Allison Brooks
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Quotes for
Allison Brooks (Character)
from "Gary Unmarried" (2008)

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"Gary Unmarried: Pilot (#1.1)" (2008)
Allison Brooks: [had the kids over his weekend] I kept them because we were doing a two-hour juice cleanse and I knew you wouldn't honor it.
Gary Brooks: Probably not. No, when my kids are starving, I - I tend to *feed* them... Sorry if that makes me the *fun* parent.

Allison Brooks: [Gary asks why she must quote psycho-babble to the kids] Because, children of divorce are more likely to struggle in their own relationships. There's an entire chapter on it in "Rules for a Perfect Divorce". The book Dr. Krandall gave both of us to read. *God* you haven't even opened yours, have you!
Gary Brooks: I don't have to read it, I have the *audio* version seated on my couch!

Allison Brooks: Have - have you noticed that Tommy is scared to death of girls?
Gary Brooks: He should be afraid of girls! They pretend to like you, and then they take all your stuff!

Allison Brooks: [she and Dr. Krandall are encouraging Tommy to explore "Second Life" to meet girls] It's an online society, Gary. Okay? It's a safe place for him to meet other teens.
Gary Brooks: Yeah, and maybe a Congressman!

"Gary Unmarried: Gary Gets His Stuff Back (#1.4)" (2008)
Gary Brooks: You know, I wish you would stop bringing up that stupid divorce agreement, because I signed it under duress.
Allison Brooks: Oh, how were you under duress?
Gary Brooks: They said if I didn't sign it, I'd have to stay married to you!

Allison Brooks: Gary, I love this table. What, you think I'm just trying to hold on to it just to be vindictive?
Gary Brooks: It would fit a pattern, yeah.

"Gary Unmarried: Gary Breaks Up His Ex-Wife and Girlfriend (#1.5)" (2008)
Allison Brooks: The Russian poet Shovasokinit?
Gary Brooks: Yes, and his wife Offenisabitch.

"Gary Unmarried: Gary Gets Boundaries (#1.2)" (2008)
Allison Brooks: [at her house] Were you in my hot tub?
Gary Brooks: No, I was in *my* hot tub, that *I* built, with *my* hands, on *my* patio!
Allison Brooks: Uh, that *my* lawyer was able to get from, *your* friend, who went to law school, on the *internet*!