Alexis Castle
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Quotes for
Alexis Castle (Character)
from "Castle" (2009)

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"Castle: Like Father, Like Daughter (#6.7)" (2013)
Alexis Castle: [Ryan has provided a lead] Bike tracks. There were bike tracks outside Kim's house. Dad, do you realize what this means?
Richard Castle: That maybe the party Kim went to was at that farmhouse, and she saw kids doing meth.
Alexis Castle: Well, not just doing meth. Cooking meth.
Richard Castle: That's why she had to get out of there. That's why she told Lyle she had some decisions to make.
Alexis Castle: She was thinking about turning them in. So maybe when she left the party...
Richard Castle: One of our teenage meth cookers got worried she'd go to the cops.
Alexis Castle: And he went after her.
Richard Castle: On his bike. The tire tracks at her house? He knew where she lived 'cause he'd been there before.
Alexis Castle: He was one of the other guys Kim was seeing.
Richard Castle, Alexis Castle: We need to talk to Kim's mother.
Richard Castle: Now, that was weird. Usually I do that with Beckett.

Alexis Castle: [Castle is trying to earn Alexis' forgiveness] I just thought you were here for the case.
Richard Castle: I am.
Alexis Castle: Then how come you haven't asked a single question about it since we left?
Richard Castle: Okay. Um... So, what do I need to know?
Alexis Castle: Frank Henson. The accused. We're meeting him at the prison. He's Pennsylvania blue collar. Struggled through high school, but he's smart. He earned his automotive mechanic degree in '95. He's a little rough around the edges, but he's got a good heart.
Richard Castle: Okay.
Alexis Castle: Oh, and then there's Maggie.
Richard Castle: Who's Maggie?
Alexis Castle: Maggie Ingram. The love of his life. She'll be at the prison, too.
Richard Castle: The love of his life? Is it one of those prison pen pal romance things?
Alexis Castle: Dad, no. She's his high school sweetheart. He proposed to her two weeks before his arrest.
Richard Castle: And she stayed with him?
Alexis Castle: She's been by his side the whole time. Every hearing, every appeal. She's the one who wrote to the innocence review every week for three years to get us involved.

Richard Castle: You know, Alexis, um... this is a long shot. You know that, right? I mean, it may not work out the way you hope. I... I just don't want to... I just don't want to see you hurt.
Alexis Castle: Dad, I know these people. I care about them. It already hurts.

Frank Henson: It's over, Alexis.
Alexis Castle: Don't say that.
Frank Henson: All these years, Maggie has been leading this charge. She's been my rock. And now I've got to be hers. I've got less than two days to help her make peace with what's about to come. The last thing that she needs is more false hope.
Alexis Castle: This isn't false hope.
Frank Henson: It is false hope.
Alexis Castle: This could be what turns everything around!
Frank Henson: It's done. It's done, Alexis. Guard!
[as the prison guard comes and handcuffs him, Alexis starts to cry]
Frank Henson: Listen, I appreciate everything you've done. Everything you've tried to do. It's time to let it go.

Javier Esposito: Alexis, we went through the case files like you asked. I got to say, there's nothing in there that says this guy's innocent.
Alexis Castle: What about all the swabs from Kim Tolbert's body that we submitted to the New York Trace Lab for retesting? I mean, they've had them for weeks.
Kevin Ryan: Well, we've been calling every day to move things along, but it's not in our jurisdiction.
Alexis Castle: You don't understand. A man's going to die in three days unless we do something.
Kevin Ryan: No, we do understand. There's just not much that we can do.
Javier Esposito: What about your dad? Have you talked to him about this case?
Kevin Ryan: Yeah. Maybe he'll spot something that no one else did.

Alexis Castle: I've been working on this innocence review case with my criminal law professor. This guy is on death row for killing his neighbor, a high school girl, but he didn't do it and they're about to execute him for it.
Richard Castle: How do you know he didn't do it?
Alexis Castle: Well, for one thing, he had rotator cuff surgery four months before. He couldn't have swung the fireplace poker used to kill the victim.
Richard Castle: Well, under the rush of adrenaline, you'd be surprised of what people are capable of.
Alexis Castle: You sound just like the prosecutor. But there's more. They found fresh tire tracks in the dirt outside the victim's back door. Bicycle treads.
Richard Castle: And Frank didn't own a bike.
Alexis Castle: No, he was twenty-four then. He worked on cars... wait. How do you know his name?
Richard Castle: You just said it.
Alexis Castle: No, I didn't. You know about the case. How?
Richard Castle: [feigning ignorance] Yeah... how? I must have seen the file on Esposito's desk.
Alexis Castle: You've been checking up on me.
Richard Castle: No! No, no. A little, yes.
Alexis Castle: You're unbelievable.
Richard Castle: I couldn't help it! You're my daughter. I'm interested in your life, but you won't return my calls.
Alexis Castle: Okay, so, did you find anything in the file? Anything that can help?
Richard Castle: Alexis, he did have priors. What makes you think he's innocent?
Alexis Castle: Because I know him, dad. I've spent time with him. He's not a killer. I know what the evidence says, but he didn't do this. I need you to come to Pennsylvania with me. I need you to help me prove it.

Richard Castle: It has been a long time since we have taken a road trip together. Remember the time we went to Amish country? Ended up getting chased by that cow?
Alexis Castle: Dad, this isn't a road trip. And this isn't about fun. It's about having less than seventy hours to save a man from execution. Let's go.
Richard Castle: [uncomfortably] Right. Fasten your seat belt. Gonna be a bumpy ride.

Officer Ted Lane: Wow, you innocence review folks just won't give up, will you?
Richard Castle: Can I help you, Officer... Lane?
Officer Ted Lane: Kim's murder tore this town apart. I guess, uh, we're just wondering what you all are fighting for.
Alexis Castle: Justice.
Officer Ted Lane: Justice? He had her blood on his hands when they caught him, he was holding the shop rag that he used to wipe down the crime scene. You want justice, let him meet his maker.
Richard Castle: [Lane leaves] Has it been like that the whole time?
Alexis Castle: Pretty much.

Alexis Castle: You should call them again.
Richard Castle: I just called them twenty minutes ago.
Alexis Castle: I don't understand. Why is it taking so long? Ryan found the bank where Kim had her account hours ago.
Richard Castle: The account was closed in '98. The bank has moved three times since then. They may not have even kept the file.
Alexis Castle: And what if they didn't? We're running out of time. We need to go to the judge.
Richard Castle: With what? Frank'll never admit to covering for John. That would put John at the crime scene.
Alexis Castle: So what do we do? Dad, tell me what to do.
Richard Castle: Hey, I don't know. But whatever happens, we're gonna deal with it, all right? Together.
Alexis Castle: [scared, she hugs him for comfort] I'm sorry I was mad at you.
Richard Castle: Oh, no. I deserved it. I'm sorry.

[last lines]
Richard Castle: What you did here was amazing.
Alexis Castle: Thank you. For everything.
Richard Castle: Any time.
Alexis Castle: You ready?
Richard Castle: Don't you want to stay and celebrate?
Alexis Castle: No. This is enough. Besides, there's someone else I need to thank.


"Castle: XY (#8.1)" (2015)
Richard Castle: Alexis, I don't want to say "You have some explaining to do", but I think you have some explaining to do.
Alexis Castle: Wait, did I forget to tell you I've been working P.I. cases for you?
Richard Castle: Must have slipped your mind.
Alexis Castle: Hey, didn't the guys do a fantastic job remodeling the place?
Richard Castle: [excited] I know, right?
[seriously]
Richard Castle: But you're changing the subject.

Richard Castle: Why are you working my cases?
Alexis Castle: Truth is it's all your fault.
Richard Castle: You set up shop in my office behind my back and it's my fault?
Alexis Castle: Exactly. A month ago, when you sent me here to open the place for your foreman, a potential client came by. I was intrigued, so I sort of said I was your associate, and then I kind of solved the case. Since then, I've closed three others.
Richard Castle: Alexis, you can't just... you closed four cases?
[crestfallen]
Richard Castle: That's more than I have.
Alexis Castle: I know. Step your game up.

Alexis Castle: Dad, did you notice any candy wrappers or fruit juice, anything with sugar, at the dry cleaner's?
Richard Castle: Uh, an empty soda can. Why?
Alexis Castle: I think Beckett's mystery man might have been having a diabetic incident. But based on his symptoms, sugar is not enough. You need insulin to regulate...
Richard Castle: Honey, I need to go. Let's talk about this later, though, okay?
[as Castle leaves, Hayley hangs back]
Hayley Shipton: Red, don't wait for the old man. If you've got something, follow up on it. Look, Beckett's on the run. She can't go to a doctor, she can't go to a hospital, so how does she get her hands on insulin?
Alexis Castle: She would have to get creative.
Hayley Shipton: There you go.

Alexis Castle: Dad's missing! We have to find him!
Javier Esposito: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. What are you... what are you talking about?
Alexis Castle: I've been tracking his cell phone on the sly. That way, if he ever disappeared again, I'd know. And an hour ago, his phone suddenly went dead.
Kevin Ryan: Okay, maybe the battery just died.
Alexis Castle: No. Not with where he went.
Kevin Ryan: And where's that?
Alexis Castle: Winterkill Correctional. I tracked Beckett there earlier.
Javier Esposito: Winterkill. That's where Bracken is.
Alexis Castle: He's connected to this somehow. That's why dad went to see him.

Richard Castle: Why doesn't Beckett trust me?
Alexis Castle: She does.
Richard Castle: Then why is she keeping me in the dark? I don't need protecting.
Alexis Castle: Yes, you do. You're a writer, dad. And you and Beckett are magic together. But you don't have her training or her skill set. When you disappeared last year, I thought you were dead for two months. And then you went missing today, and I was so scared.
Richard Castle: Honey...
Alexis Castle: Beckett has a reason for keeping quiet. If you love her, you have to trust her.

Javier Esposito: We got a positive ID on the guy running with Beckett.
Richard Castle: Great. Who is he?
Kevin Ryan: His name is Vikram Singh. He's a low-level analyst for the Attorney General's investigative office.
Alexis Castle: In D.C.? That's where Beckett worked.
Richard Castle: Yeah, but that was two years ago, and she never mentioned anyone named Vikram.
Javier Esposito: Yeah, as far as we can tell, their paths never crossed. He's only been on the job a few months.
Richard Castle: Then how would Beckett know him? We need to call Rachel McCord. She was Beckett's partner.
Kevin Ryan: McCord's dead, Castle. Killed yesterday in an automobile accident, along with three other members of her team.
Richard Castle: That can't be a coincidence.
Javier Esposito: It's not. The last member of her team was stabbed to death at a club that same night. Witnesses saw him flirting with a hot brunette.
Richard Castle: This doesn't make any sense. What does any of this have to do with Bracken?

Alexis Castle: [the unnamed assassin is killed staging a jail break] Why did she do it? There's no way she thought she could escape.
Richard Castle: It wasn't about escape. She knew her fate was sealed as soon as she got caught. That's why she went out on her own terms.

Richard Castle: My wife is out there fighting for her life. Why are you wasting my time?
Alexis Castle: Wait, what? Why didn't you tell me?
Hayley Shipton: Sorry. I figured it wasn't my place. Now, look, Rick, you asked for my help. Want it or not?
Richard Castle: What's the catch? 'Cause I'm thinking with you, there's always a catch.
Hayley Shipton: There's only one. No cops.
Richard Castle: Why not?
Hayley Shipton: Differing agendas. The cops serve and protect the city, I serve and protect me.

Hayley Shipton: I don't know anything. The last time I saw Castle was outside the prison.
Javier Esposito: You'd think an ex-cop would understand obstruction of justice.
Kevin Ryan: Yeah, especially since arresting her for it will torpedo her investigator's license.
Hayley Shipton: You're not scaring me, guys.
Javier Esposito: You think we're playing? Castle's one of us, which means you'd better come clean right now, or every cop in this city is gonna make it their mission to jam you up,
Hayley Shipton: I understand the passion, but I have a reputation to uphold. My clients think that I roll over every time a cop says "Boo", I'm looking for a new line of work.
Alexis Castle: [entering in a fit of anger] Damn it, my dad's in trouble. If you know anything about where he is, you have to tell us!
Hayley Shipton: Alexis... it's not that simple.
Alexis Castle: Yes, it is.


"Castle: What Lies Beneath (#8.4)" (2015)
Richard Castle: P.J. Moffet was one of my literary heroes.
Alexis Castle: Mine, too. Remember I wrote that paper about him in eighth grade?
Richard Castle: Every author dreams of writing the great American novel, but P.J. Moffet actually did it. On his first try, too, "The Butcherbird's Song".
Alexis Castle: And in twenty-five years, he never wrote another word. Just one book, then he disappeared from public life. According to Twitter, he was murdered at St. Mark's on 3rd.
Richard Castle: That's wonderful.
Alexis Castle: Dad, a little respect for the dead.
Richard Castle: Not wonderful that he was murdered. Wonderful *where* he was murdered. St. Mark's, that's in the jurisdiction of the 12th precinct, and I am an expert on all things P.J. Moffet.
Alexis Castle: So you're still going with the "win Beckett back by working homicides with her" plan?
Richard Castle: That's how I got her to fall for me the first time. That and when I kiss her, I use the bottom...
Alexis Castle: Dad, when it comes to your sex life, how about we stick with the "after school special" version?
Richard Castle: That's fair.

Richard Castle: [ending a call with Ryan] That was weird.
Alexis Castle: What?
Richard Castle: Ryan just told me he loved me. I'm sure he was just covering.
Alexis Castle: Don't you feel the least bit conflicted about turning him into a mole?
Richard Castle: He's not stealing state secrets. I'm just paying him to keep me in the loop on their cases.
Alexis Castle: So you can ingratiate yourself in said cases and find new ways to interact with Beckett.
Richard Castle: Well, if by "ingratiate myself", you mean "dazzle her with my Sherlockian genius", then yes, that's exactly what I mean.

Alexis Castle: A mission from God?
Richard Castle: Well, that's what Ryan said. On the other hand, Dave was a compulsive liar.
Alexis Castle: Mm. Still, most lies have a kernel of truth in them.
Richard Castle: Oh, like when you went to Fashion Week but you neglected to mention that you were taking my platinum credit card?
Alexis Castle: I was more thinking about our victim and how he lied about being a fugitive mobster in order to investigate union kickbacks.

Richard Castle: Excuse me, Father. We are investigating Dave Johnson's murder. We'd like to ask you a few questions regarding your relationship with him.
Father Arguello: I was his priest, my son. I gave him spiritual guidance.
Richard Castle: And which part of that guidance included breaking and entering at City Hall?
[Father Arguello nonchalantly turns around and hurries away]
Alexis Castle: The blind priest just ran away.
Richard Castle: [Father Arguello takes off running] This cannot end well.

Richard Castle: [ending a call with Beckett] They got the priest.
Alexis Castle: How do you know?
Richard Castle: Beckett was having too much fun.
[a thought strikes him]
Richard Castle: Wait. Beckett was having fun... with me. Score.

Kate Beckett: Castle, do you have the intel we need or not?
Richard Castle: [laughs] Tell her.
Alexis Castle: When I was in middle school, dad did four months of exstensive research into the inner workings of city finance for a novel he was writing.
Richard Castle: Yes, but then I realized that that novel would be the most boring novel in the history of novels, so I wrote a Derrick Storm book instead.

Richard Castle: The only people with access to the entire budget are the comptroller, the mayor's chief of staff, and the deputy chief.
Kevin Ryan: Stephen Reed. The guy we met with.
Richard Castle: I know for a fact that the chief of staff is in London with the mayor.
Javier Esposito: And I made a few discreet calls. The city comptroller was at a fundraiser when Dave was shot.
Kate Beckett: Which means Reed is our main suspect.
Kevin Ryan: Okay, so how do we get this guy?
Richard Castle: May I suggest the "Midnight Run" stratagem?
Alexis Castle: The what?
Richard Castle: "Midnight Run". It's one of the top five buddy movies of all time.
Kevin Ryan: And you're suggesting we base our legal strategy upon this buddy cop movie?
Kate Beckett: No, he's right. It could work. At the end of the movie, Robert De Niro tricks a mobster into taking computer discs he thinks contain evidence against him, and just by showing up to take them, the mobster is committing conspiracy to obstruct justice.
Richard Castle: If we can trick Reed the same way, then we've got all the leverage we need to expose the slush fund and go after him for Dave's murder. But Kate, you can't be involved.
Kate Beckett: Why not?
Kevin Ryan: Because if Reed isn't involved, then all this blows up in our face and you take the hit.


