Well, it's uh... hard to perform that way when the Democrats are in power. Ask any guy in this neighborhood; that's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately. Tippy
: Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm. Zip your fly. Aaron Humphrey
: [Aaron zips up his pants
] Well, it's not all my fault. How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time fixing my ascot, zippering my fly, and matching my socks? I can't be perfect for you any more, Tippy! It's too much pressure. Tippy
: Aaron, I thought I was helping you. I know how much you want to be accepted by the blue bloods, but you don't ever have to be perfect for me. Aaron Humphrey
: I don't? Tippy
: No, I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with. Aaron Humphrey
: You mean it? Tippy
: Absolutely. Aaron Humphrey
: Tippy. Tippy
: Aaron. Aaron Humphrey
: Oh, Tippy.
[Aaron steps into the bathtub with Tippy
: Aaron! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
: Mylan, I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair. Tippy
: Thanks for coming to the wedding. Mylan Whitfield
: I do not care to judge you all on the basis of the hell I've been through, but I trust it was merely a horrific aberration, and I expect the wedding to be quite different. Aaron Humphrey
[takes out the check for Mylan's campaign fund
] Aaron Humphrey
: Oh, I uh... trust that will be enough. Mylan Whitfield
: [takes the check
] Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world.