Jake Spidermonkey
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Quotes for
Jake Spidermonkey (Character)
from "My Gym Partner's a Monkey" (2005)

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"My Gym Partner's a Monkey: Two Tons of Fun/Docu-Trauma (#1.9)" (2006)
Jake: Four more books for my report. Research sure is hard work, but with this many books, I'm a shoo-in for an A-plus-plus-plus.
Adam: Then you'd better get cracking. That report isn't going to write itself.
Jake: Oh, yeah? How would you know? Come on, report, write yourself. Write yourself. Write yourself!
Adam: I recommend actually reading the book. That may help.
Jake: Oh, that may help, all right. Help me fall asleep.

Jake: Well, I learned an important lesson from this whole experience.
Adam: What's that?
Jake: Whipped cream doesn't make rhino pie taste any better.

Adam: What just happened?
Jake: What do you mean? A one-ton rhino just got beaten by an eight-ounce frog. Where were you the last thirty seconds?

"My Gym Partner's a Monkey: The Big Field Trip (#3.2)" (2007)
Adam: Hey, I thought car rides made you sick.
Jake: Can and did. I used your barf bag when you weren't looking.
Adam: That's not a barf bag! That's my lunch!
Jake: Really? What are you having?
[looks inside]
Jake: Ew, barf.

Adam: Some field trip. Hey, where are we going? Duh, I don't know. Let's drive off a cliff and find out. Animals.
Jake: Oho, so that the way it is, eh? Put man out in the wild and his true nature comes out. Well, let me tell you something!
Jake: That true nature hurts.

"My Gym Partner's a Monkey: The Prince and the Pooper/Gorilla My Dreams (#3.6)" (2007)
Adam: Jake, did you hear that?
Jake: Of course I did. I'm an animal. The amazing thing is that you did.
Adam: What do you mean by that?
Jake: Well, you humans are constantly being surprised and ambushed by life. Everything startles you 'cause you don't see it coming.
Adam: Oh, yeah? Prove it.
Jake: Oh, Adam, Adam, Adam. I don't have to prove anythi... Boo!
[Adam jumps out of his clothes and into the bushes]
Adam: Hand me my clothes, will ya?
Jake: No problemo, Adam.