"Castle: The Blame Game (#8.12)" (2016)
Richard Castle: Guess who's about to have the best day ever?
Martha Rodgers: Could it be the fellow who just interrupted us, rather rudely, with "booyah"?
Alexis Castle: What's going on, dad?
Richard Castle: I'm sorry. I can't tell you. I'm sworn to secrecy.
Alexis Castle: Okay.
[to Martha]
Alexis Castle: Anyway. So my psych professor said fear is an emotion, which it is, but then I argue...
Richard Castle: You're not even gonna try and pry the secret out of me?
Martha Rodgers: Darling, we are right in the middle of something here, so if you just wait for a moment, we will give you our full attention, okay? Okay. What is it, darling?
Alexis Castle: Gram, you know he's just gonna keep pouting until he gets his way. Dad, just tell us your secret.
Richard Castle: Okay. But only because you insisted.

Richard Castle: I just got off the phone with the personal assistant of none other than... Stephen King.
Martha Rodgers: Whoa!
Richard Castle: He's in town visiting his New York apartment, has called to see if I'm available for a meeting to talk about a - dramatic pause - collaboration.
Martha Rodgers: Ooh!
Alexis Castle: Hold on. Isn't he still mad about... the thing?
Martha Rodgers: What thing?
Alexis Castle: The baseball thing. See, Stephen King is a huge Red Sox fan and...
Martha Rodgers: Oh, and your father is a Yankees fan. Oh, no. Richard, what did you do?
Richard Castle: It was a silly joke.
Alexis Castle: Mmm. More like a thinly veiled threat.
Richard Castle: Tomato, to-mah-to. Obviously, it's water under the bridge, because he wants to talk about collaborating on a project.
[excited]
Richard Castle: "Richard Castle and Stephen King present..." Wish me luck, ladies.
Martha Rodgers: Darling, if you think you're going to get top billing over Stephen King, you're gonna need more than luck.

Hayley Shipton: Alexis, where is your father?
Alexis Castle: He's not with you?
Hayley Shipton: If he were, would I be asking you where he is?
Alexis Castle: Meow.

Hayley Shipton: I don't mean to get so bitchy. It's just that your father blew off that meeting I set up with potential clients.
Alexis Castle: He had an impromptu get-together this morning with Stephen King. Maybe he's still there.
Hayley Shipton: Do you have King's number?
Alexis Castle: No. But his assistant called my dad's cell, which is linked the office computer. Okay, here's his call log. Got it.
[she dials the number, but gets the "disconnected" dial tone]
Alexis Castle: It's disconnected. I must have misdialed.
[she tries again, but gets the same result]
Alexis Castle: Something's wrong.
Hayley Shipton: [checking her phone] Yeah, there's a new tweet from Stephen King. "Watch me live on 'Australia's 7PM Project' in twenty minutes."
Alexis Castle: If Stephen King is in Australia... where's my dad?

Alexis Castle: Dad's missing, and we can't reach Beckett's cell.
Javier Esposito: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on.
[he puts the call on speakerphone]
Javier Esposito: Beckett's at a forensics conference, Alexis.
Alexis Castle: No, she never showed.
Hayley Shipton: Rick was lured into an empty building this morning. I hacked a nearby street camera and got footage of a white van fleeing the scene.
Javier Esposito: [quietly to Ryan] Neighbors saw a white van in front of Emma's building.
Alexis Castle: Who's Emma?
Kevin Ryan: A murder victim. We think her killer might have been driving a rusty white van.

Javier Esposito: You guys okay?
Kate Beckett: Yeah. Thanks for rescuing us.
Hayley Shipton: [sarcastic] Yes, because clearly you're helpless without us.
Richard Castle: How'd you guys even find us?
Kevin Ryan: Well, we had our best person on it.
[Alexis runs into the room]
Alexis Castle: I can't leave you alone for five minutes.
Richard Castle: Does this mean no hug?

Hayley Shipton: You worry a lot about your father.
Alexis Castle: You would, too, if Richard Castle was your dad. I mean, the guy's abducted like, what, twice a year? I think that's a tad above the national average.
Hayley Shipton: Yet he always comes home. Do you know why that is?
Alexis Castle: Yeah. He's really lucky.
Hayley Shipton: No. He's really good at what he does.


"Castle: Hell to Pay (#8.21)" (2016)
Richard Castle: [referring to the hidden safe in his office] If I opened it, I was bound to be disappointed with whatever it was inside. If I never opened it, literally anything I imagined could be in there.
Hayley Shipton: So you chose fantasy over reality.
Richard Castle: Well, duh.
Alexis Castle: But we're going to open in now, right?
Richard Castle: Well, duh.

Richard Castle: That sneaky little devil. It was Victor Crowne that did this.
Alexis Castle: How do you figure?
Richard Castle: Well, clearly he's trying to take possession of any weapon that could be used against him, And erase any and all evidence of his true identity as the spawn of satan!

[first lines]
Alexis Castle: [seeing the pouring rain] Mm. No sign of it letting up.
Hayley Shipton: Just gonna have to be late. Frankly, I'm in no rush to leave this party, thanks to your father's excellent taste in Scotch and daughters.
Alexis Castle: Oh, the man knows his stuff.

Alexis Castle: So, I pulled the police file and court records for Shaw's prosecution twenty years ago, and according to this, Shaw's attack on the Crowne family was anything but random. He was working as a consultant for a P.I. named Noah Kramer.
Hayley Shipton: What kind of consultant?
Alexis Castle: Spiritual. Kramer had been hired to investigate the Crowne family.
Hayley Shipton: Wait, wait. Why would a P.I. hire a spiritual consultant to help investigate a billionaire philanthropist?
[looking at the report, Alexis laughs to herself]
Hayley Shipton: What? What is it?
Alexis Castle: I know why Shaw came to this office. Twenty years ago, this was Noah Kramer's office.

Alexis Castle: Dad, Hayley and I did some digging, and twenty years ago, Gabriel Shaw worked as a consultant for a P.I. named Noah Kramer, who worked out of your office.
Richard Castle: It's possible that Shaw came there with the ax looking for Kramer.
Hayley Shipton: Well, it's a nice theory, but Kramer's long dead. He was killed in an accident a year and half after Shaw was committed to Peakmore.
Richard Castle: What kind of an accident?
Alexis Castle: He was impaled by a pipe that fell at a construction site.
Richard Castle: Okay. That's horrible. But still, it's possible that Shaw was delusional enough to believe that Kramer was still alive.
Hayley Shipton: Maybe. You know, Kramer's wife and kid still live in the city. Perhaps they can shed some light on Shaw's motives.
Richard Castle: Give me an address for them.
[turning to Ryan]
Richard Castle: Write this down.
[he notices Ryan walking away]
Richard Castle: [to Alexis] Hang on, let me get a pen.

Richard Castle: Guys, tell me you're seeing this. A targeted orphan standing to inherit an empire in the center of a religious Armageddon plot? Hello! It's "The Omen"! Shaw believed that Victor Crowne was the Antichrist.
Alexis Castle: The A... as in...?
Richard Castle: [Alexis gestures devil's horns] As in the personification of the devil! Yes, dear. Yes. It... That's why Shaw went after the Crownes. He was going after their son.
Hayley Shipton: Except that was a film.
[seeing Alexis on her phone]
Hayley Shipton: Please don't tell me you're Googling the Antichrist right now.

[last lines]
Alexis Castle: We really could've done movie night at my place.
Hayley Shipton: No, no. We need to get rid of some of the bad vibes in here.
Alexis Castle: So what are we watching? Rom-com? Action comedy?
Hayley Shipton: Horror.
Alexis Castle: You're kidding.
Hayley Shipton: No. Oh, come on. We just survived the ax man. A little Freddy-Jason action will be cathartic.
Alexis Castle: All right, but if I can't sleep tonight, I'm kicking your ass in the morning.
Hayley Shipton: In your dreams.
Alexis Castle: [the door to the safe creaks open] Hayley?
Hayley Shipton: Hmm?
[she turns to see the door open, then looks back at Alexis]
Hayley Shipton: Run.
Alexis Castle: Yep.
Richard Castle: [as they run out of the room, Beckett and Castle poke their heads out of the safe, a big grin on Beckett's face] That was genius. Now can we play naked Twister?


"Castle: Nanny McDead (#1.2)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: How come we never had a nanny?
Richard Castle: Well, your mother and I decided if someone was going to screw you up, we wanted it to be me. Only you managed to turn out fine somehow anyway.

Alexis Castle: [to Martha] You were the crazy homeless woman.
Richard Castle: And some might say still are.

Alexis Castle: You know, it's okay to be surprised sometimes. That's the fun.
Richard Castle: You surprise me. All the time.

Alexis Castle: [approaching Castle and Martha in Castle's office] What are you guys watching?
Richard Castle: I'm watching. She's butting in.

Richard Castle: Let me guess. Gran cooked.
Alexis Castle: Chicken marsalla.
Richard Castle: Where is Hurricane Martha?
Alexis Castle: In her room, taking a dramatic pause.
Richard Castle: Leaving the mess for everyone else to clean up, as usual.

Alexis Castle: If you're hungry, there are lots of leftovers.
Richard Castle: Oh, thank you. I grabbed a slice on the way home.
Alexis Castle: You really are turning into a cop.
Richard Castle: [excited] Yeah? Do you think?


"Castle: G.D.S. (#8.14)" (2016)
Alexis Castle: So, there will be time to hit the beach while we're in L.A., right?
Richard Castle: No, we're here to learn about my missing time, not work on your tan.
Alexis Castle: Oh, give me a little credit, dad. I'm not that shallow. We were hoping to scope out some quality man candy.
Hayley Shipton: Hmm. Surfers are hot.
Alexis Castle: Mm.
[she and Hayley fist bump]
Richard Castle: You are a bad influence.
Hayley Shipton: [taking it as a compliment] Thank you!

Alexis Castle: [entering their hotel room] Hmm, not too shabby.
Richard Castle: Glad you like it, 'cause this is going to be home base. And you are going to be running it while Hayley and I hit the streets.
Alexis Castle: Wait. That's not fair.
Richard Castle: Too bad. We don't know what we're gonna find here. I was shot while I was missing, remember? That could have happened in L.A.
Hayley Shipton: Your father's right. Until we get more information, we have to proceed with caution.
Richard Castle: Look on the bright side. There are worse places to be trapped than a five-star hotel with room service.

Richard Castle: [reading a note left for him at his hotel] "Mr. Castle, your services are required. A body has been found at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. The LAPD needs your help." And it's signed "The D.G.S."
Alexis Castle: Who's G.D.S.?
Richard Castle: The Greatest Detective Society.
Alexis Castle: What's that?
Richard Castle: It's the greatest detective society. It... it's a legendary organization. Rumor has it Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a secret member.
Hayley Shipton: And... it's a myth. It's... it's a fairy tale old P.I.s tell rookies to get them to do the scut work.
Richard Castle: Said the detective that didn't get an invitation.

Richard Castle: Phillip Harris was right. There is a phantom serial killer murdering people on both coasts.
Hayley Shipton: That's clever. Splitting up his hunting ground kept everyone from knowing his existence. Did the boys get any leads?
Richard Castle: Just one. His sister said that Phillip Harris was working undercover at Zenith Studios.
Alexis Castle: [explaining to Hayley] Oh, they're the ones who ruined the Nikki Heat movie franchise.
Richard Castle: Not ruined. Destroyed. Terminated. Extirpated, vaporized, eviscerated.
Hayley Shipton: Do you plan on running through the whole thesaurus?
Richard Castle: No. I think that'll about do it.

Alexis Castle: Are you going to kill me?
Hayley Shipton: What? Why would you say that?
Alexis Castle: Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're connected to my dad's missing time and now you're hiding in the back of my rental car.

Alexis Castle: Dad? What did Hayley tell you?
Richard Castle: The truth.
Alexis Castle: Why did Hayley lie to us?
Richard Castle: Because I asked her to.
[seeing her expression]
Richard Castle: It's... complicated.
Alexis Castle: Can you trust her?
Richard Castle: Yes. Absolutely. And you can, too.
Alexis Castle: But you can't trust me with the truth?
Richard Castle: Whoa, hang on. Alexis, that's not about trust. I am your father. And from the day you came into this world, it's been my job to protect you.
Alexis Castle: So what's our next move?
Richard Castle: There is no next move. We let sleeping dogs lie. It's safer that way, for everyone.


"Castle: Backstabber (#8.18)" (2016)
Martha Rodgers: Okay, ladies, I have decided that I should change my autograph. So... what do you think?
Alexis Castle: Gram, that looks exactly like your usual autograph.
Martha Rodgers: No, no, no, no, no. My usual autograph, when I am merely an actress, is like this, sort of carefree and... and whimsical...
[she shows them the two autographs; they look exactly the same]
Martha Rodgers: ...whereas the other conveys insight, wisdom. They're completely different. Can't you see that?
Hayley Shipton: [sharing a look with Alexis, they decide to play along] Insight.
Alexis Castle: Wisdom. Sure, absolutely. Good job.
Hayley Shipton: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a business to run, especially since you know who is completely useless.
Richard Castle: [entering] I heard that. And if I'm so useless, why would Beckett ask me to consult on a murder? Oh, mother. New autograph.
Martha Rodgers: Yeah.
Richard Castle: Nice. Conveys wisdom, insight. I like it.

Hayley Shipton: Damn it, Alexis, what are you doing here?
Alexis Castle: Well, I needed some case files for work. But if this is how you get when people come over unannounced, I am happy to give you back your spare key.

Alexis Castle: I see what's going on. You've got your go bag, your guns. Is this why you wanted to go by that crime scene? Hayley, if you're in trouble, talk to me.
Hayley Shipton: I can't. It's not safe.
[she moves to leave, but Alexis stops her]
Hayley Shipton: Okay, look, I did a favor for a friend last night. At least I thought he was a friend. It was meant to be a quick P.I. job, but technically I broke a few laws.
Alexis Castle: [Hayley moves to leave again] Okay, well, tell Beckett. Tell my dad. They can help.
Hayley Shipton: No, they can't. The friend I was working with, we were in MI6 together. He just phoned. It turns out that the job wasn't legit. Something bigger is going on. Something bad enough that he told me to go Code 44.
Alexis Castle: Uh, what does Code 44 mean?
Hayley Shipton: It means abandon everything and everyone. It means run for your life and don't look back.
Alexis Castle: You can't do that.
Hayley Shipton: I have no choice.
Alexis Castle: Yes, you do. After years of floating from one place to the next, you've finally found a real home here.
Hayley Shipton: And I might be putting you and it in danger by staying. I have to go, now.
Alexis Castle: No, you have to stay and fight. Figure out what's really going on and fix it. Please at least try.

Hayley Shipton: I wish I remembered something about her. A tattoo, a scar. You want a laugh? The only thing I recall about this woman is poor Ned fumbling around with her fancy corset.
Richard Castle: [getting an idea and getting on his laptop] Tell me more. Was it cotton or lace?
Alexis Castle: Ew.
Hayley Shipton: Perv much?
Richard Castle: I'm serious.
Hayley Shipton: Okay, it was lace with black leather. Why?
Richard Castle: Narrows it down. Padded?
Hayley Shipton: No.
Richard Castle: Back or front clasps?
Hayley Shipton: Back clasps and buckles, and it had a metal ring in front with snaps.
Richard Castle: Were there crystal studs across the décolletage?
Hayley Shipton: Actually, yes.
Richard Castle: La Seductrice. Give me a moment to pull up the 2016 Mon Cheri collection.
Hayley Shipton: That's it. That's the one.
Richard Castle: And voilà. My work here is done.
Alexis Castle: Hey, dad, should I even ask?
Richard Castle: Nikki Heat research.

Alexis Castle: Dad, Hayley's gone.
Richard Castle: Gone where?
Alexis Castle: I don't know, but she ditched her cell phone. I can't track her.
Richard Castle: Hang on. I'm putting you on speaker. What was the last thing Hayley did before she disappeared?
Alexis Castle: She discovered the computer worm was one she helped design years ago.
Richard Castle: So Edgar used Hayley's own code to help frame her.
Kevin Ryan: But why did she take off right when she was closing in?
Kate Beckett: Because she knows who the killer is, and his name isn't Edgar. I did some research on her dead MI6 partner, Wesley Connors, and I found this article from six years ago.
Richard Castle: Wait a minute. Wesley Connors is the man in the brown leather jacket.
Kate Beckett: I knew he looked familiar.
Javier Esposito: This article says he's been executed.
Alexis Castle: Guys, when Hayley recognized the code, she looked like she'd just seen a ghost.
Richard Castle: That's because she did. Wesley Connors is still alive.

