Penelope Shafai
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Quotes for
Penelope Shafai (Character)
from "Gossip Girl" (2007)

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"Gossip Girl: Gone with the Will (#2.15)" (2009)
Nelly Yuki: We should at least tell Blair.
Isabel Coates: We can't. Blair's with Chuck... again.
Penelope: I'm really getting sick of how much time she's spending with him.
Isabel Coates: Give them a break. His dad just died.
Penelope: Yeah, like a month ago. Who cares? Someone should tell him to get over it.

Penelope: [to Nelly] You stole Dan Humphrey's phone? Not bad, Nelly, at this rate you'll be off probation before your second marriage.

"Gossip Girl: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate (#1.13)" (2008)
Penelope: Hey Jenny.
Jenny Humphrey: Hi.
Hazel: Are you joining us?
Jenny Humphrey: Um...
[Blair walks up]
Blair Waldorf: What are you doing here?
Jenny Humphrey: I was just leaving.
Penelope: No stay. Blair given you can barely manage your own messy affairs surely your not in a position to tell anyone where they can and can't eat.
Blair Waldorf: Do you realize who you're talking to?
Hazel: You mean a self righteous b who always sat on her own high horse judging everyone else.
Penelope: Pregnant little hypocrite.
Blair Waldorf: Not that it's any of your business but I'm not pregnant.
Hazel: Nate must be thrilled.
Penelope: Chuck too.
Blair Waldorf: What are you talking about?
Hazel: The whole school saw them throwing down over your G-bass.
Penelope: The boyfriend and the best friend.
Hazel: Pretty classy.
Penelope: Consider yourself dethroned queen bee.
[Penelope and Hazel walk away]
Blair Waldorf: Jenny, is highly unlikely that I will ever forgive you for going to Nate but if you walk away from me now, I will also ruin you.
Jenny Humphrey: How are you gonna do that?
[Jenny walks off]

Blair Waldorf: You're late.
[Jenny just came to meet Blair on the steps on the Met]
Jenny Humphrey: Yeah I know I had to drop off some books at the library, sorry.
Blair Waldorf: Could you do me a favor?
Jenny Humphrey: Anything.
Blair Waldorf: Move down a couple steps.
Jenny Humphrey: Ya know this whole hazing thing's getting a bit old don't you think be?
Blair Waldorf: First of all the hazing stops when I say it stops and for future reference only my friends call me B.
Jenny Humphrey: You know I'm actually gonna go. I have a lot of stuff to do before class.
Penelope: Jenny...
Blair Waldorf: Please she'll be back.

"Gossip Girl: You've Got Yale! (#2.16)" (2009)
Isabel Coates: Ugh, I hate having to play the angel.
Penelope: I know. The devil is so much better.

Penelope: A new teacher is like a child. It has to be taught.
Hazel: And spanked.

"Gossip Girl: In the Realm of the Basses (#2.14)" (2009)
Penelope: We're more than any one member. And the only way Nelly is leaving is in a body bag.
Hazel: God, P. Tone down the crazy.

"Gossip Girl: It's a Wonderful Lie (#2.12)" (2008)
Penelope: Oh. Hello, weird documentary girl.
Vanessa Abrams: Oh. Hello, sad Blair wannabe.

"Gossip Girl: Chuck in Real Life (#2.7)" (2008)
Penelope: Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey how many times must we tell you? As one of the girls of the steps, you represent Constance royalty.
Isabel Coates: So it should come as no surprise that many girls before you have gotten the ax when their choices reflected poorly on us.
Kelsey: I didn't realize.
Blair Waldorf: That tights are not pants? Honestly?

"Gossip Girl: The Ex-Files (#2.4)" (2008)
Penelope: Oh, Little J, just because we've been ignoring you doesn't mean we've forgotten. You can't hide out at Eleanor Waldorf's anymore. Your day will come. We're just... picking our moment.

"Gossip Girl: Desperately Seeking Serena (#1.15)" (2008)
Nelly Yuki: Look, I'm not stupid. I know you're not really interested in how my family owns half of Tribeca.
Hazel: Of course we're interested. You're the newest member of our little club.
Penelope: Which is only for the smartest girls of the junior class.
Nelly Yuki: Our junior class only has thirty girls. We're already an elite club.
[Nelly Yuki gets impatient and grabs her violin case]
Nelly Yuki: Can I go now?
Hazel: You know what would be hot? You, us at G-spa.
Nelly Yuki: I don't drink.
Penelope: Saks fifth?
Nelly Yuki: Hate shopping.
Hazel: Yogurt on the steps?
Nelly Yuki: Lactose intolerant. Look, I really don't want any friends. All I want is to be alone and to never listen to Flo Rida ever again.
Penelope: What happened? A little back stage hit it and quit it?
Nelly Yuki: What? No, my boyfriend broke up with me at a Flo Rida concert. One minute we were waving our hands in the air like we just didn't care and the next...
[upset and walks off]