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Quotes for
Computer (Character)
from Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

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Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
Computer: Begin reanimation sequence.
Gallaxhar: Who dares to wake me?
Computer: Quantonium has been detected in the proximity of the Omega quadrant.
Gallaxhar: The Omega quandrant? Lame.
Computer: The trajectory of the quantonium meteor leads to a small planet in sector 72-4, a planet locally known as Earth.
Gallaxhar: What a miserable-looking mudball. Send a robot probe. Extract the quantonium with extreme prejudice. I want it all. Every last drop.
Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.
Gallaxhar: Nothing can stand in my way now.

Gallaxhar: Now I can finally rebuild my civilization. Any thought on where I can set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?
Susan Murphy: You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet...
Gallaxhar: [Grabs Susan with one of his tentacles] Or what? If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium. Now you're nothing.
Susan Murphy: There are innocent people down there who didn't do anything!
Gallaxhar: [Throws Susan down to the ground] Bah! There were innocent people in my home planet when it was destroyed.
Susan Murphy: Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
Gallaxhar: Oh, don't be. I was the one who destroyed it. Confused? After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear. Computer, begin cloning machine!
Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.
[Gallaxhar gets on machine]
Computer: Many zentons ago, when I was just a squidling, I found out my parents had...
[Machine closes; after a moment, it opens again]
Gallaxhar: No child should have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant...
[Machine closes and opens again]
Gallaxhar: And soon thereafter was married! Things were going well, until...
[Machine closes and opens again]
Gallaxhar: ...And I was all "no way!", and she was all "yes way!", and I was like...
[Machine closes and opens again]
Gallaxhar: But I've told you too much already! Let the conquest of my new planet, now know as... Gallaxhar's Planet, begin!

Gallaxhar: Are you crazy? You could have killed me!
Susan Murphy: Then we understand each other. Now open the doors and let my friends go.
Gallaxhar: Or what? Did you really think you could take me?
Computer: Quantonium has been diverted to the bridge. Escape pod is now ready.
Gallaxhar: Like I said before, you should have stopped me when you possessed the quantonium. Have fun exploding!

Computer: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
[pause]
Computer: Hmm. Nothing happened. Maybe my count
[the ship explodes]

Computer: Your busted, tired moves are no match for my security protocols.
Susan Murphy: We can't hold them off much longer!
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: There's one thing you don't know about me, my dear. My PhD is in... dance!

Computer: [Counting down to self-destruct] 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3...
Gallaxhar: Come on! Come on!
Computer: 2... 1.
[pause]
Computer: Hmm, nothing happened. Maybe my count was...
[Explosion]

Computer: [Gallaxhar drinks a hot liquid like tea through his ear and spits it out his mouth in pain] Careful, it's hot.