Richard Castle: You all right?
Hayley Shipton: Sure. I'm fine.
Richard Castle: You don't have to mourn your friends alone, you know.
Alexis Castle: You don't have to do anything alone ever again.


"Castle: Flowers for Your Grave (#1.1)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: And the ever popular "will you sign my 'chest'".

Alexis Castle: How do you get away with one murder by committing two more?
Richard Castle: At one death, you look for motive. At two, you look for a connection. At three, you look for someone like Kyle. At three, you don't need motive, because mentally unstable serial killers don't usually have one.

Richard Castle: Just once, I'd like someone to come up to me and say something new.
Kate Beckett: [off screen] Mr. Castle?
Richard Castle: [Castle turns around and pulls out a pen] Where would you like it?
Kate Beckett: [Beckett approaches and holds up her badge] Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
Alexis Castle: [Alexis takes the pen] That's new.

Richard Castle: You're missing the late show.
[referring to the man Gram brought home from the book launch party]
Alexis Castle: I saw it in previews.
Richard Castle: Looks like we have a new lead.
Alexis Castle: His name is Burt. He does magic.
Richard Castle: Wow.
Alexis Castle: Yeah.
Richard Castle: Let's hope he disappears by morning.
[pause]
Richard Castle: C'est apres minuit dans une school night.
["It is after midnight on a school night" in French]
Richard Castle: Don't you turn into a pumpkin or something?
Alexis Castle: Not when your dad's been escorted away by cops. How was the slammer? Anyone make you their bitch?
Richard Castle: [pause] Sorry, Switchblade. I still belong to you. Baby bird?
[holds out can of whipped cream]
Alexis Castle: Already brushed.
Richard Castle: Your loss.
[sprays some in his mouth]

Richard Castle: It's just so senseless.
Alexis Castle: Murder usually is.
Richard Castle: Nope. Murder usually makes a great deal of sense. Passion, greed, politics. What's senseless here is the books the killer chose. Hell Hath No Fury? Flowers For Your Grave? My truly lesser works. Why would a psychotic fan pick those?
Alexis Castle: Maybe because he's psychotic. Come on. It's bedtime. You can figure it out in the morning.

Richard Castle: You wanna know why I killed Derrick? There were no more surprises. I knew exactly what was going to happen every moment of every scene. It's just like these parties, they become so predictable. "I'm your biggest fan!" "Where do you get your ideas?"
Alexis Castle: And the ever popular, "Will you sign my chest?"
Richard Castle: That one I don't mind so much.
Alexis Castle: Yeah. Well, FYI, I do.
Richard Castle: Just once I'd like someone to come up to me and say something new.
Kate Beckett: Mr. Castle?
Richard Castle: [Pen in hand] Where would you like it?
Kate Beckett: Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
Alexis Castle: That's new.
[Takes Castle's pen]


"Castle: For Better or Worse (#6.23)" (2014)
[first lines]
Martha Rodgers: 297 wedding guests. It's a minor miracle, our final total is below 300.
Richard Castle: There. I am done. Five hundred autographed copies of "Wild Storm". My pre-wedding signing obligations are finished.
Alexis Castle: Good. Now sign this.
Richard Castle: What's this one?
Alexis Castle: Final payment for the rooftop venue.
Richard Castle: You mean the perfect venue. A 360-degree view of Manhattan. The stars above us, the world at our feet. It's too bad Beckett didn't want to bungee jump off the side of the building for our big exit. Now, that would have been cool.
Alexis Castle: The tuxes will be in tomorrow evening. Did you tell Esposito and Ryan?
Richard Castle: I did. They will be here to try them on and to collect them. You are the most adorable best man a groom could hope for.
Martha Rodgers: [the front door buzzes] Ah, probably the concierge with more gifts. Ah, hi, Gerard. Put them over there with the others. Thank you.
Richard Castle: [picking up his jacket] All right. I'm out.
Martha Rodgers: Bye.
Alexis Castle: Dad! Don't forget the forms for the marriage license.
[Alexis holds out the paperwork; Castle's hand appears from the corridor and snatches it]

Martha Rodgers: Who is Rogan O'Leary?
Richard Castle: A guy she met freshman year at Stanford.
Kate Beckett: Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
Alexis Castle: And you married him?
Kate Beckett: Not really.
Richard Castle: Except she did. The two of them drove to Vegas, had too much to drink, and thought it would be a riot to take a cab to a drive-thru wedding chapel.
Martha Rodgers: You didn't.
Richard Castle: She did.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, I did. But I never thought that it was for real. And I broke up with the guy a couple of weeks later, after I found out he was a compulsive liar, degenerate, and a thief.
Richard Castle: Yes, but not before you tied the knot. And here I thought you were a one-and-done kind of girl.
Martha Rodgers: Does your father know about this?
Kate Beckett: I really am gonna be sick.
Richard Castle: [the doorbell buzzes] And that'll be my lawyer.

Kevin Ryan: [getting fitted for their tuxedos, Ryan enters in a suit about three sizes too small] Um, Alexis? I haven't gained this much daddy weight.
Alexis Castle: That can't be right. I double checked the size ten times.
Javier Esposito: Hey, maybe you finally hit that growth spurt you've been waiting on, bro.

Alexis Castle: We lost our venue? How is that even possible?
Richard Castle: They had a circus party there tonight, with some first-time fire breathers. Now our rooftop venue does not have a floor.
Alexis Castle: This is a disaster.
Richard Castle: I have no place to get married and no one to get married to. I think "disaster" is an understatement.
Martha Rodgers: So-called disaster is merely opportunity in disguise. We'll just find another place to hold the wedding.
Richard Castle: Are you kidding? Where are we gonna find a venue in Manhattan that holds 300 people, in less than two days?
Alexis Castle: [getting an idea] Ooh! We already have one. Not in Manhattan. We can move the whole party to our house in the Hamptons.
Richard Castle: [liking the idea] Yes. Yes! We've held larger parties than this out there.
Alexis Castle: We rent luxury buses to shuttle our guests and pay the vendors' transportation costs.
Martha Rodgers: Brilliant! I will call the housekeeper first thing in the morning and have them start getting the place ready.
Richard Castle: Do you really think we can pull this off?
Martha Rodgers: Oh, please! I once staged "A Chorus Line" on a subway platform when our company lost its space. I think I can move a wedding. Alexis will help with everything. You just make sure Katherine finds that deadbeat husband of hers.


"Castle: Hell Hath No Fury (#1.4)" (2009)
Martha Rodgers: Well, I found out why your books aren't selling. Listen to this review. "His work has become so hackneyed, so cliche, that we wonder if Mr. Castle has anything new to say. It appears the magic, if there ever was any, is long gone."
[sympathetically hugging him]
Martha Rodgers: Oh, darling, I know it's awful. It's awful. I'm sorry. Daggers to the heart.
Alexis Castle: [looking at the review] The Syracuse Times-Reader?
Martha Rodgers: But don't you worry. I am going to write them a piece of my mind. And who cares if they say the magic is gone? Harper Lee only wrote one book. You've written dozens. Of course, hers was literature, but still I...
[Martha mutters to herself and leaves]
Richard Castle: How long do you think it took her to find that review?
Alexis Castle: Probably all afternoon.
Richard Castle: Oh, yeah.

Alexis Castle: I don't get it. If Creason didn't do it, then how does the rug fit in?
Richard Castle: Killer probably heard about the feud between the two of them and tried to shift suspicion. Which is stupid, because without the rug, it would have just looked like a mugging gone wrong.
Alexis Castle: So by trying to look smart, they were actually being stupid.
Richard Castle: I think you just described the human condition.
Alexis Castle: Speaking of the human condition, how's it going with Detective Beckett?
Richard Castle: What do you mean?
Alexis Castle: Oh, come on, dad. You are basing a character off her. And you always say you have to love your characters.
Richard Castle: Well, she is a character. But, uh... just research. Nothing more.
Alexis Castle: [skeptical] Yeah, I'm sure.

Alexis Castle: Gina called. She wanted me to remind you about the reading and book signing at Broadway Books tomorrow night.
Richard Castle: Well, that was nice of her.
Alexis Castle: Yeah. And if you don't show, she will...
[consulting a hand-written note]
Alexis Castle: ...drip honey on your eyeballs and let loose a hundred fire ants.

Richard Castle: [answering a phone call] Hello?
Alexis Castle: Hey, dad, where are you?
Richard Castle: Where am I supposed to be?
Alexis Castle: Fire ants? Eyeballs?
Richard Castle: [remembering his book signing] Right. Uh... stall for me. I'm on my way.


"Castle: Famous Last Words (#2.7)" (2009)
Richard Castle: [Castle to Alexis] Okay, you know, I - you know what? I think it's time we reset the parental controls on your computer.
Alexis Castle: Please... I had to set Parental Controls on your computer. Remember?
Richard Castle: Speaking of which...
Alexis Castle: No.

[first lines]
Richard Castle: [playing "Guitar Hero", he stops when he sees Alexis with tears in her eyes] Hey. What's wrong?
Alexis Castle: Dad, they're saying she's dead.
Richard Castle: Who's dead?
Alexis Castle: Hayley Blue. The Gawker website just posted it.
Richard Castle: Oh, the girl from the band you like.
Alexis Castle: They say they found her body in an alley in Chelsea.
Richard Castle: Oh, angel, are you sure it's not just a rumor? I mean, those gossip blogs, they don't really check facts.
Alexis Castle: They were right when they said Haley was breaking up the band to go solo.
Richard Castle: Look, if there was any truth to it, I'm sure Detective Beckett would have called by now.
[his cell phone rings]

Javier Esposito: [listening to a song song Hayley wrote about an obsessed fan/stalker] "Fifty feet or less."
Detective Kate Beckett: She got a restraining order against him. All right, run it and get me a name.
Richard Castle: [leading Alexis away] And you will go off to school.
Alexis Castle: But I was just helpful.
Richard Castle: Yes, but if I let you out of class every time you were helpful, you'd never go.
Alexis Castle: But I won't be able to focus on school today. I just... can't concentrate.
Richard Castle: Which will make you just like all the other kids in your class.

Richard Castle: Who's John McGinnis?
Alexis Castle: Hayley's old manager. She fired him when she got clean. She didn't say his name, but in her interview with "Spin" last month, she pretty much implied that he's the one that got her hooked to begin with.
Richard Castle: If the band got back together, he'd have the most to gain.
Martha Rodgers: Now, does that man look like a killer to you?
Richard Castle: [quoting Beckett] Everybody looks like a killer to me. It's a job requirement.
Alexis Castle: You didn't say that about Skye.
Richard Castle: Just... let me have this moment.


"Castle: Secret's Safe with Me (#5.3)" (2012)
Alexis Castle: How can you be so smart and so clueless at the same time?
Richard Castle: Practice.

[having gotten Alexis settled into her dorm room, Castle prepares to leave]
Alexis Castle: Hey, dad? I... I know it's been a while, but, um... could you do it? One last time?
[Castle smiles, walks over to Alexis' bed and peeks underneath]
Richard Castle: No monsters.
Alexis Castle: You sure?
Richard Castle: Yeah. And if there are, I'll come running.

[first lines]
Alexis Castle: Okay, one last box and I'm ready for college.
Richard Castle: Sweetheart, this is a lot of stuff. You do realize you don't have to take all of this stuff with you to your dorm room. Like this, what is this?
Alexis Castle: Remember? I wanted to ride my bike without training wheels, like the big kids. And I did, so you got me my very own gold medal.
Richard Castle: Oh. Well, honey, that is... that's a very sweet memory, but your dorm room is only so big. You're gonna have to leave some of this stuff behind.
Martha Rodgers: [entering] Don't listen to him, darling. Everybody needs their stuff.
Alexis Castle: See?

Alexis Castle: What are you so happy about?
Richard Castle: There is a $4 million diamond bracelet buried in my auction winnings. I'm rich. Or richer.
Alexis Castle: 'Till Detective Beckett takes it from you and returns it to its rightful owner.
Richard Castle: Yes, but not even that can ruin my day, because tonight is my very special "last night before college" dinner with my daughter.
Alexis Castle: About that. Can we cancel?
Richard Castle: What? Whoa. What? Why?
[Alexis shrugs halfheartedly]
Richard Castle: Alexis, we made these plans months ago. Do you know how hard it, even for me, to get reservations at...
Alexis Castle: If it's the reservations you care so much about, why don't you just take your girlfriend?
Richard Castle: [she storms out] Whoa, Alexis... that's not... that's not...
[sound of a door slamming offscreen]
Richard Castle: ...that's not what I meant.


"Castle: Hedge Fund Homeboys (#1.3)" (2009)
Richard Castle: Reading the paper? You are gonna lose all of your wired-teen-hyper-texting-nano-gizmo street cred.
Alexis Castle: I'm a rebel. I kick it old school.
Richard Castle: [referring to cup of coffee on counter] Is this...
Alexis Castle: Cream, two sugars.
Richard Castle: Thanks. Style section. Anything I need to know?
Alexis Castle: The '70s are back.
Richard Castle: Hmm. They're like the Highlander, they just won't die.
[pause]
Richard Castle: Morning, Mother. You're dressed early.
Martha Rodgers: Ah! I have class.
Richard Castle: I believe that's a matter of some debate.
Martha Rodgers: At the New School, funny man. Look, it's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done, but, a girl has to stand on her own two feet.
Richard Castle: What's the class?
Martha Rodgers: "Introduction To Life Coaching". It's always been my desire to make a difference, wether on stage or off. And I've had cards made.
Alexis Castle: [stammering] That's my ID... It says here I'm your client.
Richard Castle: Well, of course you are. Haven't I been telling you what to do your whole life?
Alexis Castle: Oh, uh, Dad, Julie Schmidt's father's back in rehab, so a spot just opened to chaperone the D.C. trip.
Richard Castle: Where is the... How did you know Julie's dad was back in rehab?
Martha Rodgers: Must be a wired-teen-hyper-nano thing. So what do you say?
Richard Castle: Sorry, kiddo, but with you away, my chaperoning duties reside here. Or are you forgetting what happened the last time we left her alone?
Alexis Castle: So she had a little party.
Richard Castle: There were lime shards embedded in the walls.
Martha Rodgers: It was Cinco de Mayo.
Alexis Castle: Exactly.
Richard Castle: [phone rings, plays "Dracula" theme] I hear dead people.
[answers phone]
Richard Castle: Who was murdered, and was it gruesome?

Alexis Castle: Are you trying to figure out how to murder someone in their sleep again?
Richard Castle: Not this time.

Martha Rodgers: Now does this look like a wild group? For your information, I am hosting a seminar for my life coaching class, "Be the Change You Want To See".
Richard Castle: How very Zen of you.
Alexis Castle: Dad, come on, be supportive. She's trying to help people.
Richard Castle: Yeah, to my liquor cabinet.
Martha Rodgers: No. This is going to be a very civilized affair. Now, off, off, off, off. Have fun!
[behind a closed door]
Martha Rodgers: Haha! Okay! Who wants a drink?
[cork pops, crowd cheers]

Richard Castle: [having agreed to chaperone Alexis' trip] I just realized I have some business to take care of in D.C. anyway.
Alexis Castle: Really?
Richard Castle: Yeah, I got to pick out a spot for my monument, just in case.
Alexis Castle: I think Washington and Lincoln already have the good ones.
Richard Castle: Maybe they can move Jefferson.
Alexis Castle: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah. I'm sure.


"Castle: The Third Man (#2.14)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: What's all the excitement about?
Richard Castle: Only the New York Ledger's annual ten most eligible bachelors list. And guess who's on it?
Alexis Castle: Who?
Richard Castle: [trying to make it as obvious as possible] I don't know, but he must be the president of the really good looking club.
Martha Rodgers: [picking up the paper] Huh. Ranked number nine. Weren't you number seven last year?
Richard Castle: Yes, and thank you for pointing out my shortcomings once again, mother.

