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Flynn the Fine
] Dear Goblin friends, dear Goblin friends, please hear my song...
[Flynn gets shot with arrows by the Goblins
] Yeah. Yeah, you're dead. Gary
: [holds stopwatch
] At 29 minutes, 42 seconds. New personal best, Leo. Leo
: There are so many places I could put that stopwatch!
[Leo's employees are writing numerous copies of his character sheet
] Game Store Employee
: How many of these do you actually need? Leo
: Let me answer that with another question: shut up! Game Store Customer
: [to employee
] Your boss is a dick!
Flynn the Fine
: What is that heavenly music? Priestess
: The Hymn to Therin. It calls to our goddess. Leo
] I seduce the priestess! Lodge
] She's taken a vow of celibacy! Leo
] Dude, 20 ranks in seduction! Flynn the Fine
: [to priestess
] Hey, baby. Wanna tune my mandolin?
[rolls and the priestess and Flynn leave the room
: [to Hierophant
] Please understand the horny Bard does not represent us.
: [playing a board game
] Take that, Jesus! Who's the Messiah now?
: I'm a wild mage. WILD! But you losers can call me "sorceress". That's right. I'm playing a chick. Leo
: Dude, you hot? Gary
: Seventeen charisma. Leo
: Wanna have sex? Gary
: Totally. Leo
: Great! I seduce him, uh her.
[Leo rolls his die
: Yes! I can totally seduce any homophobe with that roll! Lodge
: We *haven't* started yet. You guys *haven't* met!
] Flynn is alone with the Grimmoire. Leo
: I stab it! Wait! I BACKSTAB it! Cass
: Good call. Lodge
: Y-y-you can't backstab it! You can't *sneak-attack* an inanimate object! Leo
: Why not? It's PRONE! Lodge
: It doesn't have a discernible anatomy! Leo
: It's got a SPINE! Doesn't it?
[Leo rolls a fumble, causing Flynn to stab himself
: [in shock
] Bards suck. Lodge
: That... was unprecedented, Leo.
: [after Drazuul moves after Luster's announcement of spell
] What happened to the spell? Gary
: No good, Drazuul moves before me, blast me unless I have a barricade or something... Leo
: [Leo looks up with great purpose and realization
] Hide behind the pile of dead bards.
: Start out strong. Set yourself up for victory. There's a reason you're carrying three of these. Cass
: Biggest Turnip? Leo
: Quick 2 Renown. Cass
] Biggest Turnip? Leo
: Not every quest gets to be epic. Cass
: Maybe I'm missing something... What exactly is the big heroic deed here? Growing a giant freak vegetable? Leo
: More or less... Cass
: And said mutant tuber has the potential to win you the game? Leo
: I don't think turnips are tubers. Cass
: So... your empire's at war, and regardless of the tactical or economic realities on the ground, you could theoretically win a military conflict by growing a turgid bit of purple stew-bait. Leo
] Hey. I have an idea how to end this flashback. Cass
[Leo slaps him
: The Meach has won four Gen Cons. He is arguably the best player in the game today. Cass
: Great,so how am I supposed to beat him at Gen Con? Leo
: With any luck, the Legacy will knock him out of the tournament. Cass
: Okay... how am I supposed to beat the Legacy? Leo
: With any luck, the Meach will knock them out of the tournament. Cass
: You're not helping!