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Quotes for
Leo (Character)
from The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (2008)

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The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (2008)
Flynn the Fine: [singing] Dear Goblin friends, dear Goblin friends, please hear my song...
[Flynn gets shot with arrows by the Goblins]
Lodge: [rolls] Yeah. Yeah, you're dead.
Gary: [holds stopwatch] At 29 minutes, 42 seconds. New personal best, Leo.
Leo: There are so many places I could put that stopwatch!

[Leo's employees are writing numerous copies of his character sheet]
Game Store Employee: How many of these do you actually need?
Leo: Let me answer that with another question: shut up!
Game Store Customer: [to employee] Your boss is a dick!

Flynn the Fine: What is that heavenly music?
Priestess: The Hymn to Therin. It calls to our goddess.
Leo: [voice-over] I seduce the priestess!
Lodge: [voice-over] She's taken a vow of celibacy!
Leo: [voice-over] Dude, 20 ranks in seduction!
Flynn the Fine: [to priestess] Hey, baby. Wanna tune my mandolin?
[rolls and the priestess and Flynn leave the room]
Daphne: [to Hierophant] Please understand the horny Bard does not represent us.

Leo: [playing a board game] Take that, Jesus! Who's the Messiah now?

Gary: I'm a wild mage. WILD! But you losers can call me "sorceress". That's right. I'm playing a chick.
Leo: Dude, you hot?
Gary: Seventeen charisma.
Leo: Wanna have sex?
Gary: Totally.
Leo: Great! I seduce him, uh her.
[Leo rolls his die]
Leo: Yes! I can totally seduce any homophobe with that roll!
Lodge: We *haven't* started yet. You guys *haven't* met!

Lodge: [narrating] Flynn is alone with the Grimmoire.
Leo: I stab it! Wait! I BACKSTAB it!
Cass: Good call.
Lodge: Y-y-you can't backstab it! You can't *sneak-attack* an inanimate object!
Leo: Why not? It's PRONE!
Lodge: It doesn't have a discernible anatomy!
Leo: It's got a SPINE! Doesn't it?
[Leo rolls a fumble, causing Flynn to stab himself]
Leo: [in shock] Bards suck.
Lodge: That... was unprecedented, Leo.

Joanna: [after Drazuul moves after Luster's announcement of spell] What happened to the spell?
Gary: No good, Drazuul moves before me, blast me unless I have a barricade or something...
Leo: [Leo looks up with great purpose and realization] Hide behind the pile of dead bards.


The Gamers: Hands of Fate (2013)
Leo: Start out strong. Set yourself up for victory. There's a reason you're carrying three of these.
Cass: Biggest Turnip?
Leo: Quick 2 Renown.
Cass: [incredulous] Biggest Turnip?
Leo: Not every quest gets to be epic.
Cass: Maybe I'm missing something... What exactly is the big heroic deed here? Growing a giant freak vegetable?
Leo: More or less...
Cass: And said mutant tuber has the potential to win you the game?
Leo: I don't think turnips are tubers.
Cass: So... your empire's at war, and regardless of the tactical or economic realities on the ground, you could theoretically win a military conflict by growing a turgid bit of purple stew-bait.
Leo: [smiling] Hey. I have an idea how to end this flashback.
Cass: Oh?
[Leo slaps him]

Leo: The Meach has won four Gen Cons. He is arguably the best player in the game today.
Cass: Great,so how am I supposed to beat him at Gen Con?
Leo: With any luck, the Legacy will knock him out of the tournament.
Cass: Okay... how am I supposed to beat the Legacy?
Leo: With any luck, the Meach will knock them out of the tournament.
Cass: You're not helping!