Richard Castle: [Castle has been named one of New York's most eligible bachelors] What about this is embarrassing?
Alexis Castle: Nothing. It's the secret dream of every sixteen year old to have their father crowned one of the most available hotties of the year.
Martha Rodgers: Well, according to this, your father may not be on the market. You didn't read the blurb here?
Richard Castle: Mm-mm.
Martha Rodgers: "Though claiming to be single, Richard Castle is rumored to be romantically involved with NYPD Detective Kate Beckett."
Richard Castle: What?
Martha Rodgers: "The inspiration for Nikki Heat, the heroine of his latest best-selling novel. Bachelor number nine may not be eligible for next year's list."
Richard Castle: [taking the paper] Where did they get that?
Alexis Castle: Let me see.
Richard Castle: I didn't say anything like that in my interview.
Alexis Castle: Detective Beckett is not going to love this.
Richard Castle: Maybe she'll just laugh it off.
Martha Rodgers: How is it, for a man who is surrounded by women, that you know so little about us?
Richard Castle: [his phone rings] Speak of the devil. Okay, either Beckett's calling because there's a dead body, or because she read the article.
Martha Rodgers: Pray for murder.
Richard Castle: [trying to keep his voice steady] Good morning.
[he listens for a moment, then covers the speaker, relieved]
Richard Castle: Dead body. I'm good.

Richard Castle: Hey, I know that this can be weird for you, how parents aren't supposed to date.
Alexis Castle: I know you date, dad. And I know you probably do other things that I am not going to think about, and will never, ever mention.
Richard Castle: Fair enough. So? What's wrong?
Alexis Castle: I don't know. I mean, I'm not gonna be here forever, and then who's gonna look after you then? Bachelorette number three?
Richard Castle: [chuckles] Slow down there. Let's not go buying rings any time soon. It's just a date.
Alexis Castle: I know. And she seems nice and all, but... if that's who you date, I mean, are you really gonna find happiness with the kind of person who's a number on a list?
Richard Castle: Well, I already have. You're number one on mine. Look, it's my job to worry about you, not the other way around. I'll be fine.
Alexis Castle: Yeah, that's what you said when you tried to deep fry a turkey, and we all know how that turned out. I just don't want you to get hurt. Or... burn your eyebrows off, again.
Richard Castle: I'm glad they grew back.
Alexis Castle: They're finally matching.


"Castle: Dead Red (#8.11)" (2016)
Alexis Castle: What is all that?
Martha Rodgers: Oh, my lord.
Richard Castle: Somewhere in one of these bags is the perfect baby shower gift for Jen and Ryan. I just need your help picking which one. Ready? Ta-da!
[he shows them a baby-sized Kevlar vest with "Baby" on the front]
Alexis Castle: No.
Martha Rodgers: Is that a bulletproof baby ve...
Alexis Castle: It's completely inappropriate.
Richard Castle: Really?
Martha Rodgers: Oh, my... so wrong.
Richard Castle: Okay. Well, then you're gonna hate the onesies that say "I'm with Officer Stupid".

Alexis Castle: Too bad you can't go to the shower.
Richard Castle: Oh, well, Beckett got, uh, baby showers in the break-up, so...
Martha Rodgers: That's funny, 'cause you... recently, you just, uh, don't seem to be so tortured by all that.
Richard Castle: Oh, well, you know, Beckett asked for some time, so I'm just giving it to her. Every day.
Martha Rodgers: Well...
Richard Castle: [under his breath] Sometimes twice.

Martha Rodgers: [seeing Castle's gift ideas for Jenny's baby shower] Richard, I... honestly, why can't you just buy a simple tradition... why is this so difficult for you?
Richard Castle: It's not. This next one is perfect. Trust me.
Martha Rodgers: Okay.
Alexis Castle: [Castle reaches into one of his bags] Is it a baby-sized lightsaber?
Richard Castle: [laughing it off] No.
Alexis Castle: [Castle reaches into another bag] Please tell me that's not the creepy robot nanny that sings Leonard Cohen lullabies.
Richard Castle: What's wrong with Leonard Cohen lullabies?
Martha Rodgers: It's more like "Silence of the Lambs" than "Mary Had a Little Lamb". Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. Fortunately, Alexis has purchased the perfect baby shower gift.
Alexis Castle: [she hands over a gift basket with more traditional baby gifts] All you have to do is sign the card.
Richard Castle: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find machine-washable Kevlar? Why didn't you tell me this before I went shopping?
Martha Rodgers: Because we would have so missed torturing you. You are our favorite reality show.
Richard Castle: [sarcastic] I'm so happy I could entertain you.


"Castle: Death Wish (#8.17)" (2016)
Alexis Castle: Dad, what are you thinking?
Richard Castle: Lars found the lamp, and clearly, he rubbed it, but that makes him the genie's master, right? But if no one has rubbed the lamp since and I were to discover it... then that would make me the genie's new master.
Alexis Castle: Okay. Let's just pretend that all this is real. You do realize that if Lars was the genie's master, it didn't work out so well for him in the end.
Richard Castle: What are you saying?
Alexis Castle: Be careful what you wish for. It just might come true. And in this case, it might just get you killed.

Alexis Castle: The mystery blonde is real.
Richard Castle: Thank you!
Alexis Castle: But she's not a genie. Her name is Genevieve Sutton. She has an office on Second Avenue. She's listed as a security consultant.
Kevin Ryan: A fixer by the sound of it.
Javier Esposito: Now, how did you get this info, Alexis?
Alexis Castle: Well, after dad left, I dusted his desk for prints. Got a little help from Hayley, who ran them through the DMV database, and voila.
Richard Castle: [crestfallen] So she's not a genie?
Alexis Castle: Sorry.
Richard Castle: Genevieve is short for "genie". I mean, seriously, if she can grant wishes, a driver's license, that would be a piece of cake.
Alexis Castle: Mm-hmm, but why would a genie want to do that?
Kevin Ryan: Oh, seriously, who cares?
Javier Esposito: Make-believe time with Castle is over.
Kevin Ryan: We're gonna bring in Genevieve and find out the real story.
Alexis Castle: [Ryan and Espo leave] Someone need some ice cream?
Richard Castle: Me.

Dr. Marion Baker: King Solomon's tomb. Remarkable. It's arguably the greatest discovery in the last fifty years.
Richard Castle: [showing her the photograph of the lamp] Now, this, Dr. Baker, is what I need your expertise with.
Dr. Marion Baker: Certainly. Oh, you see these grooves. They indicate it was a wheel-made lamp, versus the mold-based ones that became so popular in the 40s...
Richard Castle: Uh, fascinating, Doctor, but can you skip ahead to the part where King Solomon seals a genie inside of it?
Dr. Marion Baker: [thinking it's a joke] Ah. Did Sidney put you up to this?
Alexis Castle: Who's Sidney?
Dr. Marion Baker: The schmuck I beat out for tenure.
Richard Castle: Dr. Baker, I do not know Sidney. This is not a joke. I am very serious.
Dr. Marion Baker: But you're acting as if you believe in genies.
Alexis Castle: Doctor, it's not an act.


"Castle: Significant Others (#5.10)" (2013)
Richard Castle: Your throat feel any better?
Alexis Castle: Why'd I have to get mono?
Richard Castle: Well, it's called the kissing disease for a reason. I assume you and Max were... I'm going to stop right there.
Alexis Castle: I think that's best.

Meredith: Are you sure it's okay that I'm going to Paree without you?
Alexis Castle: Just because I'm sick, you shouldn't miss it. I want you to go.
Martha Rodgers: We all do.
Richard Castle: What's going on?
Alexis Castle: I just feel so guilty that mom's missing her vacation because I'm sick, so I told her to enjoy Paris for the both of us.
Richard Castle: Are you sure, Alexis? I mean, your mother...
[behind Alexis and Meredith, Martha gestures for him to play along]
Richard Castle: ...should... enjoy her vacation. Have a safe trip, Meredith.

Richard Castle: What are you doing here?
Meredith: [sympathetically] Alexis, oh, my poor baby.
Alexis Castle: Aren't you supposed to be in Paris?
Meredith: Not without my daughter. And since you can't go to Paree, I'm bringing Paree to you. French pastries and "Funny Face". We can enjoy them as I nurse you back to health.
Richard Castle: Meredith, how... why... why so much luggage?
[Meredith gives him a coy smile and realization dawns on him]
Richard Castle: Oh.


"Castle: Room 147 (#6.16)" (2014)
Richard Castle: [in bed with Beckett] Do I smell coffee?
Kate Beckett: [sleepily] If you do, it was made by elves.
[cut to them entering the kitchen; there is a steaming coffee mug on the counter. After a moment, Alexis pops up from behind it]
Richard Castle: [starting] OOH!
Alexis Castle: AHH!
Richard Castle: Geez!
Alexis Castle: You scared me.
Kate Beckett: Yeah, I think we all just kick-started our day.

Kate Beckett: Thanks for meeting with me.
Alexis Castle: Yeah. What's so important?
Kate Beckett: Um... you know that I don't take sides on anything between you and your dad, right?
Alexis Castle: Yeah, I appreciate that.
Kate Beckett: Okay, well, your dad wants you to move back home. And I know that you said you have a lease, but you also said that there were other reasons why you didn't want to move back, and I just... I wanna make sure that one of those reasons isn't me.
Alexis Castle: Oh, no. No, no, it's... it's not you at all.
Kate Beckett: Are you sure? 'Cause the last thing I wanna do is make you feel unwelcome in your own home.
Alexis Castle: No, it's not you. It's me. All those things my dad said when I was moving out, about me making a mistake moving in with my boyfriend, he was right. I can see it so clearly now. Why didn't I then?
Kate Beckett: You were in the love haze.
Alexis Castle: The love haze?
Kate Beckett: It's like a drug. It makes intelligent people do... stupid things. And then it clears and you look around and you wonder "What was I thinking?". Your dad just wants to help. It's okay to let him.
Alexis Castle: Yes, but this was my mistake. He shouldn't have to pay for it, so I will tutor and do whatever I have to until the lease is up.
Kate Beckett: Okay, I get it. Look, I know what you're doing seems noble, but it's not. I mean, the long hours, the exhaustion. What you're actually doing is punishing yourself. Trust me. I've been there. This... this isn't necessary. Your dad loves you. He worries about you. I think your penance is paid.

[last lines]
Richard Castle: [relaxing with Beckett, he hears someone knock on the door] Excuse me.
[opening the front door, he sees Alexis]
Richard Castle: Alexis! What's going on?
Alexis Castle: Dad... can I come home?
Richard Castle: Come here.
[they hug tightly]
Alexis Castle: [mouthing to Beckett] Thanks.


"Castle: Overkill (#2.23)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: I think you've been writing too long not to know that it's "i" before "e" except after "c."

Richard Castle: Thank you for your help, sweetie. I am so behind on my deadline.
Alexis Castle: That's 'cause you always find new ways to procrastinate.

[jealous of his relationship with Beckett, Castle has created a new Nikki Heat character based on Demming]
Alexis Castle: I do have one note, though. This new character... the, uh, robbery detective?
Richard Castle: Schlemming? What about him?
Alexis Castle: Well, it seems like he kinda... came up out of nowhere.
Richard Castle: Yeah, well, I can't argue with that.
Alexis Castle: He's coming off a bit like a doofus.
Richard Castle: [happy] You think?
Alexis Castle: I think you should lose him.
Richard Castle: [striking the passages out] If only it was this easy.


"Castle: Child's Play (#7.4)" (2014)
Richard Castle: Oh, my god. Ice cream? Are you trying to kill me?
Alexis Castle: At least you'll die happy.
[offering Beckett a spoon]
Alexis Castle: Kate?
Kate Beckett: [swallowing the bite of food in her mouth] Mmm. Oh, no, thanks. I couldn't. Not after this amazing meal that you guys just stuffed us with.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, darling, dessert is not optional. Not after I traipsed all over town to find Richard his favorite flavor of ice cream.
Richard Castle: Potato chip fudge?

Alexis Castle: Dad, what took you so long? School ended hours ago.
Richard Castle: Alexis, sweetheart...
Alexis Castle: I've been really worried.
Richard Castle: Yes, I know. And I think I know why. Because I disappeared. But... I'm back now, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay.
Alexis Castle: I just keep thinking I'll lose you again, or something terrible will happen. I know it sounds crazy...
Richard Castle: No. No, it does not sound crazy. I would feel the same way. Matter of fact, I did.
Alexis Castle: [remembering] After Paris.
Richard Castle: After Paris. I... I couldn't let you out of my sight.
[he wipes a tear from Alexis's cheek]
Richard Castle: And I know that you consider yourself the adult of the family.
Alexis Castle: For good reason.
Richard Castle: For very good reason. But... but part of being an adult is realizing you can't always protect the people you love.

Alexis Castle: Where do you think you're going?
Richard Castle: Um... second grade.
Alexis Castle: Not without finishing your breakfast.
Richard Castle: I ate most of it, and I'm just... I'm late.
Alexis Castle: Come on, dad, just one more bite.
Richard Castle: Alexis, I'm not a...
[as he talks, she sticks a forkful of food into his mouth, and Beckett tries not to laugh]
Alexis Castle: [handing him a paper bag] Now don't forget your lunch.
Richard Castle: [leading Beckett to the front door] Okay, you're right. It's weird. I'll talk to her.


"Castle: The Lives of Others (#5.19)" (2013)
Alexis Castle: Did you ever stop to think that maybe there's an innocent explanation for everything?
Richard Castle: All right, what is the innocent explanation for rolling up a rug and taking it out of your apartment at 3AM?
Alexis Castle: Yeah. That is pretty weird.

Richard Castle: All the evidence we need is in that shredder. It'll tell us who the victim is and we can prove she's missing.
Alexis Castle: And what if he catches you?
Richard Castle: He won't. Not if I have your help. Next time he leaves, I'll slip over there. You keep watch...
[holds up a walkie talkie]
Richard Castle: and make sure he's not coming back. I go inside. I get whatever's in the shredder, and I get out. Two minutes, tops.
Alexis Castle: On crutches.
Richard Castle: The doctor did say I need more exercise.
Alexis Castle: What if I go? I'm smaller, faster and younger.
Richard Castle: Oh. No. No, no. If you get caught, you get a B&E on your record, and you'll never become President.

Richard Castle: You were all in on it?
Martha Rodgers: Mm-hmm. Michael, Brent, and Emily, my brilliant acting students. I, of course, was the director.
Richard Castle: And the boys?
Javier Esposito: Yeah.
Kate Beckett: Oh, yeah. They were great. Except you didn't have to kick down the door.
Javier Esposito: I was in the moment.
Kevin Ryan: We wanted to be convincing.
Javier Esposito: Yeah.
Richard Castle: Alexis, you too?
Alexis Castle: It's why I bought you the binoculars.
Richard Castle: Even Captain Gates?
Kevin Ryan: Yeah. She jumped at the chance to dress you down for any reason.
Richard Castle: Where is Captain Gates?
Javier Esposito: She couldn't make it.
Richard Castle: Good.


"Castle: Rise (#4.1)" (2011)
Alexis Castle: You act like this is all about her, but you were standing right next to her. You could have been shot. Hell, *I* could have been shot.
Richard Castle: That's why I have to do this. To make sure they stay away.
Alexis Castle: Yeah? You need to grow up, dad. You're a writer, not a cop. Stop pretending.

Alexis Castle: Dad? Don't grow up too much, okay?
Richard Castle: Hey... it's me we're talking about!

Richard Castle: You're right. I do need to grow up. But that's why I'm doing what I'm doing. Everything that's happened happened because of me. And I need to be there for her. I owe her that.
Alexis Castle: Does she make you happy?
Richard Castle: Yeah, she does.
Alexis Castle: Is it enough?
Richard Castle: It's enough for now.


"Castle: Suicide Squeeze (#2.15)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: [Martha is teaching Alexis to read minds; Castle's phone rings] That must be Beckett.
Richard Castle: How did you know?
Alexis Castle: [dropping her act] It's after ten. On a weekday. Who else is it gonna be?
Richard Castle: Oh, she is good.

Alexis Castle: Doesn't it bother you that you don't know who your dad is?
Richard Castle: No. Why? Does it bother you?
Alexis Castle: It's like... I have this family tree, and there's a whole chunk of it missing. There's a whole part of my history that doesn't even exist. I mean, really, how could Gram not know?
Richard Castle: My first year of college, I, uh, went to a party. Met this girl, Alice. In the space of six hours, we met, we talked, we danced, we fell in love. The next morning, she was gone. I spent a year trying to find her, but I never learned her last name. There's not a week that goes by I don't think about her. Your gram told me that she loved a lifetime the night she met him.
Alexis Castle: Don't you feel like you're missing out, not knowing?
Richard Castle: No. Oh, no, that's the beauty of the mystery. Right now, my father could be an astronaut, a pirate, a humanitarian, winner of the Nobel Prize. I mean, what one man could live up to all that?

Alexis Castle: Hey, dad.
Richard Castle: Hey, daughter. What are you doing up so late?
Alexis Castle: Waiting for you.
Richard Castle: Did I do something wrong?
Alexis Castle: No. I was just thinking about what you said about your dad. How he could be anything you imagine him to be. An astronaut or a pirate.
Richard Castle: Whipped cream inventor.
Alexis Castle: Or whipped cream inventor. But there's one thing he can't be.
Richard Castle: What's that?
Alexis Castle: A dad. Just a regular dad. Teaching his son how to ride a bike, or helping him with homework, or having a catch. It makes me sad you didn't get to have those things.
Richard Castle: Well, I can't miss what I didn't have.
Alexis Castle: What if... you could have it?
Richard Castle: You have a time machine behind the kitchen counter?


"Castle: XX (#8.2)" (2015)
Richard Castle: So what do we know?
Alexis Castle: Last night, Beckett's old team from the Attorney General's office was killed.
Richard Castle: Right. And then this morning, she gets a call from their new hire, Vikram, and all hell breaks loose.
Alexis Castle: Which means everything must be connected to Beckett's time in the A.G.
Richard Castle: But how? That was two years ago.
Alexis Castle: Maybe she stayed in contact.
Richard Castle: And kept me in the dark? Well, before today, I wouldn't have believed it. Now I can't help but wonder what else she's keeping from me.
Alexis Castle: Don't go there, dad.
Richard Castle: Easier said than done.

Richard Castle: Hey, Alexis. I have another clue.
Alexis Castle: So do we.
Richard Castle: We?
Alexis Castle: Me and Hayley. Her feelers paid off. Vikram showed up at a hotel in Midtown an hour after they left the prison.
Richard Castle: Was Beckett with him?
Alexis Castle: I don't know. We just got here. I'll call you as soon as we figure anything out.
Richard Castle: No, no, Alexis. I don't want you involved in this.
Alexis Castle: Dad, I can take care of myself.
Richard Castle: Alexis, no. It is too dangerous.
Alexis Castle: I'm not a kid anymore, dad. Beckett's family. I'll call you after.

Vikram Singh: Just us again. What now?
Kate Beckett: Now we figure out what the hell LokSat 2011DB means.
Richard Castle: [cut to Castle's office] It's a product number. Serial number?
Hayley Shipton: Keypad code.
Alexis Castle: Safe deposit box.
Kate Beckett: [cut back to Rita's safe house] Okay, so LokSat represents the CIA operation used to transport drugs for Bracken and Vulcan Simmons.
Vikram Singh: So it's a... it's a...
Richard Castle: [cut back to Castle's office] A code name?
Kate Beckett: [cut to the safe house] Uh, maybe. But you know what? Maybe it's something more. Maybe it's not just the name of the operation. Maybe it's the name of the transportation company.
Vikram Singh: A modern-day Air America.
Kate Beckett: Exactly. And 2011DB is the tail number on an airplane.
Richard Castle: [cut to Castle's office; "simultaneously" with Beckett] The tail number of an airplane.


"Castle: Watershed (#5.24)" (2013)
Alexis Castle: Professor Rankowski still hasn't received the check for my Costa Rica trip
Richard Castle: [Evasive] He didn't? That's so weird.
Alexis Castle: You didn't send it, did you?
Richard Castle: Why - why do you want to go study the rainforest for six weeks anyway?
Alexis Castle: Dad, we talked about this.
Richard Castle: I know. But you're going to be staying in the middle of a jungle, miles away from the nearest phone, hours from the nearest hospital. You could be bitten by a poisonous spider, or a poisonous snake. I looked it up. Toucans are extremely aggressive this time of year.

Alexis Castle: Dad, we need to talk.
Richard Castle: Which of these do you like better?
[He holds up two different Nikki Heat covers]
Alexis Castle: Dad, I'm serious.
Richard Castle: I like the green one, but it kind of looks like a giant green lizard's attacking the city. Which is cool, but it's not what the book's about, so I either rewrite the book to make it about a giant lizard, or...
Alexis Castle: Dad?
Richard Castle: Magenta. You're right. It's classic. It's cool. It tells the story...

Alexis Castle: Dad, are you okay?
Richard Castle: Yeah.
Alexis Castle: You seem sad.
Richard Castle: No, I'm fine.
Alexis Castle: It's only Costa Rica. I'll be back before you know it.
Richard Castle: Oh, that's... well, that's sweet, but no, it's not about that. It's, uh... something your grandmother told me. Comes a point in our lives when we have to stop fooling ourselves into thinking life's gonna be the way we want it to be; start seeing things for how they really are.


"Castle: Always (#4.23)" (2012)
Richard Castle: Either this is the most boring dream I've ever had or you can't sleep either.
Alexis Castle: It's not a dream. More like a nightmare.
Richard Castle: Is this about your valedictorian speech?
Alexis Castle: It's my change to say something important. Something worthy. I don't want to blow it but I feel like I have nothing to say.
Richard Castle: You mean nothing compared to the great scared texts of mankind, or...
[reads her paper]
Richard Castle: Winston Churchill's speech to Harrow's or Steve Jobs' address to Stanford. You know, maybe you pick some speeches a little less daunting to compare yours to. Like um... Say Anything. Or Twilight!
Alexis Castle: It's not supposed to be this hard.
Richard Castle: You know, the most worthwhile things in life are often the most difficult. For example...
[his phone rings; it's Beckett]
Richard Castle: Wow. That really is a smart phone.

Alexis Castle: There is a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not. Everything eventually ends. As much as I've looked forward to this day, I've always disliked endings. The last day of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall, you close the book, you say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. We're moving on. But just because we're leaving, and that hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us, they'll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground, our north star, and the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us, always.

Richard Castle: How's your speech coming?
Alexis Castle: I have watched or read every graduation address ever written and compiled all the best advice into one speech. And then I read it out loud. And guess what I sounded like. A pompous ass. I'm eighteen years old. What the hell do I know?
Richard Castle: [giving her a comforting hug] Hey, look, everything you know, everything you will know, is... it's what's true for you.
Alexis Castle: I know that everything's changing. Everything's going to be different, and I'm so scared.
Richard Castle: Of what?
Alexis Castle: Moving on.
Richard Castle: Write about that. That feels true.


"Castle: Vampire Weekend (#2.6)" (2009)
[Western themed music is playing. Castle enters dressed in a "Browncoat"-like outfit]
Alexis Castle: What exactly are you supposed to be?
Richard Castle: Space cowboy.
Alexis Castle: Ok, A: there are no cows in space. B: didn't you wear that like five years ago?
Richard Castle: So?
Alexis Castle: So, don't you think you should move on?
Richard Castle: I like it.

Alexis Castle: [Castle has rescued Alexis and her friend from an out-of-control party] Do we have to call her parents?
Richard Castle: We do. Get me their number.
Alexis Castle: She'll get in so much trouble.
Richard Castle: Less than if you had left her there.


"Castle: Secret Santa (#5.9)" (2012)
Richard Castle: [sitting down for Christmas dinner] Mother, the glogg is excellent. And everything looks excellent.
Martha Rodgers: Thank you.
Richard Castle: Just like always.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, Richard. Richard, darling, you don't have to look so miserable.
Richard Castle: Oh, no...
Alexis Castle: She's right, dad. We know how much this tradition means to you, so we both decided to cancel our plans. We're here all night, like always.
Richard Castle: I love you both so much that you would do that for me. But I was wrong about tonight. There's someplace I need to be.
Alexis Castle: Dad, I...
Martha Rodgers: Go. Go, go, go.
[Castle stands to up leave; opening the front door, he is surprised to see Beckett]
Richard Castle: Uh... Uh... I was just coming to see you.
Kate Beckett: I was coming to see you.
Richard Castle: What about your shift?
Kate Beckett: I got Karpowski to cover. What about your family tradition?
Richard Castle: Um... I was just thinking it's time for a new tradition.
Kate Beckett: Me, too.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, for god sakes, Richard. Invite the girl in.

Richard Castle: Aha! Found it.
Alexis Castle: Dad, you should toss that. It's getting kind of gross.
Richard Castle: Toss cookie angel? No way! You made this for me in first grade, with your chubby little hands.
Martha Rodgers: [entering] Darling, could you pick me up an extra bottle of aquavit for our glogg?
Richard Castle: An extra bottle of hundred proof? You're not tampering with our sacred holiday recipe?
Martha Rodgers: No, no, no. I'm just gonna mix an extra large batch to take with me Christmas Eve caroling. Oh, it'll be after our Christmas dinner. You don't mind, do you?
Richard Castle: But it's Christmas Eve. That's when we open the gifts.
Alexis Castle: Maybe we can open them in the morning?
Richard Castle: Morning? Mornings are for stockings.
Martha Rodgers: Well... I... I think... I think what Alexis is trying to say is that she has other plans, too.
Alexis Castle: Just with a couple of friends. It's...
Richard Castle: What friends? What plans? What is happening to our family tradition?
Alexis Castle: Dad, I think you're kind of overreacting.


"Castle: Hollander's Woods (#7.23)" (2015)
Alexis Castle: Dad, how old were you when you knew?
Richard Castle: Knew what?
Alexis Castle: That you wanted to be a writer.
Richard Castle: Since I was a kid, I guess. Why?
Alexis Castle: I'm finishing my junior year, and I have no idea what I want to do. By the time you were my age, you'd already published your first book, and now you're winning this amazing award because you followed your passion. How can I be amazing if I can't find mine?
Richard Castle: Trust me. You will. Or... or it'll find you. And one day, you will look back, and you will realize that... every experience you ever had, every seeming mistake or blind alley, was actually a straight line to who you were meant to be. And whatever you become, there is no question in my mind you are going to be amazing. And you know how I know?
Alexis Castle: How?
Richard Castle: 'Cause you already are.

Richard Castle: [putting a large portrait of himself on the counter] Boom! "Hello. I'm serious and brooding Richard Castle."
[he puts another, different, portrait of himself on the counter as well]
Richard Castle: "And I am friendly, accessible, ruggedly handsome Richard Castle."
Alexis Castle: Wow, dad, could your head get any bigger?
Richard Castle: Can you blame me? I'm accepting the Poe's Pen career achievement award. It is the biggest honor a mystery writer can get. I am joining the pantheon of greats to whose heights I have always aspired, so... which big head?
Kate Beckett: Uh... I like the ruggedly handsome, smiling giant you.
Alexis Castle: Hmm... I like the serious, brooding giant you.
Richard Castle: Oh. All right, mother, you are the tie breaker. Which of these should be hanging behind me at the ceremony next week?
Martha Rodgers: Darling, you know I refuse to play favorites. I love both of my son's big heads equally.


"Castle: Time Will Tell (#6.5)" (2013)
Richard Castle: I have tried to be generous and understanding. I have tried to be tolerant. But Alexis, it's been over a month and Pi is still here.
Alexis Castle: I know, dad. And he feels bad about it. We both do.
Richard Castle: I don't care if he feels bad. I want my couch back. I want my house back. You go back to college next week. What then? Sweetheart, he has to go.
Alexis Castle: You're absolutely right. He's been here way too long. It's not right, and it's not fair to you.
Richard Castle: Thank you.
Alexis Castle: You're welcome. And the best news is I think we found a place.
Richard Castle: [hugging her, then realizing what she said] Honey, that is so great. Did you say "we found a place"?
Alexis Castle: Yeah. Pi and I talked it over. He can't afford a place on his own, so we found one together.
Richard Castle: Together?
Alexis Castle: Yeah. That way the rent's totally affordable. I can cover my half with a work-steady job, and it's right next to school. Plus it'll save you having to pay for university housing this year.
Richard Castle: You don't honestly think I'm gonna let you do this, do you?
Alexis Castle: Let me? Dad, I'm nineteen.
Richard Castle: Exactly my point. Far too young to be moving in with someone.
Alexis Castle: Really? Because I was old enough to sign the lease. And weren't you living with your girlfriend when you were nineteen?
Richard Castle: Yes, but that was different.
Alexis Castle: How?
[Castle doesn't know what to say]
Alexis Castle: Trust me, dad. We've thought this through. Makes total sense.
[cut to Caskett arriving at the crime scene]
Richard Castle: In what universe does that make sense? I'll tell you what universe. The one where she's blinded by emotion and not thinking straight. It's like watching a car accident in slow motion.
Kate Beckett: You know, Castle, my dad wanted to kill the first guy that I moved in with. He did everything he could to try and talk me out of it, and all that did was make me want to do it even more.
Kate Beckett: I just wish her future self would come back and talk to her present self. Let her know what a mistake she's making. Save her from a...
[seeing the victim]
Richard Castle: ...a world of hurt.

[last lines]
Richard Castle: [entering the loft, he sees Pi's stuff is gone] You're really doing this.
Alexis Castle: I am. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm making a huge mistake.
Richard Castle: What if you are? This isn't something you can just go back and undo. Why don't you wait a year, okay? Move into the dorms; I'm sure Pi can take care of himself, and if after a year you still want to move in together, I... I won't say a word.
Alexis Castle: Yes, you will. I don't know how this is gonna turn out, dad. None of us do. But it's my life. My future. I have to find out for myself. Who are you always saying is the smart one in the family?
Richard Castle: You.
Alexis Castle: Dad, I know what I'm doing. It'll be okay.
Richard Castle: [quietly, as Alexis leaves] Too soon.


"Castle: In Plane Sight (#7.21)" (2015)
Alexis Castle: What are you going to do?
Richard Castle: Something very stupid.

Alexis Castle: I made plans for tonight.
Richard Castle: What... what plans? With who?
Alexis Castle: Oh, some friends who are doing their semester abroad in London. We're meeting at a pub in South Kent.
Richard Castle: Yeah, but the, uh... Sherlock Holmes Society is convening at 221B Baker Street. You don't want to miss the actual home of Sherlock Holmes.
Alexis Castle: You do know he's fictional, right?
Richard Castle: Yes, but his address is real. And I will be speaking, and if you're not there, who will be proud of me?
Alexis Castle: I'm always proud of you, dad. But I've heard you speak a million times. I know what you're gonna say.
Richard Castle: That is improbable.
Alexis Castle: You'll say you don't believe in writer's block. That you wrote your first novel to impress a girl, that reading great writers inspires you, and drinking with them inspires you to beat them on the bestseller list.
Richard Castle: [awkward pause] Okay, clearly I need to develop some new material.


"Castle: Kill the Messenger (#2.8)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: [after Alexis' grandmother leaves the apartment, Alexis says to her father] Is insanity inherited?

Richard Castle: What are you ladies doing?
Martha Rodgers: Alexis is assisting me in creating a MyFace account.
Richard Castle: I think you mean...
Alexis Castle: Save your breath. I've been correcting her all morning.
Martha Rodgers: Well, it's my face, isn't it? It's not your face or someone else's face. I don't... well, anyway, my fellow cast members have been raving about what fun it is, what a great networking tool it is, so... here I am.
Alexis Castle: And now you just need to select a photo for your profile page.
Martha Rodgers: Okay. Should we go...
[holding up old glamor shots]
Martha Rodgers: Dramatic, or commercial, or sassy?
Richard Castle: Don't you have anything from this century?
Martha Rodgers: What, you think the hair's a bit dated?
Richard Castle: Not exactly what I was getting at.


"Castle: Food to Die For (#2.22)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: [Struggling over a decision whether to study or spend a weekend in the Hamptons with her girlfriends while Castle is doing experiments with liquid nitrogen] When I'm studying, I'll want to be at the beach with the girls. And when I'm on the beach, I'll feel guilty for not studying.
Martha Rodgers: Well, don't look at me. I'm from the have your cake and eat it too school of decision making. I say, do both.
Richard Castle: Or. Maybe by this weekend, I'll figure out a way to take this tank of liquid nitrogen and build it into a... weather machine.
[the severity in his voice builds]
Richard Castle: I'll make it rain. Your friends will have to cancel their trip. You won't have to choose. And then we can take over the world!
[Throwing his head back]
Richard Castle: Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

Richard Castle: [entering the kitchen, where Alexis is sweeping up broken glass] What broke?
Alexis Castle: Stupid glass.
Richard Castle: Remind me to get smarter glasses.


"Castle: The Good, the Bad & the Baby (#6.10)" (2013)
Kate Beckett: You know, I think I'm actually gonna miss little Benny.
Richard Castle: Well, who knows? Maybe in a few Thanksgivings from now, we'll have a couple of Bennies of our own running around.
Alexis Castle: Hey, if you guys have kids in a few years, and I have kids in a few years, they can grow up together.
Richard Castle: And it's ruined.

Alexis Castle: [coming home to find Caskett conked out on the couch and Martha nursing Cosmo] How long have I been gone?


"Castle: Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind (#3.9)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: [Ashley's parents want to meet Castle and Martha] The two of them are serious people, dad. You may need to be more... buttoned up.
Richard Castle: I can be buttoned up. And if I become unbuttoned, you can discretely let me know with a brutal kick to the shin.

Alexis Castle: [ending a phone call with Ashley] Sorry, we were talking about the hiking trip next Saturday.
Richard Castle: Oh, has Ashley got the all-clear from his parents to come with us?
Alexis Castle: They say they want to meet you first.
Richard Castle: Ah, they want to vet me. To make sure, if there's some kind of rock slide, that I won't leave their boy stranded on a mountainside, having to gnaw off his own arm to survive.
Alexis Castle: So you'll do it?
Richard Castle: We'll have them over for dinner. We'll schmooze and impress them.
Martha Rodgers: Would you like me to cook something?
Richard Castle: No, we want to impress them.
Martha Rodgers: And what is that supposed to mean?


"Castle: The Fast and the Furriest (#5.20)" (2013)
Richard Castle: [Opens the fridge] Where'd it go?
Martha Rodgers: Where'd what go, darling?
Richard Castle: My leftovers from Le Cirque. They were right here in this hole in the fridge is. I was going to use that Chateaubriand for my morning scramble.
Martha Rodgers: Well I certainly didn't eat them. I wouldn't look this good if I was pigging out on leftovers.
Richard Castle: Yes, well, this isn't the first time this has happened. Food has been going missing for the past month. It's not just leftovers, either. It was the peanut butter, uh... artichokes, a whole quart of Mulligatawny soup, gone.
Martha Rodgers: Well, maybe you've been sleep eating... again.
Richard Castle: Again? I've never sleep ated - sleep ate - eaten.
[Gets a look]
Richard Castle: Have I?
Alexis Castle: [Coming downstairs] Hey, I'm off to class.
Richard Castle: Hey. How did you like that Chateaubriand? Wasn't that a wonderful white wine reduction?
Alexis Castle: What Chateaubriand?
Richard Castle: All right. It's the housekeeper. I knew it. She has been putting on weight.
Martha Rodgers: Sorry, darling. She hasn't been here for three days.
Alexis Castle: Maybe there are tiny borrowers living under the floorboards who come out at night to steal your food.
Richard Castle: Not realistic. They're too small to get the fridge door open.

Richard Castle: Alexis, why were you stealing food?
Alexis Castle: Because I ran out of money.
Richard Castle: How could you have possibly spent all your money, unless... wait, no, are you... are... are you in some kind of trouble?
Alexis Castle: I didn't spend it, I gave it away. Invested it, really.
Richard Castle: Invested in what?
Alexis Castle: My friend Jonah at school has a crowd funding campaign to plant bamboo forests on the roof of skyscrapers to help clean the air.
Richard Castle: Well, why didn't you just come to me?
Alexis Castle: 'Cause I didn't want the speech.
Richard Castle: I don't... what speech?
Alexis Castle: That "people like us need to be careful with the kind of money we have. People might try to take advantage."
Richard Castle: Oh, that speech. Yeah.
Alexis Castle: Dad, you believe in all these unbelievable things, like Bigfoot. And I don't judge, but... I believe in people, and what they can accomplish. I believe in Jonah and his vision, and I wanted to support him. I think he could make a real difference in the world. And, okay, so maybe it was stupid to give him all of my allowance, but I am not the first person to do something stupid for something they believe in.
Richard Castle: No. No, you're not. Matter of fact, it's a... bit of a family trait.


"Castle: A Deadly Affair (#3.1)" (2010)
Richard Castle: Maybe you should get a new boyfriend and start over.
Alexis Castle: You're not very good at this, are you?
Richard Castle: Apparently not.

Martha Rodgers: Darling, hello! Oh, you must see this video. It's absolutely charming.
Alexis Castle: A penguin smacks another penguin into an ice hole. I'll show you.
Richard Castle: Uhh... maybe later.
Martha Rodgers: Ooh, you look as if someone smacked you into an ice hole.
Richard Castle: I stopped by the precinct.
Alexis Castle: I thought you weren't going back 'till after the book tour.
Richard Castle: Yeah, well, fate intervened. Someone I know was murdered today.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, Lord.
Alexis Castle: Dad, that's awful. Who?
Richard Castle: Maya? The woman who made that sculpture for me?
Alexis Castle: Any leads?
Richard Castle: No, not yet.
Martha Rodgers: So, how is everyone? Beckett have a nice summer?
Richard Castle: [flatly] Yeah, everyone's fine.
Martha Rodgers: Now, why don't I believe you?


"Castle: Castle, P.I. (#7.11)" (2015)
Richard Castle: I know our victim took a trip to Radnor University; I just have no idea why. I hacked into her social media accounts...
Alexis Castle: Wait, you know how to hack into social media accounts?
Richard Castle: "Hacking" might be overstating it. Her password for everything is "Sparkles", her dog's name. Point is without police resources, the best I can do is go through her friend's online posts and look for some connections to Radnor University.
Alexis Castle: Are there any?
Richard Castle: There's one thing, but it happened fifteen years ago. I have no idea if it's even relevant. I just wish I knew what Beckett had.
[his land line rings]
Richard Castle: Richard Castle Investigations.
Kate Beckett: Hey, babe, just checking in. Whatcha doing?
Richard Castle: Oh, just hanging out at the office. How about you?
Kevin Ryan: [with Beckett and Espo at the precinct] He has an office?
[Ryan gets death stares; Castle and Alexis share a look of curiosity]
Kate Beckett: Uh, just wondering how your day's going.
Richard Castle: Good. Really good, actually. How about yours?
Kate Beckett: Yeah, mine's good, too. Uh, really, really good.
Richard Castle: That's good. Great. I should have said great. Mine's great.
[the conversation suddenly takes on an awkward air]
Kate Beckett: Great. That's...
Richard Castle: Okay. So... I'll see you tonight.
Kate Beckett: Uh... see you tonight.
[she hangs up]
Kate Beckett: He knows something.
Alexis Castle: She has something.
Javier Esposito: And you have to find out what.
Richard Castle: And I'm gonna find out what.

Alexis Castle: I thought you became a P.I. to work with Beckett. When did it become a competition?
Richard Castle: When she took something beautiful that we built together and shared it with another man.
Alexis Castle: [thinking he means Beckett is cheating on him] What?
Richard Castle: Investigatively speaking.


"Castle: Love Me Dead (#2.9)" (2009)
Richard Castle: [after Alexis runs in and hugs her Dad, Castle says] What was that for?
Alexis Castle: For being the best Dad ever.
Richard Castle: It's true, you know. I have the novelty mug to prove it.

Richard Castle: You know, sweetheart, if you don't want to tell me what you talked about with Beckett, you don't have to.
Alexis Castle: Okay. Thanks, dad.
Martha Rodgers: What is the matter with you? Why didn't you just ask her?
Richard Castle: Because that would be prying. And cool dads don't do that. They go behind their daughter's back and they beg Beckett to tell them.


"Castle: Tone Death (#8.9)" (2016)
Richard Castle: We know that Robyn was meeting with her new crew twice a week in Spanish Harlem. And I think these smybols on her phone have something to do with her next meeting.
Alexis Castle: So what's the problem?
Richard Castle: I don't speak emoji.

Alexis Castle: [finding a lead with Castle and Martha] Shouldn't we call the cops?
Martha Rodgers: Yeah, that's a kind of dangerous neighborhood.
Richard Castle: Ladies, with all the gentrification going on, there's no such thing as bad riverfront property.
[cut to a shabby, empty building]
Richard Castle: Okay. Maybe I was wrong. Watch your step. Maybe we should be texting Espo and Ryan.
Alexis Castle: I already called them. They're on their way.
Richard Castle: I don't know whether to be happy or hurt by your lack of faith in me.


"Castle: And Justice for All (#8.13)" (2016)
Richard Castle: [entering his P.I. office] Your fearless leader is here.
Alexis Castle: [handing him a stack of folders] Oh, yay. Now go file these.

Richard Castle: I didn't open this place to make money. I opened it for the exciting cases, you know? The double-crossing dame, the stolen relic, a locked room mystery.
Alexis Castle: Dad, you're just naming plots from 1940s gumshoe novels. Speaking of, aren't you supposed to be writing your next Nikki Heat book?
Richard Castle: Would if I could. Come on, guys, let's just ditch this corporate nonsense and find a case worthy of investigating, you know, with mysteries, with bold characters, and twists and turns and...
[glancing at the television, he sees a news report of the murder at the zoo]
Richard Castle: [without missing a beat] ... murdered man ends up in a pit of deadly snakes? Now, that... now that is a case worth investigating.


"Castle: PhDead (#8.3)" (2015)
Richard Castle: Good morning, my lovelies. Isn't it great to be alive?
Martha Rodgers: Richard, are you feeling okay?
Richard Castle: Never better. Because I know how to win Beckett back.
Alexis Castle: Is she wanting to be won back?
Richard Castle: When we first met, it was my roguish charm that caused Beckett to drop her guard, but it was my Sherlockian skills that made her fall in love with me. I just have to solve a few cases with her to show her that together, we are still magic.

Javier Esposito: [entering an apartment the victim was leasing] I thought Peter was majoring in marketing, not medieval torture.
Alexis Castle: This stuff isn't for torture. It's a BDSM dungeon.
[Castle gives her a look wondering how she knows that]
Alexis Castle: What? I read "Fifty Shades". And clearly so had Peter.


"Castle: 3XK (#3.6)" (2010)
[first lines]
Alexis Castle: What about Ashley? I mean, shouldn't I tell him?
Martha Rodgers: Darling, in matters of the heart, it's best not to overthink things.
Richard Castle: That's your advice, mother? With your track record? What chasm of doom has she led you to by way of her tips on romance?
Martha Rodgers: As it happens, we were discussing secret admirer etiquette.
Richard Castle: You have a secret admirer?
Alexis Castle: I always thought it was silly, but now I'm kind of intrigued.

Richard Castle: [Alexis is trying to deduce the identity of her secret admirer] What are you doing?
Alexis Castle: Narrowing down suspects.
Richard Castle: No, you can't do that. No, you... no, that'll ruin the secret. No, it's like a mystery novel. You don't just go to the last page, do you?
Alexis Castle: Yes.
Richard Castle: You do?
[Alexis shrugs innocently]
Richard Castle: Well, you shouldn't. It's not... you can't... the... the... joy doesn't come in knowing who did it. The joy comes in the journey, and allowing the ending to... blossom, like some magnificent Himalayan blue poppy.
Alexis Castle: Okay. Okay, I'll let him stay secret.
Richard Castle: Mark my words. You'll thank me.


"Castle: Hunt (#5.16)" (2013)
Gregory Volkov: You are like your father, Mr. Castle. Getting involved where you don't belong. Did he really think I would not be prepared for an attack?
Alexis Castle: Dad, what's he talking about?
Gregory Volkov: Tell her. Go on, tell her why she's here.
Richard Castle: You have me now. She's of no use to you. Let her go.
Gregory Volkov: When a man doubles his wealth, why should he give half of it away?

Alexis Castle: I know we're not supposed to talk about what really happened. Thank you, for everything.
Richard Castle: [hugging her] Hey, it's what fathers do.


"Castle: Bad Santa (#7.10)" (2014)
[first lines]
Richard Castle: All right, ladies of the Castle household, just a reminder that your portion for the holiday poem is due in less than... seventy-two hours.
[Beckett is freaked out a little]
Alexis Castle: I just have to do a polish.
Richard Castle: I can't wait to see it.
[turning to Beckett]
Richard Castle: How's yours coming along? Are you ready for your big debut in the Castle family Christmas card?
Kate Beckett: [covering] Yeah! Absolutely.

Kate Beckett: You guys, I completely forgot. He said that it wasn't a big deal, but I think it actually kind of is.
Alexis Castle: It's a very big deal. We even get a little competitive.
Martha Rodgers: I started working on mine in July.
[Beckett's mind is blown]
Alexis Castle: Welcome to the family.
Martha Rodgers: [snickering] Yeah.
Kate Beckett: So, what do I have to do again?
Alexis Castle: Write six funny, poignant, and eloquent lines describing highlights of the past year, for you.
Kate Beckett: [slightly relieved] Oh, yeah.
Alexis Castle: And they must rhyme.
Martha Rodgers: Yeah.
Kate Beckett: [worried again] What word rhymes with "I'm screwed"?


"Castle: A Death in the Family (#1.10)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: [Alexis discussing her 15 year old boyfriend] Dad, all we've done is hold hands.
Richard Castle: Ew, okay, please. Don't need details.

Alexis Castle: [Alexis coming down the stairs to meet her Jr. Prom date and upon seeing her Dad waiting for her date] Dad! No! No severed heads.
Richard Castle: [Castle wearing a bloody lab coat and carrying a severed head] That's... I... It's time honored.


"Castle: Limelight (#6.13)" (2014)
Alexis Castle: Hey, can you believe that about Mandy Sutton? It's weird, right?
Richard Castle: Yes, weird.
Alexis Castle: Remember how much I loved her show? And those secret identity glasses? If you were mad at me, I'd wear a pair of glasses to dinner, and you'd pretend like you didn't know who I was?
Richard Castle: I remember. Actually...
Alexis Castle: But then she grew up and, whoa! I mean, how does that happen? This woman becoming such a hot mess?
[Castle bites his tongue nervously, and Mandy takes off her the hood of her jacket]
Alexis Castle: [mortified] Oh, my god. I thought you were...
Mandy Sutton: Yeah.
Richard Castle: Alexis... this is Mandy. We're just, uh, keeping her under wraps, for now. This is my daughter.
Mandy Sutton: Hmm.
Alexis Castle: [awkwardly] It's nice to meet you.

Alexis Castle: Look, I'm sorry about that whole "hot mess" thing I said before.
Mandy Sutton: Sorry that you said it or sorry that I heard it?
Alexis Castle: [turning to leave] I should probably go.
Mandy Sutton: It happens when you're not looking.
Alexis Castle: [turning back] Excuse me?
Mandy Sutton: Before, you asked how it happens; how someone becomes like me. It happens when you're not looking, and by the time you realize it, it's already who you are. Like the car crash on the side of the road everybody stops and... and watches.
Alexis Castle: That doesn't mean it's who you have to be. You can always change.
Mandy Sutton: Turns out I don't do change so well. But you steal a police car and you set it on fire? I'm your girl. Or if you find the greatest guy in the world, fall madly in love, and then mess it up by hooking up with my dirtbag ex? That I can do.
Alexis Castle: Yeah, I saw that picture online.
Mandy Sutton: You and the rest of the world.
Alexis Castle: Maybe if you didn't drink.
Mandy Sutton: If I don't drink, then I start to feel. And I don't like what I feel.


"Castle: Punked (#3.4)" (2010)
Richard Castle: I have delicately placed one graham cracker, exactly six marshmallows atop a perfectly melted chocolate bar.
Martha Rodgers: In an omelet, darling. Really?
Richard Castle: Not an omelet. A s'morelet.
Martha Rodgers: Uh-huh.
Richard Castle: Care for one?
Martha Rodgers: No, thank you.
Richard Castle: [to Alexis] What about you, sweetheart? Are you ready for your taste buds to be launched to breakfast nirvana?
Alexis Castle: Sure, thanks. Oh, is it okay if my friend Ashley comes over tonight?
Richard Castle: Yes, of course. Now eat.
Alexis Castle: [taking a bite, gagging, and spitting the bite out] Dad! Are there marshmallows in this?
Richard Castle: Yes.
Alexis Castle: And chocolate.
Richard Castle: Yes. That's the point; it's a s'morelet.
Alexis Castle: Uh... I gotta go. Love you. Love you.
Martha Rodgers: Bye, honey.
[Alexis hurries away from the counter]
Richard Castle: [chewing his own bite of food] Mmm! This is almost as good as my chocolate mousse chimichanga.
[Alexis returns to pick up her school bag]
Richard Castle: Aha, I knew you'd reconsider. It's like David Hasselhoff; first you're repulsed, but then, strangely, you're drawn in.
Alexis Castle: [heading to the door] No, still repulsed. Bye.


"Castle: Law & Boarder (#6.21)" (2014)
[first lines]
Richard Castle: H-O-I-V-L. "Hoilv". "Vlohi". Hovil! No, that's not a word, either.
Kate Beckett: Did you seriously stay up staring at this Scrabble board all night instead of going to bed?
Richard Castle: With these five remaining tiles, I have to craft a word scoring nine points. Then I turn defeat into victory.
Alexis Castle: [coming downstairs] Oh, my gosh. Did you really beat dad at Scrabble?
Richard Castle: I concede nothing. Except that I need more coffee.
Martha Rodgers: That is quite an accomplishment, young lady. Nobody beats him, ever.
Kate Beckett: Oh, yeah, he's mentioned that. Repeatedly.
Martha Rodgers: Ah, how the mighty have fallen.
Richard Castle: "Richard Castle, one word short." I cannot allow this to be my epitaph.
[Alexis and Beckett fist bump]
Richard Castle: I saw that.


"Castle: The Final Nail (#3.15)" (2011)
Alexis Castle: What's in the box?
Richard Castle: This is Philip Westlake's murder file. I told Beckett I'm gonna solve the case.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, Richard!
Richard Castle: Well, you're the one who told me to follow my heart.
Martha Rodgers: Yes, but, you know...
Alexis Castle: Dad, that case is older than me.
Richard Castle: This doesn't sound like encouragement.


"Castle: The Time of Our Lives (#7.6)" (2014)
Richard Castle: What happened between us? Why did you move to LA?
Alexis Castle: You know why.
Richard Castle: Tell me again.
Alexis Castle: Because you gave up. You read all those terrible reviews on your magnum opus, and you couldn't move past it, and I couldn't stick around and watch. But you know what? Now I think I understand it.
Richard Castle: What do you mean?
Alexis Castle: I had all these plans, you know? To change the world. But this non-profit I'm working for... everything we do seems so small and pointless. It's like nothing I do matters, so why try?
Richard Castle: Sweetie, no, uh... Everything you do matters. Every moment, every decision you make, it effects the people around you, it changes the world in a million imperceptible ways. No matter what your reality, you can make it better. We both can.
Alexis Castle: I've missed you dad.


"Castle: A Rose for Everafter (#2.12)" (2010)
Martha Rodgers: What on earth are you two doing?
Richard Castle: Research.
Alexis Castle: Dad has Nikki Heat duct-taped to a chair in his next chapter, and he doesn't know how to get her out of it.
Richard Castle: I thought what better way to figure it out than to get into the mind of my character?
Martha Rodgers: I don't know, I suppose you could just... use your imagination.
Richard Castle: I want it to be authentic. Hands.
Martha Rodgers: [Alexis continues to duct tape him] Well, hurry taping up your father. We don't want to be late. Oh, god, I can't believe I just said that.
Richard Castle: Where are you two off to?
Alexis Castle: Gram's got a dress rehearsal, and I thought I'd go watch.
Martha Rodgers: Watch me, or watch the adorable delivery boy in the second act?
[Alexis shrugs innocently]


"Castle: He's Dead, She's Dead (#3.2)" (2010)
Martha Rodgers: [Martha can't decide whether or not to break up with her boyfriend] Love is not about work. Trust me, it's about passion, it's about chemistry, romance.
Richard Castle: It's about your heart pounding faster because you can't wait to see her.
Alexis Castle: Can either of you look back on a relationship that ended because the thrill was gone and admit that maybe you gave up on love too soon? Dad, you're back with your ex-wife.
Richard Castle: Ooh. No, she's right. Yeah, with Gina, the thrill was long, long gone. Now it is back, with a vengeance. Of course, it brought along its friends high maintenance and shopoholic.


"Castle: Target (#5.15)" (2013)
Sara El-Masri: [Alexis is trying to pick a lock] It's been hours now.
Alexis Castle: My dad taught me how to do this when he was researching for one of his books. He actually bought a door for us to practice on.
Sara El-Masri: This was recently?
Alexis Castle: I was ten.


"Castle: Mr. & Mrs. Castle (#8.8)" (2015)
Richard Castle: Ah, my two favorite redheads. And what are you doing here?
Alexis Castle: We wanted to know how your anniversary went.
Martha Rodgers: And we came prepared either way.
[she holds up a box of tissues]
Martha Rodgers: Tears, or...
[she holds up a bottle of champagne]
Martha Rodgers: ...cheers. Which one is it, kiddo?
[Castle makes to take the box of tissues, but instead takes the champagne]
Richard Castle: Guys, it was great. And when I say "great", I mean after the last few weeks, it was *great*.
Alexis Castle: Does this mean you and Beckett are back together?
Richard Castle: Uh... well, no, this means, uh... we're making progress. And I'm gonna, you know, keep the mojo going by wriggling my way into her homicide cases.


"Castle: The Nose (#8.5)" (2015)
Martha Rodgers: Hello, darling.
Richard Castle: Lucy should have told me we had company.
[Lucy: That costs extra]
Martha Rodgers: Well, according to your... little mechanical friend here, you have been drowning your sorrows in frozen pizza, online shopping...
Alexis Castle: And Dolph Lundgren marathons.
Richard Castle: Et tu, Lucy? Is nothing private?
[Lucy: Not without the proper setting]
Martha Rodgers: [gesturing to the wine bottles Castle brought in] Darling, I... I mean, I know it's difficult for you without Katherine, but really? Is... isn't it a little early in the day for this?
Richard Castle: These are for Ryan and Esposito. They get the results of their sergeant's exams today, so I thought I'd drop down to the precinct, surprise them a little later on.
Alexis Castle: And if Beckett happens to be there?
Richard Castle: All the more reason to celebrate.


"Castle: Resurrection (#7.14)" (2015)
Richard Castle: Where are you off to?
Alexis Castle: Oh, I signed up for an escort service. I have to meet a client.
Richard Castle: What? On a what?
Alexis Castle: [snickers] I just wanted to see if you were listening. I am going to the library to study.
Richard Castle: Not cool.
[Alexis kisses her father on the cheek]
Alexis Castle: Bye, Kate.
[Alexis kisses Beckett, too]
Kate Beckett: Oh, bye, bud.
Richard Castle: [Alexis leaves] A goodbye kiss? When did that start?
Kate Beckett: Just now. Hey, no, I'm as surprised as you are.
Richard Castle: Well, I don't know that I'm surprised. I mean, you are pretty lovable.
Kate Beckett: Well, you raised a great person, so...
Richard Castle: Hmm. You say that now. You weren't here for the beginning.


"Castle: Head Case (#4.3)" (2011)
[Alexis is dejected after being denied admission to Stanford]
Alexis Castle: How do you do it, dad?
Richard Castle: Do what?
Alexis Castle: Well, that letter that you have framed in your office.
Richard Castle: [reminiscently] My first manuscript rejection.
Alexis Castle: Yeah. How can you stand having it there?
Richard Castle: Because it drives me. And I got twenty more of those before Black Pawn ever agreed to publish "In a Hail of Bullets". That letter... that letter reminds me of what I've overcome. Rejection isn't failure.
Alexis Castle: It sure feels like failure.
Richard Castle: No, failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected. It's how you handle it that determines where you'll end up.
Alexis Castle: My whole life has been about making sure I could get into any college I wanted. What's it about now?
Richard Castle: Give it time. You'll figure it out.


"Castle: Headhunters (#4.21)" (2012)
Richard Castle: [in a deep sleep, Castle is jerked awake by Alexis' shrieks of joy] What happened?
Alexis Castle: Dad, I got in! I... I got in!
Richard Castle: Oh. Where?
Martha Rodgers: Almost everywhere so far.
Alexis Castle: Oxford, Princeton, Sarah Lawrence.
Richard Castle: That's great, honey. I... I... I knew it would work out.
Alexis Castle: Really?
Richard Castle: Yeah.
Alexis Castle: Then why were you hiding the letters from me?
Richard Castle: What?
Alexis Castle: Come on, dad. I can read a postmark. Some of these came last week.
Richard Castle: [she thumps him on the head] Ohh. I just... I'm sorry. Honey, I... I'm just trying to protect you.
Alexis Castle: I'm eighteen now. You need to trust that I can take care of my...
[trailing off as she reads one of her acceptance letters]
Alexis Castle: Myself.
Richard Castle: What?
Alexis Castle: I got into Stanford.
Martha Rodgers: Yes! Oh, great! That's always been your first choice, right?
Richard Castle: And yet I sense trouble.
Alexis Castle: I... I don't know. I mean, I should be happy, but after they shot me down for early admission...
Richard Castle: They rejected you, and you feel betrayed.
Alexis Castle: How am I supposed to get over that?


"Castle: Heartbreaker (#8.16)" (2016)
Martha Rodgers: I have to say, Katherine, it is so good to have you home.
Kate Beckett: Thank you.
Alexis Castle: I second that motion.
Kate Beckett: Oh, thank you.
[the screeching violin of the "Psycho" theme suddenly blares]
Kate Beckett: Lucy! What the hell? Turn it off!
Lucy: [the music stops] Whoa. Language, Kate. Is there a problem?
Kate Beckett: Oh, really? Well, then, let me make it up to you.
Martha Rodgers: [Kate picks Lucy up and sticks her into the refrigerator] Isn't that a little extreme?
Kate Beckett: No. No, actually, I-I-I don't think so. Look, uh, this... this might sound odd, but ever since I got back, it's like Lucy's been jealous.
Alexis Castle: She's an "it". A CPU wrapped in a plastic pyramid. She doesn't have emotions, and she certainly can't be jealous.
Kate Beckett: [the electricity inexplicably goes out] You were saying?


"Castle: A Deadly Game (#2.24)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: I know we had plans, but they really...
Richard Castle: Not just plans. Memorial Day, the Hamptons, our annual kick off the summer week. I mean... I got the illegal fireworks. The kind you like, the ones with the silver starburst.
Alexis Castle: Dad, it's Princeton.
Richard Castle: Can't believe you would blow off illegal fireworks for a lousy head start at a top-notch education.


"Castle: The Squab and the Quail (#5.21)" (2013)
Alexis Castle: [Castle is roughly slicing up an apple] Okay, dad, the box said something about a "soothing infusion of calming herbs". Anyway, it's a calm tea, and you need to calm down.
Richard Castle: How am I supposed to calm down? It's Eric Vaughn.
Alexis Castle: Dad, Beckett is over the moon for you, so give her a little credit, huh? It's no different than when she was protecting Senator Bracken.
Richard Castle: Yeah, you're right. Oh, except for the fact that when it was Bracken, they weren't having a slumber party at a fancy hotel. And let's face it, compared to Bracken, Vaughn is like George Clooney.
Martha Rodgers: [approaching] Oh, no, Eric Vaughn is way sexier than Clooney.
[seeing Castle's expression and Alexis shaking her off]
Martha Rodgers: What? He is.
Richard Castle: Yes, and Beckett is protecting him at the Fairwick as we speak.
Martha Rodgers: Oops.
Alexis Castle: I was just reminding dad that Beckett is a professional, and totally committed to their relationship.
Martha Rodgers: Eh... well, not totally committed.
Richard Castle: What do you mean?
Martha Rodgers: Well, there isn't a ring on finger, is there?
Richard Castle: I...
Martha Rodgers: Technically, she's not really committed at all. Ta.
Richard Castle: [as his mother leaves, he picks up his coffee mug] I'm gonna need more of that tea.


"Castle: Little Girl Lost (#1.9)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: Hey.
Richard Castle: Hey. What are you doing up? Stressed about finals?
Alexis Castle: American Lit's today. I was having nightmares about Hester Prynne.
Richard Castle: Ah. The irony for you is *not* getting an "A" would cause you shame.
Alexis Castle: So why are you up?
Richard Castle: Looking for a white rabbit.
Alexis Castle: Lewis Carroll or The Matrix?
Richard Castle: I'm not sure yet.
Alexis Castle: What did Beckett tell you about taking phone photos of the crime scene?
Richard Castle: I don't know. I wasn't listening.


"Castle: 47 Seconds (#4.19)" (2012)
Richard Castle: You're a pretty smart kid, you know that?
Alexis Castle: Well, they say that genius skips a generation.
Richard Castle: Apparently so does funny.


"Castle: Witness for the Prosecution (#8.10)" (2016)
Richard Castle: Nina's back was to me. I didn't actually see the death blow. I... you got to believe me, you guys. I-it really looked like she did it.
Martha Rodgers: Mm-hmm. Well, I believe you. It's just, honestly, it sounds to me like Nina killed her.
Alexis Castle: Me, too.
Richard Castle: I have to find out for sure.
Alexis Castle: Dad, there's no way to do that.
Richard Castle: I know.
[getting an idea]
Richard Castle: Or is there? I've got it. And I'd only have to do two things. One, delay the trial so I have a chance to investigate, and two, have a one-on-one conversation with Nina.
Alexis Castle: Uh, Nina's lawyer will never allow it.
Richard Castle: Which is why I'm going to have to be very clever with how I go about this.
Martha Rodgers: I take it you have a plan.
Richard Castle: You know I do, mother.
Martha Rodgers: Might I ask you what it is?
Richard Castle: I'm gonna get thrown in jail.


"Castle: Get a Clue (#6.6)" (2013)
[last lines]
Alexis Castle: Do you know how I found out you'd proposed to Beckett? Over the phone with Gram, while I was in Costa Rica.
Richard Castle: This is about Beckett?
Alexis Castle: No. But I was hurt you didn't tell me.
Richard Castle: Look, I was going to tell you, but it just... it just happened.
Alexis Castle: I know it did. And... I don't know if it's a good idea, or if she's really the one, but you know what? I accept it. You know why? Because she makes you happy. The same way Pi makes me happy. All I want is the same thing I'm giving to you. Acceptance.
Richard Castle: Okay, then. I accept him.
Alexis Castle: No you don't. Because it's not about what you say, it's what's inside. I know what's there now, and I don't want Pi to feel that from you. And I don't want to feel that, either.
Richard Castle: Okay. I'll work on it. I will. Meantime, how about we go out for some makeup ice cream, okay? My treat.
Alexis Castle: No. I need time to stop being mad. And you need time to figure out a way to be okay with this. I'll see you later, dad.
[Alexis sadly, but firmly, shuts the door in her father's face]


"Castle: An Embarrassment of Bitches (#4.13)" (2012)
Richard Castle: You have a friend named Buttons? A human friend?
Alexis Castle: Her mom called her that when she was little, and it stuck.
Richard Castle: [snorting with laughter] And now so is she.
Alexis Castle: Buttons and I bonded over being rejected from Stanford. In fact, we applied to a lot of the same schools, so we were planning to visit a few campuses together this weekend. Make a road trip out of it.
Martha Rodgers: Ah!
Richard Castle: Whoa. Okay, whoa. Where are you staying? Who's driving? And who is chaperoning?
Alexis Castle: [innocently] We were going to take your Ferrari and hook up with some boys we met on Craigslist.
[Alexis throws her father a look to show she's being sarcastic]
Richard Castle: Not cool.
Martha Rodgers: Honey, don't be such a killjoy. I'm sure Buttons' mother is going along.
Alexis Castle: She is. And she's very responsible.
Richard Castle: Yeah, except for when it comes to picking nicknames.
Alexis Castle: Look, if you want, I could have Mrs. Dutton stop by to meet you when she picks me up.
Richard Castle: Yeah, I think that'd be o... her last name is Dutton? Your friend's name is Buttons Dutton?
Martha Rodgers: That is unfortunate.
Alexis Castle: What's so wrong with that?
Richard Castle: Oh, come on. It'd be like calling me Rassle, or Tassel, or No Hassle Castle.
[answering a call from Beckett]
Richard Castle: Hey. No, I was just making a point.
[Castle turns away from Martha and Alexis and lowers his voice]
Richard Castle: Please don't call me that.


"Castle: Countdown (#3.17)" (2011)
Richard Castle: I need you girls to do something for me, but I don't want you to ask any questions. I want you to go to the Hamptons. I want you to stay there for the weekend.
Martha Rodgers: Richard, what is this about?
Richard Castle: Did you not... that's a question. Look, there might be, um... an event that would make it very dangerous to stay in the city.
[Alexis starts dialing her phone]
Richard Castle: What are you doing?
Alexis Castle: Calling Ashley.
Richard Castle: No, no, no, no. You can't tell anybody. Okay? You can't tell anybody. You tell Ashley, he'll tell his parents, they'll call someone they love, and a panic will make this thing a thousand times harder to stop.
Alexis Castle: Dad, he's my boyfriend.
Richard Castle: I know.
Alexis Castle: This isn't fair. You can't...
Richard Castle: Fair has nothing to do with it. I need to you go. Now.
Martha Rodgers: But you'll come, too?
Richard Castle: I will when I can. But I need you to go. Now.


"Castle: Probable Cause (#5.5)" (2012)
Richard Castle: [surprised to see Alexis at the loft] What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming 'till next weekend.
Alexis Castle: I had to do laundry. I ran out of clothes.
Richard Castle: [he kisses her on the cheek] Already? It's only been two weeks. Not that I'm not thrilled to see you. But don't they have washing machines on campus?
Alexis Castle: [shrugs] They're not as nice.
Richard Castle: And by "nice", you mean "free".
Alexis Castle: Pretty much.


"Castle: Driven (#7.1)" (2014)
Kate Beckett: Was he going through anything that I didn't know about?
Martha Rodgers: Like what?
Kate Beckett: Pressure that he was under that he kept to himself.
Alexis Castle: Of course not. Right, Gram?
Martha Rodgers: No, no, no, no. I would've noticed.
Kate Beckett: And what about the wedding? Did he have any misgivings?
Martha Rodgers: Misgivings? Katherine. That was the farthest thing from his mind. He couldn't wait to be married to you.
Alexis Castle: You don't think he'd just walk away, do you?
Kate Beckett: No.
Martha Rodgers: Then what's going on here?
Kate Beckett: I don't know. But there's got to be another explanation.


"Castle: The Last Seduction (#8.7)" (2015)
Javier Esposito: George Keller.
Alexis Castle: According to Lindsey's log book, he is the last person billed for Scott's services.
Kevin Ryan: Is he connected to Keller Toys?
Richard Castle: He's the president of the entire Keller empire. Toys, video games, books, educational videos, you name it. It's a multi-billion dollar company.
Alexis Castle: And a brand synonymous with family values, which is ironic since he's a renowned playboy, already on wife number three.
Richard Castle: You say that like it's a bad thing.


"Castle: Den of Thieves (#2.21)" (2010)
Martha Rodgers: [entering the loft] Hello, darlings. Oh, what's all this?
Alexis Castle: Dad's teaching me the basics of no-limit Texas hold 'em.
Martha Rodgers: I'm shocked. Shocked there's gambling in here. Deal me in.


"Castle: Slice of Death (#3.20)" (2011)
Richard Castle: [coming home to find Martha comforting Alexis] What happened?
Martha Rodgers: Alexis decided to crash Lauren's party, against our better judgment.
Richard Castle: And I take it that the, uh, party crashing didn't go so well?
Alexis Castle: None of this would have happened if Lauren wasn't the most conniving bitch in the entire world.
Richard Castle: Whoa!
Martha Rodgers: [waving it off] It's warranted.
Alexis Castle: When the band was performing, Lauren brought Ashley up on stage with her, and she kissed him. In front of everyone!
Richard Castle: [shocked] Bitch!


"Castle: The Mistress Always Spanks Twice (#2.16)" (2010)
Richard Castle: [seeing Alexis dancing in the living room] Why are you so Beyonce this morning? You got a school dance coming up?
Alexis Castle: No. Ashley gave me some of her cheer routine. She's been on the JV for two years and she wants me to try out for the squad.
Richard Castle: Cheerleading?
Alexis Castle: Yeah. Why?
Richard Castle: Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?
Alexis Castle: What's wrong with cheerleading?
Richard Castle: No, no, nothing's... nothing's... I'm just... I didn't know you wanted to be one.
Alexis Castle: Me, either. But I watched Ashley practice and it looks like fun. And my college counselor, Ms. Schaefer, said I need to consider diversifying my activities. I figure I'm a natural because I root for you all the time.


"Castle: Cool Boys (#8.6)" (2015)
Alexis Castle: DEFCON 1. Slaughter is here.
Richard Castle: Here? Like right behind the door here?
Alexis Castle: Yeah.
Richard Castle: What does he want?
Alexis Castle: I don't know. He just said he was an old friend.
Richard Castle: That can't be good.
Martha Rodgers: Is that the old friend who almost got you killed a few years ago?
Richard Castle: Yeah, like six times.


"Castle: Home Is Where the Heart Stops (#1.7)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: Dad, who's Powell?
Richard Castle: You remember that character of mine, um, Bentley Silver?
Alexis Castle: The jewel thief in "Storm Rising"?
Richard Castle: Yeah, I kind of based him on Powell.
Martha Rodgers: "Kind of"? You stole the man's entire life. And then your father, genius that he is, thanked him in the acknowledgements, completely blowing his cover.
Richard Castle: Yeah, he can't still be mad. I'm gonna go see him.


"Castle: Cops & Robbers (#4.7)" (2011)
Alexis Castle: [searching for Alexis to call her to dinner, Castle overhears her on the phone] Ash, it's not about today. It's about the last one hundred days. You're never here for me. Just because you're in California doesn't mean I should have to hold my breath, cross my fingers, and wish upon a star just to get a text from you. Yeah, more excuses. Ash, I just can't do this anymore. We're done.
[Alexis hangs up; Castle tactfully waits a moment before knocking on the door]
Richard Castle: You okay?
Alexis Castle: No. But ask me again tomorrow.


"Castle: After the Storm (#5.1)" (2012)
[Castle is trying to stall Martha and Alexis so Beckett can sneak out of the loft]
Richard Castle: Alexis, are you hung over?
Martha Rodgers: Well, the graduation festivities got a tad out of hand, and Alexis called me from the party, I drove into town, I picked her up. So please don't get angry, darling.
Richard Castle: Well, why didn't you call me?
Alexis Castle: I tried. You didn't pick up.
Richard Castle: [remembering the night before] Oh. Right. Then that's on me. That's my bad.
[as Castle talks, Beckett sneaks out of the bedroom; reaching the front door, she realizes she forgot her bra and sneaks back to retrieve it]
Richard Castle: Well, Alexis, as your father, I have to say that I am deeply disappointed in you, and yet oddly proud.
Alexis Castle: [groaning] My head is pounding.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, honey, I'll get you a couple of aspirin.
[Beckett sneaks back out of the bedroom as Martha starts to turn around]
Richard Castle: [grabbing Martha's arm] No, no, no! Don't.
Martha Rodgers: AHH! Ooh.
Richard Castle: No aspirin.
Martha Rodgers: What do you mean? Why not?
Richard Castle: [as he talks, Beckett sneaks out of the apartment] It's her first hangover. I mean, this is a milestone. It's a rite of passage. Don't you want to experience this in its fullness? Untrammeled by the relief of over the counter pain medications?
Alexis Castle: No.
Richard Castle: No, okay. Aspirin it is, sweetheart. I'm sorry.


"Castle: Sleeper (#7.20)" (2015)
Alexis Castle: What really went on in Thailand, dad? I know you must have a theory.
Richard Castle: Uh... believe me, I have dozens.
Alexis Castle: Which one scares you the most?
[Castle gives her a look]
Alexis Castle: I don't need you to protect me. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not afraid to hear the truth.
Richard Castle: That's right, you aren't, are you?
Alexis Castle: Why not let me in?
Richard Castle: I wanted to forget everything, so in my darkest moments, I wonder if I... did something terrible.
Alexis Castle: I know you. You would never do anything bad.
Richard Castle: I could never leave the love of my life, desert her, and you, for two months. And somehow I did.


"Castle: Knockout (#3.24)" (2011)
Alexis Castle: [entering Castle's study where he is looking at crime scene photos] Beckett's mom?
Richard Castle: Yeah.
Alexis Castle: I can't imagine what it must be like for her. Solving murders and bringing closure to all those families, but never to herself.
Richard Castle: It's easier in my books. The just are rewarded, the wicked are punished. Unfortunately, real life isn't that easy.


"Castle: Lucky Stiff (#3.14)" (2011)
Richard Castle: "Kill Me Now".
Alexis Castle: [worried] You got the cell phone bill?
Richard Castle: No, uh... books from my publisher for back cover quotes.
[pause]
Richard Castle: Wait, what about the cell phone bill?
Alexis Castle: [innocently] Nothing.


"Castle: Valkyrie (#6.1)" (2013)
Alexis Castle: Dad, Pi. Pi, dad.
Pi: Hey, Mr. C. Awesome to meet you.
Richard Castle: Pi. Like the dessert?
Pi: Without the "e". Like the Greek letter. But personally, I feel the whole spelling thing just stifles creativity.
Richard Castle: The spelling thing?
Alexis Castle: Let's let my dad decompress. Matches are in the kitchen.
Pi: Okay.
Richard Castle: [as Alexis and Pi leave] He's... he's not staying here?
Martha Rodgers: Oh, he is.
Richard Castle: Not in her room.
Martha Rodgers: Hey, you get to have that talk. I have a class. Ta ta.


"Castle: Deep in Death (#2.1)" (2009)
[last lines]
Alexis Castle: [having been stood up on a date] Why do boys do that? Why do they always have to justify everything? Why can't they just say they're sorry?
[a thought strikes Castle; standing up to leave, he stops in front of Alexis]
Richard Castle: Thank you.
[he kisses her forehead]
Alexis Castle: For what?
Richard Castle: For just... being you.
[he hugs her; fade to Beckett at the precinct; feeling someone's presence, she looks up to see Castle]
Richard Castle: I'm sorry. What I did was wrong. I violated your trust, I opened old wounds, and I did not respect your wishes. And if we're not gonna see each other again, then you deserve to know. I'm very, very sorry.
[Castle turns to leave]
Kate Beckett: Castle?
[he turns back]
Kate Beckett: I'll see you tomorrow.


"Castle: Montreal (#7.2)" (2014)
Alexis Castle: [Castle has discovered lead regarding his disappearance] So, according to the JPEG's geotag, the photo was taken here, and this is the building you were coming out of.
Kate Beckett: Montreal Global Bank.
Richard Castle: What was I doing at a bank?
Alexis Castle: Dad, the key! The one sewn into your pants when they found you. What if... the bank is where it came from?
Richard Castle: A safe deposit box.
Alexis Castle: It's the right size.
Richard Castle: We need to get up there. This is the break we've been waiting for.
Kate Beckett: Okay, fine. We'll go this weekend.
Richard Castle: We can't wait for the weekend. We gotta go now.
Kate Beckett: I'm in the middle of a case.
Richard Castle: Fine. I'll go. Montreal's a short flight, I'll be there and back in a couple of hours.
Kate Beckett: No! Not after everything we've been through. You're not going alone.
Alexis Castle: She's right, dad. You can't go by yourself. I'll go with you.
Richard Castle: Yes. Yes, she'll go with me.
Kate Beckett: We have no idea what's out there. No idea who's out there. That's too risky.
Richard Castle: It's Canada. How risky could it be? And need I remind you, I'm a grown man. I don't need to ask your permission. That being said, please, please, please can I... can I... can I go?
Kate Beckett: [giving in] Okay, fine. But only because I know you're not gonna do anything stupid if she's with you. Don't let him do anything stupid.
Alexis Castle: Promise.


"Castle: Fool Me Once... (#2.4)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: [Castle's mother taking a violin lession from Alexis' male-model-looking instructor Dylan] Aren't you worried about Dylan's intentions towards Gram?
Richard Castle: I'm hoping they involve running away together, but I'm not that lucky.


"Castle: Murder He Wrote (#5.4)" (2012)
[first lines]
Martha Rodgers: Isn't this exciting?
Richard Castle: It's just a weekend, mother.
Alexis Castle: Dad, it's your first romantic weekend away with Beckett. It's a big deal.
Richard Castle: Okay, well, no pressure, and let's just hope it happens. It's 4:30 now. If she doesn't catch a murder by 5:00, we are in the clear.
Martha Rodgers: So, what do you have planned?
Richard Castle: I... what do you mean?
Alexis Castle: You don't have a plan?
Richard Castle: The plan is to do nothing. To relax.
Martha Rodgers: Richard!
Alexis Castle: That's not a plan. Women don't like it when men don't have a plan. Hey, I'm in college now. I'm living in the world. Plus, I read a lot of magazines. Not planning is really bad.
Richard Castle: Okay...
Martha Rodgers: She's right. A man says "So what are we gonna do for dinner?", pfft, he's dead to me.
Richard Castle: Okay. I will make reservations.
Alexis Castle: Somewhere romantic.
Richard Castle: Right.
Martha Rodgers: And classy, because Kate Beckett is a classy kind of gal, you know?
Richard Castle: Right.
Alexis Castle: Under the stars would be nice.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, and you know what else you can do under the stars?
[Castle sticks his fingers in his ears to nonverbally tell them he doesn't want to hear]
Richard Castle: Okay! La la la la la la la!


"Castle: Dreamworld (#6.2)" (2013)
Kate Beckett: Castle.
Richard Castle: Hmm.
Kate Beckett: Hey.
Richard Castle: Hi. I had the strangest dream, and you were there.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, thank god.
Alexis Castle: Hi, dad.
Richard Castle: And you were there, and you were there.
Pi: Hey, Mr. C. I did some healing reiki on you. Looks like it worked.
Richard Castle: [unenthused] And you were there.


"Castle: Law & Murder (#3.19)" (2011)
Richard Castle: So, tell me what happened in Williamsburg.
Alexis Castle: Two days ago, a bunch of us went to Keena's of Brooklyn. It's a boutique. And my friends thought it would be cool if we all... took a couple things.
Richard Castle: You shop...
[Castle lowers his voice as a patrol cop walks by]
Richard Castle: You were shoplifting?
Alexis Castle: I couldn't, but my friends did, and they said I was chicken.
Richard Castle: So you went back to finish the job to impress your friends.
Alexis Castle: No, I went back to pay for what they stole. I couldn't just let someone get cheated like that. I took money out of my savings and went back to the store. When I got there, I put cash on the counter with a note and ran out as fast as I could.
Richard Castle: I don't know whether to be angry or proud. What friends were you with?
Alexis Castle: It doesn't matter.
Richard Castle: Well, of course it matters.
Alexis Castle: Who I was with is off the table. I'm not gonna narc on them.
Richard Castle: Again, angry and proud.


"Castle: Under the Gun (#3.3)" (2010)
Alexis Castle: [trying to bribe her father with breakfast in bed] I want a Vespa. It's a scooter. All my friends have them, and it would make getting around the city so much easier, and they're totally safe.
Richard Castle: Uh, honey...
Alexis Castle: I'll always wear a helmet and I'll never drive at night. You know how responsible I am.
Richard Castle: It's not you I'm worried about. Driving in New York, it's like a "Mad Max" movie.


"Castle: Death Gone Crazy (#5.12)" (2013)
Alexis Castle: I know you want to keep me safe, but... the only way to do that is... wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave.
Richard Castle: Believe me, I've thought about it. The thing is, Alexis, there are bad people out there, who will do bad things, and the more you expose...
Alexis Castle: Dad, you know me. I'm careful. And smart. But... I need to live my life, my way.
Richard Castle: All right. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop worrying, doesn't mean I'm gonna stop caring, or reminding you from time to time that you are, indeed, wrong.
Alexis Castle: And I wouldn't want you to.


"Castle: Inventing the Girl (#2.3)" (2009)
Martha Rodgers: [Castle and Alexis are helping her run lines] Guys, come on. Don't you want me to land this role?
Richard Castle: Of course we do.
Alexis Castle: Yeah.
Richard Castle: Look, we are talking about the lead in a Broadway play. This is a potential gold mine. If it's a hit, who knows how long it could run? Then I could take it on the road.
Alexis Castle: You mean you'd leave us?
Martha Rodgers: Well, only for nine months of the year. Oh, don't look so sad.
[hitting Castle with her script]
Martha Rodgers: And you, don't look so happy.
Richard Castle: [his phone rings] Castle. I'll be right there. All right.
[he hangs up]
Richard Castle: Death, murder, mayhem, whole enchilada. Sorry to bail on rehearsal.
Martha Rodgers: Oh, don't worry, Alexis can read both parts. It's all right if she misses a morning of school, isn't it?
Alexis Castle: [grabbing Castle's hand] Take me with you.
Richard Castle: To a crime scene?
Alexis Castle: It'd be educational. Please?
[Castle glances at Martha, then turns back to Alexis]
Richard Castle: Find your own hiding place.


"Castle: A Chill Goes Through Her Veins (#1.5)" (2009)
Alexis Castle: [Castle stands in front of the freezer with the door open] You know, we have air conditioning.
Richard Castle: Hmm. I'm just trying to figure out why someone would put a dead body in a freezer.
Alexis Castle: Is this a Nikki Heat or Detective Beckett question?
Richard Castle: Beckett.
Alexis Castle: That's right. The Nikki Heat thing was about incinerating a body in a self-cleaning oven.
Richard Castle: Mm-hmm. I mean, you put things in a freezer to keep them for later, but once they're there, you rarely ever go back.
Alexis Castle: If I was putting a body in a freezer, it'd be because I was trying to hide it.
Richard Castle: Until you stop paying for the storage space.
Alexis Castle: Did I stop, or did something stop me?
[realization dawns on Castle]
Richard Castle: It's family moments like these I will never forget.
Alexis Castle: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.